Chapter 2, in which Bets are Placed, Hormones Run Rampant, and, of course, Snogging Occurs.
See the First Chapter for Disclaimer.
"Not sure when it became the fashion to attack a guy just for trying to be helpful," Griffin groused.
"Maybe when maybe when one of the village idiots from Wiltshire got lost, ended up here at Hogwarts, and then opened his mouth trying to be helpful," Serena shot back.
"Serena, Griffin now is NOT THE TIME!" their mother half shouted at them, "We obviously have a much larger issue at hand."
"Yes, of course we do my dear."
"Thank you dear, for realizing the seriousness of the situation," Hermione said flashing her husband of eighteen years a grateful smile.
"As I was saying," drawled Severus, "There is a larger issue at hand. The most important being, how early do I want to go when I place my bet on how fast Blaise will hex Potter."
"Severus!"
"What, dear? You remember how much they hated each other till nearly the end of your final year."
"Well first," Hermione began glancing around with a slightly nervous look, "I had already taken my NEWTs and graduated. I was already apprenticing with Filius then."
"Well I know that, dear. Why on earth are you bringing it up now?" Severus queried.
"Well," Hermione trailed off, directed her gaze towards their eldest, and then gave Severus a forceful glare, "I just thought it might be good to point out on the front end that, if they are indeed coming from mid-December of their final year, that I had taken my NEWTs the previous June and," she continued very nearly hissing the last part, "That I wasn't actually a Student."
A look of comprehension came on Severus' face, "Oh, yes I see why that's probably best mentioned now."
Severus rose from the settee and went over to where the teens were congregated and cleared his throat. Once their attention was directed towards him, he began to speak.
"Now, children, I'm not sure at the moment how that group managed to get here, defying all known rationality, but, until they explain, I'm going to assume that it in some way has to do with Potter being an idiot."
"Won't you assume that anyways, even after they explain?" asked a certain William Weasley.
"Obviously, Mr. Weasley," came the silky reply, "You should know that by now."
"Are you really going to bet on how long it takes my mum to hex my dad?" asked James, his ice blue eyes barely visible beneath his artfully styled, messy, black bangs.
"Perhaps," Professor Snape drawled, "if some you boys would like to place a bet, I wouldn't mind throwing in a galleon or two..."
While the other boys were rummaging in their pockets, a growing light of realization was appearing on young Mr. Weasley's face. Severus, Griffin, James, and Connor Longbottom turned away from hedging bets as Will rose and quite nearly sauntered over to where Hermione had been observing on the settee. He slid in to sit beside her and flashed her a charming grin, reminiscent of his Uncle Fred, and began to lay on total charm.
"Aunt Hermione, you look wonderful, positively glowing. I can call you Aunt Hermione, since technically we aren't in class right?" he waited until she gave a nod, not noticing the mirth dancing in her eyes, "Congratulations on your pregnancy, I know Griffin is going to be so thrilled when it sinks in, Serena, too. I mean Marcus' is already in his 4th year, and Helena, aww little Helena, is a first year! Gosh, can you believe it Aunt Hermione, Helena is almost 12!"
"Get on with it, boy," growled Severus while his wife let a giggle escape as she saw Will's face briefly look petrified with fear before returning to its prior suave appearance.
"Yes, yes, as I was saying, Helena is an ickle firstie, Lavinia is 9, and your little surprise, sniff, I remember it like yesterday. Your little surprise, Auggie is," at Severus glare, "I mean Augustus, is almost 5. I'm so glad you decided to have one more, now you have the whole quidditich team! I mean you did plan on having one more, didn't you Auntie?" he asked sweetly.
Hermione squirmed for the briefest of moments, while Will tried to look anywhere but the direction of the death glare his "Uncle" was giving him.
"Well, William, this baby wasn't quite planned in some 5 or 10 year plan..." she trailed off realizing she had given herself away once more since if anything was planned at all it was in one of her infamous 5 year plan lists, but recovered enough to finish with a, "but of course we have always been opened to more children, isn't that right dearest?" she shot rather tightly at Severus.
"Hmm? Oh, yes. We are always delighted to add another Snape to the cause of giving Minerva, Professor McGonagall, more grey hairs."
"Well," interjected the headmaster before Hermione's ever fluctuating hormones could cause her to move from snogging her husband to hexing him, "I, myself, am exceedingly excited to have another baby at Hogwarts. I do so love them. Oh, Hermione, I didn't get a chance to ask earlier, but when are you do? Not for some time, I would assume, since you only found out today, right?"
"Well, actually," Hermione began rather uncomfortably, "I wasn't quite looking for the signs. So, actually, I'm already through with my first trimester. Our baby," a loving look sent over to Severus, hexing apparently forgotten for the moment, "should come sometime in early to mid June."
At this William, who'd been following the conversation closely, leapt from the settee positively bursting with glee.
