Okay, I know what you're thinking. Is this really and update, she hasn't forgotten? Yup it's an update and no I haven't forgotten. I finally have finished this chapter and I'm thinking two more which have yet to be started so yeah another epic wait is most likely in store, but fear not I will eventually finish that I promise. Okay I knew how I wanted this chapter to end but man the middle took a while. I hope you enjoy this chapter that I have agonized over. Okay not quite agonized but man did I work at it. So I guess without further delay my next chapter. Let me know what you think and like always I own nothing but my imagination and this is where it has taken me.
Hearing my name I am brought out of my unexplainable silence. "Jay Jay I was worried and I um, I thought I would stop by and, um and check in on you." Okay that came out choppy, unsure and more desperate than I intended, I should follow up with something clever. "Oh, I brought soup, chicken noodle actually and some DVD's you know your favorite types, chick flicks. Okay, okay, I give I like them too but really can we keep that between us you know I have an image to keep up and why are you looking at me like that? Jay Jay you okay?" My mind is racing. Why is she staring at me like that? I mean okay that did come out fast and again I was rambling maybe trying to cover up my desperation a little too much and clever that wasn't but no, that's not it. The why has just become clear. The why just walked into the room. The why just broke my heart and destroyed my resolve. "Will." Yup you heard right. The why would actually be a who and that who is none other than William LaMontange Jr. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, I was just worried when you were a no show and now I see why that was so, yeah I really should be leaving. Again sorry."
Turning to leave feeling deflated a single word stops me in my tracks. "Wait." Okay the word it's self would stop someone, anyone but what caught my attention more than the word was the slight urgency in the way it was said. The emotion behind it had more impact on me than the word itself. Stopping I slowly turn raising my head which until this moment I hadn't realized I had lowered. Turning I meet those same puffy eyes that I had met just moments before and I am putty in her hands. Walking back towards the open door which Jay Jay just so happens to be standing in front of I hear four words that again cause me pain.
"Cher, we're not done." As the word Cher leaves his lips I feel my entire body shutter with disgust. Okay I know, I pushed them together but I still don't have to like it, plus I did it to make her happy. I'd do anything to make her happy but right now she really doesn't look happy. So there's that but more importantly, he's stealing my thunder. Tonight I was suppose to tell Jay Jay how I feel, good or bad tonight I was to get a response from her. Now, well, now I have to compete with Mr. Southern Draw, Mr. Cajun Crawfish, Mr. You're Not Good Enough For Her. So I think you get the point. As I come up with creative and witty names for the man I can't stand I am brought back to reality with three words. I know what you're thinking, I really do have the attention span of a three year old, told you and what's with all the counting of words but really. Wait where was I going with this, oh yes three words.
"Yes we are." It was said with such confidence and determination that I had to hide a small smile that threatened to make an appearance. I thought what the hell but didn't want to make an awkward situation even more so. Now Will's lips are moving and I find myself in the middle of what seems like a very personal conversation.
"No we're not. Can't we talk about this?" Oh crap, he's doing that pleading thing with his eyes, his very blue, very piercing, very, wait damn almost fell for it. God I'm doomed, I almost fell for it and I care nothing for this man or his gender. Crossing my fingers I'm praying Jay Jay doesn't fall for this. And by that look on her face she hasn't, not a single bit of it.
"Will, we have discussed it, several times and neither one of us has changed our minds.
What makes you think us continuing to talk about it will change anything. I'm done, we're done. You've made your decision and I've made mine. There really isn't anything else to talk about, so I think it's you who should leave, Emily's not going anywhere. So please just leave." As she says this, for the first time since before I left the BAU, really, since before the phone call, I see a sparkle in her eyes. Not a sparkle of happiness no, but a sparkle of resolve, of closure, of content, which only makes me wonder even more about the events of this evening.
"If you're sure? If that's really what you want?" He says this trying to read her, seeing if she is and for the love of god you would have to be blind not to see the sureness that she has, again no offense to the blind. "Sorry you feel that way Cher. If you send me the paperwork I'll get it filled out and sent to you as soon as possible. I did love you, you know. I still do." With that said Detective One Too Many Drinks grabs his coat and pushes past Jay Jay exiting her apartment and heads for the elevator but not before he turns to face her. "I really am sorry Cher, I hope you know that." A gentle kiss on her cheek and now he approaches me. Stopping in front of me, our eyes meet, he gives me a slight nod of his head and somewhere in the look in his eyes, in combination with the nod I feel like he's trying to say something, trying to tell me something. I return the nod, not really sure why but it feels like it needs to be returned. Passing me he reaches the elevator, presses the button, waits for the doors to open, enters, the doors shut and he is officially gone.
