" We understand death for the first time when he puts his hand upon one whom we love."- Madame de Stael
The elevator door opens slowly, light pouring in and blinding Maka of her sight but even though she can't see she eagerly runs out, runs out again into another unknown but this time it would lead her to her mother, it would lead her home. Dry grass crunches under maka's feet as she takes her steps forward but at the sight before her she just freezes. This is earth...this is where she lived for 16 years but...this place she's in now is not home, and it reminds her to much of what is below her feet.
She's in a cemetery...a cemetery very familiar to her, it's the same one where her grand mother was laid to rest so many years ago...but this place hasn't changed, as if this place was frozen in time. The dead trees don't look any deader, there is no wind just like on that day all is still, the grass is just as dry. A feeling of gloom grips her heart at being in this place again, she use to fear this place, use to have nightmares about the dead trees grabbing her and dragging her down where her grand mother was, trapped in a box, covered by dirt. These night mares she had as a kid...but even as she got older...she still was and still is terrified of this place...this is the place they were planning on putting her mother..right next to her grand mom...this was the place where they were going to seal her mother away and cover her with dirt...forever trapped...that is...until Maka had taken her place.
Maka's eyes stop looking at the dreadful scenery to look at a just as dreadful scene before her. A small group of people sit in rows of chairs facing away from her all looking ahead to a priest who is speaking on the behalf of the poor being laying in a coffin by his feet...this is definably a funeral...her funeral...she grips her chest, dread overwhelming her heart...I'm in that box...there going to...
"Mortal." the reaper steps out of the elevator, it fades away once he's out like it was never there. He studies the funeral, her funeral with those cold eyes his expression never changing but once his eyes fall on the slightly shaking girl, something changes in the eyes of death, but just as sudden as it came, just as sudden it disappeared. "..do you know these people?" he looks back to the people sitting in the chairs...they look more bored then upset.
"Unfortunately yes." Maka sighs looking at those people...looking at her family. Most of them she hasn't seen since she was five...the rest she hasn't seen since her mother married spirit...it's funny how only death could bring her family together. "There relatives of mine but I would never call them my family...they mind as well be strangers." the dread in her heart is accompanied by anger as she looks at all of those people, memories coming back to her of what they did, or rather, what they didn't do. "...when mom got diagnosed with lung cancer...they didn't do anything...they didn't even come to see her! They stayed in there cozy houses as my mom suffered illness, not bothering to even call!...oh, some sent her some dollar tree "get well" cards...but what the hell is that?...they didn't even care for my mother!...just because she married spirit they dropped her from the family and even in illness they would not even turn there heads to look at my mother with kindness!" Maka grips her fist. She doesn't understand why she's telling the reaper all this...it's not like death will care but she has to speak...has to get her emotions out before she loses it. "...they come only in death...only to save them selves of guilt...they don't care for my mother..they don't care about me."
The reaper stares at her being silent, letting her speak before looking back ahead. His expression never changes. "They are disgusting." Maka looks over at him surprised at him suddenly speaking. "Mortals are veil, hateful creatures but...even a murder is kind to his family...if these people can not even be kind to their kin then how can they be kind to anyone but them selves? All of them are selfish and the words you speak are true. I can see right through there dark souls." he looks at maka from the corner of his eye. "...but you have much disdain for them...they have black souls but you are darkening your own with your anger towards them."
"..." Maka sets her jaw and averts her gaze. She could not help it. They had abandoned her mother in her time of need...these people would not even send them money...her family would go hungry some nights because they didn't have the money for food...all the money they had went to her mother...but even with all there money they could not afford the treatments...her family suffered poverty and illness while they ate like fat pigs in there warm houses, not even offering the scraps that you would feed to a dog to there family.
"...come, let us see your mother." the reaper grabs her hand gently pulling her past the couple rows of those...strangers...bring her closer to the front, closer to the coffin...as they past a man, she thinks her angle?...he looks over towards them causing maka to freeze in her tracks...can he see us? The man seems to stare at her a moment before looking back to the front. "Don't worry." the reaper starts to pull her again. "The living can not see us nor hear us."
