Hetalia © Hidekaz Himaruya
OCs © reaper-of-lost-souls
A/N: Well I decided to post another chapter because I've actually been working on the story, if you could believe it ^^' Either way I actually like where I'm going with this, but this story may get long. So here's the next chapter and I hope you enjoy! (mainly reviewing out of boredom, but better to post something up than do nothing with the story and have writer's block ^^)
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When Zavid woke up he let out a tired yawn, shuffling out of bed and shutting off the alarm. He went to the bathroom and went through his routine; putting contacts into his eyes and putting his suit on before closing his bedroom door and walked down the hallway. He paused, grumbling under his breath when he noticed his country was still standing at the door, a cold purple aura radiating from his body as he heard the mumbles 'kolkolkol~' leaving his breath where he stood. Zavid shook his head. Mr. Braginski should have known what would happen if he engages too personally with another person, especially the secretary for America for crying out loud! What was he thinking?! Zavid kept his distance, but crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall casually. "Sir," he exclaimed in Russian, trying to get the man's attention, "I'm making breakfast. Anything in particular you want –"
"Нет," Ivan answered roughly, "whatever you want I will eat."
"Good, good," Zavid nodded, thinking to himself as his eyes wandered to the ground. "… Sir," he began again, trying to get the man to talk to him, "your heart fell on the ground again –"
"Leave it be," he mumbled, Zavid sighing as he shook his head and pushed himself off of the wall.
"I'll make supper then. Be in the dining room in fifteen more minutes. We have a long day today meeting with Mr. Carriedo at eight, Mr. Łukasiewicz at eleven, and with Eduard Von Bock at two. Should be done by five o'clock tonight and have time to have some supper before bedtime… Make sure you've composed yourself before breakfast. You need to keep your demeanor when talking with Spain. We need him to be our allies –"
"Fine," Ivan responded, Zavid waiting for more, but once he noticed the country wasn't going to say anything he left the hallway and let Russia be. The man let out a tired sigh, the gloom still hovering over his head as he stared through the peephole out into the brightening sky. The day will be filled with sunshine today, but all he felt was a deepening lump in his stomach that would not go away. Bending down Ivan picked up his heart, the large organ that was bigger than his own hand thumping deeply in his gloves. He stared at the many cuts and bruises on his bloody heart, seeing the blood spurting out on his face. He didn't care and let a tired sigh escape his lips, thrusting his heart back into his chest as if this happened daily and turned to clean himself up for breakfast.
Then his eyes fell upon the sunflower sitting contently atop a counter, his heart falling back onto his hand as he stared at the plant basking in the sunlight. Ivan bit down on his bottom lip, surpassing his emotions as he reached for the pot and picked up the flower. He noticing a note attached to the inside of the glass and opened the plant to the elements, looking down and noticing the note was in Russian:
'Dear Ivan,
'This sunflower was grown from the plains of America and one of best we've picked so far. Flowers are like the dewfall. They do not last forever, but I wish you well if you keep this flower and savor its sweet smell during your stay here. If you keep the sunflower in its container and plug in the cord attached to the small sun insulator the sunflower will grow and grow until it can grow no more. If you place a bunch of ice cubes on top of the soil, enough to cover the dirt, once every two days the plant will be able to grow without much help. Just let the plant sit next to the window, even if the day is cloudy, and the insulator will keep the plant warm even throughout the winter.
'Ivan, I give you this sunflower with the full confidence that you can keep this flower bright and happy. The seeds can be used to replace this flower once it dies, for everything must come to an end of a life. Same goes for a sunflower and for any other sort of living being. Even if I'm gone the flowers will still be there every season, so do not worry. You told me how you worry about the plants dying in the fall. They always return in the spring, that is why there's spring! Without that winter we would never enjoy the warm weather spring brings every year. I just hope, Ivan, that you enjoy this sunflower as much as I enjoyed growing and unearthing it. I pray you stay in good health and keep yourself strong. If I am to depart I hope to see you again in the near future. Thank you for talking with me, Ivan Braginski. I barely have anyone at home that I would even consider being a potential friend and you are someone who I feel will always be near and dear to my heart.
