Jingle Bells

Blowhole's Lair, Location Unknown, 3:00PM

The sinister dolphin known as Dr. Blowhole rolled over to a control panel on his segway with one purpose in mind.

"Red One, why, may I ask, are you wearing a Santa hat?"

"Huh?" The lobster looked up from the little screen. "Um, because, it's Christmas?" He attempted a smile.

"Ugh! How many times do I have to tell you: we will not have holiday cheer in my lair!" Blowhole leaned over and gave his minion his most threatening glare, a glare he had perfected. The lobster quivered.

"S-s-sorry boss. Won't happen again." He took off the hat and threw it aside.

Blowhole pulled away. "Good." He looked askance at the Santa hat, now limply laying on the floor. He rolled towards it and pressed a button on his segway. A metal arm extended and picked up the revolting Christmas symbol, dropping it into a fire.

"Boss, may I ask a question?"

"Yes, and you just did."

"Two questions"

"That was your second."

"Thr- four questions?"

"Yes. What is it?"

"Why don't you like Christmas?"

Blowhole furrowed his eyebrows. "It's a bunch of annoying frivolity!" He spun his segway in a circle. "Allll over the world, jingle bells, jingle bells, and they don't even wait until Thanksgiving is over!" A low growl came from his chest. "The heeyoomans and the pengyoowins may be celebrating, but we here at my evil lair will be plotting my revenge and putting my brilliant plan into action!"

"What brilliant plan?" another 'red one' retorted.

Blowhole turned on the super-glare again. "Need I remind you how delicious you are?"

"I mean, yes, it is brilliant plan. So brilliant. I just can't even understand it because it must just be so brilliant that-"

"Alright, alright, stop milking it," the dolphin grumbled, coasting away. Christmas. Ha! What a silly holiday. "Everyone just go buy a whole bunch of stuff for everyone else and throw red and green sparkly things everywhere," he muttered. "Ugh. And the songs are the most annoying-"

Music broke into his thoughts, jolting him out of his rant:

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way

"Who turned that on?!" He whirled around and looked at the other lobsters. "There is nothing I hate more than that ridiculous song!" The lobsters all pointed at each other.

Oh What Fun it Is to Ride on a one-Horse Open Sleigh. HEY!

"Somebody find the radio and turn that noise off before I turn all of you into sushi!" Blowhole snapped. The crustaceans began wildly searching the lair.

Dashing Through the Snow, in a one-Horse Open Sleigh

"We can't find it, boss!" A random lobster shouted.

"Keep looking!"

O'er the Hills we go, Laughing all the way- HA HA HA!

Blowhole put his flippers over his earholes. "That's my least favorite part! The extremely cheesy laughter!" He joined the hunt for the tortuous music's source, zipping his segway from one surveillance table to another.

Oh What Fun to Laugh and Sing a Sleighing Song Tonight! Oh!

"Here comes the chorus again! Ahhhhh!" His yell vibrated up and down with a signature dolphin sound.

"I found the radio!" A lobster triumphantly held up the little device.

"Give me that!" Blowhole swiped the radio and pressed a button.

Jingle Bells, Jingle B-

The music stopped.

The supervillain sighed with relief. "Finally. Now, get back to w-"

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way

"What?!" Dr. Blowhole flicked the switch again, and the music stopped a second time. "This thing needs repairs. Take-"

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle-

"AHHHH!" Furiously he threw the radio on the ground, and it broke it two. He sighed. "That should do it."

"But boss, you just-"

"Quiet, Red One. We'll just get a new one." The dolphin smiled and rolled away.

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells-

Blowhole froze, then did a three-sixty and pushed a button on his segway, causing a laser to blast the radio. Where the mutinous sound device sat, there was now a black spot on the floor. "Finally! Worthless piece of junk! Who bought me that?" The lobsters all pointed towards one, who shrunk back in fear. Blowhole flashed a malicious smile. "This is a perfect time to test out my new device." He pressed another button.

"The Mindjacker," a deep voice boomed.

"No! Not that! The-" He pressed a different one.

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All-

"AHHHHHHH!" All the lobsters all burst into fits of laughter. "WHO RIGGED THAT?!" The lobsters again all pointed at a random minion.

"Lock him up! I'll deal with him later!"

"No! No!" the crustacean yelled as he was dragged away. Blowhole sighed.

"Imbeciles," he grumbled. "That one'll pay for that." He turned his segway and rolled down a hallway. "I need some fresh Alaskan Salmon." As he rolled, he began humming to himself. "Hm hm hmm, hm hm hmm, hm hm hmmm hm hmmm." Blowhole stopped abruptly as he recognized the tune, then threw his flippers into the air. "NOOOOOOOO!"