A/N: Yes I know I've been horrible with the updates. But enjoy this random burst of inspiration I got at four in the morning, and let's hope it lasts.


She becomes accustomed to Beth standing on her porch at 3.30 every afternoon for the next three days, with her bright eyes and her dishevelled braid hanging loosely behind her as the little girl greets her with a quick "hello" and "I just had the best idea last night!". Finn keeps telling her to just say the word when she needs him to pick his daughter up, but she honestly finds the company refreshing, and enjoys having the younger girl around while she's out shopping for party supplies. So Beth ends up staying past dinner every night, falling asleep on the couch by the time Finn comes around to pick her up.

Whatever it is she has with him, it's going nowhere, other than a shy "hello" and a few polite words while he's literally picking Beth up off the couch. She always has leftovers packed and ready. Beth always returns her tupperwares, washed and dried, the next day. It's finally on Thursday that she plucks up the courage to invite him over for dinner the next day.

"Unless, you know, you're busy," she finishes quickly at the frown on his face. He's standing at the door of his truck, Beth buckled and bundled up carefully in the passenger seat, and she's wishing that there is something else she could hide behind other than the bag of leftovers in her hand.

"I don't want to intrude. I mean, even Beth, I just- I wouldn't have let her you know, stay over, if she isn't so insistent about it, and you weren't-

"I love having her around," she admits, cutting him off. He looks a little surprised by her admission and she smiles, shrugging. "It's kind of like having a little sister, I guess. Besides, I'm almost convinced my fathers have a new shining star these days. Daddy in particular, finds Beth's ability to burp out the alphabet to be the most endearing thing on earth."

"Oh my God," Finn says, horrified, slapping a hand to his forehead. "She didn't."

"She definitely did," Rachel answers, laughing. "Apparently it's a competition in your household?"

"Well really, it was Puck who started it. But she's catching up," he answers proudly. He shakes his head. "Mom will kill me if she knows what I've done to her granddaughter. She's already harping on me about getting her more dresses. But I mean really, what do I know about dresses? And she won't even wear them anyway and-"

He stops, shooting her an embarrassed grin.

"Sorry."

She shakes her head earnestly, smiling up at him.

"Don't be."

He grins down at her, leaning back against his truck. She can't read the expression on his face, can't tell exactly what it is that he's thinking right now as she stands in front of him, wrapping her arms around herself.

"So come on Finn," she says, breaking the silence. "We're making mac and cheese."

"That's-"

"Beth's favourite, I know. She requested it."

He groans, shaking his head as he chuckles.

"That girl is shameless. I don't know where she gets it from."

"But you wouldn't have it any other way," she answers, smiling.

"No," he says quietly, that unreadable expression back on his face as he scrutinizes her. "I wouldn't."

He straightens up, turning towards his truck as he takes the bag from her.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" he asks, a crooked smile on his face.

"Tomorrow," she echoes with a smile. She could swear that her fingers are still tingling from when he brushed against them.

Xxx

Beth is conscientious and critical, and the way she quietly goes through Rachel's entire list reminds her of Quinn. If she looks at her from just the right angle, Rachel can see her old adversary in front of her, embodied in her eleven-year-old daughter, and it's a little daunting trying to get used to it.

But there are also parts of her that is all Finn, not physically, but little things like how her eyes light up when Rachel comes through to the living room with a snack, or how "awesome" seems to be her go-to word for everything that she finds indescribable. She sees Finn in Beth's clumsy braids and her carefree smile and the kindness in the young girl's warm green eyes, so similar and yet so different from Quinn's.

"You know, you're very organized," she tells Beth as they share a plate of cookies. It's meant to be a compliment. That's complimentary, right? "I'm very impressed."

Beth shrugs, but she blushes and smiles into her cookie.

"Mom used to have this list she'd put up on the fridge, with like chores and play dates and stuff, 'cause she said that it'll help us keep things in perspective or something, and I guess I kinda got used to it. I mean, after she was gone, dad was kinda bad at keeping up with all the schedules, so I tried to help him out with it, and now it's just easier for me," Beth finishes, shrugging. It still takes Rachel by surprise to see her mentioning Quinn in such a… cavalier manner, but she figures Beth had about three years to get used to it. It's still brand new information for her.

