Day 4

Runaway

Terrible. That's how I feel when I finally wake up. My body's aching, my hands limp, and if I thought my head hurt yesterday that was surely an understatement. What I just did, or didn't do, have made me more dreadful than ever. Watching that tree come down on Harry, followed by me rampaging through the pieces is definitely the worst nightmare I ever had. Except it wasn't a nightmare, it was real. Down to the blood on the pavement.

I stay in my bed for a long time. My body doesn't want to get up and I don't complain. What would I do anyway? Find Harry and apologize? I wouldn't even be able to face him after all I've done. Nevertheless explain how I first watched my parents die, then him. It wouldn't make sense.

I'm about to drift back to sleep when someone knocks on the door. My sister.

"Benji," She calls. "If you're in there, you better open that door right now."

I love her. Always so sweet and gentle.

She knocks again, more furious than before. I give in, climbing out of the bed. She's still knocking when I open the door, her eyes glancing nervously around in the hallway. She sighs.

"Great, you're here," She walks into my room. "I was getting worried."

"About what?" I close the door after her.

"Oh, you know," She answers like it's obvious. "I brought chocolate."

I smile and grab the bin from her hand. We know each other too well.

"So why are you here?" I remove the lid and pick the best piece.

"Why am I here?" Nadja glares surprisingly at me. "Don't you know what time it is?"

The piece of chocolate falls to the floor, I spin around. I haven't even thought about looking at the clock. I just assumed it was morning as usual. Unfortunately, I appear to be very wrong.

"5.30 in the afternoon," I repeat horrified after Nadja. "No way, that's not possible."

"I'm afraid it is," She says, looking me over. She's probably wondering why I'm not dressed yet since our parents are getting married in half an hour with me as my dad's best man. Not that he deserves it.

"Which is why I'm are here," My sister continues. "Mom sent me…"

Great. Mom worries about me for the first time in months and for what? A stupid wedding she's going to run away from? I'm so not participating.

"Well, tell mom," I start, rudely interrupting her. "That we'll see each other tomorrow. After all, I'm not feeling that well."

The last part must be convincing enough since Nadja drops her accusing stare. Which, in other words, means I do indeed look terrible. Not that it matters.

"All right," She gets up from my bed. "I'll tell her."

I follow her to the door, both of us silent. I don't notice until now that she's already wearing her bridesmaid gown, her curls flowing elegantly behind her. She probably came for nothing more than to talk just like I did yesterday before the ceremony. And now I ruined it. She didn't even get a piece of chocolate.

"Good luck," I mumble as she walks out the door.

"Benjamin, look I know-" She starts, but before she can continue familiar voices echo down the hall. My hand instantly slams the door, and when I finally get the courage to open it again she's gone. A big lump of guilt replacing her.


I sit in the front row. My mom and dad are smiling happily at each other, both reciting their vows. Next to me there's an empty seat. It was for Nadja, but apparently she didn't care to show up after our argument. And it's all my fault. If I had just done as everyone expected she would be here, and I wouldn't be sitting here feeling as I'm about to throw up.

I even saw Harry on my way here. Of course, he didn't recognize me, but I still couldn't help myself from sending a smile his way. He'd smiled back.

"Can we have the rings?" The pastor says. Everyone suddenly turns their eyes on me. I stand up and grab the pillow beside me. Apparently my parents thought that making their kids in charge of everything, but the ceremony itself was a great idea. I'm about to head up the steps, when an uncontrollable fervor rushes through me. The pillow in my hands drops to the floor.

"I can't do this," I say, loud enough for the entire room to hear. My mom stares at me, nodding for me to pick it up. But I don't. I can't.

I run out of the room, the door closing heavily behind me.

I stand there for a few moments, catching my breath. I can't go back in there. Not when I know what's going to happen.

A sudden sound escapes from my sister's changing room. I'm about to press my ear up against the door, when a moan slips through beneath it.

"Zayn," It's Nadja. "Stop. My parents, they'll be out any minute."

"Then we better make this fast."

I immediately back away. I really need to get out here.

"Hey," I turn. It's Harry. "What's-"

I kiss him. I don't know why, I don't know how, but it happens. He looks startled at me, but before he's able to ask any questions I begin making my way down the hall. The rooms flash past me, and soon I find myself in the parking lot. I quickly scan it, and before I can rethink it a door slams behind me. I'm inside a red truck.

"Would it be wrong to ask what's going on?" Harry says beside me. I wonder how he got here so fast, but figure there's probably some kind of backway out of the hotel.

"Yes," I take a deep breath. "Yes, it would."

We sit there in silence for a moment. Harry's fingers are strumming restlessly on the wheel.

"Can I then ask what you're doing here?"

"Here?" I look around, and for the first time I realize where I am. I'm in the guys truck, the one they use to get to and from the city.

"Look, I have an errand in New Orleans," Harry starts. "If you wanna come with me and let off some steam that's cool."

I don't answer immediately, not trusting my own mouth. Instead I nod.

"Good," Harry ignites the engine. "Now, if you could not kiss the driver that would be appreciated."

I blush at his words, but do as told. After all, I've already hurt enough people today.


"You're done yet?" Harry motions towards the bottle in my hand. I've been drinking ever since he went into his meeting with the manager half an hour ago, trying to persuade him to let the guys go on later. From the looks of it, it worked.

"Nah," I say, my head spinning. "It's still half full."

"Unlike those," He glances at the other two wine bottles on the table. "How did you get them anyway?"

I wink at some girls down at the other end of the bar. They giggle.

"Look," Harry looks concerned at me. "I don't think you should drink anymore."