'~ -insert-your-name-'
He hadn't noticed the tear falling down his cheek until it fell upon the paper. Ivan quickly sniffed it away and put the glass back around the sunflower, cradling the flower in his arms as he rushed down the hallway and slammed the door behind him.
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Giving Alfred a wave you left him at the meeting, your head turning to come into contact with Ivan's before you left. A frown was on your face as you turned your back, biting down on your bottom lip as you left the meeting room, walked down the hallway, and down the stairs. Ever since that night Ivan wouldn't even look at you. Did you go too far? You shook your head and sighed. It had been weeks since the incident and you could tell your depression were showing through your outward masquerade. You promised yourself you wouldn't let this get you down and tried to shrug off the feelings, but having to smile and laugh every day with other people was taking your toll on you. You left Ivan in such a way that even stunned yourself, but the look in his eyes reminded you of an angry bear and if you stayed he may have done something worse than shove you into a wall. You've come across men like that before, even your own family members to be perfectly honest, and you never wanted to get hurt from someone like that again. You learned from your psychology classes that you can't leave a relationship in the middle of the fight, but if you stayed you would have gotten hurt. He scared you, you had to admit internally, but you'd never tell Ivan that and not even Alfred. You never told him you went to Russia's house that night before you moved all your stuff into America's house. That was something you kept to yourself, and it seemed Ivan had kept the fight to himself also.
You pulled on the strap over your shoulder, the 'clinks' and 'clanks' of the items in your backpack making sounds as you walked while you made your way out of the city and into the countryside. It was interesting how close this city was to the rolling hills and hiking trails. The walking was just what you needed to get out of your depression and it was Alfred who advised you to go during your free time. It was odd to have your boss tell you to go out and hike, but you went nonetheless and you were glad you did. There were still a few plants growing around the trail before the chilling air could catch up to them and killed everything. You wondered if Ivan liked the sunflower. He always liked talking about sunflowers once you spoke that your family would grow them from time to time… but why are you thinking about that? Stop that! Just stop!
You snarled as you walked, grumbling a curse in Russian as you continued down the trail. You had to stop thinking about him. It's over, over! Maybe once the government stopped having their eyes on you you could try to presume Ivan again… but… you didn't want to wait. You knew that if you left him this way before you returned to the states you won't see him again. Not even see his happy grin, his bright purple eyes lighting up when he saw you… You liked him, you admitted to yourself, you actually liked him, but you can't do this to yourself! You can't let yourself get hurt again! Too many relationships have been broken because you trusted someone too much, and your heart smashed when they either betrayed you or ended up dead for your sake. You couldn't help yourself. A tear fell down your cheek as your eyes gazed down to the rocky ground. You hated how the event went down, but it happened. There's no turning back now, and Ivan was being insensitive! You explained everything and he wanted you to leave. Why? Why would he do that?!
You looked up, your eyes lighting up once you came upon a field filled with flowers. "Oh… my god…" you gasped, looking around making sure no one had been following you until you ran into the field and let childish giggles escape your lips. You picked Autumn Crocus and Redshanks, Daisies and White Clovers. You had gathered so many flowers in your hand that you hadn't noticed how far you had run out into the field, eventually sitting down under a tree as you let out a sigh and set the flowers down by your side. "Now let's see…" you mumbled under your breath, pulling out a journal. You began to press the flowers you had found between the pages, a content smile on your face as you set the most beautiful of the plants inside while your mind wandered back to your home. Your home… You missed them, oh how you missed them, but that was the past. You can't be there all the time now and you knew that. Especially now. You now know that the government was keeping an eye on you… like your distant relatives… You didn't want to think about them, those Russians, and just wanted to stay happy and content.