Watching the doors close I can't help but wonder what was with the cryptic nod, what it could mean. Shaking my head I turn to face Jay Jay and immediately take the five or so steps it takes to reach her where I quickly engulf her in a warm embrace. Pulling her as close as I can I feel my shoulder moisten with tears and I feel her body shake from them as well. Soothing her head with one hand and rubbing her back with the other I say the only thing I can, "Whatever it is, everything will be okay. I promise Jay Jay, everything will be okay." I just keep repeating, 'everything will be okay', I don't know what else to say, I don't know what's wrong but somehow I will make everything okay. Not sure how long we have been like this, just standing in the hall hugging but it doesn't matter she needs it and I can't deny her anything, now or ever. After a while I feel her shaking subside, and I hear a few sniffles that don't sound as sniffily. Giving her head a loving kiss I slowly pull away so that I can get a read on her, again trying to use my profiling superpowers for good. Using the hand that was soothing her head I gently wipe away the few stray tears that have remained.
After wiping the tears I pull her head towards me and kiss her head again for good measure. Bringing that same hand down her arm I grab her hand and lace our fingers. Smiling at her, trying to show my sureness of how everything will be alright, I slowly pushed pass her and pull her along with me into the apartment. I figured we could use some privacy to talk about whatever I just walked in on. Guiding her over to the couch, I sit hoping she will follow suite and she does. We're still holding hands and though I know she is in a time of need, I still can't help but notice how perfectly they fit together and how soft her hand is. I wonder what kind of lotion she uses cause they are soft and I am so not focused on the important thing right now.
"Jay Jay." I figure start easy, it doesn't get much easier than that. "Jay Jay." Hum, still a complete lack of response, apparently her name maybe harder than I thought. Should I try a third time or change tactics. I decide on both as I switch locations. Maybe face to face would be more effective.
Moving from the couch I opt for the coffee table, but still holding her hand. "Jay Jay." Success, she is now looking me in the eye. I guess third time really is the charm.
"You okay." I get a nod which doesn't look to convincing, but then she shakes her head and I know that's the truth.
"You wanna talk about it?" This time she shakes her head but begins to speak. She's just full of contradictions.
"It's just. I don't know?" Okay, well it's a start. Hoping with her communications background I would get more but I'll take what I can. I see her close her eyes, she releases my hands and leans back and covers her face with her now free hands.
I find I really miss the contact so I go for the next best thing. I place my hands on her knees with a reassuring squeeze. "I'm here for you Jay Jay, you know that, right?" She hasn't changed her position so my guess is that it's bad. "Whatever the problem is, it can't be that bad, can it?" As I finish, she slowly lowers her hands and I see tear filled eyes once again. Leaning forward again she recaptures my hands, which just melts my heart. Looks like I'm not the only one who like the contact. The feeling is short lived as she tries to release my hand and stand but this time I won't let go. As she stands so do I and as she looks at me I tell her simply, "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on. You always get on me about shutting people out, there's no way I'm letting you get away with it."
"I can't. Not just yet, but I will." I believe her, looking into her emotion filled eyes, I believe her, plus I meant what I said I'm not leaving until we talk. So yeah there's that.
"Promise." It was more of a statement than a question. It probably wasn't needed but I said it anyway, making sure she knows I'm very serious.
"I promise." With that said I pull her into another hug because well it felt like a hug moment, and there's the fact that I have come to enjoy Jay Jay hugs.
"I will hold you to it." As I state this I slowly let go of her and refocus my attention on the items I have brought. "Are you hungry? I can reheat the soup if you want."
The shaking of her head tells me that the soup is a no go, but hey it's late and they have probably already eaten. "Thanks, but no thanks. Not really hungry." I open my mouth to say something but before I can see continues, "You mentioned something about chick flicks and how you love them oh so very much." As she says this she lets out a small laugh and then gives me that smile. The smile that will melt your heart, take your knees out from under you and cause your stomach to do summersaults and suddenly I'm back in High School what am I, fifteen.
