Total Drama Cul-De-Sac By: Sounds of Snow

Chapter Three: From Beneath You We Scream

(A Total Drama classic competitor appears in this episode.)

Chris smiled into the frame and began to retell the past episodes events. "Previously on Total Drama Cul-De-Sac, our teams dived into a pit of the grossest creatures on the planet to retrieve items for find water in the desert."As Chris spoke, short clips from the last episode where the teams began diving into the bug pit were played. "As our teams headed off into the desert, it was pretty obvious we were all thinking Team Peach Creek would win." Shots of recently mentioned team gathering water were played. "Yet in the end, Rolf's farming and tracking skills won the challenge for Team Lemon Brook. Now that was shocking." Videos centered on Rolf finding the reservoir were shown. "Team Peach Creek made an almost unanimous vote, ousting Jimmy from Total Drama Cul-De-Sac. Man, what a wimp." Jimmy was shown being thrown into the pit. The shot then returned to Chris. "While I'm sure we were all happy to see that brat go first, I'm sure we're just as excited to see who will go next. Find this and more, on… Total- Drama- Cul-De-Sac!"

The opening credits rolled and faded to black. The show reopened with a sleeping Eddy, laying a poorly stuffed mattress on the splintered floor of his dormitory. Covered in a fabric which could only be described as a prison blanket, he rolled over uncomfortably in his sleep, falling harshly onto the floor.

Eddy grumbled as he snapped from his dreams and back into the reality that he was inside a terrible T.V. show. Realizing that today would be the second challenge; Eddy groaned and walked towards the bathroom to shower and freshen up. The restroom was nothing more than a hose protruding from the wall and a large hole which Eddy supposed was the toilet.

"Gee, its Ed's dream bathroom," Eddy moaned sarcastically. "If hose spurted out gravy, ol' lumpy would have it made." The camera cut to static, switching over to the Diary Cam tapes.

Confessional – Eddy: "Two days too long…" Eddy snarled. "Yesterday was horrible. Old shovel chin tried to kill me in that bug pit and I had to go to that cook for treatment. How much longer am I gonna have to wait to get my money?"

Confessional – Ed: Ed gave a dopey smile and began to recall his time spent on the show so far. "I had so much fun yesterday. Chris let us go scuba-bugging, and then we got dig a hole, then he gave us jawbreakers, and I didn't have to take a shower! This has gotta be the bestest place in the whole wide world!"

Eddy scratched his head. The guy's building was empty, save for Ed who was snoring like an animal in the corner. Two minutes ago, they were all asleep as he left for the bathroom, now only Ed remained. Something was off about this.

Eddy wandered over to his friend and shook him violently. Ed blinked and looked up at the tiny kid. "Morning Eddy," Ed answered with a yawn.

"Ed, do you notice anything different with our quarters today?" Eddy asked.

"But I thought our scams never got us cash," Ed responded idiotically.

"I mean about our dorm," Ed angrily clarified.

Ed surveyed his environment, looking around the room, spying all the empty mattresses, void of customers. Ed scratched his head. "Uh…" Ed then shouted, "Ooh! I know! Everyone got a haircut."

Eddy turned beet red and then screamed, "They're missing you dip wad!" Eddy's yell was so powerful, Ed's head vibrated as the sound waves travelled through his ear.

Ed's head stilled. He densely replied, "Maybe their haircuts are so good, they went down the mess hall to brag about."

"That doesn't make-" Eddy paused, believing the obnoxious comment against his better judgment. "Hey! You're right!" Eddy shouted, letting his ego consume him. Eddy clenched his fists and growled in anger. "So they think their hair is so neat and fancy? I'll show those twerps my awesome hair and then they'll be jealous. Come on, Lumpy." Ed ordered.

Ed catapulted off his mattress, still wearing his same clothes from yesterday, and ran off to the mess hall laughing like a numbskull. Eddy followed in pursuit, ready to brag to his fellow competitors.

Much to Eddy's displeasure, no one was in the mess hall either. Not even the girls had shown up for breakfast. Only Ed and Eddy were left. "I don't get it." Eddy groaned. "Where the heck are these guys? I wanted to brag about my hair."

"It's like we're the only two left in the competition," Ed said absentmindedly.

"Maybe that's exactly what's happening!" Eddy shrieked with glee. "I guess ol' Chris musta finally realized he had a star player and left you here, Lumpy, to insure my victory."