You pulled out your water bottle and had your fill, flipping through your journal to other pressed in flowers that had writings of their species and where you had gathered them from. This had all started as a simple project in class and evolved into a hobby you liked to do when you wanted to take your mind off of problems, mainly to relieve stress and anger. It did help, you knew that, but you wanted to know why Ivan was so mean to you, why he told you to leave in such a rough way. It reminded you when your father would be stern with you and you didn't like it one bit. There was nothing you could do, you remembered, when your father was that mad. You just had to let the man be, and that's what you would do with Ivan until he decided to see you or simply forget about you. You didn't want to forget him, but there were other problems that will probably arise and to have Russia close to you may become problematic in the future. Alfred was right, you had to let Ivan go, but in your heart you didn't want to say goodbye even when your mind said you must. Ivan came after your assignment so your assignment came first; sadly, you had to admit, your assignment came first before Ivan did.
Speaking of assignment you took out a large book and set your plant book back into your bag, deciding it was best to read up on your history lessons in case the questions arose. You had your fair share of history and you would never say you didn't know something, but since you'll be corresponding with other countries for a while you should know what you're talking about. So you slowly read through your old history book, highlighting bullet points you saw to be important and making notes on the side to refer back to later. Yet as time went on you let your eyes droop, clutching the book against your chest as you slumped against the tree. You had protection if someone decided to come by and try something funny, but you suddenly felt exhausted and just wanted to sleep… and forget about that Ivan and his country for the time being.
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Dark purple eyes stared at the countries across the table, a smirk appearing on Ivan's face when he managed to scare little Raivis as the little nation ducked behind Toris. Coward, he thought, and Latvia could be just the thing to get his mind off of that secretary… He shook his head, looking up at Alfred with a glare as he was talking, oblivious to the fact that Ivan was glaring at him in annoyance. It was his fault Ivan and you couldn't spend any more time together and sadly Ivan knew that. His eyes glazed down at his notebook, noticing the doodles of random little sunflowers and a few hearts here and there on the page. He hated these meetings. They seemed to keep going and going and there were still three hours till everything was over. With all those countries there Ivan couldn't get his thoughts into the conversations, but even if he wanted to Ivan didn't feel like it today. He felt rather feverish for weeks now, but the other countries didn't seem to notice so that was a good thing. Watching a verbal fight escalating across the table from him Ivan decided it was time for a break, gathering his papers and folders into his suitcase and getting up to leave the room. He gave one last devious grin to Latvia before leaving the room, a few murmurs coming from the other countries wondering why Russia was leaving, but was quickly forgotten once America said some outrageous comment and England slapped him across the head.
Walking outside Ivan felt the chill of winter in the air, narrowing his eyes at the wind as he turned on his heel and began to walk down the cobblestone sidewalk. At times like this a walk was always in order, and hopefully he wouldn't run into Zavid in the meantime. Whenever he did Ivan would have to go back to the meeting, so he hustled through the city until he came upon a dirt road. He liked how Vash had a beautiful countryside right next to the city and Ivan wondered if he would try invading the country in the future. His boss would probably be against the idea, but it honestly wasn't a bad thing. Ivan hummed as he walked, trying to get his mood up as he skipped along the trail. It was great to see that some of the flowers hadn't died from General Winter yet. Oh how he hated that man, how the flowers would die and turn to frost before the snow settled along the hills. He wanted to grab that wind by its head and wring its little neck off, but Ivan knew that was impossible. General Winter had been around long before he was and nothing he could do would stop the weather from killing his perfect little plants. Ivan pouted, thinking of the sunflower you had given him. The letter that followed made him sad and he hated the feeling in his chest whenever he thought about you. Ivan wished the pain would stop, but he knew it never would. He'd just have to go through life with another mark on his heart, another pain that will never go away –
He paused, noticing a figure against a tree out in the middle of a dying field of flowers. Ivan raised an eyebrow, wondering why someone would be out here while the frost was beginning to freeze the flowers and even the grass around. He decided to investigate, stepping off of the field and making his way across the flowers towards the person sleeping against the tree bark. He suddenly felt a knot in his chest, watching as you slept soundly against the tree with a book on top of your chest and against the side of your face. Ivan smiled. You looked so peaceful sleeping, and then he began to wonder how long you had been out there. Your face had become a little red due to the cold, but other than that you seemed fine… fine… You were doing well without him.
