Big Band: Ninja Style!

by: muaaimoi

It's the cookies that do him in.

He hadn't known to be weary. Civilian grandmothers are not people shinobi, let alone experienced Jounin like Kakashi, should be watching out for. He had walked in with his genin team. They had gone through introductions, and Sheldon's grandmother had been completely affable. She had invited them in, sat them down and produced the best tasting chocolate chip cookies Kakashi had ever had. They had been absolutely divine.

And when Miss Cooper had told the children to go play outside, as the adults had certain things to discuss. Kakashi had been about to protest that they should get going when he realized, to his ever growing horror, that he couldn't move.

At all.

When his genin looked at him for permission, he couldn't so much as twitch. They seemed to take the complete lack of movement as approval, and left him all alone.

With a civilian grandmother that had easily incapacitated him with cookies that had apparently completely unaffected his genin.

"I do hope you liked the cookies Hatake-san." Mrs. Cooper said with a wrinkled smile. " It's a very old family recipe. The coopers have a long history of being merchants of all kinds, Sheldon is the only shinobi we've ever had. We're all quite worried about my grandson, you understand. Brilliant, there's no doubt about it, and we're all so very proud. But of course one worries."

The little old lady served herself some tea, grabbing one of the poisoned cookies on his plate and taking a bite. She seemed utterly unaffected by them. Kakashi didn't know how, he had quite the tolerance built against poisons over years in the field, it took a really potent brew to affect him, but this civillian had either taken the antidote or had complete immunity.

" But I suppose you do not want to hear an old lady ramble on about her grandson. Let me be very clear then, Hatake-san. I do not wish to visit my grandson in the hospital, or be forced to lay flowers on an early grave. If I ever do, sensei, I better have to visit you're grave site as well, as if I do not, I will place you in it myself. Am I understood?"

Kakashi nearly cried in relief when the paralysis began to ware off. He could barely twitch his fingers, but he managed to nod. Something told him his chances of surviving the day would go down drastically if he didn't.

" Very good, more tea Hatake-san? I'll call the children in soon."

Kakashi coughed, his throat convulsing as he forced is to work.

" N-No". He paused to wheeze," N-need."

He ran out the second his legs could move, completely freaked out. He needed a drink so badly it hurt.

xXx

" Hey, Me-maw wheres, Kakashi-sensei? " Sheldon asked.

" Oh your sensei must have quite a drinking habit, he had something of an allergic reaction to the cookies." His grandmother replied with a peaceful smile.

The boy's nodded their acceptance of this easily, but Penny shot her a knowing smile. She'd had an 'allergic' reaction to the cookies when Sheldon had brought her around too. You did not fuck with mew-maws family. Anyone on Konoha could tell you that. kakashi-sensei was just a little late finding out was all.

xXx

Gah! This was hard, I have no words, Writing for this story has gotten ridiculously tough, I'm really sorry, I don't want to put it on hiatus but i really have no idea when I'll post for it next.