"In your dreams, munchkin," Chris snubbed. The man in his early thirties appeared from the kitchen and approached the two Eds. "We didn't eliminate the other contestants. That'd be too easy." The shot shifted over to the confessional.

Confessional – Chris: "Personally, I don't think either of those two stooges will survive past the team challenges," Chris stated. He flashed an eager smiled and blinked his devilish eyes. "But yah gotta love sending two nitwits to do a more qualified man's job."

"Well then where are they?" Eddy asked.

"They've currently been relocated as part of today's challenge," Chris explained. "Yah see, Chef and I kidnapped the rest of the campers while Eddy was in the bathroom and Ed was sleeping." Chris walked the campers out of the mess hall and into the scorching heat of the desert. "All of the other eleven contestants have been buried far and why across this campground. You two will dig out all of your teammates to get invincibility."

"By ourselves," Eddy yelled, annoyed by Chris' unfair rules.

"Every player you dig up will be allowed to help you in today's challenge." Chris continued.

"But Ed has one less guy to dig up!" Eddy whined.

"Due to your disadvantage, you'll be allowed a shovel." Chris told Eddy, tossing him the digging tool.

"How's this gonna help me?" Eddy asked. "Ed can dig twice as fast as me with his bare hands."

"I am Ed. Better said than red on cold bumper in jed," Ed babbled.

"I think you'll have a slight advantage of brain power," Chris responded.

"Slight?" Eddy said in shock.

"Also, for every kid on your team that you find, you'll have to break open their ten ton containment unit, forged from dark matter steel in area fifty-one." Chris continued.

"It's like you're trying to help Ed win!" Eddy pouted.

"Not my fault you were born with no skills or attributes," Chris said to Eddy. "And I'd hurry if I were you two." Chris forewarned. "Cause we have no idea how long those brats can survive underground." Chris began to laugh hysterically, causing Eddy to cringe slightly. Ed laughed with Chris, no understanding the meaning behind the madness.

"Your challenge begins, now!" Chris yelled. Eddy sluggishly walked out into the campground and grumbling as he dragged his shovel behind him. Ed remained firm in place, giving the hosts a dimwitted stare. "Uh… that means go… now!" Chris explained, pointing to the door.

"But I haven't eaten yet!" Ed complained. "Belly hungry!" The camera quit to the confessional yet again.

Confessional – Chris:Chris sighed and held his hand over his face, a sign he'd given up. "I just had to pick kids. Plenty of teens who'd love to be on this show, but no! Kids would definitely shoot up the ratings." Chris pointed to the camera. "Yah, I'm talking you guy! All those unpaid interns who told me kids were in with the entertainment bizz; I will ruin your lives!"

Eddy was bluntly shoveling away at the barren soil, scraping the soil away, bit by bit. The moisture free dirt made the digging ten times harder than it needed to be. "When I dig somebody up, they're doing the work." Eddy moaned.

Meanwhile, in the mess hall, Ed munched away at Chef Hatchet's rock hard pancakes. Burnt to a crisp and flavorless as a piece of wood, it would be sure to make any kid barf. Yet Ed seemed to be able to eat anything. He kept piling on the breakfast like nobody's business. "Keep knocking 'em up, Chef; almost as good as my mattress." Ed commented.

Chef cringed, but reluctantly gave the gross boy more flapjacks. "Uh, don't you have something to do? Maybe, digging yo' loved one's up?"

Ed thought for a moment, before replying, "What?" Chef mumbled something which had to be censored.

The show refocused itself back on Eddy, who had just smashed his shovel into a large hollow object. "Ow," a voice resonated from the soil. Eddy began scraping away dirt from hole he'd dug with his hand, gradually unearthing a clear box. Inside, was a terrified sockheaded child still wearing his P.J.s, stuck in a state of hyperventilation.

"Eddy! Eddy, thank goodness! I was kidnapped by that barbaric pastry-cook! He locked me in this prison and left me here for- Eddy wait! What're you doing! No Eddy! Wait!" Eddy began to redeposit dirt back onto his buried friend.

"Sorry sockhead." Eddy briefly apologized. "But I'm in a challenge and I ain't helping the other team."

"Eddy! I'll pay you in jawbreakers! Eddy! EDDY!" Double D's screams were silenced as Eddy reburied his opponent, being careful to remove any traces of his unearthing.

Static engulfed the screen as the shot went back to the dining area. Ed belched and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. He let out a goofy smile and lied back in his chair. Chris and Chef stared at the child, unsure what to think. "Should we tell him, or…" Chris said, not sure what to do.

