Marceline and I, after much discussion on the matter, began a very slow moving relationship. Our routine doesn't change much from what we had arranged before – I work tediously for my kingdom during the days, Marceline sleeps. Then during the few hours of the evening in which our free time overlaps, before I am forced to retire due to sheer exhaustion and before Marceline must attend to the affairs of the vampires or go to band practice, she will sneak in through my open window and we will talk. And cuddle. And do what Marceline has recently begun calling 'make-out', though I don't quite understand the name for it. I can't say I'm complaining, though – this poorly named activity is definitely my favorite of the night.
I have found myself missing my vampire more and more during the daytime hours that we are not together. I also am displaying an array of symptoms when she is near that are leading me to believe that this simple relationship that we have been involved in for the past few months is leading to something much more serious than I am willing to admit. On top of the heat that rushes to my cheeks, the sweaty palms I exhibit when she is near, the dizziness and lightheadedness I undergo when her fingertips dare to dip under the hem of my t-shirt and stroke the skin of my stomach they find there... I can't concentrate during my meetings, during my councils and townspeople gatherings, I find myself daydreaming of the night before. I find myself constantly thinking of her crooked smile, one fang religiously hanging out, her dark and caring eyes, her hair always falling around us, the simple melodies she plays for me until I fall asleep. And all of this is very sweet, all of this is surrounding me in a very loving feeling at almost all times, but none of this is conducive for ruling a kingdom. A needy kingdom. I decide almost immediately that these matters need to be addressed.
That night when Marceline drifted through the window, she was understandably shocked when she caught site of me sitting in the corner of the room at my desk. Ditching my usual black t-shirt and shorts for a simple tanktop and sleep pants, all topped with my favorite lab coat and my glasses perched carefully on my nose, I was sitting up straight with a small smile on my face.
"Marceline, I am glad you are here. We have to talk."
Raising an eyebrow at me, she slowly floats over to my desk and plops down into the chair across from me. She looks worried, but I smile wider at her in an attempt to ease some of her discomfort.
"This is nothing bad, Marce. I royal promise. It is just very important, and it needs to be discussed, before our usually nightly activities begin. Otherwise I fear we won't actually discuss the matter."
Skeptically, she offers me a small smile in return, "Okay... what's up, sugar?"
I slide a packet of carefully bound papers towards my vampire, which she dutifully picks up. She reads the title of the packet outload, looking confused.
"'High Oxytocin Levels: What This Means For Us'. Are you seriously about to make me read a paper?"
"Please. Just read on. It isn't very long."
We sit in silence and Marceline reads the papers. I watch her face as her expression changes, the way her eyebrows knit together when she gets confused, the way she bites her lip as she reads, the way her eyes read and reread certain words. As she finishes the packet, she quietly closes it and places it back on the desk.
"Okay... I didn't understand a single word of that. Do me a favor and, uh, dumb that down for me."
I smile at her affectionately. "I don't need to dumb it down. I'm sorry, Marceline, I didn't mean to write it as if it was a research paper. It is just the only way I know."
"I know, bubblebrain. I, however, can't read all that science mumbo jumbo. So let's start from the beginning – what's up, Bonnibel?"
She leans forward and rests her elbows on the desk, her face in her hands. Before beginning, I meet her half way and place a simple and loving kiss on her soft lips. As I pull back, my vampire is smiling wholeheartedly at me, and I can't help but smile back. As I return to my previous position, sitting straight up in my desk chair, I clear my thoat.
"Simply said, I think I am in love with you. And that packet simply outlined what are options are from this moment on."
Still on her elbows, her expression drops. Eyes blank, jaw slack, she is staring at me. Holding my ground, I just stare back. I knew it would be hard for her to process, any type of emotion display is a little difficult for Marceline, but I expected more a reaction than this. I expected a reaction period.
"Marceline, this is simply another thing we much discuss and come to an agreement on. As we are both monarchs, we should discuss what this means for us."
"No, Bonnibel", she says simply. She shakes her head.
I cock my head to the side, one eyebrow raised in confusion. "No?"
"You can't be in love with me. You can't. So don't. Don't fall in love with me. Please."
"That is unreasonable, Marceline. It is unreasonable to ask me to just stop feeling something, I can't help it. Emotions can't be helped."
Marceline leans back. She shakes her head again and crosses her arms, a stern look on her face.
"Bonnibel you are just barely 17 years old. I'm almost 1,000. And you can't love me. Because no one can love me. Because I can't love anyone. It's too hard to live forever, and know that if I fall in love with you or you fall in love with me or we fall in love with each other, like, I'm doing to have to watch you d- I mean, everything will change sooner or later. And that's not fair to you."
Confused, I stand and try to walk up to Marceline but she floats just ouch of reach. The look on her face is a combination of fear and anger, and her eyes scream that she wants to say so much more. But she won't.
"I'm sorry but if you mean that, Bonnibel, if you mean that you love me, we can't do this anymore."
"What?", I shout, suddenly angry. "What do you mean? This is the opposite of what is supposed to happen Marceline, this is not how this is supposed to go!"
"You can't plan everything out like that, Bonnibel. I hate to say it but you don't know everything. And you don't know anything about love. I am so, so sorry..."
Slowly, and before I can even begin to express the anger that is brewing inside me, Marceline gently kisses my cheek and leaves. In just under 10 minutes, I told Marceline that I was in love with her... and in response, she left. Too confused still to really be angry and too shocked to cry, I slip out of my lab coat, place my glasses on the desk, and curl up on my bed. Hours of sleeplessness pass, and soon the tears come. Quietly, and for the first time in my 17 years, I cry myself to sleep.
