Note : (CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS :P ) I wanted to write about everyone's feelings before Niji left to Tokyo and I really like the idea of diary format, so I did this :) I hope you'll like it, since it's really descriptive and emotional. Enjoy! ;)


Feelings

RIKO : Onee-chan's condition has not been stable. I'm so worried. I don't want onee-chan to leave. Please God, let us have more time. More time... We just need time. Please. The doctors are sending her to Tokyo next month. Onee-chan asked me to write a list of things I wanted to do together before she leaves. I want to play chess together, sing at the fields together, have picnics together, play by the streams and rivers together, write some more songs together, learn more about flowers together... I want to do so many things together. But, together won't be very long will it?... Unless it's forever...

(1.07.2004)

SAYURI : The illness is really affecting Niji. She smiles and always says that she's okay but, the mental stress is already working it's way to her mind. Sometimes, when she thinks no one's around, she suddenly breaks into tears, then, suddenly she smiles again and say it's okay to herself. Sometimes she just curl up on the bed - her palm pressing her forehead. I try my best to help her, but, it's too much to take for her. Suddenly being told that you have leukemia because of an incident is too much of a shock. Even if everyone tells you that there's still hope, no matter how much you try to convince yourself, it's just too much. The mental stress... Someone please!.. Please...!. Help her... Even if there's no hope. Even if we all know she going to leave us. Let her at least move on with peace and serenity...

(17.07.2004)

HOUTANE : Everyone goes to the shrine to pray for Niji almost everyday. I'm afraid that she'll break. Niji's always happy and optimistic, but, no matter how positive you are, it can't be helped... She's about to break. She looks so fragile that we're all so scared if anyone says anything wrong, she'll just "collapse and lose herself". She didn't have any outburst in front of us before but, today she suddenly broke down and just stared at the sky. Sometimes, we would go to the roof with her and she would suddenly say "Ah!" and point at the sky. We would ask her what was it and she would always say "Niji," (Rainbow). During her remaining time with us, we spent everyday with her. Every minute of everyday. She needed the support. I just hope there will be someone for her when she's in Tokyo. The doctors said they've arranged for a psychologist to disguise as one of the doctors in-charge of her in Tokyo. They said he was an expertise, so we tried our best to put everything in the doctors' and God's hands.

(31.07.2004)

HAJIME : Niji left yesterday. I wanted to tell my feelings sooner, but she was so unstable and it was not the right time, so I couldn't. I guess I'll have to wait till she's better and comes back. I guess both of us knew each other's feelings but, we didn't say anything to each other - we only talked about studies or argue. I was too late. I hope Niji isn't...

(2.08.2004)


Author's note : So? How was it? I tried adding a little bit of untold intimate feelings between Hajime and Niji here, so kind of push and pull? Was it weird? Review or PM me for ideas or suggestions :) Thanks for reading! 3