I noticed a few more mistakes last chapter than I did the first. Part of it was because I updated at two in the morning after getting no sleep the night before and just wanted to get the update up before going to sleep. I should have read it over again. I'm sorry for being careless. If it happens again, I promise to find a beta. Also, I will in fact write a few lemons due to popular demand. They will be a part of a separate "story" so that you can choose if you want to read it or not. The lemons will always be reviewed by a beta first if I can help it.
And if any of you clicked chapter two soon enough and noticed ".B.R.E.A.K." in there, that's how I tell myself where to put page break. I used to put a bunch of dashes, but this site deletes those for some reason. I fixed it and I hope I didn't confuse anyone with that rubbish. Now enough of this crybaby Jamie. He's getting on my last nerve.
CHAPTER 3: THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG
While I was sure I could finish the painting before Thursday, I wanted the oil paints to dry. Oil paints, unlike other media, is a stubborn material to work with. It takes its sweet time drying, no matter what one does. It was for this reason that I was the only one at school at eight o'clock this Friday morning. Miss Felton let me inside, warning me that if anyone else said anything that I'd have to leave.
I spent my time trying to figure out what the eyes were missing. I added little bits of swirled frost and even spent fifteen minutes sketching out my signature on the back before signing it. For a while, I came up empty handed. It took me over three hours to finally figure it out.
I thought back to the first time he said goodbye to me. He said just finished reciting the Oath of the Guardians. Before getting in the sleigh and leaving, he told me that even if he was far away, he would always be there in my heart. In that moment, I saw the spark in his eye.
I also remembered the first time I saw him. I remember how excited he was that someone could see him. That same spark resided in his blue eyes that time as well.
Yes, his face and eyes did shine brightly, but that spark was even brighter still. I had failed to capture it before because I could never get it to be bright enough. It always blended in with the whites of his eyes, never appearing as anything more than a shining light reflecting off of his eyes. That spark was not a reflection though. It lived within.
At first I considered sticking a little light through the back, but the thought of how destructively tacky that was made me laugh. I had another idea though. One that worked. I spent a few hours repainting his eyes and some of the surrounding areas. I made it all just a few shades darker. I even added some shine to his eyes. When I painted the stark white spark in, it stood out perfectly against the light grey color of whites of his eyes. after adding just a hint of gold, I was done.
I spent the weekend waiting for it to dry. It was still went on Monday, and it was then that the idea that it might now dry in time terrified me. It remained damp on Tuesday as well. It wasn't until Wednesday that I was convinced that it was dry. I made a special trip to get it professionally framed. While I could have probably done it myself, the risk of screwing it up hardly seemed worth it.
Before going to school Thursday, I wrapped it with snowflake gift paper that we had leftover from last Christmas, leaving a note so that nobody would peek before Jack could open it. When I got home, it was gone.
Just like that, my connection with the Guardians fell once again.
The rest of September was uneventful.
October passed by easily enough. Sophie went as Rapunzel for Halloween.
November was quiet as well, apart from the splash of Thanksgiving and Black Friday.
It wasn't until December that anything worthwhile happened. On December 4th, my car frosted over.
Two days later, on December 6th, small white pellets began to fall from the sky. On December 9th, snow finally fell in bulk. And finally, on December 12th, the small lake where Jack took his oath finally finished freezing completely over.
It was winter now. It was time to make snowmen, have snowball fights, and build igloos. It was finally time to drink hot cocoa and go ice skating. I was time for Jack to finally come back.
I could feel that he was near. It may have been a little bit crazy on my part. Maybe it was fueled by a bit of desperation. I could just feel a familiar presence in the town, and I knew who it had to be. It wasn't until December 19th that my suspicions were, in my mind, confirmed.
When frost naturally forms, it usually takes the shape of the surface it is on or, if it is on a vertical surface, branches off of drip-like veins. That night, however, I noticed the faded remains of elegantly swirled frost slowly melting on the top pane of my window. It was then that I began to formally search for him.
I spent the next week looking everywhere I could think of. I even checked throughout the town where I had taken that magical sled ride. It wasn't until New Year's Eve that I finally found something new.
After getting lost in the woods, I stumbled out into a small field of snow. It was completely white and featureless, apart from one thing. Somewhere towards the middle of this frozen sea, something dark and jagged protruded. I dragged my legs through the freezing snow, drenching my legs in the process. It was a fractured wooden plank that seemed to have suffered severely from the effects of the elements.