Maka isn't listening to him, her eyes scan all the people searching desperately for the face of her beautiful mother. She finally finds her...and her heart sinks. Her mother sits in the first row of chairs, the closest one to the open coffin. Her mother's face is...a deathly pale, dark bags are under her eyes ruining her beautiful face...her hair that even when sick she kept in good condition, is messy, all over the place and unbrushed. Her dull green eyes look at the coffin, there slightly shaking just like the rest of her body. Those beautiful eyes are swollen...red out ling them...what has happen?...when she left her mother had color! Her mother looked like how she did before she was sick...Maka can't even explain in words how much pain...how much it hurts to see her mother like this when she expected something more, something that would make the horrible fate of being stuck with death worth the while...she gave her life so her mother could have her color back, so that she would not be in pain...so that she could live...yet here maka is dead and her mom looks the same if not worse then when she was sick...she looks as if she's about to die again.
"You...you said she would be cured of her illness!" Maka turns on the reaper, her eyes burning wanting to blame this on something else, wanting him to fix this, to restore her.
"And she is." he looks at her blankly. "...the state she's in is caused by sadness, not illness."
Maka looks back down at her mother, a deep frown on her face... this isn't what she wanted...she didn't want her to be the cause of her mother being in this state...this isn't what she gave her soul for. She lets go of the reaper's hand and walks closer to her mother making sure not to look into the coffin as she passes it. He just watches her, letting her go.
"Mom..." Maka looks at her mother's trembling form and her voice cracks. She doesn't look up at her, doesn't acknowledge her. "..it's ok...don't be sad...I'm right here...it's ok." she reaches out to touch her mother, to offer some comfort but her hand just goes through her, her mother not even moving from the gesture as she takes her hand out of her.
"She can't see, hear, or feel you." the reaper comments walking closer to maka, the girl is shaking like her mother.
"Hun could you stop shaking like that? Your making me nervous." Maka looks over her mom and she can feel her blood boil...spirit sits next to her mother holding her hand.
"Sorry dear." her mom mumbles weakly, her swollen eyes look over at him. "I can't help it."
"I understand." Maka moves from her mother's side to stand in front of spirit, her fist clenched in rage at seeing this man. Like her mother spirit is pale but unlike her mother maka does not care. He looks every where but the coffin and when his eyes fall on it they quickly scat away in guilt.
"You...piece of shit." Maka leans so she's in the man's face, her eyes burning. "You weren't even there! You didn't come to my 16th birthday... for what? To get drunk!...you weren't there for mom even when you saw how much pain she was in, even though you saw how much she needed you!...you weren't there for us." Maka sees then a dark hickey on his neck, barely being cover by his long red hair, rage is all she feels. "You fucking bastard! How can you even do that to mom?! How can you sit there at my funeral with a fucking hickey on your neck with out dying from guilt?! Please just drop dead, just drop dead!" she pants loudly. She wants to hurt this man, make him suffer for what he does.
"Mortal stop." she feels a hand on her shoulder, it gripping her tightly. Maka looks over at the reaper, her eyes still showing the fire of hate in her heart. "They can feel strong emotions like anger...and hate. You probably just dropped the temperature around that man." Spirit looks around an eye brow raised as he rubs his arms, his eyes looking panicked.
"I don't want him to just feel this, I want him to hear all the fucking things I have to say to him!" Maka takes a step forward just for the reaper to pull her back.
"Calm yourself or I will have to remove you from here." he pulls her back to her mother looking at her sternly. "Your tainting your soul even more with your hate. Quell it before it's to late."
"Now is the time for all to come up and to look at maka...to pay your respects to her before she is placed in her final resting place." the priest puts down a bible he was reading from, looking at his audience. "Remember, do not be sad for this is a celebration! For this day this girl is not being placed in the ground, her body may be but her soul is in heaven, enjoying the after life, serving the lord our god. Let us rejoice and be glad! The girl's suffering is over."
"Sad isn't it? How even priests don't know what they are talking about." the reaper comments as everyone stands. "But then again what else can he say? All mortals want to hear there loved one is in heaven even if it isn't true. Mortal's like to think hell is not a possibly but in reality it's more then likely."