"I'm perfectly fine," I lie, almost falling off my chair. "Besides maybe I haven't been drunk before, but-"

"Wait, slow down, Sherlock," Harry interrupts. "You've never been drunk before? I'm so taking that bottle."

Harry reaches out, trying desperately to wrestle it out of my hand. Except I won't let go. My life's on a downfall and I might as well go down with it. Besides I've finally realized what my friends have been talking about for decades. Being drunk is fun, there's no denying it.

"What will it take for you to let it go?" Harry finally asks, giving up. I think for a moment.

"Kiss me."

"No way," He immediately replies. "I'm not kissing a drunk bastard."

I pull up my shoulders and call for the bartender. He happily returns seconds later with a bottle of whisky. Harry glares at me as I remove the cork. I feel the glass against my lips about to take a big slurp, when Harry finally leans in. The bottle hits the table, and before I'm able to protest his lips are on mine. A euphoria fills me.

"There," He mumbles under his breath. "Now will you please stop?"

I nod, about to push the bottle away when a sudden grogginess fills me. I'm going to barf.

"Oh, no," Harry grabs me by the shoulders. "We need to get you outside."

I don't argue.

Fresh air breaks into my lungs as Harry leads me outside. He left money on the counter, but before I'm able to thank him a large amount of mushy liquid flows out of me.

"Wow, easy there," Harry taps my back. It helps.

"Thanks," I manage, finally straightening up. My head's still dizzy, but at least my stomach's feeling better. "And sorry for everything in there."

"It's all right," Harry says. "We all been there."

I doubt it.

"Besides," He continues. "You are really not that bad a kisser."

I doubt that too, but still can't help but laugh.

"So," I start. "What do we do now?"

"Well," He replies. "Since you decided to distract me, and it's way over an hour back. Why don't we stay?"

I study him for a moment.

"Unless you want to get back to the wedding, of course," He hurriedly adds.

"No, it's not that," He looks expectingly at me. "You know what, forget it. You're completely right. And why don't we start our evening with a walk."

Harry smiles at my emphasis on the word 'our'.

"Of course," He agrees, jokingly presenting his arm. "After you, darling."

I grab it, grinning. Maybe this day is not so bad after all.


The stars are finally starting peek out behind the thick carpet of clouds when we reach the pavilion. Harry and I have been walking for a couple hours now, talking about the most ridiculous things. He even showed me some of the tattoos he'd gotten in places the guys have performed, making me wonder why they still haven't got a record contract.

"Let me get this straight. You have performed in how many countries?"

"27," Harry repeats. "It's not even that big a deal. It's mostly been small bar-shows anyway."

"Still," I say. "It sounds like you're chasing someone."

"Maybe we are."

We both stop, watching a few jazz musicians set up. The pavilion's filled with lights tonight, romantically lighting up the steps. It's seems crazy it's only two days since Harry serenaded me here. So crazy that I almost don't notice when an old country song starts playing. I recognize it immediately. It's from my favorite movie.

"Wanna dance?" Harry reaches for my hand.

"I would love to." He drags me towards the steps and places his hand on my hip. We lock eyes.

"So," He looks at me. "You still haven't told me where you from."

"Canada," I answer, surprised. "Vancouver, more precisely. You?"

"England."

"You don't say," I exclaim in an exaggerated accent. He laughs. "Is it always like this in New Orleans?"

"Mostly," He spins me around. "That's why I like it."

He looks at me while he says it, and I can't help but blush. I done that a lot tonight. We dance a little longer and before I'm able to explain why, we both lean forward. My cheek lightly grazes his and as the song ebbs out our lips meet. Behind us someone honks.

"Get a room," Zayn yells out the window of my sister's truck. Harry and I immediately turn, none of us able to stop smiling. Our fingers intertwined.


This time when I hit the mattress I know exactly what to do. Harry and I just came back from the concert, and even though he's already rapidly kissing my neck, I have to resist. At least just a little while longer.

"Harry," I say, my breathing ragged. "I need to tell you something."

"Fire ahead," Harry replies in a sexy tone that doesn't make it any easier.

"I," Harry kisses my chest, a shudder runs through me. "Earlier today... the kiss, it wasn't by accident."

"It wasn't?" He doesn't sound surprised. Instead he keeps going.

"Could you stop a sec'?" I push him off me. He stares at me dumfounded.

"What did you do that for?" He says, anger spicing his voice.

"Because," I start. "The last time we did this-"

"We've done it before?" Harry looks confused at me. "Was I good?"

"Focus, Harry," I roll my eyes.

"Well, it's just if we done it before," He stands up. "There's no use in hiding it."

At first I don't get what he's saying. Not until he moves his hands to his waist, grabbing the top of his jeans. I watch as he slips them off, revealing what I wanted so badly for days. I moan.

"You like that?" Harry teases, bending over me. "Then let's take it one step further."

He leans down and presses his lips against mine. The bulge in my pants instantly grows, and before I can stop it my hands have a tight grip on Harry's butt, pressing him closer. He moans, quickly removing my jeans.

Our naked bodies weave together the moment they meet. A warm sensation passes through me, and soon I'm on top, sucking his nipples. His moan echoes through the bedroom, his body shrugging beneath me. It slowly intensifies as our bodies continue to rub against each other, and soon we're covered in sweat.

I glance at the clock.

"We need to hurry," I gasp.

"If you say so."

Harry quickly grabs my shoulders, throwing me back onto the madras. His eyes go wild, and before I'm able to resist our erections meet. A loud moan escapes my lips. It's time. I grab him by the hair, forcing his mouth onto mine. A nerve-wrecking explosion fills us.

Then it goes black.