A dark purple gloom began to hang over his head as he realized you were doing well without him. Maybe that was the intention all along and to have you feeling better without him… Ivan didn't like that one bit. He decided to pick up the book you were reading and look at its contents, raising an eyebrow again once he noticed you had been reading a world history book. There were a lot of different highlighted marks and notes along the side, the man deciding to set his suitcase down and sit down against the bark of the tree beside you. The bright yellow highlighter seemed to be about America, his involvement in world affairs and etcetera. There were a lot of notes you had written about the man, using big words Ivan didn't know how to pronounce in English, but he quickly realized they were psychologist terms and relational dialectics. You were trying to make sense of how America fit into the small little group of countries he was with and why certain countries acted cold towards him, most countries actually. Ivan frowned, noticing you had put a lot of your attention during the Cold War and his bickering between him and Alfred.
Then something else intrigued him, the fact that you seemed to take the time to look up Russia's history too. You talked about how sad it was, in a footnote, that the undeveloped country was under the Mongol's rule and how that must of changed the man as he grew up. How cold and vast the country is, but in the current events the economy is down and how no one wants to live in Siberia. You continued to wonder how that would affect the country and something else caught Ivan's eye, you wrote in the back pages wondering why Ivan sent you away instead of tried to work out the situation. He suddenly felt bad. This whole time you had been trying to figure out why he was mad at you while he tried to avoid you. It was maddening, that's for sure, and the country didn't know what to do as he flipped through the pages and wondered what you were dreaming about. Something else fascinated him, how you had spent a lot of your time energy on the monarchies, especially the Russian monarchy: how it rose, fell, and especially the ending with Nicholas II. Ivan pouted when he read the footnote: 'How could this happen?' and 'Who had survived?' Survive? No one survived that massacre. Ivan had seen it for himself… everyone died. How could you think someone had survived? That made no sense!
Ivan flinched, watching as you shifted and your head fell onto the ground. You mumbled something in Russian that he couldn't hear, but as he looked closer he noticed a worried look on your face. You seemed to be sweating and your breaths became heavier. "Nightmare?" he thought aloud, closing the book and setting it beside his knee. The country gently wrapped his arms around you and pulled your head up onto his lap, running his gloves through your hair as you mumbled random words in agony. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe you weren't okay after all. Ivan took off a glove from one of his hands and ran his bare hand through your hair, your mumbles slowly ceased as a smile replaced the look of hurt and pain on your face. He smiled. You seemed a lot happier with his hand resting atop your head, his eyes looking up to the pale blue sky as gray clouds fluttered overhead. Ivan hadn't realized how tired he was till he closed his eyes and felt the breeze along his slightly exposed neck, a content sigh escaping his lips as he wished this moment would last forever.
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"B-but папа," you mumbled in Russian, "why do you have to leave? старшая сестра why do you have to go too? –"
"We must дочь," your father responded, kneeling down and running a hand through your hair. "Please расцвет, this is for the good of our family. You remember what I told you about family, right?"
"Family is your number one priority and if something threatens your family you must rid that evil away," you answered back, but your eyes were still confused as you stared up at him, "but папа, I don't want you to leave. Why do you have to go to Russia? Дедушка told us to never go back there. It's bad if we go back to Russia."
