Chapter 2: The Compromise
The group got off the train, only to be met immediately by Princess Celestia. She saw the cloud of smoke billow out of the car, and saw Twilight, Fluttershy (who had regained consciousness), and Applejack stumbling around like idiots.
"What the hay has gotten into you three?" she queried.
"Her joint," said Lemon Blossom, and she pointed to Crystal, who was walking off the train last, looking at the door like it was the most amazing thing in all of Equestria.
"That explains a lot," the Princess droned. She knew about Crystal's problem ever since Crystal volunteered to help defeat her evil brother, Demonius. She was horribly addicted to all kinds of drugs, and she lashed out when she didn't get them, so the princess gave her immunity to the laws for drug related crime, mostly because she helped fight Demonius. She still had no right to get other ponies high, though.
Crystal just looked at the princess innocently, as though asking for no punishment. Celestia just glared at her. "Thanks to you, Crystal, three of the most important ponies in the Hearth's Warming Eve pageant are higher than the city of Cloudsdale!" the Princess chewed her out. "Now, you'd better find a way to fix this, or it's off to prison and rehab for you, again!"
Crystal had been to rehab around 36 times in 2 years. Obviously, none of them worked. She had just gotten back into the drug life after she got out. But she didn't want to go back to rehab, her withdrawal symptoms are extremely painful, and extremely violent. She was thinking of a way to solve everything, but the THC was getting in the way, and she was also horribly ADHD, and refused to take the medications (well, sort of, because it's basically meth, and she does that all the time). Finally, after about two minutes, Hand Grenade spoke up.
"I have an idea! How about me, Lemon, and Crystal take their places?"
"Because she's higher than the rest of them!" Celestia snapped. She clearly was stressed, because she didn't normally yell at her subjects. "And besides, not to be picky, but we need exactly one of every kind of pony (alicorns excepted)!"
"Hear me out," Hand Grenade continued. "Crystal and I can easily memorize lines, and what we forget, we improvise (and besides, we've seen this, like, a million times, we get the plot). And Crystal's used to functioning while high, because when isn't she? And the solution to the 'need one of each kind of pony'? Hello! I'm an earth pony, Lemon's a unicorn, and Crystal's a pegasus!"
"You do have a point," the Princess said, thinking. She took a minute to make up her mind, but in the end she said: "Well, OK. But I don't want you to mess this up too badly!"
"Thank you, Princess," Hand Grenade bowed his head and regrouped with the rest of the ponies.
"You sure do have a way with words," Lemon whispered to him.
"Well, I, uh, try," Hand Grenade said sheepishly, and blushed. He had a horrible crush on Lemon Blossom, and he thought she didn't know it, when in reality she did. Lemon giggled and kept walking, leaving Hand Grenade thinking and blushing. They walked in silence from then until they got to the pageant hall, where things got a little bit rough.
