Note : Hey :) I thought some of you might want to know more about Niji and her thoughts so, if you're looking for that, this chap will be the one ;) I feel that some parts are weird, but, I trying to update ASAP, so if there's anything wrong just review ;D Well, hope you'll like it! 3


The past (2) - Dear Diary

Dear diary,

Bright, white lights blinded my eyes...
When everything became clear, I realised I was on a hospital bed.
My family are with me. I can feel Miku holding my hands.
My hands are wet - Miku is probably crying.

"Niji! Niji!" said my parents, their voice full of concern. "Are you alright?".

I nodded slightly and smilled weakly at them.

Miku looked up and gave me a tight hug.

It's been a year since I've been diagnosed with leukemia.

I can't bear to stay in the hospital all day long without anything to do!

It's always so quiet and lonely here.

That's why I always beg the doctors to let me go home for a few days.

But this time, I guess I'll have to stay in the hospital for some time again.

I go through many therapies every week and the doctors are still looking for a cure. They said that it's not impossible to cure leukemia, so I haven't lose hope.

I try to cheer my family up too and they understand that no matter what happens, we have to always move forward and live life to the fullest.

Besides, I believe that even if I pass away, I will still be able to meet my family members, because I believe that I will be reincarnated...

Some people say it's ridiculous but, I don't think so. Everybody has their own way of thinking and have different beliefs and opinions , so, I don't care how they judge me.

I am who I am. Whether you like it or not.

A few days later, my condition was stable again and I was able to return home for a few days.

I finally found out, the whole story behind the people that ganged up on me. A week after I was hospitalised, a girl who wore a long-knitted, white shirt and a long, pale pink skirt, visited me. Her eyes, hidden behind a pair of glasses and a few strands of golden brown hair, were slightly red and swollen.

She explained to me that she was in my year. Her name was Kagaya Miho and I found out that she was one of the school's board of director's daughter. Miho-san explained to me that her parents were disappointed with her grades and grounded her from going out with her friends, until she was able to get first place. But, Niji had always gotten first and there was little chance for Miho. Miho blamed Niji for her lost in contact with her friends and hated her since then.

"One afternoon, when I was walking along the corridor, I heard a group of girls talking about you and I realised that they hated you too," said Miho, her voice shaking.

Miho swallowed a lump in her throat and continued, "...so I suggested to them, 'Why no teach her a lesson?'".

"I-I didn't think it would lead to this," she said, barely able to hold in her tears.

"I'm sorry!" Miho cried out and burst in tears, as she bowed to Niji.

The girl looked so weak. Even if I wanted to hate her... I couldn't.

I knew she was deeply sorry from the bottom of her heart and, I forgave her... from the bottom of my heart...

Miho's heart was filled with mixed feelings - gratefulness, sorrow, regret... When she closed the door behind her, she slid down onto the floor and hid her face behind her hands. Miho thought, " Niji-san looked so frail and weak. Her face pale as paper, her skin dried up, her eyes weary and tired. An-and her I am crying... I'm sorry... I didn't mean for it to happen. If I could turn back time I wouldn't have done it..."

But Niji's soothing words from their conversation before, slowly seeped into Miho's mind. She said, " Please don't feel sorry anymore. The doctors are searching for a cure. I have faith in them. You should have more faith too." Niji smiled as she gently put her arms around Miho. " Look forward, move forward, live on. Don't be held back by your past, regrets, mistakes. Their just another step in learning. No matter what, even if I don't make it now, I'll always be back. Maybe we'll meet again... In our next life." Niji chuckled as she said those words. "I'm still here. Alive and well, so why don't we live our lives to the fullest while we're at it?". Miho smiled. "I'll take it step by step, Niji-san," she said, in a soft gentle whisper.

I'm happy Miho-san visited me. I feel that her visit made things better. I was surprised at my own words... I feel that... that the words I said form the bottom of my heart helped me move another step forward.

Besides Miho, Sayuri, Houtane and Hajime would visit me sometimes too.

Even the students who had ganged up on me, had come quite a few times to apologise.

I could see the regret in their eyes ,so, I tried to cheer them up too.

Everyday still passes normally and happily. I still look forward to new and exciting experiences everyday and I don't give up. I will always try my best to fight this disease! I will not be taken down so easily!

(6.05.2004)
`niji `


Author's note : I know this chap's quite short, but, what I liked most was the diary thing :B If there's any part which is complicated or hard to understand, please tell me, so I'll edit from time to time :) And, do you guys want the description of Niji? I have some but, I'm still unsure when and where I should put it :( Save meee!