"I'll get him out there." Chef groaned. Chef strutted over towards Ed and tapped on his shoulder.

"You know you left your whole team out buried in the dusty earth," Chef said in a sweet voice.

"What?" Ed said, not sure what was going on.

Ignoring this, Chef continued. "What's your little sis' gonna say when she hears you left her buried underground?" It took a moment for Ed's brain to fully register that thought, but when it fully hit him, his face broke out into sheer panic.

"No! Sarah! Don't tell mom! Don't tell mom!" Ed took off into a sprint and busted through the doors of the mess hall, scared for his little sibling.

"Hah, what a rube," Chris chuckled.

The cameras went back to Eddy, who was about halfway through his third hole when his shovel clanged against another object. A resonating screech of pain came from the dirt and Eddy excitedly scrapped his way through the sands, hoping he'd finally be able to catch a break. As he lifted away the last bit of gravel and dust, his hopes were crushed.

Inside was a girl with long, grayish black hair. She wore a skimpy bra type shirt, bootie shorts, a light pink lipstick, and appeared to be around eighteen or nineteen. Eddy raised an eyebrow. "Did I just find the fourth, disowned Kanker, or what?" Eddy asked.

"My name is Heather, now let me out!" the woman shrieked as she pounded on her glass walled prison. Though annoyed, Eddy freed the one called Heather, and pulled her out of the newly dug pit.

"Who the heck are you?" Eddy asked in semi-caring manner.

"I already told you, Heather," she reminded him. Eddy was still confused.

"Heather! From Total Dramas Island, Action, and World Tour." She bragged. Eddy still gave her a confused look.

"I had a cameo in the last season," she pouted. Eddy frowned.

"I was practically the star of this freakin' show!" Heather screamed.

"Yah, yah; keep it to yourself." Eddy snubbed her. "I didn't really watch this show before coming onto it. I don't know how being on this show would make you famous."

"I'll have you know, I won season three," Heather proclaimed proudly, hands on her hips.

"Really," Eddy said enviously. "You got a million bucks!"

Heather frowned and moaned in discontent. "You could say that."

"Look, that's fine and dandy, but what are you doing here?" Eddy asked.

"Um, I was kidnapped from my house!" Heather replied, pissed off beyond comprehension. "Is this another one of Chris' stupid challenges?"

"I'm 'supposed' to be finding my team members who're buried under all this dirt." Eddy explained, throwing his arms in the air. "Why the heck did I find you?"

Just like magic, Chris' voice buzzed in across the desert retreat, probably being carried through speakers hidden in the flora, fauna, and structures. "Oh yah, some of the objects we buried are duds, meant to waste your time and energy. We've enclosed a range of people, objects, and miscellaneous doodads. Ha, ha, hah!" Chris laughed. "Did I forget to mention that?" Eddy and Heather's mouths fell in shock and anger.

The camera cut to the whale carcass, playing clips of Eddy and Heather.

Confessional – Eddy: "Are you kidding me? I wasted my time digging up some reality has-been who lost all their money over god knows what crazy scandal? That's just not fair."

Confessional – Heather: "I got dragged out here for one of Chris' stupid challenges. You know what; I'm charging him and that psycho chef for kidnapping, forced entry, and a making mockery of my good looks and time!"

Ed came into focus, plowing through the dirt near the edge of the set like a one man construction team. "I will find you baby sister, even if I must plow through all of the mountains and valleys and mobs of paparazzi!"

"Ed!" Sarah voice penetrated the sound barrier, colliding with Ed's ear.

"Baby sister!" Ed screamed with relief. He began digging on the spot where he was standing. He heard more of her cries. "It's okay Sarah, I am right above you."

"Ed!" By this point, Ed had tunnel about fifteen feet into the sandy landscape. He popped his head from his handiwork and saw beside the holes: Sarah.

"Sarah," Ed proclaim happily. He jumped from the pit and wrapped his arms around his younger sibling.

"Get off me, Ed!" Sarah choked as Ed squeezed her. Ed bluntly released her and she fell to the ground with a thud.

"Oh baby sister, I am so happy that you are okay," Ed commented.

"I dug myself out twenty minutes ago," Sarah replied. "What the heck is going on here?"

"It's a challenge. We have to find all the seekers who are hiding like bugs in a rug under slugs." Ed poorly explained.

"So we're digging our team up from this dehydrated sand pit?" Sarah replied bluntly.

"Yep," Ed grinned. Sarah sighed.

Confessional – Sarah: "This show is grinding my gears."

