September
September 5th
I drew my hair into a severe bun and charmed any fly-aways to stick to my scalp. I smoothed my blacker than black robes and prepared for my entrance into my 7th year Charms class.
I was a little nervous about my last minute addition to my outfit, black heels, because I hadn't practiced marching about in them, but figured the added height would do much to add to my imposingness.
I swept into the classroom, robes billowing just how they should. I turned around to lecture at the podium, but the turn messed with my sense of balance and I felt my heel slip under me.
I stumbled a bit, but managed to keep upright and tried to smoothly act as if nothing at happened.
I heard titters and a few muffled giggles. Fantastic, I thought, first day with the seventh years and they're already laughing at me.
I leveled a glare to the class, effectively shutting them up and proceeded to discuss my near impossible to meet expectations for the following year. It would be fine. I was sure that even men like Professor Snape had stumbled once or twice. The key now was to make them forget that I had ever tripped over myself by pounding them with sheer Professor Snape-style terror.
(-)
September 6th
Today was my day with the seventh years, the group that I had decided to trust with my secret.
I walked into my classroom and waited for the students to quiet down and assemble into their seats.
"Ahem," I said, clearing my voice. "I could tell you the introductory material, tell you my expectations, inform you of my grading structure, but I think by seventh year, you know the drill. Instead of going through my expectations for the school year, I've decided to come to you and ask for help."
The room was silent and I had every single pair of eyes focused on me. Brilliant.
"I need to make a confession. Those of you who remember me when I was a student surely remember Professor Weasley as well. Though you guys may not know it, I used to have a crush on Professor Weasley-" I was interrupted by whispered Merlins and bloody hells. "Quiet please." The room was silent once more. "I still harbor quite the crush on Professor Weasley and I humbly ask you to help me win her over."
The entire room erupted into catcalls and exclamations. Students were asking questions left and right and I could barely answer one before I had to answer another.
"So will you guys help me?" I asked my class after they had quieted down, only 10% of me was worried that they'd laugh at my face. To my great joy, all the students responded eagerly and happily. I swore them all to secrecy and the students began telling me of their experiences with Professor Rose Weasley in the past year and offered their advice.
At the end of the class, one girl, Melissa of Slytherin, suggested that the girl students make comments about my looks in front of Rose.
She explained, "If all the girls around her are constantly talking about how charming Professor Malfoy is or how cute his eyes are, then she'll start paying attention to how charming you are or how cute your eyes are. It's the power of suggestion."
The rest of the girls quickly took to the idea and as the class trickled out, I leaned back in my chair feeling quite satisfied with how the day had went.
(-)
September 12th
I saw Malfoy, sorry, Professor Malfoy turning down the corridor, so I quickly made a 180 and began walking hurriedly in the opposite direction. Malfoy was proving to be the poison in my otherwise perfectly created plan to become the next terrifying professor at Hogwarts.
Just a few days ago he had come waltzing into my classroom to hand me a quill I had supposedly dropped. (I'm still not convinced the quill is actually mine. It stares at me with an evil aura from its place in my quill jar.) The minute he walked in, my hackles raised and we inevitably began bickering. By the time he left, I had reverted back to school girl Rose and at one point when I had tried to punch him and he grabbed my fist; the students ooo-ed and ah-ed like we were some couple in love.
Really, I don't understand how he's already got the students charmed. When he left the room, the female students winked and giggled as they said good-bye in the most sickening of voices. He wasn't that popular in school... could the fact that he was now a professor and forbidden property have raised his stock amongst the female students? I had no idea.
What I do know is that Professor Malfoy is ruining the plan. Every time I'm around him, I do something to ruin the scary image I am trying to concoct and I have determined that the only way to keep the plan going, is to avoid him at any cost.
(-)
September 17th
I sat in my chair and thought about the more than odd behavior on Rose's part over the past weeks. There was no denying it, she was avoiding me. I walked out to clear my head and think of new plans to get her attention when I ran into three seventh years in the middle of mischief.
"How did you three get in here?"
Three guilty faces turned around to stare at me. Well this was odd; all three boys were from different houses. Obviously Hogwarts attempts at house unity were at least somewhat working. I stared into the faces of Adam, a Ravenclaw, Bradion, a Slytherin and Tim, a Gryffindor.
They were in the outdoor shed for broomsticks, which in my day wouldn't have been an issue, but now that I was a professor and now that a professional Quidditch team was sponsoring Hogwarts with brand-spanking new brooms, it was definitely my business that these three had broken in.
I brought the three students to my office, sat down and poured the three some pumpkin juice.
"I was so dearly hoping not to have to hand out detentions so soon. So boys, tell me. What were you up to? How did you get in?"
I was met with silence.