"Pay up boys," he crowed as James and Connor grumbled while searching for their stashes of coins. Hermione looked aghast while Severus looked almost amused. Griffin however was having none of it.
"You bet on my parents?!"
"Course we did Griff, I mean we only spent our childhood seeing our parents do the same," replied Connor.
Still seething, Griffin had moved beyond his mad voice to his positively angry deadly quiet voice, "What exactly did you bet on? The exact bet, please."
"Well," began Will as he awkwardly attempted to put the now rather full money bag back in his robe pocket, "I think we realized when Auggie was born that your parents had never gone more than four and a half years without your mom being pregnant, even if Auggie was an accident. A wonderful surprise, I mean, Aunt Hermione," he shot off after the look that crossed Hermione's face, "Anyways, we realized this so first we decided to bet on whether or not Auggie was the last one. Connor said he was."
"See, Griff, I'm on your side," interjected Connor.
"For now," grumbled Griffin.
"May I continue?" Will said exasperatedly, until Griffin, Hermione, and Severus all shot him a look. (Serena had moved on to a convenient alcove to attempt to see, in a purely research driven desire, of course, if her face could correctly meld to a one James Potter's face. From the headmaster's quick glance over it appeared successful and seemed destined to continue the trend, at least until her father noticed.)
"Well, so after we placed that bet, we decided to let things be." Will seemed as though he wanted to leave it at that, but a raised eyebrow from his Uncle forced him to gulp, his Adam's Apple moving rather forcefully up and down, and continue. At least he did appear to have the smallest amount of guilt, or was that fear, at admitting to the next bet.
"Alright, so we did leave things for awhile, but, this summer, as we were getting closer to the deadline for the bet we decided to make things interesting. To be fair and let Connor join in we decided to make this one conditional."
"How very attuned you are to fairness and equality, Mr. Weasley," purred Severus.
"Yes, well Uncle, I am one that likes things fair," gulped Will nervously.
"Hey!" shot Griffin, "Connor, you said you were on my side!"
"Yeah, well," Connor mumbled while running his fingers through his light brown hair, "I didn't really want to lose two bets, mate. You understand, right?" he finished looking at Griffin hopefully.
"No! I most certainly do not. They're my parents, Connor, my parents," he stressed.
"Do you want me to ever finish this story, cause I'm fine leaving it there," piped Will.
"Continue, Mr. Weasley, you'll need a grand finish if you want me to replace even some of the points my wife appears to be planning on taking off of her former house's total for this series of shenanigans. Will glanced over at his Aunt for the first time in awhile and realized she was indeed making the face that signified she was going to take points, but that she wasn't sure yet how high she was going to go.
"Alright, last time, I hope..." he began, adding the 'I hope' part after the glare from his Uncle that assured him he would be finishing regardless of anymore interruptions, "We realized that other than Serena's May 12th birthday, everyone else's birthdays were in June, July, or August. This led us to believe that the odds were extremely high that if a new Snape was going to happen, a September-December conception was most likely. So we decided to bet on that month. Connor said October, James said November, and I said September. So, James and I got galleons from Connor for a new Snape addition even happening and I got galleons from both of them because I guessed September."
Now, Will had said the last few sentences of his little story quite quickly so there was a bit of a delay in processing the tale from those around him. However, once everyone began to get up to speed, the tensions and emotions in the room very nearly led to a repeat performance of the infamous destruction of many prized objects in the room by a one Mr. Harry Potter nearly two decades prior. An even Professor Dumbledore was very relieved not to repeat (he really hating repairing all those neat gadgets and gizmos, they just never seemed the same after being exploded into millions of small pieces by a magical emotion surge.
As previously mentioned, once Will finished his tale and everyone began to realize what had occurred, many things happened all very close to one another.
First, Severus realized where his eldest daughter was, what precisely she was doing, and, most importantly, with whom she was doing it with, glowered and wandlessly sent James sliding towards the far wall, his shoulder hitting it head on as evidenced by his loud groan, and then sent Serena flying towards the now vacant seat on the settee by her mother. It became apparent that some variation of the sticking charm had been cast and Serena glared at her father once she realized she could no longer move. Severus didn't bat an eyelash. I mean, really? How could his children even think they could use the glare they learned from him against him, not likely.
Hermione hadn't seen what Severus had done, or for that matter what Serena had been doing, and merely thought that her daughter had decided to come be near her mum. Serena almost flashed her dad a grateful smile when she realized she could move around the settee, but then remembered who had stuck her there in the first place. At this, she moved to sit closer to her mother, putting her face on her mum's chest while letting her mum stroke her hair, not caring at all if this behavior was more attuned to her 4 year old brother. Severus, having decades of experience following stories told as quickly as Mr. Weasley's, had realized what the bet was well before the tale was finished and looked, if anything, simply amused.
Griffin was not. "You bet on when my mum and dad would shag enough to forget protection!" he cried, "Did you seriously bet on that?!"