"Yeah, Finn never had much organizational skills," she answers ruefully, grinning.

"You and dad were really good friends huh?"

"What makes you say that?" Rachel asks nonchalantly, turning over another page of the magazine in front of her while Beth munches on her sandwich. Beth shrugs.

"There are pictures of you, you know, at home. I mean you and a bunch of other people. But mom used to talk about you."

"Quinn?" she asks, surprised.

"Yeah, I mean, sometimes she used to talk to dad, like, she wondered what happened to you, and what you were doing and stuff. I mean, she mentioned you sometimes. Rachel Berry. I remembered your name 'cause of the fruit."

"You remember a lot, don't you?" Rachel asks, slightly taken aback by the information and the nonchalant way it was offered to her.

"Yeah. Dad says I'm the smartest person he knows," Beth answers proudly.

"I think you must be."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I was good friends with your dad, and Finn's not a liar, so that must be true."

Beth blushes before she briskly begins crossing the items of Rachel's list while she sits back, still overwhelmed. She wonders what it could mean, wonders if the fact that his daughter even knows about her means anything.

Xxx

She's nervous.

Beth is in the kitchen with Hiram, laughing as her daddy teaches the young girl an old Sinatra number while they toss the salad. Her dad's upstairs, changing out of his office attire, and she's setting the table, eyes occasionally straying up towards the small clock on the mantelpiece, counting down the minutes until he arrives.

She's surreptitiously changed three different times before she realizes how ridiculous she's being.

You're Rachel Berry, she reminds herself. You're twenty six years old, and you're a successful Broadway star, and an old childhood friend coming over for dinner should not affect you this way.

Except for the fact that 'old childhood friend' was never a term that quite fitted Finn Hudson in her life. Nothing ever defined him really. He was more than a crush, more than a friend. He used to mean more to her than anyone else, but they never really were anything together. They couldn't be. One thing she knew for certain is that he was always less than what she'd hoped he could be. Her biggest could have been.

"What if things had been different Rach? Do you ever think about that?"

She pushes those words away, trying to forget the look on his face that night, the one that keeps recurring in her dreams when she least expects it.

The sound of the doorbell startles her, and she makes a beeline for the door, the cutlery in hand forgotten as she throws it open. He has his back towards her, and when he turns, she thinks that for a second she catches the hesitation on his face before it gives way to a smile. She notices that his hair is damp. He must have taken a shower. He's in a button-down shirt and jeans, and she's pretty sure he must have ran home first, because he's usually always in a t-shirt or his coveralls. He looks nice. Her face burns when she realizes that she's checking him out. She looks up at him, finding a small smile on his face.

"Hi," he says quietly.

"Hi," she smiles. He clears his throat as they continue to stare at each other, shaking his head before he brings up his right hand, holding out a bottle of wine.

"I figured I shouldn't come here empty handed."

"Thank you," she murmurs, taking the bottle from him. He shrugs, one hand in his pocket as he stands awkwardly by the door.

"Beth told me to get flowers, but I figured this would fit better with a meal."

"Perfectly," she agrees, blushing at the thought of him showing up with a bouquet of flowers. God, what is wrong with her?

He clears his throat again, and she remembers her manners, shuffling to the side.

"Come in," she tells him. He nods, and she presses herself against the door as he steps in.

"You look nice," he tells her as she closes the door. She looks down at the yellow sundress she has on, and she's glad she chose this over the more casual blouse and skirt she had on earlier.

She turns around, about to thank him, when Beth comes barrelling through the doorway, jumping on Finn as he chuckles, staggering a little by the surprise tackle.

"Hey there Drizzle," he greets his daughter affectionately.

"Dad, you should see what Hiram taught me to do," she answers excitedly, ignoring him as she pulls on his hand. "Look at the napkins, he taught me how to fold them so they look like swans. Isn't that like, the most awesome thing ever?"