"Boys. I need to know how you three got into the shed."
More silence.
"And here I thought I had a good thing going on with the seventh years. C'mon boys. Out with it. I'm curious. How did you three get into the shed?"
"Well," began Tim, but he was met with glares from his coconspirators.
"Would you please shut it," said Bradion.
"He seems genuinely curious about the whole thing. He doesn't seem to mad about it. You aren't angry, are you professor?" he asked.
"No Tim," I answered. "I'm probably not as angry as I should be considering I'm a professor."
"See," Tim said.
Bradion sank back into his chair, "Fine. But if we get detention for this you're going to regret ever opening your mouth."
"Fine with me," Tim replied with an easy smile. "So professor. You want to know how we did it. Easy. Adam here," he said gesturing to Adam who was strangely reticent, "is a bit of a genius with locks, lock charms, unlocking charms the whole shebang. It was easy as cake getting into the shed with ol' Adam's genius. He cut through the security charms like they were… er, cake."
"And what were you boys planning on doing once you got into the shed?"
"Oh, professor. You don't want to know about the boring things we were planning on doing. We're but wee little students who were just hanging out past dark 'cause we were bored," said Tim, obviously the designated speaker of the group.
"A Ravenclaw, a Slytherin and a Gryffindor just happened to be bored on the same night and found themselves together outside the broom shed?" I lifted my eyebrow at the idea.
"Oh professor nothing escapes you, does it? It was a bit of seer thing. We knew we'd be bored later tonight so we planned to meet outside the broom shed. We were only going to have a bit of fun. As you noticed, we're all from different houses so it's relatively difficult for the three of us to meet up and be together anywhere. Have a little pity on our little trio, won't you?"
I rolled my eyes, but suddenly, inspiration struck.
"Hey Adam," I said, "You really such a genius with lock charms?"
"I'm alright," he said, shrugging.
"Because if you are so good, then I might have a deal for you three that involves zero lost house points, zero detentions and a place for the three of you to hang out anytime you want."
Bradion lifted an eyebrow and asked, "And what might this deal entail?"
I smiled; I knew I had them.
(-)
September 21st
Okay, now I was definitely not imagining things. All week long I thought I had been misplacing things. My mint green frame, the vase of flowers that Ares had gotten me, and now, my chair. (Side note: the evil quill hasn't moved from its position. I'm beginning to suspect that said quill is infecting my other good quills with its evil Professor Malfoy aura.)
My precious, intimidating, velvet, 60 galleon chair was missing. Gone. Disappeared. Stolen.
Someone was stealing things from me and I had a sneaking suspicion I knew exactly who. There was only one person who had the guts to mess with me this way and only one person who was immature enough to do so.
I marched through the hallway and barged into Professor Scorpius Malfoy's office when attention was momentarily caught by something mint green hanging on the wall of his office.
I leaned closer to look and sure enough, like the pretentious dick that he was, there was a picture of him with three of his treasured students laughing uproariously at Merlin knows what in a mint green frame. My mint green frame.
I jabbed my fingers at Scorpius in the picture and imagined what it would be like to poke his eyes out. Sweet, I decided. Poking his stupid eyes out would be sweet for as everyone knows revenge is always sweet and I intended to make my revenge on Scorpius Malfoy as sweet as possible.
I turned from the picture to face the real life Malfoy, excuse me Professor Malfoy and found him sitting with an ever so smug look on his face on a deep purple chair. He sat on it with elegance and power and I had to admit, his shock of blonde hair on his stupid, stupid, arrogantly handsome face went well with the color.
I stared at him. He stared back.
He slowly started smiling and that's when I lost it.
(-)
I could hear her pounding footsteps from my office, sitting in my recently acquired luxurious chair.
I pulled my face into an expressionless mask as I got ready for the impending ball of redheaded fury, internally squealing in delight. Finally, after weeks of ignoring me, I had gotten her to come to me. Triumph!
She exploded into my office and a picture grabbed her attention… oh that's right, I had put the frame on that wall. I had removed and shredded the picture that was originally in there and had taken a picture of me and my three special students to replace it before I had put up my mint green prize. I watched, trying to keep my face from breaking into a smile as she lifted a finger and jabbed at someone (I assume it was me) and surely at this point she was creating some sort of tortuous scenario for me in her head.
Her attention wasn't distracted for long, for she soon turned her head towards me, red hair practically glowing in anger (although the glow could have been from the fire behind her). She held on without speaking for as long as she could, but the minute I let out a smile, it was game over.
As I stared at her beautiful mouth yelling profanities the students would be shocked to hear, I couldn't help but smile some more. For some reason, this woman, this brilliant but sometimes dangerously insane woman was utterly captivating to me. I tuned back into what she was yelling when she tried to grab the mint green frame off the wall.
