Secrets in my heart

chapter 2

Hospital

Ryan and Esposito see Castle pacing back and forth the waiting room, staring at the door.
"Can't go in either bro." Esposito says when they get closer to him.

"No why?" Castle looks up at them.

"That's just the way it is." Ryan responds,

"But I'm..."

"We all are bro," Esposito pats him on the shoulder. "We're mad too but..."

"If you're not family...They don't care." Ryan finishes Esposito's sentence.

"But we are her family, just not the right kind."

"So what can we do? I..." Castle's voice trails off.

"I know that you want to see her but..." Ryan snorts. "I wouldn't count on it anytime soon," he shakes his head as soon as he saw Castle's heart tear in two. "But we can watch from here," Ryan tries to cheer him up. He knew that that wouldn't make things right. Ryan knew that Castle had feelings for Beckett, he knew it from the start. He could see it in their eyes.

"It's not the same..." Esposito says as he went to the window to look in on his girl, "She needs..."
She needs me. castle thought, I...

"What if she..."

"Don't go there bro," he glances at Castle then at Ryan. "She'll be fine. She just got to be." Esposito was nearly in tears. Be strong he told himself. I have to be strong.

"Why does Josh get to go in there?" Ryan comments after seeing him sitting by Beckett's bed holding her hand. "That should be..." out of the corner of his eye he looks over at Castle.

"Cause he can pull rank," Castle made a face at Esposito's words. He knew all to well what that was like, he pulled rank to get to follow Beckett and now...he can't be with her. In her time of need.

"You can always try your charm." Ryan suggests laughing at the thought as a nurse walks by them.

"I just might do that." Castle tries to smile.

"I was just kidding, trying to..."

"I know, It's just..." Castle shakes he's head.

"Frustrating to have no power." Esposito stats, "We need to find this guy, this shooter and fast."
Castle didn't care about finding that shooter, he wanted to be in there with his...what was she to him, more than a muse, more than partners, more than friends, more like...well he wanted more but did she? He starts walking back and forth, pacing again.

"Will you stop that...pacing." Ryan calls to him. "Go home."

"I'm going to be doing the some thing at the loft."

"Then think of a way to get past that guy. You always find away. That's what makes you Castle, think of what one of your characters would do in a situation like this?" Ryan patted him on the back, "But right now, we are going to grab something to eat and then... you want to come?"

"Don't ask him, just grab him by the arm bro." Esposito whisperers. "That's the only way to get him to leave..." a pause "her..."

So with every walk down the hall they made, the boys would make Castle go farther, closer to the door. Then they finally lead him right out of the building.

"She will be fine for a few hours, bro, come." Castle finally gives in and let's the boys his boys take him from the hospital's main entrance.

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Castle's loft later that afternoon:

"Is it true, that she's slipped into a coma." Alexis ran towards her dad and into his arms.

"Oh, dear I'm sorry." his mother hugs him from the other side.

Alexis pulls away, "Then why aren't you with Beckett?"

"I can't."

"What," she glances at him as he walks to the couch. "What did you do?" Alexis twirls around, now facing her dad.

"Just saved her life."

"And they wont let you see her." she sits down besides him.

"I'm not allowed in her room, Josh, her boyfriend," he made a face at his name "Won't let me in."

Alexis could see that he was not himself. Was he really that in love with her? He had been in love before. It never lasted, well he and her mother tried it and she ended up leaving.

She didn't want to see that again. Was that statement more for her or for him. To many women walked into his...their lives none stayed long enough for her to get use to them. She thought Beckett was going to be different, that was until she started dating this Josh guy. Wait, isn't it my dad that is suppose to be the one that's jealous not me. She just wanted to see that spark her dad had again and when Beckett was around she saw that spark. The one of happiness and excitement at every little thing she made him do. Alexis held her dad's hand. She could hear him sigh.

