A/N: This was another prompt from my 30 Day Challenge on tumblr. You guys should all go follow me if you have one.

Anyways, enjoy this incredibly stupid thing.


Denial -

"But you were dead."

"I was not."

"Yes you were. Stop denying it,we saw you're body. Dead."

"No I wasn't. People don't just jump start back into life, Tony."

"On the contrary-"

"You don't count, Tony." Bruce piped up.

"Tony, I really think you should just leave Agent Coulson alone." Steve said, though he was staring at the returned agent in utter disbelief.

"Thank you, Captain Rogers." Phil Coulson – recently dead, but apparently not as dead as everyone thought – turned the mask that was his face when talking to Tony into a smile as he turned his head.

Steve nodded and there was an awkward period of awkward hesitance in which Clint stood a little too close to the revived agent, Natasha looked vaguely amused, Tony looked angry, Thor ate a Poptart in a happy sort of quiet, and Bruce hummed and fiddled with a pencil.

"Ah, one question. Does anyone know what happened to my cards? They were not in my locker when I … returned." he asked, looking around coolly.

"Locker?" Tony leaned back and quirked a eyebrow.

"We were told they were in your pocket." Steve added.

"Fury." Clint spoke up helpfully.

Coulson's eyes narrowed. "Fury...?"

Fury chose that moment to walk in, as if summoned by the sound of his name. "Agent Coulson." he nodded. "Avengers." this greeting was a bit sharper in tone, but not outright angry yet.

"Hey Boss? Phil want's to know about his cards." Clint looked amused by this. Tony brushed past him and money switched hands.

"Cards?" Fury turned his eye on the two agents, hands clasped behind his back. "You're cards were used in the way we spoke of before you're untimely demise, Agent." he said smoothly. Coulson's eyebrow twitched, as though he was refraining from arching it.

"I am afraid I do not understand." Coulson stated.

"I took them from the pocket of your jacket and showed them to the team. They looked to you as a martyr. Got them going."

"You lied to us?"

"And look how everything turned out. Just peachy, right? Bad guy's locked up, New York's safe." Fury met Steve's unhappy eyes with his own.

"That's all perfectly acceptable, sir, but if I may have them back? Captain Rogers has promised a signature."

Tony shot Steve a look that clearly read, Kiss Up. While Steve made a face back at him.

"Of course you can have them back, Agent. We'll get 'em cleaned up." Fury waved one of the lower-ranked S.H.I.E.L.D officers off and they dashed away.

"Cleaned, sir?"

"It was necessary to make them believe that you had them on your person." Fury said calmly, not at all fazed by the cold that had begun radiating from the no longer deceased Agent.

Clint grinned at Tony. Tony smirked back and crossed his legs.

"Blood. You put blood. On my vintage Captain America cards."

"We did, Agent. Is there a problem?"

Coulson breathed through his nose. He was not about to lose his job. He was not. He would not strike Director Fury. Not over Captain America trading cards. Composure sleek as ever, Coulson forced a smile. "Of course not, boss. As long as everything turns out alright."

"'s what I thought." Fury nodded, and looked around. "No get out there, you idiots. Stop taking up air in my helicarrier."

He left the room.

Tony hissed and Clint grinned triumphantly. Coulson turned his eyes on the two. "What was the bet?"

"He was hoping you'd hit Fury." Clint laughed.

"I would never attack the Director."

"Not even over Steve-y-kins?" Tony taunted, tugging on the tight sleeve of Steve's jacket. Steve flushed and shrugged him off, but didn't say anything. Bruce chuckled and swung his leg from where he'd taken a seat on the edge of the table beside Tony.

"Of course not, Mister Stark." Coulson said coldly. "I am not as foolish as you."

Tony snorted. "Don't deny it, Agent. You wanted to kick the old pirate right between the legs."

"Self-control, Mister Stark." Coulson shook his head.

"I reject that. Life's more fun with none."

"I see. Agent Barton, if you will escort me to the weapons room. I've just received a message that they are holding my possessions there."

"I'll be here when you get your cards to sign them, sir." Steve called out after them. And Coulson pretended nothing had happened when he gave a little bounce of glee.