The quick confessional flashed away and skipped over to a shot of Chris. "We've installed hidden cameras inside each of our caskets of terror. Let's see how our fellow children are doing in their contained environments." Chris snickered.

The shot went over to a wide screen picture, showing Johnny and Plank in a dark, dank environment. "Yowzers, Plank! You sure do help make the time pass with your wallop packing stories." Johnny held the wooden board to the side of his head. "Aw, don't worry buddy. I'm sure Chef is coming back to dig us up any minute."

The camera switched over to Nazz who was using a nail filer to chisel away at her wooden coffin. Kevin was shouting strong obscenities which had to be filter with three different types of censors. Lee was busy punching the crud out of her prison.

Rolf was off his rocker, believing that he was killed by 'jealous smart Double D Ed-boy doppelganger girl' in his sleep and was reincarnated as a vegetable seed. Now Rolf was trying to get in touch with his 'roots of the earth'. "Rolf hopes that a farmer of the old country will prune his leaves with gentle care and feed him to his livestock, as Rolf will make them strong, like Rolf was in his all too short, tragically slain by a Ed-boy clone, life." Rolf rambled. "But who is complaining? Shrubbery of the vine bears many fruit for the noblest of men, and Rolf's edibility will provide great nourishment for those of the old country. Rolf can hardly bear his anticipation."

"Oh, big Ed," May called from her cell. "Who wants to come and save a lovely hunk of me?"

Hope waited calmly. She'd by now figured out this entrapment was all part of Chris and Chef's wicked plan so she relaxed her breathing and waited for one of her teammates to rescue her.

Jack was slamming his body into the sides of coffin, trying to shatter the wood and dig his way from his prison. "I'm gonna kill Chris." Jack sputtered. "I better be outta here in ten mintues or god, help me I'll…"

The camera beamed away to a confessional, supposedly taped after the challenge occurred, as it featured Jack.

Confessional – Jack: "So I didn't get out past the twenty minute point I was hoping." Jack explained. "No big. I was totally fine down there."

Fading back to Jack in his casket, he was crying and desperately yelling for an escape. Tears of anxiety flowed down his face as he screamed for Team Peach Creek.

Confessional – Jack: "I think I handled this challenge well."

Marie was clawing at her wooden dungeon, using her long red nails like carving tools. "Ow!" Marie shrieked as her pulled her left hand from the wood. She carefully examined her fingers. "I broke a nail you stupid host!" Marie yelled.

Inside Double D's prison, he was busy hyperventilating, stuck in a state of paranoia and he randomly shouted college level equations for no reason. Benedict was trying to pick up a cell phone signal.

The shot went back to Chris, snickering at the misfortune of those buried. "Wow, I would hate to be in there shoes. Meanwhile, Eddy is finally making some progress."

The show moved focus over to Eddy who was busy digging yet another pit. He was drenched in sweat, sunburned, and visibly tired. He scooped another clump of dirt from the ground and tossed into the blaring sun. Eddy squinted, noticing beige object in the sands. There was no sound of struggle, so Eddy wasn't sure it was a coffin, but he continued to shovel the sand away, nevertheless.

He began scrubbing away the dirt away, uncovering yet another human in a box. Hope was still, relaxed as rested her head against the bottom of her prison. She opened her eyes, noticing the fresh sunlight. "Oh, hello," Hope smiled. "I was wondering when one of you guys would appear."

"Finally, I found somebody!" Eddy groaned, yet still somehow managing to sound exhilarated.

"I take it this is a challenge?" Hope asked expectedly.

"Yah," Eddy replied, opening up her casket and pulling her out. "We gotta find all the others on our team. They're buried all over the freaking camp."

Hope nodded, standing straight. "How many people from Team Peach Creek have been dug up?" she asked.

"I think just Sarah," Eddy replied. "But at the speed Ed's going, we may not have a chance."

"Don't think that way," Hope said. "If we just work together than we can-"

"Can what?" Eddy interrupted. He pointed to the two siblings at the other side of the camp. "Look at them!" Ed was busy using his mouth to scoop of piles of dirt like a construction crane and Sarah was making great time to as she pried at the hard, rocky soil with her hands. "Do you think we can compete with that?" Eddy asked her.

"Not with your attitude, we can't." Hope sighed.

The camera went to static, beaming away to the confessional.

Confessional – Sarah: "My brother's an idiot, but with him there's no way we can lose this challenge."

Confessional – Ed: "I like this stuff," Ed said with a mouthful of dirt and maggots. "Now I know why Chef makes such a yummy stew."

