Title: Frozen Tear
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.
Chapter: Five: The cliché
This is the part wherein you are taken out in the light, where you are enlightened of what have transpired between Ryoma and Sakuno.
But I warn you, it will not be an exciting story or a legendary one at that. In actuality, it is the same as those ordinary sappy romantic stories- a cliché, if you will allow. Yet with the clichés of it all blooms the individuality of these two personas. As they say, it's what we learn that matters, not the experience itself.
You see, Sakuno personified Echizen Ryoma's maturity. And, well, Ryoma personified Ryuuzaki Sakuno's strength.
It all started with a train ride.
He is a native that grew up in Canada. His Japanese flawless but his attitude very much foreign.
"Which train leads to Kyoto?" he asked in that usual arrogant way.
"Huh?" she dumbly asked, startled of the beautiful Stanger speaking to her so suddenly.
The lad heaved a sigh and repeated the question and the girl blushed a pretty shade of red and answer a, "I'm going there too. You take this train."
And together they flew. A boy. A girl. The same destination. A wrong train.
The lad curses his luck and cusses the girl's incapability of having the right directions. The girl feels embarrassed and apologized over and over again.
They are now stuck in a place that is so far away from their supposed destination. Someone out there must be having a fit, for damn their luck, the rain poured so heavy and strong, all train schedules were cancelled.
They decided to stay in the terminal for the night. Two strangers. A girl and a boy. It should be awkward. She should be scared. He should be angry.
Yet they feel comfort, delight, amusement and many many positive feelings.
"I'm Ryoma." He offered.
"I'm Sakuno." She replied.
The duration of the night was not enough it seems. As the train inspector said, "You have to stay another day. The trains are under repair." Oh damn luck.
And so they stayed. "Let's have breakfast." Said he and she agreed. "I don't have enough money." She said and to her surprise he spoke, "Me too."
And they are doomed. Two strangers. In the middle of nowhere. No food. No money. No anything. They are good as dead.
So they sought after the next best thing. They shared. Shared a meal. Shared a bench. Shared a jacket. They offered each other a smile. And they are both thinking that they share something good, something we call friendship. Oh they are right but not entirely.
For what they do not know is they unconsciously shared their heart to the other.
It has been a month since that fateful event and Sakuno's life was back to normal.
"Sakuno, will you give this to Panda?" her mom asked. Panda is their family dog. Don't judge, some people name their dogs after another animal species.
As she happily feeds her dog, she was taken by surprise when a Frisbee hit her back. Ow! My poor back.
Then, followed footsteps and an apologetic voice, "Hey. Sorry about that." Sakuno being too good of a girl says, "It's okay." without even facing the culprit. "You sure?" the voice asked again. "Yeah, I am-"she said as she turn to face her tormentor but was stopped short when she saw a familiar face.
"Sakuno." He greeted with that arrogant smirk.
"…" she was too speechless to form a coherent thought.
It all happened on Christmas eve, his birthday. They snuck out of the family party and into an abandoned lot a few blocks away. It was a cold night but she only remembers the warmth, the warmth of Echizen Ryoma.
They were fooling around, him with that arrogant remarks, and her with that teasing comments. And she laughs and he smirks.
It was not romantic, she admits because Echizens do not do romantic.
"You will be the death of me someday. Take responsibility." He was always frank, straight to the point but very very vague.
"What do you mean?" she asked, confused if it is a good or a bad thing.
"You will be the death of me someday. Take responsibility. Live with me."
And she laughs. Echizens do not do romantic but they can try.
She laughs. He scowls. She said 'sure, why not?'. He said 'it was not a request.'
And she laughs again. It will always be a wonder to her how she fall in love with a man so egotistic, so confident, so arrogant like Echizen Ryoma.
"This is so cliché." She remarked. And he agreed.
It was three years of companionship, of love, of comfort, of security, of familiarity, of happiness. They thought it will be a never ending cycle, heck, all of the world thought it will never cease. Oh how wrong they were.
The first year was the sweetest. They were fresh, young, very much in love but naïve, oh so naïve. They build their dreams together, around each other. They thought this is happiness. That happiness is just about the pleasure. You see, that is the advantage of youth. They are innocent, hidden from the dark, from the cruelty, from the reality.
The second year was bliss. They are more confident because of the familiarity. Then they start to work on their dreams together. He as an artist, a star, her as a woman, as his woman. It was hard but they say they will manage, for love conquers all. Love will keep them alive. What a stupid stupid song. They are still sleeping in the dream of their love, of their fantasy. The are so up there, so far away, so clouded by their pleasure that the fall will be so hard it will break them into a million pieces. But they do not care, for love conquers all.
