George Lucas is still rich. The Darth Vader kid is still dead.

Sorry if this chapter is a little weird. I'm not feeling like myself atm....

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"Hey, Armas." A cute human guy walks over to our desk in electronic theory class after class is over. I roll my eyes, but Armas leans forward and smiles at him.

"Hi, Brice," she says in a sultry voice.

"Your spots are beautiful, Armas." He reaches out to touch the ones on her neck. "I wonder…" His face has 'I want sex' written all over it. "…are they everywhere on your body?"

I scoff. "Oh God! That is the worst pick-up line ever!" Brice gives me a look like, 'When did you get here and when are you leaving?'

Armas giggles seductively. "Why don't you come over to my room and find out."

I pretend to look over my notes as they set up a date for the 'spot analysis.'

After he leaves, Armas looks over at me with a sigh. "Grace, you could get guys if you didn't act like that around them."

"I'm sorry," I say with a smile. "I only date guys with brains." And pointy ears.

"Brice has brains," she defends.

"Mmhmm, sure he does. I bet it took him two hours to come up with that line he fed you." I pick up my book bag and start for the door. "Besides, almost every guy here uses that one on you. I bet they're all experts in Trillian spots by now."

She sticks her tongue out at me. "I don't sleep with that many guys. Besides, half of them think you're hot too."

"Great. So while they're fucking you, they imagine me? That's just disgusting, Armas." I tug on my skirt's hem. My legs feel so exposed in this stupid uniform.

"I was being sarcastic. You know, that thing you do all the time?"

I turn and walk backwards. "You? Sarcastic?" I gasp in mock surprise.

"Grace!" she shouts at me. Two seconds later, I run into something and me and a stack of papers go flying.

My thought process goes in three steps:

1. Stupid clunky shoes!

2. Man, whoever I ran into hasn't heard of folders.

3. Mmm, pointy ears- OH MY GOD IT'S SPOCK AND MY UNDERWEAR IS SHOWING!!

Somehow, I landed on him and when I sit up to move off of him, I'm straddling his waist in a very compromising position, considering my skirt has been pushed up and he can now see that I'm wearing hot pink panties. My face starts matching my underwear and I scramble to get up. He has the same idea, so I end up tripping over Spock's legs and bring both of us back down. Armas is laughing her ass off against the opposite wall, which makes my face get even redder.

Spock looks normal. The ass.

"Perhaps it would be prudent for me to get up first and assist you?"

I clear my throat. "Good plan." I roll off and he helps me up. Armas is still laughing, and gasping for breath. I shoot her a look while I adjust my skirt.

"Cadet Fairgrass," Spock says with a twinge of a smile. "Do you always practice such dramatic entrances?"

"Eh heh." Fake laugh. "I never practice. I'm just that awesome." He bends down to collect his papers. "I'd offer to help, but umm…I think the world has seen enough of my underwear for today." He says something under his breath that I don't catch, but his ears wiggle when he says it, so I'll take it as a good sign.

Armas, who is still shaking with mirth, walks over and gives Spock a look like, 'You naughty boy.' Boy, he is not. Boys are not as hot, and don't have as much in front- oh God quit looking at his pants. Bad Grace, bad.

Spock straightens and sticks his stack of papers under his arm, then gives Armas a look that says he wants to be alone with me. Glory hallelujah!

"Oh, sorry Commander. I'll just go now." Armas walks away, and while inspecting Spock's back, very animatedly shows that she approves of his ass. She mouths, 'I'd tap that,' while pretending to squeeze each cheek.

I choke back a laugh. Spock purses his lips and cocks his head to the side in question. Sorry, hottie. Not explaining that one.

"I trust I find you well, Cadet Fairgrass?"

"Well, I just got out of ICU for a common cold. It was touch and go there for a while." He stares at me, perplexed, no doubt thinking I'm an idiot. "Joke." No response. "Oh come on! They have to tell jokes on Vulcan sometimes, right?"

"Regrettably, I am unfamiliar with earth humor. However, I am open to being versed on the subject whenever you have the time."

Wow. That's a new one. "You want me to teach you how to tell jokes?"

"It is one part of human nature I have yet to master, even though my mother is human."

"You're part human? I had no idea!" Hmm. I wonder what size a half-Vulcan half-human penis would be. OH MY GOD! Turn off the brain, Grace! Off!

He starts walking down the hall, so I follow. "Yes. It is not very common knowledge, but it is a part of myself that I am exceedingly proud of."

"I wouldn't have guessed. Especially with ears like those…" Drool gathers in my mouth.

"Pardon?"

I almost swallow my tongue when I realize what I just said. I hastily change the subject.

"So, humor. You'll have to start with the most basic jokes." He accepts my change of topic, but I can tell to my horror that he heard what I said. "Alrighty. Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"Chicken?" he asks, clearly confused that a joke would involve a chicken.

I try not to laugh. "Yes, chicken. Do you know why he crossed the road?"

"I must confess that the reason escapes me." God, he looks so hot when he's perplexed.

"To get away from the bassoon recital!" I laugh, a tad bit over animatedly, just to show him that it was a funny joke.

He tilts his head, processing the joke, and keeps walking. "I was unaware that chickens attended bassoon recitals. The idea does not have much logic."

I sigh with a smile. "Jokes don't have logic, Commander. They're usually so stupid that you laugh at how much they don't make sense."

His almost smile is back. "An interesting notion. Jokes would not be accepted on Vulcan, simply due to their being illogical."

"Intense logic can take away from the enjoyment of life." I kick the wall slightly as I pass it, just to take away some of my tension. Now we're talking about our views on life? And all this from a joke about a chicken.

"Perhaps. That all depends on what your enjoyment of life entails." He fiddles with his papers. Is he feeling how weird this is too?

I jump ahead and walk backwards so I can face him. "I enjoy smiling and laughing. And if I had to spend all of my time being logical and none of it laughing, I think I'd be a very unhappy person."

His face turns slightly serious. "So you view all Vulcans as being unhappy simply because they do not smile or laugh?"

I shake my head and say no before he thinks me impertinent. "If a Vulcan purges all emotion and embraces logic, then he must be content with what he does." Spock nods in agreement. "Unless…." He stops and looks up at me in confusion. "Unless he does it because it is expected and not what he truly wants."

He gives me his analytical look. "How can you presume so much about a people that you are not a part of?"

I shrug. "All I know is what I see when I look at you, Commander." Ugh. This is SO not where I wanted this to go. Must end awkwardness. "Well, it's almost dinner." And it's not Wednesday, yay!

He nods. "We will talk on this again, Cadet." He walks away leaving me a nice view of his ass.

Whoopee, a repeat of me sounding like an idiot. This ought to be interesting.

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