Confessional – Chef Hatchet: Chef shrugged. "Can't really argue with the kid," Chef told the audience. "With our budget, these brats are lucky to get one portion of real food a week."

The camera went back to Ed who was still moving dirt at the speed unmatched by any construction site. Ed spit about half the dusty earth in his mouth, chewing and swallowing the rest of it, and went back to excavating. Ed stuck his face into the trench he was making once more and felt his teeth smash into a glassy, fragile surface. Ed clenched his mouth tightly and straightened back up.

Held up by his powerful jaws was another glass case, containing the boy known as Double D. The child was past the point of scared and looked about ready to pass out. His breathing was sporadic and sounded like a panting dog. "Hi-yah Double D," Ed said in a muffled voice with his mouth tightly attached to the casing.

"Ed! Let me out! I can't take it! This goes against every law of humanity and justice which I can bare to describe!" Double D pleaded.

"Okey dokey Double D," Ed replied. He violently chomped on the glass, shattering the entire coffin, letting Double D fall to the ground with a thwack! "There yah go, snug like kid with an internal head injury."

Confessional – Double D: With a doctors mask and gloves on to protect him from the germs of the whale carcass, Double D blew out into a full on rant. "That challenge was abhorred! I was stuck down there for at least three hours. The cluster phobia was bad enough, but I was rescued and then left to perish by own best friend, Eddy! This show is shredding me to bits and pieces!"

Eddy and Hope watched solemnly as Team Peach Creek rescued Double D, followed by Lee and Jack, the latter of which was trying to cover his red, tear stained face. Eddy and Hope chuckled at the sight.

"What's your problem tough guy?" Lee asked. She cocked smile. "A few hours alone ain't softening you up, are they?" she cooed.

"What, no!" Jack persisted, wiping his eyes. "It was getting stuffy down there."

"I'm sure." Lee appeared to be rolling her eyes under her swampy, red hair. "So what's going on here? This some kinda joke?"

"One of Chris' abhorred challenges." Double D replied. "He's making us dig for companions who've been buried alive against their will!"

"Is that all?" Lee asked. "You guys make it sound like we're walking on fire or something."

"Who's here?" Jack questioned his team.

"We still have to find Nazz and May," Sarah spat. "Wish we'd found you last." She whispered.

Confessional – Sarah: "I know that Jack either voted for me or Jimmy last night. He's dead! I'll be honest, I hate my whole team right now."

The two members of Team Lemonbrook looked with disappointed eyes at their sorry progress. They'd yet to find anyone else, much to Eddy's disappointment and fear. Eddy, knowing Kevin would attempt to frame him for the downfall of the challenge, turned to Hope in desperation. "Look," Eddy said sternly to her. "Kevin's going to try and nail this whole mess to me."

Hope nodded. "All the same, you won't be eliminated."

Eddy raised an eyebrow. "If he can convince at least four people, he might." Eddy told her.

Hope shook her head. "You'll be fine. This team won't suffer any losses this challenge."

"Listen, I think the two of us can make it the final three." Eddy proposed. "Yah wanna be a team? No one's around to hear us."

Hope looked over at Eddy and thought deeply. "How do you plan to make it to the finale?"

"I've got a strategy, I'll tell you about it later," Eddy replied. "Just insure that I survive this ceremony and I'll tell you."

"How do you know we'll lose?" Hope asked.

The sound of glass breaking interrupted the two's conversation. "Ow!" a high pitched voice screamed. "There's glass in my arm," the unearthed blonde groaned, as she was lifted from the box with the help of Jack and Ed. Double D began to gently dab an alcohol swab on to Nazz's cuts while carefully pulling out the glass with tweezers.

Nazz winced. "Sorry Nazz," Double D apologized.

"Crybaby," Lee snickered.

"Can it, Kanker dude," Nazz retorted.

With this new addition, Team Peach Creek was now six and Team Lemon Brook was two. "Are you not seeing this?" Eddy snapped, pointing over at the opposite team. "They're stacking up like my detentions."

Hope paused.

Confessional – Hope: "An alliance with someone like Eddy is risky," Hope admitted. "But I've assessed the situation carefully. I know enough about Eddy that I should be able to tell by his mannerisms if he intends to betray me. Also, I've watch previous seasons of this show before, so I do know crafty people like Eddy make it particularly far in Total Drama. Notable examples include Alejandro, Heather, Duncan, Scott and Courtney."

