A/N: Thank you for continued reviews, alerts, favorites; it means so much to me! This chapter is a bit changed, here and there, details to fit the new story-line.

Disclaimer: Bioware.


After Our Darkest Hour

Chapter Three – Content for a Moment


Shepard might have laughed, if this weren't such a serious revelation. Kaidan hadn't moved for a good ten minutes, eyes locked on her face, expression curiously blank. Vaguely she wondered if he thought she was messing with him; his grip on her hands made the thought leave as quickly as it had come.

"You, uh, okay there, Alenko?"

He blinked. Once, then twice, then his dark eyebrows dropped over his eyes and his lips pressed together tightly. He was either intensely confused, or angry. She preferred the former, rather than the latter.

"Kaidan?" Now the indomitable Commander's hands were shaking, pressed where they were so tightly against his chest. It wasn't often Shepard felt this way. She had always been tough, using each loss to strengthen her resolve that she would not allow another if there was any way to avoid it. Yet in the face of Kaidan's possible rejection of the matter at hand, she was afraid.

"I…uh…" She realized now, that his hands were trembling as well. "I mean, how? I thought…with the implants…I mean, you died, didn't you? And we were using protection…" he trailed off for a moment, thinking, she figured, much too intently. She wanted to reach up and smooth the furrowing lines between his eyebrows. "Except…except for that one night…"

Now she laughed. Or, chuckled. Something like it. Her head dropped and her shoulders shook.

"Hey, hey, hey now. What are you laughing at, Commander?" Kaidan found himself chuckling with her, before wrapping his arms around her and holding her. They spent the moment working through the odd amusement before they subsided. "It's, uh, reasonable I am a tad lost here. We didn't think you could get pregnant, even if we forgot about contraceptives."

She smirked and nodded, pulling back and moving to the couch, Kaidan following with her because he refused to let go of her hand. They sat and he brushed his fingers over her hands, his touch always so soothing. It helped her forget how close she'd come to dying, again, how close they both had come to dying. Each of them sported a number of scars received upon nearly being decimated by Harbinger's beam. It was too bad the Alliance had taken out the upgrade to the med bay of the Normandy that she had used to heal her scars; not that she minded a few scars. Kaidan said they were…endearing.

"Anvi…is this for real?" He finally broke her contemplative silence. There was that voice again, uncertain, weary. She hated bringing that voice out in him, but by hearing it, she knew he cared. She owed him everything, her friends, everything. They had saved her…it was a strange concept for someone to save her. She had been doing the saving for so long. If they hadn't dug her out from the rubble, there was no doubt in her mind she would have died; no – she had died. Kaidan had made sure she'd come back.

Shepard bit her lip, an action unseen in the normally strong soldier. Softly, she nodded, looking down at their hands.

"How?"

"Well, besides the obvious, Major Alenko," she teased with a chuckle.

"Heh, yeah, besides that." Was he blushing? She did love to do that.

"You remember meeting Miranda Lawson?"

"The ex-Cerberus operative at Sanctuary?"

"Yep." Shepard smiled faintly. "She led the Lazarus Project. She was in charge of…reviving me."

He squeezed her hand and gripped the back of her neck with his free hand, pulling her to lie against him. He knew what speaking of this brought up in Shepard, and in him. It reminded him that she had actually died. Brain dead. Clinically and really, dead. He hadn't been able to accept it, not until they had seen the footage of the Project logs at Cerberus HQ. The lab scientist had said it would be impossible to bring her back; Miranda Lawson had been brought it for that very reason, she was certain she could bring Shepard back. And she had. "I remember," he said lowly, "I just…I am sorry, Anvi, that I didn't believe you."

"I'm a reasonable person, Kaidan. I forgave you long ago." She smiled and rested against him. "Miranda, she had been trying to…have a baby. I didn't find out until I saw extranet activity that had been logged in the Shadow Broker's archives. But because of her father genetically producing her, she was unable. After we saw the logs of my revival at the Illusive Man's base, I had so many questions I had never considered before."

"You said 'for all I know, I am a VI who thinks she is Commander Shepard'." He kissed her brow and sighed softly. "I know who you are, Anvi. Yeah, maybe at first I thought you weren't really Shepard, and Cerberus had constructed some AI who only looked like you, but throughout all this, I realized my mistrust was misplaced. I trusted you, but I didn't trust Cerberus. I was stupid to mix that up. Kind of hard to doubt you when you told the Illusive Man to shove his ideals where the sun don't shine."