Maka doens't care for the boys words, her eyes are glued to her mother as she walks up to the coffin with her. She doesn't want to look. To look would make it real...but... Maka follows her mother's gaze, her breath catching...she had to look.
There she lays...her hands on top one another on her chest, her eyes closed and her face pale...this was her...this was her body...but here it lays before her in a wooden box, lifeless. Maka's throat is dry...she knows she is dead but to see her body...it made it all the more real, all the more terrifying.
She's dead.
She's about to be put into the ground, into the ground next to her grand mother.
Forever in a wooden box left underground just to decay, just to be eaten by worms.
Maka's teeth chatter, chills being sent down her spine at seeing the body, her body.
"Oh maka..." Spirit mumbles bitterly griping his fist and turning his head from the sight.
"..." her mother just stares down at her body, her eyes becoming glossy as she takes out something from her pocket. It's the neckless her mother had given her for her birthday...her last present...her parting gift. The gem shines as she undo the chain, she reaches down and with shaky hands puts it around maka's cold neck. Spirit looks back down his mouth slightly open from seeing the jewel, maka's mouth doing the same for a different reason.
"Mom!"
"Kami!" spirit takes a step forward looking at the jewel in disbelief. "Why are you putting something like that on her?...and why haven't you shown me this before? We could use that to pay for this funeral and are bills!"
"This is not mine to sell." her mother doesn't look at spirit as she just stares down at maka's body. "I gave this to her...for her birthday...this belongs to her...my baby." her voice is so soft...so weak. It breaks maka's heart.
"Honey." spirit gets closer, his eyes slightly watering. "...I know how upset you are...you know how upset I am...but leaving that neckless in maka's grave wont be actually giving it to her...you know are baby isn't really there." he leans closer to her mother, who is just staring at her lifeless body, unresponsive to him. "...you know we didn't even have the money for this... baby if we don't find some way to pay are bills, we will lose are house! We will be left on the streets! Who would we even turn to for help?...you know your family won't help us. Please think about what your doing, that neckless could save us." he whispers desperately close to her mother's ear, maka knowing he does so, so that the other family doesn't hear. Her mother just keeps staring down not answering, not caring.
"Mom..." Maka gets even closer as if that would make her hear her words. "I know how important this neckless is to you, I know you gave it to me...but please don't leave it with my body, don't leave it with my body to rot." she trembles at how still...at how sad her mother is. "Please take it off of me...don't leave it on me."
"Kami please." spirit leans closer when she doesn't respond to him.
"Just a few days ago...I put this neckless around my 16 year old daughter...just a few days ago I held her hand in mind...just a few days ago she told me she would always treasure this neckless." her mother speaks monotone, like she is speaking to herself rather then to someone else.
"I will always treasure it mom!" tears threaten maka's eyes.
"Baby...we can't think of that now. Maka is gone. She is not here. We must think of what is best for us." spirit looks at her, his tired eyes shaking.
"Where...where is my baby girl?" her mother's question is not more then a whisper.
"I'm right here mom!...please take the neckless, don't leave it with me."
"In heaven." spirit puts a hand over hers. "Please Kami... we need it."
"Mom...I did not die for you to be thrown into the streets! Please take it off me!" maka grips her head, this was all becoming to much for her.
"..." her mother stares at the dead body a moment before something changes in her eyes, she reaches back in and takes the neckless off, both to maka's and spirits's relief. She looks at it a long moment before placing it back in her pocket. "We will not sell it."
"But Kami-
"I can work now. That is how we will pay are bills but I am never selling this...this neckless is maka's, no other person will wear this." she steps away from the coffin, other family members taking her spot to look down at the body, some place flowers down but that's it. Her mother sits back down in her chair, her eyes looking down at her pocket.. "..this neckless has new meaning."
"I never did understand why mortals put things into a coffin." the reaper states as he watches everyone sit back down. "it's not like they will take it with them."
"They like to think that they are or at least they know of what they left for them." Maka watches as a group of men come forward carrying a heavy lid...the lid to her coffin...they are going to seal her up...this is it. "It helps make them feel they are doing something for that person." Maka continues to speak trying to calm her nerves as she watches the men put the lid on top of the coffin, on top of her. Maka's body shakes, she can't help it.