"The one thing that I've learned," Alexis starts to tell her dad what she thought. "...well...from you is never give up on what you want. So dad," She makes him look her in the eye. "Don't give up on her." she pats him on the shoulder, "Get over there and demand to see her. It's what the both of you want...need. You're her parnter...and.."

"I'm..." She's right. "I am...her partner." in more ways then one. He perks up some at that.

"And partners..." she wanted him to finish the thought which he did.

"have each others backs," Castle got up quickly, "That's exactly what I'm going to do."

"That's why I'm here."

"Thanks honey," He gave his daughter a kiss on the cheek.

"Very wise, kiddo." whispers Martha, wondering how her granddaughter got so wise. "I know that was hard for you. You think if Beckett...she might take him away from you".

"Some of that is true but look at how happy he is." Alexis watched her father skip out the door.

"How does he do it?" Alexis questions.

"Do what?"

"Seeing her go out with other men. Why can't he just tell her that he loves her. It's written all over his face, there's no secret, that he does."

"I don't know...I just don't know." Martha shakes her head, wondering the same thing. He better do it now, or he might lose her for good.

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Ryan's words came back...what would your characters do? kill someone, Castle smirks. Not a bad idea and I could do that for I know how to get away with it. but I couldn't. Thinking of the boys and remodeling gave him a better idea. "Mr. Castle," the janitor to the precinct calls after seeing him walking towards the building.

"Hey, is everyone?"

"I think most have, I know that your boys haven't." the janitor winks and holds the door open for Castle. "Thanks."
my boys, a smile crept across his face. Ryan and Esposito we are like family and we have to stick together and...hold on Beckett I'm coming. Ryan and Esposito he could see were still talking, that they didn't notice that Castle was even in the building. Good while they, are distracted, I'll get what I need. Castle grabs a uniform now for my plan. He left his boys to find the shooter while he took care of his little problem.

Dressed as an officer of the law no one will see me. The sun was setting so he would have to start now. Sneaking around the back, like a thief in the night, Castle sees his target. Making sure no one was watching him, he jumps the fence. And goes under the plastic overhang streight into the hospital. That was easy but darker than I thought.

He places his hand on his flashlight, the one, that he sleeps with every night. The one that Beckett gave him when they first started over a year ago, I'm coming Beckett with my trusty flashier. he laughs remembering the story of the "trusty flashier".

Flashing his flashlight around, he made his way down the dusty west wing hallway. In the main hallway the night shift, non he had met, didn't seem to notice that he didn't belong. Pretending to make rounds, this is going to be a long night.

"New security officer," one of the nurses from the night crew asks after seeing Castle walking by. Castle fell right into character.

"Yes, just putting me wherever these days. Anything that I should know?"

The brown headed nurse in her deep purple scrubs came around the nurses station towards Castle.

"Josh," Castle shivers, "one of our Doctors from the third floor, says that he had trouble with one man. Some 'writer boy' who thinks he owns this town just cause he's a writer." she was eying Castle, "So watch out for him."

"So where's this Josh." Castle almost choked on that name, "So I can talk to him."
"Probably in the break room drinking coffee." She was edging closer to Castle. "His girlfriend got shot. She's in a coma now, poor thing. Her dad has been in there with her all day. See he lost his wife the same way by a...why am I going on and on?"

"That's fine. we're...I'm just watching for anything out of the ordinary." No getting Josh out of that room he said in his mind. The nurse kept staring at Castle. He swallows thinking that he might have be caught. Turn on the charm Castle, so he did. He put on his best grin. Intercom comes on: Nurse Susans to room 101. "Well I got to go...but can I say one thing."

"Okay," Castle waited his fate. If anyone figured out what he was up to, that would be the end.

"You're kind of hansom to be a cop..." she smiles. Is the an evil grin I just saw. "Nurse Susans to room 101," the intercom repeats again. "I better go, catch you later."

"Look forward to it," She turns back around and held out her hand.