Shepard snorted. "Anyway – the comm link in London…it was the last time I thought I would speak to her…to any of you." His hold tightened and he trembled slightly. "I wanted some questions about my revival answered…" She shrugged slightly, glancing off to look at her old N7 helmet on the secondary desk that she had retrieved from the original Normandy's crash site. The site where she had died. "I wanted to know if I was really me. If I was really human. If I was going to die, I just…I wanted to know, ya know?"

"I'm guessing she told you everything?"

She nodded briefly, sitting up away from him and leaning back against the sofa with her arms folded across her chest. Kaidan kept a hand on her knee, leaning back with her. "The cybernetics were extensive. The Illusive Man was growing impatient with my 'natural' recovery; and he was adamant about no control chip, despite Miranda's suggestion. I was mad about that, until she told me the rest. She wanted me to listen, to help the human colonies disappearing, and they knew I was the only one who could do it. That's why Cerberus spent so much time and money putting me back together. Ah, Jacob said I was meat and tubes for the longest time. I hadn't even fully healed when I had to be awakened." She shook her head softly, getting a little lost in the memory. "Getting a little off track here; Among Miranda's confession of the Project's details she said 'if you weren't really human, Shepard, how could you have a child?' It baffled me; I hadn't even…considered that as a possibility after what happened to me. With more pressing matters, I didn't ask for an elaboration."

"Yeah, uh, that's understandable." He was following along so far, but it was still surreal. Shepard, pregnant? With his child? It wasn't a bad thing. Hell, he wanted to spend his life with her, children included. He just didn't expect…that it was possible. With the Reapers gone, it astounded him how much he really did want this.

"After Chakwas told me…I went to EDI. Told her about what Miranda said. She helped me look up files uploaded from Cerberus HQ." Shepard rubbed the back of her head slightly, and looked away, as if ashamed. "That's, uh, why she kept telling you I was in the War Room. Most of the time I was, but we were looking up files other times. Apparently, Miranda's inability to have a child made her feel like, that if it were possible, she should avoid that happening to me. The project took so long because she refused to use any cybernetics to heal my reproductive organs." She sighed and glanced back at him. "I wanted to thank her but…she hasn't reported in since the final assault. The comm link was the last time I spoke to her."

Kaidan was quiet for a few minutes when she finished, before he simply reached out his hand and placed it on her abdomen. His warm gaze remained there for a brief moment, before they lifted to her face. She watched him, watched as the curious expression gave way to a heartwarming grin. One she hadn't seen nearly enough. "This is for real then, huh?" Did he sound excited?

"Heh, yea, it's for real, Alenko." She leaned forward and kissed his lips softly, with his hand resting just over where their baby was forming in her body.

"Well, then I guess I should be asking you to marry me then, Commander."

Shepard's eyes widened as she leaned back. His free hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing softly over her lips. "Tell me you'll marry me, Anvi."

"But Kaidan – "

"Shh." He kissed her softly. Then harder, more passionately, their lips meshed and parting to let their tongues explore. They dueled their sensuous dance until they felt the need to come up for air, parting with adamant reluctance. "Be my wife, Anvi. I love you. I have always loved you. Sure, I can be an idiot at time – what with all the times I have shoved my foot down my throat – but I want nothing more than to be at your side forever. I meant it, you know, when I said I couldn't lose you again. Once was more than enough for me to see what you really mean to me. And, if you recall, I refused to let it happen the second time." He grinned again. "Don't make me pull rank on you, Commander. Hero of the Galaxy or not, I do technically outrank you."

"Ooo, sounds like fun." She chuckled and pulled him back for another kiss. When she pulled back she breathed a simple "yes, Kaidan."

Now she could have sworn he was grinning from ear to ear. "Yes?"

"I said yes, you idiot." She jibed him playfully, finding his grin contagious. "Buuuuut, just so you know, you won't outrank me for long."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, didn't you know? Hero of the Galaxy always comes with a promotion." She laughed softly, and so did he as he tumbled her onto her back, nuzzling her neck with his lips. A content sigh followed as they remained tangled together, Kaidan's hand on her belly and his ear pressed to her chest where he listened to her heartbeat; strong, vibrant…alive.


A/N: I kept this chapter the original length, so it's a bit shorter than the others, even with the bits of changes. ALSO, according to the Mass Effect Wiki and in game info – which I looked at extensively – it is never specified what Commander rank Shepard is(lt. commander, or staff commander). Major outranks both of those; the only reason Kaidan follows order from Shepard is because as the head of the Normandy, and as a Spectre, she outranks him, at least until he became a Spectre as well. On her ship and on her team, she is in charge. Otherwise… I enjoy rank banter. XD