I began dig away at the snow and kept going long after my hands went numb. I uncovered two other pieces of wood, both of which were also wedged into the ground. I held my hands to my torso for a few minutes to warm them up in preparation to try and dig into the ground.
In the silence though, I heard something quite peculiar. It was a thumping of sort. A deep, foreboding thumping. It was so faint so one had to listen very carefully to even pick it up. I listened for a few minutes before putting one ear to the ground. I heard it louder now. Mixed in were a series of strange clicks, as well as a subtle hissing that resembled rushing steam.
I had to find out what the noise was. Despite the frigid weather, the soil was rather warm. When I shoved my fingers into the dirt, it came up easily enough. I began using my gloved hands as shovels, scraping away the dirt. I got about a foot deep before I was interrupted.
"Don't."
I looked around and saw nothing. The voice was familiar though. I ignored it and scooped up another handful.
"Stop digging."
Jack.
I looked around again. Still seeing nothing but white snow piled up around me, chose to keep digging. Even after these four years, I could easily pick Jack's voice out of a crowd. He really thought that if he told me not to do something from the shadows that I would obey at this point? If anything, it only drove me on. After all of these years of searching, I was finally onto something. I was about another half a foot down by this point.
"You need to stop digging. Please."
I lifted my face towards the grey winter sky and shouted, "Who's gonna make me?"
With that, i continued clawing at the soft earth as I expanded the hole. I didn't hear his voice again for about ten minutes. I got a little bit over two feet down before I felt a hand rest on my left shoulder. It startled me, but I fought the urge to turn around.
I heard shallow breathing draw near until it was right next to my ear. A chilled wisp of air ghost across the side of my face as three words were whispered into my ear.
"Stop digging, Jamie."
I wanted to turn around, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. If I turned around and found nothing, I would almost certainly go insane at this point. I slowly removed my gloves, dropping them in the dirt. As slowly as I could manage, I brought my right hand across my torso to rest on top of the cool hand underneath it.
My brain went into a complete overload at that point. Every single daydream that I had had of this moment rushed forward at once. I once daydreamed that he would rescue me from a blizzard. Another time, I daydreamed that I was ice skating alone and suddenly found his out on the lake with me. I once even daydreamed that he would stop me from spinning out in my car after I hit a patch of ice.
Not once did I ever place myself in the middle of some field digging a hole.
I tightened my grip on the hand, not sure if I should turn around or not.
"I'm not going to hide this time."
And I believed him. He had broken his promise to me before, but I had no choice at this point that to believe him.
Keeping a firm grasp of the hand, I slowly turned my head. Past the thin hand, I saw a bony wrist. Only a couple of inches up was the dark indigo fabric that still remained sharp in my memories.
"Jack?"
"You can't be here, Jamie."
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes before turning around. It took a lot of internal arguing to get myself to open them. Letting out my breath, I let my eyelids snap open. The first thing I noticed were the eyes. I was proud of the job I had done, but nothing could do the real thing justice. After four year, he was finally here.
The overpowering emotion was pure shock. This shock was the only thing that kept the intense joy bubbling up inside of heart heart from flooding over.
"You haven't changed a bit," I mumbled, willing the threat of tears in my eyes away. I was sick of crying.
"The same can't be said for you, Jamie," he replied, pulling free from my hand. "You're all grown up now."
"No, Jack," I argued. "I'm not."
He rested a hand on my cheek, using a thumb to swipe away the solo tear that threatened to fall. "It's okay, Jamie."
"Not, it's really not. I won't grow up if it means that I have to let go of this magical feeling that I have whenever I so much as think of you and your friends."
"That night that Tooth came back to visit you, she lied about something." He shifted slightly, watching me closely.
I could tell that he was going somewhere and willed myself into silence.
"The truth was that I was right there the entire time."
"But I checked the window."
He let out a small chuckle. "I hid underneath your bed."
"Under my bed?"
He nodded. "It was a lot lower than I thought it was and was pretty cramped. You could probably stand to clean up underneath it as well."
"You really hid in one of the most obvious places for someone to hide in a bedroom..."
"And it worked." This time, I got a smile. It faded quickly though. "I heard everything though. There was something that you said that really struck me."
