Guilty Fantasies


My insides lurched with longing at the sight of Mike's sweaty state. We had just finished playing volley-ball, and everyone was sweaty, but they didn't make me want to jump them like Mike did. His olive face was flushed pink, his golden hair was messy, all over the place, unable to be tamed, and his face was sweaty. His light blue eyes turned to look at me, and a smile appeared on his full lips.

I blushed. He'd caught me staring at him.

I mentally punished myself - I wanted Edward. He was my one and only.

Then why was it then, that every time I saw Mike, my heart went wild. Why was it then that I enjoyed it when he stared at me, instead of other girls? Why was it then that I was pleased to see that he still had feelings for me? Why was it then that I wanted to feel his warm hands wrapped around mine? So many questions, yet few answers.

I clenched my jaws, and swiftly turned, but seeing as how gravity hates me, I fell. Just as the ground was about to collide with my butt, I felt two warm hands grab a hold of my arms, and pushed me up - Mike pushed me up. They weren't cold, hard hands. I was already analyzing how different they were. I also noticed that Mike wasn't asking me if I was okay once I was standing on my two feet. He wasn't treating me like I was some delicate girl. Mike was actually laughing, his blue eyes dancing with amusement.

Edward would've taken me to Carlisle by now, for sure.

I wasn't sure if I was at all upset with Mike, but a small smile curled up my lips. "What's so funny?" I flushed, and Mike let go of my arms. I almost frowned at the loss of heat.

"Nothing, nothing." he lied, still smiling.

"Yeah right," I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, Mike."

"Anything for you, Bella." he said. He looked at something behind me, frowning. "Listen, I was wondering... would you like to go and watch a movie?" He was red.

My heart was stuck in my throat. I felt myself blushing, "L-like a date?" I stammered out.

Mike seemed to be unsure, "I, uh, yeah." He scratched his head - a habit of his when he was nervous. I smiled, Edward usually didn't show me when he was nervous.

Thinking about Edward made me feel immensely guilty and dirty. I had still been thinking about Mike, and I think I've developed a mini-crush on him. I was thrilled to always see Mike, longing for his touch - when in reality, I should be wanting Edward. Edward, not Mike.

"I'm not sure, Mike," I frowned. "I mean, I am with Edward."

"Oh," his face fell. My heart slowed. "Well, I was thinking as going like friends." he lied, he tried to smile.

"I guess we can go as friends." I smiled, thrilled. There wasn't anything wrong now, was there? I was going out with Mike as a friend would go out with another friend. It was a friendly activity.

Then why isn't any of your other friends, going? sneered a voice in the back of my head.

"Great, I'll pick you up later, at seven P.M.!" he beamed. "See you later, Bella!"

"Bye, Mike." I called after him.

;P :D ;)

I frowned at my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't entirely sure how to dress for this friendly occasion. Right now, I was wearing simple blue jeans, and a red long-sleeved shirt, a jacket, and my normal black-and-white converse shoes. For the date, I wanted to look casual, like I thought this was simply friendly. Again, I frowned.

Maybe I could switch my jacket? And put on some make-up?

My eyes widened at the sudden thought.

Make up?

I shook my head.

This was harder than I thought it would be. I was remembering how many times Edward and I have gone out, and they weren't many. We usually just went to his house, here at my house, school, or the meadow. He hasn't taken me anywhere outside this gloomy place. I really was looking forward to going out. Even more ecstatic that it was with Mike.

"This is wrong," I told myself. "Just call Mike, and tell him you can't go anymore."

But even thinking about this made me want to bang my head into a wall; I wanted to go to this date. Plus, twenty or so minutes were left before Mike arrived, and we were to leave. So why would I simply call it off? We were going as friends, nothing more.

I sighed frustrated at the clock. Why couldn't it go much faster? Like when I'm taking a hard test - time ticks by rather quickly. And now that I want it go pass by quickly, it was teasing me, taunting me. I growled - in a humanly way, or so Edward says.

"This won't do any good, Bella, just staring at the red numbers." I mumbled to myself. "Just go downstairs, watch TV, and wait until Mike arrives," I instructed.

So now you're talking to yourself - that's the first sign of madness! the little voice from ealier sneered.

My hand froze on my door's door-knob. The voice sounded so familiar, it was a voice I would recognize anywhere - it was Edward's. Why hadn't I recognized it before?

Because, my love, you were thinking about that Newton child. he sneered in a furious voice. His voice furious, sounded so beautiful still - like strong, deep piano chords. I winced. Don't fret, love, I will forgive you in a hundred years for mentally-cheating on me.

"You're not Edward," my voice shook, "he wouldn't say or think like that."

Bella, love, you didn't even second-glance at Edward, yet here you are, fantasizing about him - longing for him. You wouldn't have done that previously, right, my love?

I winced, as if someone had slapped me across the face. "I'm sorry, Edward." His name sounded bitter in my tongue.

Apologize when I come back, my love. I deserve to know what's going inside that little head of your's when I come back.

My eyes widened.

I didn't want Edward to know - I wasn't intending to tell him, at all.

There was a shrilly knock on the front door, and that was exactly what broke me out of my thoughts. I gratefully opened my door, and as cautiously as I could, I ran down the stairs, already eager to see Mike's face.

My heart leaped at the sight of Mike. He was handsome - I hadn't noticed this before - not like Edward, of course, but different. He didn't need to be a vampire to look good. Already was I regretting the way I dressed. I didn't look good, like him.

"Hey, Bella." he greeted cheerfully.

"Mike," I breathed, "hi."

He grinned, "Are you ready?"

I nodded, staying mute.

"Okay then, let's go." He inched his head to the direction of an unfamiliar car. Seeing my furrowed brows, he explained, "My dad sold my old car - gasoline cost too much." he mumbled.

I watched my step as I walked toward's Mike's car. Once I was inside, seated and inhaling the car smell that smelled oddly like Mint, I relaxed and felt at ease. Mike started the car, before driving us towards our date's destination.

I had a boyfriend, I realized painfully, yet I was going out - with a friend, I reminded myself. A friend that I happened to have a crush on, and dream sexually about. Yes, I was going out with that same exact friend.


A/N: So, did you like this chapter? I'm sorry there was no sex. . . but. . . Mike and Bella need to build some "feelings" or something before they jump into bed! LOL when I imagined Bella having sex, I always imagined her being REALLY awkward and ditzy xD

Sorry for the long wait, I've been plentiful busy. I'm happy, you guys made me happy! Yay, I got reviews! :D

Again, I'm sorry for this being short! And, well. . . I'm not sure if I should continue this story. . . \: I guess I'm loosing interest. . . .should I continue?

Anyways. . .

Please. . . (because it makes me extremely happy and to know your thoughts)

REVIEW!