We're back to Anna and Mary. I love the friendship between the two. We'll soon discover just what Matthew's big lead is, and hopefully, welcome Sybil and Tom back home soon. Thanks for reading!


"Mrs. Hughes said you needed me, Milady," Anna said as she walked into Lady Mary's room. Lady Mary was sitting at her vanity, working to take down the pins that kept her hair in place

"I did, Anna," Mary said turning around, "but only to talk. I wanted to see how you were fairing."

"Would you like some help?" Anna asked her as she stepped over to the mirror. Before Lady Mary could answer, Anna was already working to release the pins letting Mary's dark hair fall in thick curls down her back.

"Thank you, Anna. Now, how are you holding up?"

Anna focused on her work, she didn't care to think of how she was doing. "I'm as good as can be expected, Milady," she replied purposefully not meeting Mary's gaze in the mirror.

Mary studied Anna in the mirror while she worked. Her eyes were sullen with dark circles underneath suggesting that sleep was something that came neither regularly nor for extended periods of time. Her already petite frame looked sunken, her shoulders slouching forward like they had been carrying a weight far too heavy for far too long.

"Anna," Mary said turning around so that Anna was forced to look her in the eyes. "How are you really doing?"

Anna had refused to break in presence of others. Mrs. Hughes, Lord Grantham, Mr. Carson, and even Lady Edith had prodded to find how Anna was truly managing, but she remained strong in front of them. When she was alone was quite a different story. She prayed for her husband constantly, begging that he be safe and sent home soon.

It seems she should have run out of tears by now, but they still came almost daily. At night, she would often lie in her bed for hours, clutching the letters her husband had sent her, rereading the words he had written, running her fingers over the paper he had touch. It was really all she had left of her husband for now, paper that they both had shared in different places at different times.

On nights when sleep did visit her, she counted it as a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it was a few hours when the pitying stares of others couldn't reach her, but a curse because she often dreamt of John and those dreams would leave her realizing just how absent he was to her now. That emptiness created a void inside her that she wasn't sure would ever refill.

Months of composure had left her tired and worn, and so when Mary, her confidant and friend, had asked how she was truly doing, Anna had no choice to but tell her the truth. "Not so well, Milady," Anna whispered, hoping she could hold her tears at bay.

"Oh, Anna," Mary said as she led her maid to the bed. "I can't imagine how hard this has been on you."

"Not me, Milady," Anna answered, wiping the tears from her cheek. She remembered the way that John would take his calloused thumb and carefully wipe the sadness from her face. "It's John I worry about. It's just not fair he be put through this. He's an innocent man."

"I know Anna," Mary said holding onto Anna's hands. "We're going to prove that innocence, and he'll be back at Downton before you know it."

"I want to believe you and Mr. Crawley," Anna said. "I truly do, but it's difficult."

"I know," Mary said. "But you have to trust Matthew. He's found something to help Mr. Bates. We only have to wait now."

Anna sighed. She had been waiting for years now- waiting for John to confess his love for her, waiting for Vera to agree to divorce him so they could be together, waiting to be married, and now waiting for her husband to be released from a life imprisonment. But, she reminded herself, John was always worth the wait. "Has he told you anything about this lead?" Anna asked, hopeful that Mary would be able to shed more light on the findings and relieve some of Anna's worries.

"No," Mary shook her head. "I've been trying for weeks to get him to tell me something. He's being stubborn."

Anna nodded, realizing it was going to take more blind faith to continue on in hope.

"He believes in it highly, though," Mary told her. "Enough so that he wants to keep it secret so that no information is leaked."

"But I wouldn't leak any information, Milady," Anna said. "I only need more hope to hold onto."

"We know you wouldn't, Anna," Mary answered kindly. She hated that she couldn't give her friend more reassurance or answers. "We just have to hold on, just a little bit longer."

Anna nodded, thankful Lady Mary was home for a while. "How are the wedding plans developing?" She asked her, wanting to think of something other than John for a few minutes.

"They're going well," Mary answered, trying to contain her enthusiasm.

"Have you planned a date yet?"

"No," Mary answered. "Not yet. We're going to wait until Mr. Bates is released. Then we'll decide when the wedding will take place."

Matthew and Mary discussed the date for their wedding almost immediately after arriving in York. Both agreed to wait until John Bates was released from prison. It didn't seem far to have such a celebration without everyone in the house present, and with Matthew working so much on his case, well it wasn't the way they wanted their marriage to begin.

"Milady," Anna protested. "There's no need for that."

"It's already been decided," Mary answered stubbornly.

"Yes, but it could take years," Anna answered. "Or, never happen at all." The thought crushed Anna and she quickly worked to push it to the back of her mind. She couldn't think like that. John needed her to be hopeful.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Mary said. "But let's pray we don't have to."

...

Anna sat on the edge of her bed clutching her new letter from John. The letter had burned in her hands all the way back from the house, and almost as soon as she opened the door to the tiny cottage, she carefully ripped back the envelope and read what her husband had written her.

He mostly wrote of home and missing Downton. His letters gave little away as to his conditions or how he was truly fairing and instead focused on Anna asking her how she was doing, declaring his love to her, telling Anna he missed her.

"Matthew has a new lead," he wrote. "He's confident it will prove my innocence, and that I'll be home soon. We must trust him, Anna. He's working so hard to help me. I feel we owe him our trust even when our situation looks fleeting. And when I return home, I will absolutely never let you out of my arms again."

Anna let a tear roll her cheek and splash onto the paper. It was hard at times to be in the cottage alone without John here, as it was intended as a wedding gift from Lord and Lady Grantham, but her ability to let her emotions flow freely without fear of who was watching made up for the destitution. She didn't have to pretend to be strong here.

She took his stack of letters from her bedside table and added to this one to the pile. She thumbed through the worn papers and wondered how many more letters they would have to write before they could speak to each other freely once again. Some of the letters were longer than others, some would arrive days apart with only the words "I love you" scrawled across the page. But all of them made Anna hold onto to the hope that there would be a morning when she would wake up and see the man that she loved sleeping soundly beside her. Yes, there would be a day when all of this would be remembered as nothing but a bad dream. She only hoped they should both wake up soon.


Thanks for reading! All comments and suggestions are more than welcomed.