I watched him intently, hoping for him to go on.
"You said that our jobs as Guardians was to protect those who needed us, and I realized that... I realized that maybe age has nothing to do with it."
"What are you saying, Jack?"
"I'm saying that maybe I would be a failure of a Guardian if I abandoned someone who needed me, twelve years old or even sixteen."
"Do you..." I began, losing my calm composure that I had been struggling to contain. I quickly hooked my arms underneath his, pulling him in for the hug that I has dreamt about for years. Even in this heatless embrace, I could feel something deep inside of me began to warm up. For the first time in a while, I was alive again.
He returned the hug, wrapping his thin arms around me. "I missed you."
I pulled out of the embrace, forcing him to make eye contact. "Jack, you have to promise me that you won't leave again. You have to promise that you won't leave me alone when I need you. I can promise to always believe in you. You just need-"
"Jamie," he interrupted, his usually mischievous gaze reflecting a stoic wisdom. "I promise."
"...Are you going to break your promise again?"
He gave me another smile, though this one wasn't quite as cheerful as the one before. "As long as you keep on believing in me, I'll keep on coming to see you."
"Thank you, Jack!" I breathed, squeezing my arms around his narrow frame to make sure that I had actually lost it.
"Can you make me a promise though?" He asked, pulling away slightly. "I need you to promise that you will stop neglecting the rest of your life. Pippa may not need a Guardian, but she does need a friend."
I nodded. "Whatever you say."
In a short moment, my entire conversation with Tooth flashed through my mind. I felt a stab of guilt deep inside, as well as hints of curiosity.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Something Tooth said," I sighed. "She said that getting attached to a child is dangerous since, in the end, they all die."
Jack ran a quick finger through his hair, brushing it out of his eyes, before commenting. "I have yet to experience that."
"But if you continue to be around me..." I trailed, realization finally dawning on me.
"Then someday, I'll feel that pain too." He took another breath as that sunk in. "But hopefully, if you keep believing, we can make it all worthwhile."
"You mean you'd be willing to go through that just to help me?" I gaped.
He nodded. "I was scared when I left, but I've truly missed you. I figured that I'll have plenty of time to miss you after..." The end was just a whisper as he looked down at the ground, tapping the snow on the ground with his foot until it was flat and smooth. "I can miss you after you're gone. For now, I don't have to miss you."
In what was perhaps one of the most selfish moves on the planet, I drew him into my arms for a third time. It's not that I didn't feel guilty. It's just that my lonely desperation overpowered my better judgement.
"It's about time we got you home."
I nodded, linking arms with the friend that I had long to see so much that I lost sleep over it. I had filled many notebooks with him, and now here was walking next to me.
"Will I ever see the others again?"
He shrugged, pausing for a few moments before responding. "That's really up to them."
I nodded, knowing he was right.
I wanted so desperately to talk all into the night, but found myself exhausted beyond belief. Noting the golden speckles that drifted in the air around me, I know exactly what was happening. I didn't fight it though. I wasn't afraid. For once in a long time, I was happy.
"Goodnight, Jack," I mumbled as he lowered me down like he used to years ago.
"Goodnight, Jamie."
And with a yawn, I managed to sigh, "Goodnight, Sandy."
That night, I slept better than I had in four years. I did dream, but just barely. The only image rolling through my mind was that of a bright red cherry. A cherry so red that it almost seemed to glow.
Also if you haven't noticed yet, the titles of the chapters are song titles. I'm slowly leaking little bits of what I'm listening to as I write. The first one was "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift. It is one of her few songs not about a breakup and I love it. The second was "If We Ever Meet Again" by Timbaland feat Katy Perry. It's weird that Katy is listed as a feature because she sang most of the song except for the very beginning. Not the biggest Katy Perry fan, not gonna lie, but I like this song. This one is "The Tip Of The Iceberg" by Owl City. Owl City is good writing music because it sounds cool but the lyrics make no sense so it isn't as distracting.
And in response to those who are wondering (I've already received a could of PMs about it), the cherry does not represent that. Shame, shame! You'll find out soon enough, I promise. Some of you might already have an idea. If it has nothing to do with lemons, you may be right. Don't say anything if you're observant enough, alright? I'll be slower to update over Christmas, but I'm not going anywhere!