"Rachel Susans."

"Ricky, just Ricky." he shook her hand. Only did she know that she was shaking 'writer boy's' hand. After the nurse in purple left his sight he got to thinking of how to get Josh out.

Poison nah I don't think so all though, drunk um...take to long think Castle we're in a hospital, you can always drug him. He snaps his fingers, that's it. Now how am I going to get my hands of some drugs, the nurse she...

Waiting was not Castle's thing, the faster that he got rid of Josh the more time he would have with Beckett. What's taking so long, he murmured to himself.

Castle saw that Josh was still talking to Beckett, acting the best he could, without drawing to attention to himself he walks back and forth.

what kind of lies is he telling her? now how to get him out here? um...got to think of a lure him down to the west wing.

"Ricky," he hears Rachel's voice from behind him. Act normal, but what is normal?

"Hey," He turns to face her.

"That's Josh's room. I just check on them, his girlfriend, detective Kate Beckett, she's still...the same."
Josh was coming, Castle quickly turns her so he wouldn't be seen. "Why..." Castle leans in to her and kisses her, just as Josh walks by.

While he kisses Rachel, Castle slides his hands in her pocket lefts her keys. when they pull apart, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that." He confesses.

"It's okay," she stands there getting her bearings, "No complaints here," she finally responds in a Getty voice. "I..." Castle thinks she's starting to blush. "Thanks."

"No thank you," for the keys he wanted to add.

When Josh returns Castle had to kiss Rachel again. I'll do anything not to get caught by him. This time Rachel ran her fingers through Castle hair. Something, he loved to feel.

"ut...um..." a voice calls closer then Castle wanted, "I know no...but...," Rachel tries to explain herself.

"Forget about it, now go." Calls one of the other nurse. Castle stood for a minute, patting his pocket. Locked cabinet here I come.

The halls had a few people roaming. Now that's how I can get him out of there, give him a call. If I call in seeing the 'writer boy' as they call me, down here, then he will come running.

After breaking in the drug room and collecting the drugs that he needs Castle runs up to the front desk.

"Can I help you officer?" pretending to be out of breath from running,

"Yes, I...I need help I saw that "writer boy" as you call him, down in the west wing area. I think he's..."

The head nurse was on the phone before he could finish telling her. Castle races down the stairs and found a hiding place, now to wait I got the ball rolling. Just as he thought Josh alone comes around the corner.

Castle steps up behind him, shoves a rag to his face. Josh struggles to get out of Castle's grip but is over powered and falls to his knees. "Nightly night Josh." Castle laughs evillishly, "No one messes with me and my muse."

Castle makes sure that he is out cold before dragging his body down the hallway. Castle grunts the whole time. "It's heavier than I thought to move a body, I wouldn't be good at that." Castle stops after hearing footsteps. "Great now what?" He slides the body into the first closet he comes to. The closet door closes on the body just as soon as Rachel steps in.

"Did you catch him?"

"Josh took after him, for he just out-smarted me."

"I'm glad that you're okay," she hugged him, perfect timing. He dropped her keys back into her pocket. "Me too,"
both leave back up stairs, "I'll be back boy."

On his second round to the west wing, Castle he opens the closet door, "I told you I wouldn't forget you." He unloads all most everything that was in the vending machine. "Let's see brought you well, some food. I don't want you to starve. That wasn't part of the plan." After placing the food and drinks down so Josh wouldn't starve, he handcuffs the man and locks the door back. now no more of you to get in my way. Now to go see Beckett. He steps out of the West wing hallway and gets into trouble. Another nurse stops him. "No one's suppose to be down here," she yells at him.

"Sorry, frist day, I got lost. It won't happen again."

"It better not. Now, get going." Castle swallows. She turns to leave but then turns back around. "You look familiar, where have I seen you before?"

"I...I don't know," and I'm not going to find out.

To be continued...

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what do you think so far?