Cosette sat cross-legged on the bed with her nightdress gathered around her, Marius sat opposite her, still dressed but without his shoes, there was a fire going in the room so they were both bathed in the firelight, Marius held Cosettes hands in his as they sat together and she told him about her life with her father.
She told him about her childhood, about how she couldn't remember much about her life before her father was there, but she knew she was very unhappy and that people hurt her. She said she remembered being scared all the time, and cold, and that there was pain, and she lived in the dark.
And then her father arrived and then suddenly there was light in her life, and laughter, but most of all there was love.
She told him that after her father was with her life was better, and she was happy then. She told him all the memories she had of her time with him, like when she fell badly one time when she was out walking with him and cut her knee open and he carried her home and bandaged her up, she told him how she would sit on his knee in the evenings and he would read to her and she would fall asleep listening to his voice, she told him how when they were living in the convent she got to spend time with him every day, she would come running into his gardeners hut and he would pick her up into his strong arms and kiss her face all over, she told him how some of the other girls in the convent were jealous because they hardly ever got to see their families and they were mean to her, but it made her feel very lucky as a child that she was able to see her father every day, even for a short time.
She talked long into the night; Marius just sat with her and listened. He comforted her when she would cry and smiled with her when she smiled, he actually really enjoyed listening to these childhood memories, it had honestly never occurred to him how good a man Jean Valjean was and how good he was to Cosette and how much he loved her.
"I know he wasn't my real father, I always knew that". Cosette said confidently. "But I never cared who he was; I just know that he took care of me when I needed it most even though I wasn't his to take care of. I remember once he said to me Don't worry Cosette, I'll keep you safe. And he always did. I never felt safe when I was a child until he was with me".
Cosette paused for a moment and looked at her husband
"I just miss him so much Marius" she said sadly
"I know you do", said Marius wiping away another tear from her face. "You'll always miss him Cosette, but he wouldn't have wanted you to be sad all the time would he?"
"I'm trying not to be sad all the time Marius, really I am". Cosette said "But I don't know how to let go of him and I'm afraid that if I do let go of him I'll forget him, I don't know how to move on and be me again."
"It doesn't work like that Cosette", Marius told her, taking her hands in his again. "We never let go of the people we love, and we never truly forget them either. But we do have to move on otherwise we can never be happy again, and your father wanted you to be happy more than anything else, didn't he?"
Cosette nodded tearfully
"You have to find a place for him in your heart where you can keep him forever, so he'll always be part of you, do you think you can do that?" Marius said
Cosette nodded again and looked down
"I just wish I could tell him I love him again, I don't know if he knew how much I loved him" she said quietly
"Oh Cosette" Marius said, kissing her hands. "He knew, I know he did. You were the most loving daughter anyone could have asked for, he was very lucky to have you and I know he felt very loved by you".
Cosette closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, when she breathed out again she felt as if a huge weight had just been taken off her.
Cosette smiled at her husband, and realised how completely blessed she was to have him at that moment.
"Thank you Marius, and thank you for listening to me tonight, I'm sorry I've been so distant this week, I really wanted to talk to you, but it was like I couldn't find the words inside me, every time I tried It was just too hard. I didn't mean to keep pushing you away".
"Cosette, it's alright, I understand", Marius said, "You don't have to be sorry".
"I love you so much". Cosette said
"I love you too Cosette", replied Marius, looking deep into her eyes. He took her face in his hands and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead and then she let him kiss her on the lips for the first time in days, and it was beautiful. They both felt passion inside themselves again, and passion for each other, they both could tell something had become a barrier between them in the past week but now it felt like it had been lifted, and that could only be a good thing.
When Marius pulled away Cosette looked at him with the most loving expression on her face and she suddenly felt something inside of her that hadn't been there until now.
"Marius?" Cosette asked
"What is it my love?" Marius said
"I think I'm ready." She said shyly
"Ready for wh…" Marius started to say, then he understood what she meant and he looked at her seriously for a moment
Cosette just smiled sweetly back at him
"Are you sure?" he asked, half concerned for her and half hopeful
"I've felt too much pain lately Marius, I need to feel something good in the world again" she told him. "I'm ready to be with you" She said, and she knew she meant it.