"Hey now, I thought that was just between you and me." I say this giving her my best puppy dog eyes as I stick out my bottom lip in true pouting form.
With hands raised I get, "Okay, okay, you don't have to cry you big baby. I promise, your secret is safe with me. So what movies did you bring for us to watch?" Feeling victorious I reach for the DVD case that I brought with me.
"Well. It's a movie you really wanted to see but with our jobs, it made it impossible to actually make it to the theatre while it was playing, so yeah." She is now looking at me like I'm a bit crazy and she looks a tiny bit annoyed. I'm guessing the complete lack of a movie title or even the slightest description warranted that look. Damn does she look cute, and her eyes are really blue, her lips are just oh so kissable, and I'm a fifteen year old again.
"Okay. So that narrows it down to almost anything." Walking over to her DVD player I get, "Oh come on Em, what is it." God I love that sound. Not the irritation that is only barely present but the happiness, the joy, the normalness in the tone.
"Really, can't you wait the minute it will take for me to get the movie started." This is as I turn and take the three steps back to the couch. As I return I am standing face to face with the beautiful Jennifer Jareau.
"Yeah, Yeah, whatever Prentiss. You not telling me is driving me crazy, so get on with and hit the play button already." I can't help but smile. It's funny how much of an effect her mood has on me. For the first time tonight I find I am really smiling and the reason for that is the fact that Jay Jay is smiling. Not only a smile but her real smile, the one she only shows when around family and friends, the one that not only reaches her lips, but her eyes as well.
Eyes still locked I reply simply, "Patience is a virtue Jareau, don't forget that." As I state this I give her a gentle shove onto the couch. As she falls backwards she gives out this cute little yelp and catches me completely off guard as she grabs my hand and we both fall unto the couch. I managed to catch myself before I land on top of her, though I really wouldn't have minded that but since we haven't had that discussion yet I figure I should make it as least awkward as possible. So as I fall I do this ninja roll type thing and reclaim my place next to Jay Jay on the sofa. As we settle, there is silence. Not quite awkward but I still feel something should be said. As I press the play button on the remote I state, "Oh and don't ask how I got it since it technically hasn't been realized on DVD yet. Just know I work for the FBI and I made it happen. Also I work for the FBI so don't turn me in." I turn to face her and now she has a look of amusement. Trying to figure out if there is a look she does that isn't cute because this look is totally cute. "I give you our feature film for the evening" I point to the screen where it becomes clear what movie it is. "I give you 'Baby Mama' with the talented Tina Fey and Amy Poehler."
"No way, no freaking way. How in the world did you…. Wait, wait you said not to ask. Okay I won't ask. Oh my god. I can't believe you did this. God you must have broken all types of laws but whatever. I won't tell." About five minutes into the movie Jay Jay turns to me as I am deep in thought watching the movie, okay who am I kidding I was watching her out of the corner of my eye but details right. "Em, thank you for this, I really needed it." With that said we return to watch the remaining 94 minutes.
As it ends we are reminiscing over what we had just seen. We are both laughing and I can't speak for her but I'm laughing so hard my side hurts. Laughing so hard there are tears, I see her tears, so this time I can speak for her. Wiping away the tears from my eyes I turn and face her. "God that was good." It's all I can say because god it was good. Just what was needed. Jay Jay's nodding her head in agreement when all of a sudden she's not. Her face has just paled, like all the blood has drained from it. Removing her feet from the coffee table she is now sitting up straighter. I follow suit cause she doesn't look good, maybe she really was sick. "Jay Jay, you okay." She nods her head but totally not believing her. "You sure cause you don't look okay?" The words barely out of my mouth when her hand flies up to hers, before I know is up and running towards the bathroom.
I debate for like a second if I should follow. I mean I should but who really wants to see someone up chuck. Like I said I only debated for a minute because it's Jay Jay and I would do anything for Jay Jay even watch her puke. Rushing in the direction of the bathroom I hear what I thought was the case, Jay Jay empting the contents of her stomach into the porcelain god. Okay I bet you're wondering just how many synonyms I can come up with for vomit, aren't you? As I round the corner and enter the bathroom the sight before me breaks me, Jay Jay sitting on the floor hovering over the toilet. Right now nothing else seems to matter, I do what comes natural to me, I take care of her.
