A

A/N: Prompt from 30 Day Challenge on tumblr. There is A LOT of angst in this, okay? I JUST HAVE ALL THESE FEELS.

Anyways, SPOILER ALERT.

Enjoy:


Transformation –

"He wasn't even the same person. You changed him, John."

"I..." John can't bring himself to say anything else, because he doesn't know what to say. He's not even feeling right now, he's numb to the bone, because when he's finally slightly out of the state of shock he'd been in for a year and a half, the man in front of him kidnaps him and tells him these things – these oh so important things that John really really doesn't want to know.

"You really did, you know. For the longest time I was under the impression he was a robot. An automaton, maybe." Mycroft chuckles, and John can't even begin to wonder how he's okay. He's lost a brother, and John's more upset about it than he is. " Ah, but you softened him up. You made him... somewhat human, at least."

John nods. "Can we... uh... can we not talk about this?"

Mycroft looks at him, a long look that lasts for a while. "Hm." he hummed, not a yes or no. His eyes still looked at John, and though they were obviously analyzing him, it wasn't the same.

Mycroft turns away, and John takes this as a sign that he's allowed to leave. He turns as well, getting ready to head for the car, but Mycroft calls him back with one more question: "How did you do it?"

"Do what?" he asks calmly, not turning around even when he feels the older man's eyes burn holes in the back of his blonde head.

"Change Sherlock. There must be a reason behind this sudden transformation – and that reason must be something to do with you. But you're ordinary, as he would have said. There is nothing particularly special about you."

At this, John's eyes close. There's a laugh, echoing in his head. There's always the voice, the memory. And instead of reliving it, like he usually does, he pushes it back. He needs to tell Mycroft just exactly who Sherlock Holmes was.

"Maybe I did change him, and maybe I didn't, Mycroft. Maybe the human was always there, but you just didn't take the time to unlock it. I know next to nothing of Sherlock's life, besides that which we shared. But I know Sherlock wasn't a psychopath. He wasn't even a sociopath. He was a brilliant, brilliant minded man." John swallows, throat tight, but he doesn't cry. "Sometimes it takes a conductor for light to shine. Or so I've been told."

Mycroft looks confused, but John doesn't see it as he walks away, pulling open the door and slumping into the car. "Take me home." he tells the girl beside him.

She doesn't answer, typing away at her phone.

He doesn't care. Because they are all caught up on his transformation from ice to human. He's too busy remembering the change from life to death.

He hold in the watery sigh until the door of 221B is shut behind his back.

"You're a fool. A liar, a fool, and a cold-hearted coward."

"I can't... bring John into this again, Mycroft. I can't."

"You could. It would hurt him less."

"Not if he died." There's a slight lowering in the straight and regal shoulders, and a nearly soundless sigh.

"Are you so sure about that? Oh, dear brother, you don't understand. You still don't understand."

"Tell him, Sherlock. Show him. He wants you back. He never cared if there was danger."

"But this is diff-"

"No, it isn't."