The third was the wakeup call, the reality, the downfall. For as they say, third time's the charm. Oh charming. It was Sakuno who first fall from their self-made cloud nine. It was such a hard fall it crushed her soul.
"Who is that on the picture?" she asked once but he just shrugged and said it was no one. She let it slide the first few times but she became fed up eventually.
"If that woman is just a no one, then why do you look at her picture like that?" she shrieked as tears flows. "Like what?" he asked, angered. "Like the way you look at me." She whispered, defeated.
It only needed a little prodding to get what she wanted from his friends. She became nosy, jealous, curious and she wished she have never known the person behind that piece of paper.
It is his ex-girlfriend. A glowing beauty. A strong character. A future Broadway Star. She is nothing when compare to her. She feels so small, so weak, so useless compared to her.
The girl on that piece of paper died a few years back. It was a dreadful accident. No one expected it. A sudden death. Everyone was shocked, saddened, wounded for her loss. Even Ryoma. Especially Ryoma. He was so depressed he even attempted to go after her, to go to the other side. It was sad, depressing.
That is when Sakuno exploded, shattered. "Do you love her?" she asked. "Yes." Was his simple reply. "More than me?" she asked, still hopeful, still stupid. And he did not answer.
Jealousy is a bitch.
She became a machine that produced tears uncontrollably. It was pathetic. She was pathetic. Insecurity have eaten her alive. Jealousy butchered her still breathing body. She never wanted to be like this, to live like this. To slowly become a monster.
She became terrified, paranoid that the monster inside her will eat her all together. She has to kill that monster, that evil before it kills her soul.
Breaking up is an art.
This is what she believes in.
An art because people is familiar with it, they see it, they know it but they can never feel it. They, the viewer, the outsider, will never understand the emotions that made up the art- the sorrow, the pain. They may decipher the emotions beyond the layers of hues but they can never feel it, never experience it thus never fully understand it.
No matter how many times she retells the story, or how many comforting words she receives, or how many hateful stares she receives, or how many people become disappointed. No one can truly understand her pain. Or his pain, especially his pain.
It was the only way. The only cure. Her sole way back to sanity, to her humanity, to her pureness. It was the only way to save her… and her burning soul.
People always pity, take sides to those who are left behind because they are alone, sad, in pain. But what about those who leaves, those who run away? To save their souls. To find and bring back theirselves. What about them? Is it really cruelty to find yourself? To save yourself? When in the process you are also saving him?
She hides, cowers. A coward. A liar. A selfish being. A cruel person.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
She repeats over and over in her heart that it already became her heartbeat, the music of her heart. She knows his pain. But maybe she will never truly understand it, never truly know its degree.
But she has to hurt him. To prevent him from being killed by the monster- the monster that is her.
I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Oh God. I am sorry. Ryoma.
She has to stop loving him to save her heart, her humanity.
But is that even possible? When her heart was made to love him.
How cruel.
The first few months after the catastrophe are the hardest. It is what we call the "aftershock". Sometimes it is even stronger, more cruel that the earthquake itself.
"Don't you love me?"
He keeps shouting, screaming, weeping outside her door but she can hear him clearly, crystal. Like he is shouting in her ears.
She weeps and cries but never falters, still stubborn, determined.
"Is it all a lie?"
No. Oh God, no. It was all true - so very very true that it hurts.
Alcohol intoxicated him, clouding his judgment, his rationality, but it opens his heart, his emotions. And he is a free man. A free man with a missing heart.
"I love you, Sakuno. I love you. I love you."
HE keep shouting, muttering. Again and Again. Never ending. Because it is the truth.
I do too. I love you. I love you, Ryoma.
SHE keeps thinking, shouting in her heart. Again and Again. Never ending. Because it is the truth. Her truth.
But a part of me knows that I can't love you like this, not with a tainted heart.
And this is her truth, her cruel reality.
Forgive me.
He flew to Canada.
She stayed.
Their hearts missing.
Buried deep. Along with their memories. Along with their love.
It was never gone.
Buried but never vanished.
Forgotten but never died, never stopped.
Now, it only depends on their bravery to dig.
Dig. Dig. Dig.
How deep?
Just keep digging and maybe, just maybe we will find a world that will accept our beating tainted hearts and our cruel, cruel love.
End of Chapter.
Yey! I am on the roll. :))
Anyway, this fic will turn on a more drama path so yeah, expect tears, tears and more tears.
BUT hope you enjoyed this chapter the way I did. LOVE and cookies for everybody!