"Totally awesome," he answers, chuckling as he allows himself to be pulled along. He turns to mouth an apology as he is being dragged away and she waves him off.

"C'mon Rachel," Beth calls. She grins, trailing after them.

Xxx

She's been staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours, her thoughts running a hundred miles per second as she tries to make sense of what's happening. It still feels a little surreal in a way. She didn't come home a month ago expecting this. She doesn't know how to feel. Well, she knows how she's supposed to feel. She's supposed to be happy for him, for them. But as always, there's just a selfish part of her that she never could shake off. How can she be happy for them when every second closer cuts an even deeper tear into her heart?

She's so consumed by her own thoughts, she barely notices the sound of the pebbles hitting her window pane. She frowns when it breaks through her train of thoughts, looking cautiously towards her window when she hears it again. Rachel turns to look at the clock. It's almost midnight. Warily, she sits up in bed, snuggling her feet into her bedroom slippers before she shuffles her way to the edge of the room.

A figure is standing on the ground with his hands in his pockets, the hood of his jacket hiding his face as he looks up. But she'd recognize him anywhere.

"Finn?" she calls out in confusion as she slides her window up. She lowers her voice to a hiss, pushing half her body out the window as she strains to look at him. "What are you doing here?" He lowers his hoodie, and in the dark, she can barely make out that quiet smile on his face.

"Hey Rach," he calls out quietly. He doesn't say anything else, but she knows he's waiting for her when he keeps standing there, his eyes never leaving hers. She sighs, pulling her body back in as she rushes to pick up her bathrobe, shrugging it on as she tries to make it downstairs as quietly as she can. Her heart is pounding furiously while she imagines a million different scenarios too wishful to ever happen. One particular dream that she could never shake off for years is of him pulling her into his arms to declare his affections. She takes the time to roll her eyes before she opens the front door. At twenty one years old, she really needs to start thinking more sensibly.

She's startled to find him already standing on her porch, and before she could say another word, she's in his arms, his arms winding tightly over her waist as he crushes her to him. She stands frozen in place, the heat of his body and the way his cheek presses against her ear immobilizing her. He shifts, moving his head so that his jaw rests on her head, and it snaps her out of the moment. Quietly, she moves her arms from her sides to snake around his back.

"We're twenty one Finn. I think the time for throwing pebbles at my window has passed about two years ago, don't you? What are you doing here?" she mumbles into his chest. Rachel turns, pressing her ear against him. She can hear his heart, and it's beating almost as fast as her own.

"I don't know," he answers quietly. "I just- My mind can't shut down."

Her fingers twist into the back of his hoodie as she closes her eyes. One second. All she needs is just one second to pretend like this is what she wants it to be. She must have imagined his lips ghosting over the top of her head, because he's already pulling away, his arms on her shoulder as he sighs, looking down at her. She smiles quietly up at him.

"It's a big day tomorrow. Or actually, in a few hours."

"Yeah."

"You need to be in bed mister. We can't have the groom showing up to his own wedding with bags under his eyes," she continues in a teasing voice. He doesn't even try to smile. She frowns, reaching up to touch his arm. "You okay?"

"I can't sleep," he confesses. She nods her head knowingly. He releases her, sighing as he moves to her front steps, sitting down on the top step.

"Nervous?" she asks, sitting next to him. She feels the heat of his body warming her, feels that tear in her heart deepening just a little bit more while she keeps on pretending that everything is fine. She keeps on pretending that she's happy for him, because he's her bestfriend, and that's her job. Finn turns to look at her, leaning down slightly to look her in the eye, a peculiar expression on his face.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" he asks quietly. She starts, forcing an unassuming look to fall over her expression.

"What do you mean?"

"Getting married tomorrow. Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

"You know I can't answer that for you."

"But what do you think?" he persists. She sighs, looking away out into the empty street. She notices his truck parked out at the curb. There are so many words she has kept bottled up for so many years, and with the way he's looking at her right now, it would be so easy for her to just spill them out.