"Pасцвет," your father frowned, "you must understand that we must go to protect you, you and little Gregory and even your большой брат Nicholas." You watched as your father's face darkened, causing you to take a step back, but you continued to stare at him with determination in your eyes hoping he'd see things your way. You had a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach and you didn't want to see them leave. Not now, not yet. "…Pасцвет, what are we?"
"We are -insert-last-name- папа –"
"Not only that," he smirked slyly, putting his hands on your shoulders, "but we are Romanowski–-insert-last-name-, right?"
"R-right папа!" you nodded happily, your eyes lighting up as he gave you a grin and rustled up your hair.
"Хорошо," he smiled, a frown coming onto your face has his hand left the top of your head to look over at someone behind you. "We must be going дочь. Come," he said roughly, a taller woman running past you as your eyes stared in shock and you began to run towards them.
"Wait папа!" You gasped in shock as you were suddenly pulled back, "Take me with you! Please don't leave me, please! I don't want you to go! –"
You gasped, your eyes bolting open as you heard a ringing in your ear. You let a groan escape your lips, pushing your body off of the ground and looking over with your head in your hand. Your eyes widened in shock, noticing Ivan next to you, even more shocking was that you had been sleeping on his lap. When did that happen?! You watched as he cracked open an eye and looked over at you, his eyes quickly opening once he noticed you were awake. You stared at him confused, but shook your head to answer the ringing coming from the phone in your pocket. "Yes?" You answered in English, "This is -insert-your-name- speaking –" You paused, your eyes lighting up at the person on the other line, "Oh Бабушка!" You laughed happily, "I didn't know – Sorry," you mumbled in Russian. "Sorry ummm… why are you calling… I'm doing fine Бабушка, but why are you calling me like this? Can't this wait till tonight –… I see… but why don't you ask someone else –… I'm sorry," you snarled, "but I can't do that Бабушка. I'm not going to risk everything for them… but Бабушка! I can't! –… No, you don't understand! I can't possibly do that!... You're being unreasonable! – I don't care what training you suspect me of doing, but I'm not going to follow orders like that! You're my Бабушка, right? Can't you understand that I can't do work like that right now –… I don't care about the money and you shouldn't either – Don't throw папа and дедушка into this! They raised me well! That has nothing to do with them – So what?! I'm not a runt Бабушка! –… Then where is большой брат now? Exactly." You grumbled under your breath, barely noticing that Ivan was listening intently to your conversation, "If you can't tell me what's happened to большой брат then I won't help you with what you want Бабушка – I'm not your lap dog! Don't order me around like that! – I am so a part of this family! Do you know what I've done to get the government off of my back, our~~ backs, so I could get home!? How could you accuse me of turning against the family? I am not! –… I did… I can't really talk about that right now because… Fine," you snorted in annoyance, rolling your eyes as you pressed your back against the tree and stared down at the ground. "… I learned that the government is looking into the family affairs, but according to my own files they don't know what's going on exactly. If you order something like that they'll know. They'll hunt us down like rabid animals and kill us all. Is that what you want? –… Yes I'm sorry." You frowned, "I'm sorry for raising my temper… yes I love you too," you chuckled lightly. "Tell младший брат I will try to set up a date to come back –… Oh here? Maybe, if you can find me – I never said you couldn't. Just know that I don't want anyone to find me here, okay?... Okay good. I'll talk to you tonight, okay? Love you too, Бабушка. Пока." You let out a tired sigh, closing the phone before closing your eyes. You didn't really want to deal with the man sitting beside you, but seeing as he wasn't going to leave you alone you'd have to talk to him. Suddenly you turned to him and gave him a slight smile, wondering why your textbook was by his leg. "Ivan, what are you doing way out here? –"
"The meeting vas long and boring," Ivan shrugged; watching as you quickly grabbed your textbook and your plant journal and placed them into your bag. "America vouldn't stop talking about global warming."
"Yeah he does that," you smirked, but then your face slowly went grim as you tried to glare him down. "Why are you sleeping next to me like that, reading my textbook?"