"Do you wish to leave now?" he studies her . "you don't have to watch this."
"No." Maka looks over at her mother, her shaking dying down just a little. "I want to be here for my mom...she needs me."
"...as you wish." He looks away from her as the men start to secure the lid, Maka's heart beats against her ribs. Her mother is holding her head now, her eyes closed mumbling things to herself and rocking back and forth. She wants to reach out and comfort her...but she can't.
She's dead.
"Look at her, she's really about to lose it."
"She already lost her mind since she married that mistake of a man."
"Don't you think it's ironic how her daughter pays for her sins?"
Those people whisper among themselves, talking about her mother...speaking ill of a women who just lost her child. A deep, deep anger burns within maka as she turns to face these people.
"Don't you dare speak of my mother like that! You all can go to hell!" she grinds her teeth and takes a step forward. She hates them, she hates them all.
"Baby..." spirit grabs a hold of her mother, holding her close to his chest. The softness of his voice makes maka pause in her rage to look at him. "Remember? That isn't maka, maka isn't there. Right now are baby is flying with the angels, she's in paradise hun...remember that?"
Maka's expression softens at seeing her mom nod weakly at spirit as everyone stands, walking over to a deep hole in the ground to watch the coffin that is being lowered down...she despises spirit but at seeing him comfort her mother where she couldn't...the fire of hate that burns so bright in her heart died down a little. Maka walks slowly next to her mother, the reaper following behind her quietly. A whirl wind of emotions bats her heart around as she walks closer to the hole in the ground, the place where her body is to be laid. She's terrified, sad, and sicken all at the same time but she can't bring herself to leave, to leave her mother. Maka knows her mother is feeling the same way...even though she is no longer in that body, the point is she was in that body and now it would be a victim of decay, the body which she lived in will now become the home of maggots...tell me...would that thought not cause your teeth to chatter and your knees to feel weak? Maka takes a deep breath before looking down into the hole, the coffin being completely lowered.
"Is it strange?" the reaper comes close to her peering down into her resting place with a blank expression as dirt is slowly thrown back into it. "To see this? To see the body which you possessed to be put into a hole?"
"...it's scarey." Maka grips her heart, for every pound of dirt that hits her coffin, fear pounds all the more against her being. The dead trees curve in around them reminding maka of her nightmares as a child, they look as if they are reaching out to her, reaching out to claim her...and they are. They have her body, her fate is sealed.
"It's not her...it's not her." her mother mumbles closing her eyes as the final pound of dirt is thrown in, closing the hole, closing maka within it.
"This celebration of this girl's beginning in the after life is now over. May god bless you all, and may this young girl still be alive in your hearts and mind." the priest preaches loudly before taking his leave. Her mother walks up and falls on her knees in front of the small tomb stone.
" Here lies Maka Albarn,a true angel and daughter to her family"
spirit walks up close to her, looking down at the small stone and it's words with glossy eyes. The rest of the people there don't say anything to maka's mother or to spirit, maka watches them just leave. She hates them all.
"Kami...it's time to go home." spirit looks at his wife his words soft. Her mother just shakes her head in response, her eyes still glued to the small stone. "...I'm going home Kami, I can't stay here any longer...it's just to..." he trails off griping his heart.
"I understand, I'll be home in a bit."
"...if I'm not home when you come back I probably went to work ok?"
"...ok."
The hate that had died down burns forth with more then before...her father does not work nights...that she knows for a fact. He's lying, he's going to leave her mother alone.
"You son of a bitch." Maka growls walking up so she's right next to him, she's shaking in rage. "Your going to leave her! Leave her right after my funeral!...how can you even do that? Do you not care at all for my mother? Do you enjoy this? Seeing her like this? Tell me do you like it you sick fuck!" she swings on him, just for her to go completely through him, but that doesn't stop her . She just keeps punching him, wishing she was solid.
"Mortal." the reaper takes a step forward, he glares at her. " I warned you once."
"Bye Kami."
"Bye spirit." Maka watches as that sorry excuse for a man walks away, his shoulders slumped. She wants to follow him, wants to haunt his ass and make his life miserable but...she turns around to look at her sadden mother...her mother needs her.
