"Who can tell me what this is?" Professor Slughorn said, his contagious smile turning to each student as he waited for an answer.
His gaze landed on Lily more than once but she was to dazed to notice. She was furiously writing down different lines on a piece of parchment that was under the table. It contained multiple ways of saying hello but all of them sounded fake and nothing like what she herself would say.
After hastily scribbling out "you're looking well", she noticed the silence around her. She snapped her head up and noticed what Professor Slughorn was holding in his hand. Seeing he was still waiting for an answer she raised her hand which was accompanied by multiple whistles and cat calls from James and his friends.
A smile never touched her face as she recited, "Gillyweed", in an extremely monotone voice.
Professor Slughorn was positively beaming at her, acting as if she had saved the world instead of answering a question that anybody else could have, should have, known.
After making sure his lecture was well underway, Lily returned to her list. So far she had:
Hi
How are you?
Could we talk
I know you might not want to but
I need to talk to you
Hi Sev
You're looking well
Great, you're going to sound absolutely pathetic. Just like a 1st year. She thought as she reluctantly tapped the paper with her wand, causing it to scroll its self and flutter down into her bag.
Mustering what little concentration she could, she focused back into Slughorn's lesson.
10 minutes later
"Alright class, now don't forget your homework. One whole scroll on the effects of Gillyweed please."
Lily felt her stomach constrict as she shot out of her seat, gathering her items as quickly as she could. She knew that she would lose her reserve to talk to Severus about rekindling their friendship if she hesitated even on second. Swallowing down her anxiety she started walking in a bee line towards him, though she did slow a bit when she saw all the other slytherin around him. The only thing that kept her going was the fact that he looked over and made eye contact with her.
She didn't know wither to smile or wave and instead, she just kept walking to him. She was just close enough that some of his friends were turning to look at the wandering gryffindor when an arm caught hers, spinning her around. She was looking into the face of her tragically handsome boyfriend who at that moment she really wanted to slap. Snatching herself from his grasp she turned, only to find Severus, and every other slytherin in the room, gone.
"Geez Lily, you're being a bit or a prude." Remus said, stuffing another mouth full turkey into his mouth, grabbing the glass of pumpkin juice beside him to wash it down with. Lily's eyes flamed and he immediately fell silent. She had been in a foul mood since James and grasped her away from the one moment of courage she had managed in Potions. She was still stewing over the fact that she probably wouldn't be talking to Severus ever again and the thought sent a small tingle into her heart. Not quite as bad as the knife feeling but close to it.
She jumped a little as someone gently rubbed her knee, causing her to derail her depressing train of thought. James was looking at her, really looking at her and it took her off guard. She was used to the teasing James, the prankster and even the sometimes lusty James but she very seldom got the chance to see him be sensitive. He was still stroking her knee, in a comforting way, as he said "Lil, are you ok? I know the cat calls were a bit immature but I didn't think you would..." Lily smiled, placing her tiny finger against his lips to quiet him. "It wasn't the cat calls. It's something…else. Stupid really, I'm acting like a prude, to use Remus's term." Remus chocked on his juice but laughed along with her and the rest of their small group.
James's eye's became warm again and his posture relaxed as he placed an arm around her shoulder's. For a moment, she forgot the dream, the stupid list, and him. She nestled into James warm figure and placed her hand over his, still placed on her knee. Honestly, why should she care about Severus? She had James, someone who she loved and a group of friends that would never call her a Mudblood. Ever. She didn't need him.
Yet she still had the tingly feeling when they left dinner and she saw he wasn't sitting at the slytherin table.