I think it's wrong. I think telling me that you're getting married the moment I arrived on your front step a month ago was a really mean thing to do. I think Quinn won't make you happy. I can make you happy. Be with me. Leave everything and come with me.

He's staring at her like the weight of her words mean everything, and she wonders what would happen if she lets them out, but they're caught in her throat.

"Where's Beth tonight?" she ends up asking. She sees the change in his eyes, the way they seem to clear up in an instant at her question. She thinks she sees a little bit of regret in them, but she can never be sure.

"She's with mom tonight."

"She must be so excited." He chuckles quietly, turning away from her.

"She is. She keeps sneaking into our closet to put her flower girl dress on. Quinn ended up putting it on the top shelf so she couldn't reach it. She keeps saying that we're going to be a real family soon, like we weren't before."

She tries to laugh, but she chokes on a sob and turns away immediately, discreetly wiping her tears against the sleeve of her robe.

"She's growing up so fast Finn," she murmurs. "The last time I saw her, she was just a tiny little thing, and now she's almost as tall as me."

"Not quite yet."

"That must be the Hudson gene," she teases, nudging him. He smiles, but it doesn't seem to reach his eyes.

"She wants this, more than anything in the world," he says quietly. She feels the tear in her chest rip right on through as she watches him. This is it. It's really happening.

"Then how can it be wrong, right?" she says warmly out loud. He nods next to her, putting an arm around her to pull her close to him. She listens as he takes a deep breath, closing her eyes as she pretends for one second that he's holding her close for a different reason.

"Thank you."

"I didn't do anything."

She turns towards him, intending to smile, not noticing that he's leaning down to kiss her cheek. He misses, and catches the side of her mouth instead. She gasps, frozen as she feels his body stiffening. He pulls away, painfully slow, and her lips burn as their eyes meet. His face is unreadable, in the moonlight.

"Sorry," he whispers. She can still feel his breath on her face. She shakes her head just slightly, trying to tell him that it's fine. She can pretend it never happened.

They're both good at that.

xxx

"Rachel?"

She snaps out of her thoughts, and almost drops the tray she's holding when an older, real version of Finn stands before her.

"You okay?" he asks, worried as he walks closer towards her. She shakes her head rapidly.

"I'm fine. I just- I was just thinking," she says sheepishly. He nods, smiling down at her. She feels his fingers grazing against hers as he takes hold of the tray.

"I've got it," she mumbles quietly.

"Your dad was wondering what took so long. I told him I'll help you out, so I gotta carry this," he says easily, pulling it away from her.

"I was just waiting for the pie to set," she murmurs as they fall into step, slowly walking out the kitchen doorway.

"And thinking too, while you were at it." His voice is teasing, and when she looks up, she catches the smirk on his face. She grins, poking him playfully in the arm.

"Shut up."

Xxx

Dinner is relatively successful, even if she is saying it so herself. She's learned that Beth makes a mean mac and cheese ("It's dad's secret recipe. He uses three kinds of cheese, which makes it awesome". Finn's face colored when her fathers praised him. "We just ran out of cheese one night," he whispered to her a little later, and she can't shake the look her gave her when she laughed out loud), and things could never go wrong with her famous apple pie.

She was quiet all throughout dinner, listening as dad and daddy played the perfect hostesses, asking Finn question after question of the things she's been dying to know. But they're careful enough to sidestep the past, and she's grateful for it. She catches up on his life in the span of two hours. Her dad had turned in early, but daddy is standing in the living room, still attempting to teach Beth how to swing dance. Beth's delighted laughter rings through the room, and she turns to watch Finn, and the way his eyes seem to light up at the sight of his daughter.

Their eyes meet in the middle, and he shoots her a small, boyish smile that sends her heart racing. Finn looks at his watch before looking back up at Beth, shaking his head with a wry smile when Beth demands that Hiram show her the step again.

"We have to go Drizzle," he says out loud. Beth turns to him at a half spin, pouting.

"Already?"