Walking over to her, kneeling next to her, rubbing her back I reach up to flush, cause there's stuff still in there. As I rub her back I take a look around when I spot what I was looking for. I stand up, and reach behind Jay Jay for a wash cloth, going to the sink I soak it in cold water. Returning to my spot next to Jay Jay I place it on her forehead for a few moments until the urge to throw up returns. As she heaves, I continue to rub her back, not sure what more I can do. When it seems she's done I again flush and this time wipe her mouth with the cloth. Getting up to rinse it, as my back is turn I hear the softest, the faintest, "I'm sorry." Yup, that's right she's apologizing to me, can you believe that, she's the one that just tossed her cookies and she's saying sorry to me.
Turning to face, I reply the only way I can, "Oh Sweetie, you have nothing to be sorry for." She doesn't, I don't know why she needs to offer it. "You feeling better, do you think you're done?" I get a nod but I asked two questions, hoping since they both are similar questions that the nod applies to both. Mental note when nods are the answers ask one question at a time and wait for a response. Making sure the wash cloth is clean and cool, just in case it is needed again, I return to Jay Jay and offer my hand. She reaches up taking mine and I pull her up to her feet. And by me I mean only me, she really had not strength to help but not complaining she weighs like nothing. As she comes to her feet I am immediately engulfed in a hug and though she seemed to have little strength just moments ago, this hug is something fierce and I do the only thing I can, I hug back just as tightly. Okay not quite as tight because she seems so frail right now and I don't want to break her but I make sure know that it is completely reciprocated.
"Come on sweetie, let's get you to bed." With that said the hug on both our counts loosens and then contact is broken until I reach for her hand. Pulling her out of the bathroom I head towards her bedroom. When a thought crosses my mind and I smile. The thought was that I have always pictured myself leading Jay Jay towards a bedroom and subsequently a bed, okay not quite the same situation but still I'm taking Jay Jay to bed none the less and again I smile.
"Why don't you get into something more comfy and lie down. I'm just going to clean up the living room and bathroom and then I'll see myself out." She opens to protest but before she can I continue, "It's not a problem, I don't mind and I'll come in and check on you before I go. So get changed and get in bed." With that I head out closing the door behind me. Focusing on the task at hand, my mind can't help but wonder to how this day started and how it seems to be ending. I find I am rethinking this whole evening and how nothing has gone the way I expected it too. However, none of that really matters, all I can focus on is the fact that Jay Jay looks so lost, so frail, so scared and that last emotion is what has me most worried.
Lost in my own thoughts I now find I have finished my tasks so I head back to Jay Jay's room. Knocking I get the quietest response. Opening it I am met with this tiny figure in this big bed looking even more depressing. Walking over to her I kneel in front and brush a few strands of hair out of her face. Our eyes meet and she say very matter-of-factly, but at the same time a bit timid and unsure, "I set some close out for you will stay with me tonight?" Okay, how can I say no, how can I get out of this? Can I get out of this? Most importantly do I want to get out of this? I've decided that I can't say no, I can't get out of this and most importantly I don't want to get of this. I want to help her and apparently she needs it so what do I do. Whatever she wants, that's what.
Standing I grab the clothes off the chair and head to the attached bathroom. Changing quickly I walk back over to the bed opposite side of Jay Jay. Slowly I pull back and climb in. Lying as close to the edge as possible, I just lay there not sure what I should do. What I should do becomes very clear when I hear, "Em, I'm not contagious." Okay I guess that means I can get closer and okay I guess I will get close. I'm inching my way over until I realize she's shivering, which throws inching out the window and I reach her in one final shuffle and wrap my arms around her. Holding I can't help but again think about this evening, she's explained nothing and I have professed nothing. Whispering in her ear that everything will be okay and I believe that, I really do. She seems to be calming and I think she is near sleep, with the evenness of both our breathing I too feel sleep coming on. But all that confidence and the chance of sleep is thrown out the window with three words and it all started with my name.
"Em," hearing my name I'm drawn out of my thoughts, "I'm pregnant."