"I saw you out in the field and vanted to say hello, vat you were asleep. So I did not bother you," he grinned, watching as a sigh escaped your lips and you gathered everything back into your bag before looking down at your watch.
"Ah I see…" you shook your head, noticing the meeting might be done by now and you'll have to make your way back to the building. "I-I know you're still mad, but are you going to continue to be cold to me or what?"
"Vat? –"
"You hate me don't you," you pouted at him, a frown on your face as you continued. "You don't like that I keep secrets, do you? Well I can't tell you everything, alright? You're part of my business and I have to keep my job and my family life separate. I know you were listening to me while I was arguing over the phone. Don't deny that."
"Да," Ivan nodded, "I did –"
"If that's so, don't tell anyone," you shook your head and sighed, "but I know I can't trust you… I can't have my government sticking their nose into a business that isn't theirs, okay?"
"… Are vu alright –"
"No," you snorted, standing to your feet and glaring down at him. "I think I'm out and all of the sudden I'm dragged back in… I just can't deal with this right now –"
"-insert-your-name- 'ait –"
"There's too much on my mind right now a-nd I can't fall back into love struck fetishes again –"
You jumped back startled, Ivan grabbing hold of you in a tight grip and burying his head onto your shoulder. "Don't leave so soon," he mumbled in Russian into your ear. "You're the only one who cares about me other then Katyusha and Natasha."
"B-but Ivan –"
"Don't argue," he snarled into your ear, but you grabbed his arms and flipped them around roughly so you were facing him.
You snarled at him and glared him down, but you kept a hold on his arm and let it unwind in your hand. You sighed as you looked at his large hand in shame, gently rubbing his palms as you thought to yourself. "… I want to find my brother," you decided to admit, keeping your eyes on his hand as he looked down at you, "and my government thinks I'm a spy even though I've never worked for other foreign nations like a spy would… I don't know why they think that nor do I know where my brother is. I want to know why; I want to know why my brother won't speak to me. I get harassed all the time Ivan… I-I can't deal with that right now. I just want my family back… okay? Can't you see that?"
"… You come to church and va breakfast," Ivan insisted, your eyes glazing up into his bright purple eyes as he slowly drew you back into a tight hug, "and maybe drink once in a vile, да?"
"Да," you smiled, squeezing his hand just slightly before pulling back and letting a giggle escape your throat, "and thank you for understanding Ivan –"
"Пожалуйста," he smirked and gave you a kiss on the forehead, your cheeks reddening at his sudden action. He paused for a second and stared down at you, causing your face to turn even redder, until he regained the normal grin on his face and snickered. "We stay hidden, да?"
"Yes Ivan," you chuckled, "we can do that." Then the two of you left the field, continuing down the path side by side as familiar as you had been before until you emerged back into the city. Ivan had you walk down a block before he started to follow you, the two of you eventually making your way back to the building where the countries were meeting. You wondered where this relationship between Ivan and you was going and what it was exactly. You thought the two of you were just friends, but maybe it was something more that you couldn't pinpoint yet. Either way you didn't want to think about it. You were just glad you resolved your differences before the gap between Ivan and you became a vast canyon.
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A/N: Awwww~ so you revolved your differences with Ivan. Good job! XD So now we see into your life a little more, and to explain your last name it's Romanowski with an indent '–' and then your actual last name, just to be complicated ;3 You usually don't use the name Romanowski, but the combined last names from both sides of your family can be used interchangeably if you want. Another last name my show up soon, but I'll explain the reason, or the story will explain, as time goes on… well that's pretty much it. I only had to explain that… SEE YOU LATER!
папа – Russian – dad
дочь – Russian – daughter
расцвет – Russian – flowering, blossoming, bloom, blossom, flower
дедушка – Russian – grandfather
Gregory – Greek – watchful, vigilant
Nicholas – Greek – people of victory
младший брат – Russian – little brother
