Writing Another Episode of Castle
by RGoodfellow64
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Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, I do not own ABC but if I did I'd give Andrew Marlow a bigger budget so he can buy Castle a king size bed.
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Recorded Transcript from the September 25th Associated Writers Group meeting. Attending, James Pekor, Carol Penny, Bryan Toosey, Eddie Richards and William Cockburn.
William Cockburn opened the meeting at 10:30 AM and said, "Before we begin let me first congratulate Carol for being correct."
Carol: "You could put a little less sarcasm in that you know."
James: "Well it's not like you haven't been crowing about it all summer!"
Eddie: "Yeah, the whoooole summer!"
William: "Ok Carol, you were right and we were wrong. They did the deed, and they're a couple now."
Carol: "Aaaaand?"
William: "And there's no such thing as a "Moonlighting Curse."
James: "No, it was from a Mummy."
Bryan: "What was from a Mummy?"
James: "The curse! Don't you remember the episode?"
Eddie: "Probably not, he never watches TV, just writes for it."
Carol: "Oh geez."
William: "People, can we get back on track please? We have a completely new situation with Castle now and we need to come up with some "couple problem" scripts.
James: "Call my wife, she has lots of problems."
Bryan: "Yeah, and they all start with you."
James: "Ok, you're so smart, what do you have?"
Bryan: "Ok, the way I see it, even though they're a couple now they have to hide it from Gates, right?"
Eddie: "Right."
James: "So we have them making out in the breakroom and they get caught!"
William: "Ok, who catches them."
James: "I'm not sure…wait! I've got it! Josh catches them!"
Carol: "Josh? You've got to be kidding."
William: "He just walks in and catches them? Why? How would he even get in if Beckett broke up with him?"
James: "He came to surprise Beckett…he just came back from another doctor thing and realizes that she's the one for him and he wants her back."
Carol: "I don't believe this, I really don't believe this."
James: "This can work! Listen, Josh catches them making out in the breakroom and pulls them apart, somehow Beckett falls and hits her head and when she wakes up, she's forgotten all about Castle and thinks she's still with Josh! Nathan get's to look sad and the fans love that stuff!"
Carol: "Uh, Jim? I don't think…"
James: "Yeah, and since Beckett doesn't remember ever breaking up with Castle, she'll be in even more danger because she won't remember anything about Maddox! She's just happy Josh is there and she hugs him!"
Carol: "But Jim, Maddox is dead."
James: "But Beckett won't remember that!"
Carol: "Oh God."
Eddie: "I'm not sure about that Jim, I mean Josh has been gone since the beginning of season 4."
James: "But that's why it works! The show needs someone for Castle to be jealous about."
Carol: "Jim! No one liked Josh! No one!"
Eddie: "My girlfriend liked him. Well, my ex-girlfriend. She Googled him all the time."
William: "Carol, now that they're together we have to break them up so we can get them back together again."
Carol: "Huh?"
Bryan: "Yeah, I mean if we keep them together what can we write then? This way we have plenty of material."
Eddie: "I don't know guys, I think Carol has a point."
James: "We can keep this going for several episodes guys! Think about it, all the ways that Castle tries to get her back but she stays with Josh."
Bryan: "Or even better, she keeps getting flashbacks from previous episodes with Castle and not Josh."
William: "Hey! That could work! This way Marlow can use scenes from past episodes to fill up the time and it won't cost as much to produce the shows! ABC will love that!"
Carol: "You're kidding, you actually believe they'll be happy you ruin the show?"
James: "Carol, it's all about money. I admit 'After the Storm' was a good episode, not as good as I could have written, but still decent. But ABC pre-empted Castle to show Monday Night Football in a good part of the country, and it was all about money."
William: "Ok folks, we've gotten off topic here, we're working on scripts we can send to Castle. Jim, you have anything else?"
James: "Well, we fill in the rest of the episode with some scenes of a body, talking to suspects and throw in Lanie and Esposito being worried about Kate and that's a full show."
Bryan: "That will work because then when Beckett goes home she'll find some of Castle's clothes and wonder how they got there!"
Eddie: "And then Josh can get upset and that makes Beckett feel bad and want to make him feel loved and hey, we can make Josh get a job with the NYPD!"
Carol: "I'm going to be sick."
James: "You're not contagious, are you?"
Carol: "No, but whatever it is you guys have seems to be!"
Bryan: "Ok, we've got Josh coming back and Beckett forgetting about Castle. You know, to make Castle even sadder we can have Josh smirk at him or something like that."
James: "Sure…or…wait, Josh knows exactly what's going on and takes full advantage of it!"
William: "And since Castle and Beckett kept their relationship a secret from everyone, Castle can't prove they were ever together! That's a great idea! Then Nathan can make Castle look sad and the fans will love it and the ratings will skyrocket!"
Carol: "Maybe this is just a bad dream and I can force myself awake."
Eddie: "This is good guys, this is real good."
Carol: "Wake up, come on wake up!"
William: "Carol, just what is your problem?"
Carol: "This is a nightmare! William, no one likes Josh. The fans hated him and were really upset that he was still around at the start of season 4! Fans have been waiting for four years now for Castle and Beckett to get together, and you want to break them up when they just get started? And with Josh? This has to be a bad dream."
William: "Carol, this is a great idea! No one will have a clue that Josh is back till he shows up. All we need to do is flesh out the script with all sorts of cop stuff and send it in."
James: "Ok, Bill, I'll get working on it. With a little help we can get it written in a couple of days and then submit it."
Carol: "Wake up! Come on, wake up!"
William: "Carol, try to keep in focus here. We have the idea for a terrific script that will completely turn the series on its head. Jim can use a little help in fleshing it out."
Carol: "Maybe Josh was bitten by an iridescent bug with a terrible disease when he was in Africa or Asia or someplace. Yeah, a green iridescent bug with a jagged red stripe on its side and once bitten his hair falls out and his peck…I mean his private parts shrivel up and fall off."
James: "What? Are you crazy?"
William: "You may have something there Carol, because when he gets sick Beckett feels the need to nurse him back to health and maybe have a new peck…I mean have some sort of transplant. This could work for almost half the season!"
James: "But does it have to fall off? I don't know if I can write something like that."
Carol: "Don't worry Jim, I'll have no trouble writing those scenes."
Eddie: "That's a real nasty smile you have there Carol."
Carol: "It is? I don't know why you'd think so Eddie, I just want to help the men on my team."
Eddie: "Real nasty."
William: "Ok boys and girl, let's get going then. We have a lot to do if we want to get this out to Marlow and ABC by the end of the week!"
Meeting adjourned at 11:55am, after which some mixed and muted conversation was heard, the only part that was clear was William saying, "That's really a disturbing smile Carol."
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Authors Note: Honestly, I have no idea where this came from. I was working on chapter 28 of IFP and suddenly this came to me. I know I'm really, really late with it, but it isn't my fault, blame my muse, I'm already getting enough flak from my family.