The confessional transitioned back to Hope who nodded. "Alright, it's an alliance then." She held out her hand. Eddy shook bluntly.

"Yah, yah; handshakes…" Eddy grumbled. "So you're gonna keep me from getting eliminated, right?"

"I've told you once, you will not be cast out if we lose," Hope promised. Eddy groaned and none too gently shoved his shovel blade into his recently dug hole. A sharp smashing sound emanated with his blade. Eddy and Hope turned towards the hole.

"What the-" Eddy said, but was interrupted by another voice.

"Good god, there's glass and dirt on my sleeping attire," a stern voice groaned. "My robe must be pressed and ironed and I must have my night shirt and pants dry cleaned and foam scrubbed." The voice changed its direction to Hope and Eddy. "Whoever you are, you're paying for the damages to my dressings."

"Benedict?" Hope said with confusion.

"Oh, it's you," Benedict groaned. "Just when I thought you were civilized, you go and damage my neatly prepared bed wear. I guess wealth and manners go hand in hand."

"Hey fancy pants, we don't have to dig you dig you out." Eddy sneered.

"Oh don't you, you conning simpleton?" Benedict replied. "I've got sixteen lawyers on speed dial, and believe me; they would be more than happy to help me take you to court for false entrapment."

The two kids groaned and scraped away the dirt from atop the glass case, snapping to top off the coffin. "Hey! Clear away more the landscape. There's more dirt falling on my dress wear." Benedict complained.

"Shut up Richie Rich!" Eddy growled.

The two yanked the kid from the containment box, and forced him onto the desert ground. "Ugh! How unprofessional; as expected from naïve children." Benedict snubbed. "My own team going and burying me for sport; how enlightening."

"It's Chris' challenge." Hope told the rich boy. "We have to find the rest of our teammates. Are you going to help or what?"

"Fools, asking rhetorical questions," Benedict said flatly. He took a pile of money from his pajamas and began counting through the bills. "If you'll excuse me, I must change into my business attire. Unlike some of us," Benedict said, referring to Hope.

Hope frowned and watched as the coldhearted child walked back to the male's dorms. "Gee, who fed him sour milk?" Eddy asked metaphorically.

Team Peach Creek was once again taking the lead. Like in the last challenge, they were well ahead of their rivals; except this time they were determined to keep themselves from losing at the last minute. Jack assumed the position of leader like in the last challenge. With Ed, Lee, and Sarah on digging duty, he had Double D and Nazz scouting locations which Chris and Chef could've possibly buried contestants.

Confessional – Jack: "We're not losing again." Jack persisted. "We just need to find May." Jack leaned back against one of the whale ribs. "I know it looks like I'm not doing much, but really I'm just playing these saps. They take me as their leader and do all the work for me. I'm set in stone until the merge. But when that happens, I'll just find an alliance from the remnants of Team Peach Creek."

Jack approached Lee, Ed, and Sarah. "Status report on finding May," Jack ordered.

"I found this case full of bottle caps," Ed reached into his pocket and showed him several types of soda tops. "Pretty cool, huh?"

Jack face palmed. "We're looking for May, remember?"

Ed went pale. "I don't want to find May. Ah!" Ed began to run off, scared to death by the sound of the Kanker's name.

Jack sighed heavily. "Oh my god…" He looked at the curly haired Kanker. "Please tell me you've found her."

"No! Now quit asking me." Lee growled. "I'll tell if we find my halfwit sister."

The sports enthusiast turned to Sarah. "What about-" a dumbbell flew at the jock's face. Jack felt his eye swell up and his nose run with blood. "What the heck was that?" Jack snarled.

"Oops," Sarah said unsympathetically. "Just trying to show you what I found so far."

"So you throw a twenty five pound weight at my-" he felt another weight catch him in the shoulder. Jack collapsed on the ground in pain.

"The casket came with two dumbbells." Sarah informed him.

Meanwhile in the males' dormitory, Benedict straightened his tie and put on the finishing touches to his crisp and clean suit. He put on sunglasses over his pale face, adding a sense of professionalism and confidence to his look. Benedict smiled to himself in the mirror, and found himself oddly hungry.

The wealthy child walked over to his window. Outside, his two pathetic teammates were desperately trying to outmatch their far superior rival team. The whole lot of them looked ridiculous, clothed in sleeping attire (with the exception of Ed and Eddy). Benedict groaned and looked at his watch. It was nearly five. He knew Chris would not allow them to eat unless one team had succeeded in the challenge.