"So hateful..." the reaper looks at her as she walks up, her bangs covering her eyes. He's judging her again. She doesn't care. "Is hell not enough of a scare to stop your hate? Your ruining your soul you foolish girl."
She doesn't care.
"This doesn't make sense..." her mother's eyes shake as she takes out the neckless griping it in her hand. Maka moves and kneels by her, waiting silently for her mother to continue. "..my baby...is gone...but I'm..." she grabs her head, her breathing turns more heavy. "Why...why has this happen to me?...what have I done to deserve this?" her mother looks up to the sky, tears slowly steaming down her face. "Do you hate me god?" Maka's heart sinks completely at seeing those tears...she has never seen her mother cry, never ever even with such a painful disease and with knowing she was going to do die, she never cried. She always stayed positive but here she was, tears falling down her face, tears for her. Maka feels the tears fall down her own face,...this isn't what she wanted...she gave her life away for her mother to be happy...to be alive...but she's crying...she's hurt...and maka's dead. "...why have you done this to me..?...I excepted my death...I dealt with my illness and I never once blamed you for it...but you cured me...just to take my daughter from me?...to take my joy from me?...why do you hate me so?...why didn't you take me?...why did you steal my baby away from me?...why have you forsaking me?" her mother's tears keep falling, her voice cracking.
"Mom I had to do it!" Maka cries to her mother, the tears falling harder now. "I couldn't let you die! You deserve to live, to be happy!...how could I just let death take you? Your cured now...and I'm ok mom, I'm ok because your ok...don't cry please don't cry." she's trembling so bad.
"..." the reaper looks between the two, his expression doesn't change but the look in his eyes does...it almost looks like pity, but that can't be. Death doesn't pity anything.
" it's hard to believe this is actually real...that your actually gone maka...it doesn't make sense...I was suppose to go! You just turned 16!...it was your birthday! You were taken from me on your brithday!...just why?...why did you leave me?..." her mother sobs loudly, hugging herself, her tears falling down to the dry grass.
"I didn't want to leave you but I had to!...don't you see?..." Maka trys to touch her mother but her hand just goes through, she can't touch her, can't comfort her. "Please...don't be sad, don't cry. You can live your life now mom...you don't have to be stuck to a couch for the rest of your life." she keeps trying to touch her, to feel her but she keeps going through. "Remember?... you use to tell me of a dream of you traveling around the world?...you can do that now mom...you can see the world...you can have your dreams. don't be sad, you have your whole life ahead of you...please stop crying."
"What should be a miracle has turned into a nightmare...id rather suffer death then this...oh my baby girl what has happen to you?...where are you? Are you safe? Are you loved?...oh maka why?" her mother holds her hands in her face, her shoulders shaking in spasms.
"Please...I did it for you...please stop crying, please mom..." she tries to hug her, to hold her close to show her that she's here and that she can hear her but she just falls through. Her mom suddenly stops crying her hands coming off her face to reveal her large wide eyes.
"M-Maka...is that you?" her mother looks around, Maka noticing her breath is now visible. Maka's heart leaps for joy. Can she feel me? Does she know I'm here?
"It's me mom! I'm here!" Maka keeps going back and forth through her mother, though it feels weird she wants her mother to know that it's her, that it's ok.
"If it's you, if your who I'm feeling...please show me a sign that you are alright baby...please show me a sign." her mother looks around desperately.
"I'm stopping this now." the reaper growls before grabbing a hold of maka, riping her away from her mother and pulls her away. "I told you, no interfering with the living! I told you this before we came! Do you want my wrath girl?"
"Maka? Maka?! Where did you go?!" her mother gets panicked once her breath is no longer visible and she stands up looking around desperately. "Please don't leave! I just felt you!"
"Mom!" Maka screams as loud as she can hoping her mother would some how hear it as she struggles with the reaper. "Get your hands off me! My mother can sense me! Maybe we can communicate!"
"That is not allowed!" he growls holding her down
"Mom I'm right here!" she screams.