"And this!" she yelled as she took ahold of the frame. "This, I know, is definitely the same one as the one formerly in my office. I know you took it along with that chair with those three so-called students you bloody prick! Where's my vase?" As she tried to pry the frame off the wall, I thanked Merlin that Tim had thought of securing the frame with Weasley's Will Still Be Stuck 'Till the End of Eternity Sticking Glue. As she muttered charms under her breath between profanities, I was even more glad that Bradion, who was in the middle of the photo, had thought of asking the Weasleys to modify the sticking glue to make it impervious to charms.
Seven charms later, two of which I'd never heard of, and 11 creative ways expressed on how to best dismember my body, I intervened with a simple, helpful question, "Why Professor Weasley, do you need some help there?"
She turned around and smiled sweetly.
Uh oh, I thought, this means nothing but trouble. "Why Professor Malfoy, what a kind question. Yes, you can help me; you can help me by removing that stupid perfect arse of yours off my bloody chair."
I smiled back at her and stood up. She whispered Wingardium Leviosa to levitate the chair only to have it stay exactly where it was. She then proceeded to let out a quite feral scream and muttered a charm under her breath that made all the contents of the room not stuck with the sticking glue (the chair, the frame and the two vases in the corner) immediately rise up the ceiling and fall down into disarray.
"Good day Professor Malfoy," she said with as much malice as she could as she took her leave.
My personal effects were ruined and all my students' essays as well as my personal notes were floating down as she strode out of the room. It would take me more than an hour to sort my office out, as she must have very well known, but all I could do as I watched her slam the office door was smile. She had called my arse perfect.
(-)
The minute I closed the door, I let out a little pent up fury at being made an idiot and let out my anger by forcing little punches into the stone wall. The pain quickly brought back my senses and I marched more than quickly to my office as I nodded here and there to the various "Hello Professor Weasley"s from the more polite students.
Three students quickly brushed by me as if they were doing important business and had somewhere pressing to be. Even in my rush, I caught sight of the three miscreants and quickly halted to threaten them.
"Adam, Bradion, Tim," I said as icily as I could, "Don't think that I don't know the three of you were involved in some manner. Especially you, Adam, who wrote that enlightening essay on locking and unlocking charms." Adam winced slightly when I called him out. "I'll be seeing the three of you in my office." I quickly whooshed away with what I hoped was a dramatic flourish of my robe. I turned my head around slightly to see the impression that I made only to find the three boys shuffling after me.
"I didn't mean now, dammit!" I barked, while stumbling slightly over my robes. Sigh, even if I had succeeded in being dramatic only seconds ago, I was sure to have ruined the effect by tripping over my damn robes. I turned around again and didn't look back, determined that this time, yes, this time, Professor Malfoy and his three delinquent students would learn their lessons.
When I reached the office, the only thought I had was that it was high time for a good complaint, and I knew the perfect person who would listen to my complaints with minimum judgment. Well, she'd certainly judge, but she'd keep my complaints in the family.
I shoved my head in my fireplace and threw powder as I shouted, "Lily's!" I blinked as I adjusted to my setting and sure enough, Lily's face popped into my view.
"Here to complain? Again?" she asked. I nodded vigorously. "Okay wait. My butt started hurting last time. Let me go get a cushion and some food." I waited for her to finish up in the kitchen and watched hungrily as she returned with some cookies, milk, and a plush cushion. She looked straight at me and said, "Shoot."
"So I went looking for my chair, you know my super intimidating one? Anyways I distracted by a picture of the smug bastard and his three minions in my mint green frame- the one that had the picture of all of us when we went skiing in the Alps that one time. I mean, it's not as if I can go to the Headmistress with all these blatant acts of robbery. It would be horrible to admit that not only can I not sufficiently punish three students, but I also can't manage to have cordial relations with one of the other professors!
"I just know those three students of his and he have been in cahoots since the beginning of the term! The one time I caught the three of them up after hours, they had insisted that they were doing work for stupid Malfoy. They persuaded me to ask him and when I went to his personal chambers and knocked on the door, he had obviously been sleeping, but when he saw that it was Tim, Bradion and Adam that were in trouble he immediately covered for them and it wasn't like I could call him out on it!
"Oh why oh why in bloody hell did he have to come and teach at this school? Can't he go teach at Beauxbaton or freeze his balls off in Durmstrang? AUGHHHHH!" I let out a frustrated scream while Lily looked impassively at me.
AN: I also uploaded a chapter of my Un-Knight! (Now called, The Un-Knight and the Flower in Distress. This is a tentative title... I might think of something better.) Please read and review this chapter and check out my other story!