Benedict walked over to his lumpy floor mattress and pulled up and edge of one of the floorboards near his bed. He reached into the hole and pulled up a small, boxy looking device.

Confessional – Benedict: "I wouldn't just come on this show without stashing an emergency cell phone. Father would never just let me withdraw, but I should have some advantages to getting my way on this show. It seems a bit early to be using it, but I'm not going to wait any longer for supper."

The well off child flipped through contacts, selecting one which said 'Father.' He clicked the button and held the phone to his ear. The dial tone buzzed for a few seconds. "Yes? Father- … No, I'm not calling to eject from the competition, as much as I'd like too. … I need help. … I just need you to send some men out there and unbury at least one of those dimwitted children. … I don't know if it's cheating, but- … I'm not waiting any longer for supper! Just make it happen!" With that final statement, Benedict hung up and waited for a response.

Half an hour went by, and still no answer was hindered, until a chopper was faintly heard in the background. Benedict smiled at his handiwork.

Outside, both teams were confused by the noise. In the distance, they could see a helicopter approaching the campsite. The black dot began to grow larger and larger on the horizon. "What the heck is going on?" asked Sarah.

"Perhaps the Canadian government has come to detain Chris again," Double D pondered.

"Wouldn't that be a miracle…?" Nazz said.

The chopper flew in over the camp and began to hover over the campsite. Two men in black repelled from the copter and using what appeared to be sonar watches, wandered over the camp in search of something. They stopped about three feet from the mess hall, appearing to be interested in a piece of ground near the building.

One man took out a strange looked gun and took aim at the ground. He fired, and the soil from the top of the ground to maybe four feet down was vaporized instantaneously. The next man used a grappeling hook and fired into the hole. He reached down and plucked a child from the pit. The two then raced back to their ropes, climbed into the helicopter, and flew into the distance within three minutes flat.

Confessional – Double D: "I suspect foul play. Even though we won, it wasn't truly a fair win." Double D scratched his chin, careful not to push his doctor's mask away. "I know only one person with the resources and capability to pull off such a heist."

Confessional – Jack: Jack shrugged. "Works for me…"

Confessional – Lee: "Just when I thought the government was finally here to take my idiot sister, they leave her behind. What a rip."

Confessional – Ed: Ed was crying profusely, upset by the recent events of the challenge. "It's not fair. The government took E.T. away, and instead they leave me May!" Ed continued to sob.

The teams were astonished. May, who was the child retrieved from the pit, was confused most of all. "Like, what in the world was that?"

"Benedict," muttered Hope under her breath so no one would hear.

"I have no idea what just happened, but I'd say that Team Peach Creek was the first to unearth all their teammates." Chris surmised. "Team Peach Creek wins!" Jack, Double D, Nazz, Sarah, Lee, May, and Ed broke out into cheers.

If that wasn't insulting enough, Rolf, Kevin, and Marie burst out of the ground mere seconds after Team Peach Creek's victory was announced.

Rolf pulled himself out of the ground, emerging proud and victorious. "Rolf has emerged from his see-through fruit pod and is ready to spawn gifts for the Earth." Rolf double checked himself and looked at his skin. "Curses!" Rolf exclaimed. "Rolf had been bamboozled by the tomfoolery witchcraft of film box men once more."

Kevin popped his head out the ground. He tried to fully force himself out, but the dirt had trapped him in cocoon of sand and rubble. "Hey! Is somebody gonna get me outta here or what, man!"

Marie stared at her surroundings and she clawed her way from the dirt. Around her were condemning sights: Hope and Eddy staring blankly at the ground, Team Peach Creek cheering with glee, Chris standing near Team Peach Creek. "Uh… did I miss something here?" Marie asked.

Confessional – Marie: "How did we lose a challenge already? What the heck is going on?"

About three hours later, seven kids (now in actual clothes instead of P.J.s) and the hunk of wood known as Plank sat around the Eating Pit of Doom. Johnny and Plank had been the last to be dug up, found by Chef. The two had been buried below the ribcage confessional.

Chris stood before the ominous pit on a podium, holding a plate with seven jawbreakers. "I'll be honest; I totally expected to see you guys here." Chris told the contestants. "But come on, government agents!" Chris began to laugh. "That is rich." The kids did no laugh with Chris, returning him blank stares.

"Kill joys," Chris muttered. He held the plate of candy high. "And now, it's the most judgmental time of the day. It's time to each take a trip to the confessional, and vote…"

Confessional – Eddy: "Time to get rid of you, before you get rid of me." Eddy wrote down Kevin's name and roughly shoved it into the ballet box.