Will had the grace to look a little ashamed, "Well, when you put it that way... Yes. But really, we were just betting on you getting a new sibling, you know a wonderful, gift?"
Griffin glowered, pulled out his wand and, before Will had a chance to react, turned Will's hair Silver and Green.
"Now, now, I think that we realize that Mr. Weasley, Mr. Potter, and Mr. Longbottom may have not made these bets in the best taste, have caused no harm, nor foul so I think that we should move on to what we are going to do with our visitors outside.
"Have they heard this whole thing, Albus?" asked Severus.
"Oh, no, I placed a several silencing charms including a relatively new one so, even if your younger self tried, they would have no luck removing them. I also believe they are rather shell shocked from the whole experience thus far and are more than happy to simply consume the sandwiches and drinks I had the kitchens make them."
Those in the Headmaster's office appeared to be moving themselves to discuss what the first step should be when Hermione burst into tears.
"Severus!" she hiccupped.
"What, my darling?" he replied knowing that any of his next words could decide whether or not he was able to utilize a certain prized appendage and where he would be allowed to sleep in the coming weeks.
"Their bet means everyone must think that all.. all we..." she said with audible sobs interspersed, "all we do is shag once the kids leave for the dormitories!" the last bit said in an almost full wail.
"Now, darling that simply isn't true. No one thinks that way, do they Mr. Weasley," he growled.
"No, sir," said Will quickly, "Aunt Hermione we were just being stupid and picked randomly all fairly close to each other. See, Connor picked first and so James and I just picked the months around him so we'd be more likely to win. We'd never think any deeper than that. We aren't nearly that smart. Right, Uncle Severus?" he finished knowing his Uncle would back him up on that fact more than any other.
"Perhaps you're most astute observation every, Mr. Weasley," his uncle replied.
"You promise, William?" sniffed his Aunt, who was seemingly recovering from her previous crying spell.
"Of course, Auntie, and may I say I think you'll be a wonderful mum again," he replied, full charm back on.
"Oh, thank you, William, I'm so glad you think so," she said with a watery smile. Severus unstuck his disobedient, but very grateful daughter from the settee with a warning to sit far away from young Mr. Potter, deciding that having to be that near her mother during a pregnancy emotional spell was punishment enough and sat down in her place and allowed his wife to lean against him while she regained her composure.
Albus clapped his hands and decided to continue as though the last few moments had never happened, a trick that he'd used during several of Hermione's past pregnancies.
"Now, we have a group of people who have somehow ended up here from close to two decades ago and now we need to figure out what to do with them. I'm sure they'll explain some of how they ended here, but as it appears accidental, I'm not sure the level help they will be, or at least the majority of them will be. Luckily for us, the last classes prior to Christmas Break were today and we have a period of time available to deal with this unusual situation. Severus, do you have any suggestions on how to proceed?"
"Well, Albus," Severus began, "I think that we should bring in the cavalry, so to speak, all of their older counterparts. They've already met their future children, so whatever paradoxes that may or may not happen are no longer preventable. Plus, we can always alter their memories once we have figured out how to return them to their own time."
"Excellent!" said Albus, "Well, then Severus, would you be willing to floo those involved and request they come to my office immediately?"
"Certainly," Severus replied and began to make his way over to the fireplace.
"Wait," said Hermione, "Albus they aren't all crammed on the steps, are they?"
"No, of course not, my dear. I have a sitting room off the staircase that I've had them directed into. I often leave Ministry officials waiting in it till I decide I'm ready to receive them. It's rather done up like a waiting room at St. Mungo's, except of I'd like to believe a higher caliber of food, drink, and literature to browse."
"Oh, ok. In that case, go ahead and floo the others, Severus. Oh, and Albus?"
"Yes, my dear?"
"I'd like to get in on that bet about Harry and Blaise hexing one another. 5 galleons on Harry hexing Blaise within the first minute and a half of meeting their older selves/realizing they married each other and had children together."
Severus abandoned getting the floo powder to come over to the desk and in a cool, strong voice said, "7 galleons on Blaise hexing Harry in the first minute and a half," and returned to the fireplace to continue making floo calls.
"Well, then," said Dumbledore, "I'm going to say 5 galleons on them both hexing each other in the first minute and a half."
The children in the room simply stared. "Mum, you're betting?" asked Griffin incredulously.
"Of course, darling, you have no idea how much your aunt and uncle detested one another for most of their seventh year.
"Well, I suppose I should order some tea while we wait for the others to arrive," said Albus once Severus returned to his seat near his wife.
Severus gave his wife a quick kiss and once more they were in their own world.
"Severus, I'm so happy about our baby."
"Me too, darling, me too," he replied and moved to more fully embrace her. Seconds later they were snogging as though they were teenagers! Everyone in the room was smirking and snickering, excluding the eldest two Snape children who had banded together on the window seat with mutual feelings of mortification.