"You have your swimming class tomorrow morning," he reminds her. Beth looks like she's about to argue, but seems to think better of it when he gives her a look, sighing instead as she looks back at Hiram.

"I gotta go," she grumbles. "My daddy's being a party pooper."

"Beth."

"What? S'true."

Finn shakes his head, resigned.

"Get your things," he tells her as he stands. He walks over to Hiram to shake the older man's hand with a smile while Beth stomps over to the guest room to get her things.

"Thanks for having us over. Sorry we've been troubling you lately-"

"Not at all. Your daughter is a delightful creature. And I've missed the presence of an effervescent young girl ever since Rachel decided to grow up and move away."

"Daddy," she calls out, embarrassed when Finn grins at her. Beth runs back into the living room, her backpack slung over one shoulder and the clothes she wore during the day hanging off a hanger as she announces to Finn that she's ready.

"You forgot your present," Rachel says, finally getting up off the armchair she was sitting in.

"Present?" Beth repeats.

"I left it next to your bag."

"That's mine?" Beth asks, eyes wide. Rachel chuckles nodding.

"Of course silly. Hold on, let me go get it."

She walks briskly towards the guest room, smiling to herself when she sees the paper bag that Beth has placed neatly on the floor. When she comes back out, Finn and Beth have already left the living room, standing in front of the door while Finn buttons up her coat.

"I can do it myself dad," Beth says, annoyed, though her hands are full. "I'm eleven you know."

"I know Beth," Finn says wryly. "You remind me every day."

She smiles at their interaction, her eyes catching daddy's who is looking at her in amusement. She looks away.

"Here you go," she says brightly out loud, holding the bag out for Beth to hold. Thrusting her things into her father's arms, she eagerly reaches out for it, peeking into the bag.

"What is it?" Beth asks before she gasps, ignoring Finn as he tells her to say thank you, reaching into the bag to pull out a dress in seafoam green and small, puffed sleeves, tied at the waist with a white ribbon.

"A girl can't go to a party without a party dress," Rachel says, smiling easily. It had caught her eye the moment she passed it by. She had thought that color would match Beth's eyes perfectly. She had been right. Beth is still staring at her dress in awe, and Rachel refuses to look Finn in the eye to gauge his reaction.

"Say thank you Beth," she hears him say. Beth looks up from her dress to Rachel, grinning, and she's surprised when she suddenly feels two small arms going around her waist.

"Thank you," Beth mumbles into her dress, and she smiles, hugging the child back.

"It's the least I could do for the best assistant in the world."

Over Beth's head, she finally sees Finn. He's still looking at her with that indiscernible expression on his face and she tenses, worried that he might think she's overstepping her bounds. She relaxes when his face softens as he looks at her. He's not smiling, and she still can't read his face, but she knows he's not angry, and that's good enough for now.

Xxx

She's cleaning up, washing the dishes as she hums to herself, when daddy comes up to stand next to her.

"I can see how Beth turned out so wonderfully," he says nonchalantly. "Finn is an excellent father."

She nods, making a small sound in the back of her throat in agreement.

"A little dismal in his hair styling abilities of course, but then again, that's a feat not able to be achieved by all men. I think she's really looking up to you Rachel."

"Mmhmm. " She's keeping mum, and next to her, daddy chuckles, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"It'll be nice to have them around more often," he tells her before walking away. She grins, resuming her chore as she hums again.

Xxx

She's getting ready for bed, moisturising her skin when the text comes in.

(Thanks for tonight.)

Her heart stutters, lotion in hand as she wonders what to say. She knows it's not Beth, because it's too late for her to be up, and it's missing a couple more excited sentences.

(Thanks for coming.)

She turns off the light, sliding under her covers with her phone in hand, holding it up immediately when it vibrates again.

(Goodnight Rachel.)

(Goodnight Finn.)

She knows that there's a small, probably idiotic, perpetual smile on her face, but she doesn't really care. She turns on her side, closing her eyes, and as she drifts off to sleep, another text comes in.

(You looked beautiful tonight.)