"That is it." he puts a hand over her eyes and she feels her body move, though she can't see. She screams for her mother, screams for her to know she is there, screams for death to let her go. The reaper finally lets go of her, but once she can see again, her heart sinks. She's back in that hotel suit room...the room that was suppose to be hers...but this is not her home. Maka falls to her kneels in dismay.
"You...you took me away from my mother...I was about to talk to her..." she looks over at death her eyes watering. "Why, why would you do that?"
"You did not listen to me." he looks down at her coldly. "You disobeyed me, did you forget who you belong to? I did you a kindness and you repay me with disobedience."
"...but my mom...you..." maka can't find her words, she is to upset to even talk right. She trembles as she stands up, her knees shaking from her weakness. "...you really couldn't let me speak to her?...it's not like I would ever see her again!...you stole me from my mother with out me being able to give her a descent good bye! You saw the state of my mother...she needed me, she needed a explanation!"
"That is not my problem." he looks at her coldly. "We have rules, and this was your decision. You are the one you decided this fate, you are the one who took my hand in exchange for your mother. So why do you look at me like I'm the bad guy? If you would have just let me take your mother this wouldn't be happening, your mother would have died but she wouldn't have to deal with the lost of her child, and you wouldn't have to deal with this fate but you chose this."
"...I did this for her! So she could have a life!..." she growls, her eyes burning.
"Not much of a life is it?" his yellow eyes lock unto hers . "you have given your life up just for your mother to have a life of sorrow and now she blames god. Your actions may have just doomed her soul."
"Get out." Maka points to the door, her bangs covering her eyes. She's trembling. She can't deal with this. Can't deal with him. "Get out now."
The reaper looks at her a moment before turning away from her. "As you wish...mortals don't like to hear the truth do they?...I'll be back for you later, me and you have work to do." he walks out of the room and shuts the red door behind him. Maka runs to it and locks the door after him, though she doesn't know what a locked door would do against death it still makes her feel better. She slams her back against the door, tears falling down her cheeks as she slides down the door till she's to the floor. Maka brings her knees to her chest and hugs them. This...is her fate...she gave up everything and her mother is sad...she saw her mother cry...she saw her body be put into the ground...she saw her mother's life is not any better. She's stuck to death...she belongs to death...the boy so cold to her was who she would be with forevermore...the tears fall down more...she's alone here...the angels don't like her...hell is here...demons are here...and she's stuck here. This is her fate. This is what she chose and yet she could gladly deal with it if her mother was happy...but to see her tears, it stings her heart so bad...yet even with all the bad her decision has caused, she can't bring her self to regret it. Her mother is sad yes, but she is also alive and can walk, she did not cough once...and maka hopes that soon time will heal her heart and restore her to life...that will make this all the worth while...she could handle it then...but once she thinks of her mothers tears...Maka's tears fall down faster on her face as she hugs her knees closer to her chest...what's going to happen to me?...will I ever let her see her mom again?...what would happen when he comes back?...she wish he wouldn't come back. She doesn't want to see him anymore, doesn't want to see those eerie eyes any more...but she knows she will...that she's stuck to him...the skull on her hand is the symbol of that...the symbol of her fate that like he said, she had chose. There's to much to think about...it hurts her head...she just wants to lay down...Maka stands up and walks over to the large bed, she climbs on top of it weakly her tears staining the sheets. she wonders what her mother is doing right now...she wonders what death is doing right now...she wonders what work they will have to do...she wonders if her mother is thinking about her right now as she is thinking about her. She wonders if her mother will ever forgive her. Maka's head hurts more as she brings the covers over her, her body trembling...she doesn't want to think any more...she wants to sleep, just to sleep forever and not to deal with all this, with the guilt, with angels, demons, death, or hell and heaven. She wants to be back home and be in her mother's arms, she wants to awaken in her arms like this is all a bad dream. But she knows it isn't. She is stuck in this room, in this place, in limbo forever under death.
That is her fate, the fate that she chose.
Author's note:...I got sad writing this but this chapter is done. Tell me what you think of it, I don't know if I did such a good job with this one but I tried. Poor maka :(...until next time. I thought it would be cool to add a quote I think it fits nicely, well see you later.