Confessional – Kevin: "You cost us the challenge, Dorky." Kevin said; clearly unaware of the events that transpired while he was buried. "You're going down, man." He wrote Eddy's name down.

Confessional – Hope: "You have fooled everyone but me." She scribbled Benedict's name on a piece of paper. "Whether you trying to help us or not, I will not stoop to a cheater's level."

Confessional – Marie: "I'm not going to waste my time with a hunk of wood." Marie inscribed 'Plank' onto the paper.

"Um… we only got seven votes." Chris looked down at Plank. "Yah know what, forget it. We have enough votes to eliminate someone." Chris began his usual speech. "I have seven jawbreakers with me on this plate." Chris explained. "When I call your name, come up and claim your sweet. For you will be safe. If you do not receive one, you will be cast into the Eating Pit of Doom, as a sacrifice to the legendary Thunderbird." He held up a candy. "The first jawbreaker goes to Hope."

"Why thank you," Hope said to Chris and her team. "I'm flattered to feel needed, but I'm full, really." Chris shrugged and threw the Jawbreaker into the pit.

"No!" Eddy yelled. "That candy was still good!" he moped.

Chris ignored him. "Next is Johnny."

"Can yah believe it buddy," Johnny asked his wooden friend. "I'm safe!" He ran up to Chris and snatched his jawbreaker. "And to think I was going paranoid all this time over this thing. You were right, Plank. Just vote for who you say and it'll be cinch."

"Rolf." Rolf took his candy and sat back in his seat.

"The son of a Sheppard is amused." Rolf commented. "He receives a candy from the film box gnomes as a sign of retribution for their pranks. Ho ho! Such merriment."

"Marie." The girl took her sweet and delightfully sucked on it.

Chris looked at the four remaining campers. "I don't know how to say this, but the rest of you each got one at least vote." Chris announced. Eddy, Kevin, and Benedict went wide eyed. "I know; it's shocking. I think it's the most diverse vote we've ever had with half of the group getting at least one vote."

Chris grabbed another jawbreaker. "The next person in is… Benedict." The fancy boy took his candy and ate it as he computed stock market values with a pocket calculator.

"Kevin." Chris continued. Kevin grinned menacingly at Eddy and took his jawbreaker from Chris.

"I only have one jawbreaker left." Chris said. "This must've been a hard decision, a hunk of wood or a con artist." He tentatively waved the last candy above his head. Eddy began to sweat while the inanimate board lied there, as expected. "Two useless cronies, with no special attributes… must've been a touch choice."

"Hey!" Eddy ran up to Chris and grabbed his shirt with fury. "At least I'm alive. That's gotta count for something!"

Chris nodded. "It does, but…" McClain paused for emphasis.

"That's probably the only reason why you're in." He dropped the jawbreaker in Eddy's hand. The boy smirked and returned to seat confidently, completely forgetting he'd almost been kicked off.

"No!" Johnny screamed. "Not Plank!" He gripped his wooden friend with a sad desperation. "Don't take him. What'd he ever do to you?" Chef Hatchet stalked forward and snatched the board from the hippie's hands and threw the object into the pit.

The smiley faced board never hit the ground, as a streak of gold instantaneously kidnapped the falling wood and the lone jawbreaker that lay on the floor of the pit. Johnny screamed in agony as the silhouette of the legendary bird crossed the moon, taking with it food and nest material. Johnny was helpless.

"If you were expecting that, then you're not alone." Chris announced to the camera. "So… what will become of Eddy and Hope's alliance? What will become of Johnny's sanity without Plank? What will happen to Jack's reign over his team? What will I do next to torture this poor group of kids? Find out next time on Total- Drama- Cul-De-Sac!"

Votes:

Johnny: (Eddy)

Eddy: (Kevin)

Kevin: (Eddy)

Marie: (Plank)

Benedict: (Plank)

Hope: (Benedict)

Plank: (N/A)

Rolf: (Plank)

Vote Accumulation:

Plank – 3

Eddy – 2

Kevin – 1

Benedict – 1

Elimination Order

Jimmy, Plank

(I know Heather didn't win in the Canadian version. Personally, I liked it better when she won over Alejandro, so I'm going with that continuity for this story.)

(Also, after reading the story, Total Drama Tween Tour, I've decided to add a voting chart after every chapter. I've added one to the previous chapter, so that's something to go back and see. Finally, I've added more confessionals and various edits to chapters one and two, so you might want to check those out as to get a better feel of the story.)