hey everyone. i know, i know, im not updating like i should and when i do its these dumb fillers. please bare with me. i didnt read over this becaus when i read fillers so many times, i get annoyed and it makes me want to throw my laptop across my dorm room. so, yeah. anyways, here's another chaper. i updating i realy have nothing better to do. ummm...so yeaah.
13. Something To Be Done
After I got off the phone with Edward, Jacob thought it was a good idea we go to the beach. The only reason I decided to go was the way we got there.
We were riding his bike there. I was a little upset that I had to helmet on. Going fast in car and going fast on a bike was totally different. And the best part was feeling the air on your face as you rode. I wasn't able to feel that with Jacob's helmet on. He was getting all the joy in that.
But it was okay. Truth be told, I kinda missed riding on the back with Jacob. Bike riding was one of our special things. No matter how much anyone wanted to tried, no one could take that away from us and no one would understand the bond we have with it like we do. No, not even Leah or Edward. They could try, but they couldn't.
When we got to the beach, there were a few people there. It looked like some people were setting up for a bonfire or something. It was late afternoon, so they had a few more hours. I've only been to about two. Both with Jacob and his friends from La Push. He never said he didn't have friends there, just that he didn't want to go to school there.
When we walked passed them, they knew Jacob. They asked he wanted to join them and that I could come, but he said that was okay then we kept walking along the shore. We carried our shoes in our hands and rolled up our pants legs so they wouldn't get ruined by the waves crashing against the sand and hitting our ankles.
As another wave came, another breeze came. I wrapped my arms around me and shivered. I shook my head at how stupid I was. "Man, I wish I would have thought to bring my riding jacket. It's warm." I thought out loud.
"You're cold?" Jacob asked me. I nodded. I get cold easier than I should. Sometimes I think my skin is thinner than the average human's.
He took off his jacket and handed to me. "You won't be cold?" I asked him.
He shook his head. "I was actually a little hot." He said as I took it out of his hand and put it on. I folded my arm tightly around my body so it would be closed.
"You never get cold." I told him.
He shrugged. "What can I say; I'm hotter than most guys." He said with a smile telling me what he was saying had a double meaning.
I smiled back and gave him a light push. "Not hotter than Edward." I said.
He rolled his eyes. "I'm way hotter than him." he argued.
I shook my head. "Apparently not to me." I said with a teasing smile. It was kind of true. In a weird way, I did choose Edward over Jacob.
"Yeah, well something's obviously wrong with you." He mumbled.
I just shook my head at him with a light chuckle. "So how are you and Leah, by the way?" I asked, hinting that he did have relationship of his own that didn't involve me. I kind of wanted to change the subject, but I also wanted him to talk about his girlfriend. He really didn't talk about his relationship too much.
He shrugged. "Okay, nothing too special." He said. He looked at me when I gave a chuckle that I tried to cover as a cough. Of course he wasn't convinced. "You were never good at that." he noted, knowing what I was doing. I smiled at him, but not denying it. "You don't believe me or something?" he asked, getting back to what we were talking.
"Not really. For one, if it's nothing special, then why have to be with her for so long?" I really wanted to know that one. They were different but they fit well together. I wonder how Alice would describe them. Would they be puzzle pieces too or would they be something else? What they were, they made sense. "And plus I see the way you look at her when you think on one is looking." I told him.
"And what does that look like?" he asked with a smirk. I know he was thinking I was full of bull shit.
"I'm not so sure, but I think it's something like when you look at her, that's all you can think of. You don't realize it, but your mind start drafting to the tomorrows and yesterdays and any other time you spent with her. You stop thinking about anything that doesn't have to do with her. And you start to think that if gravity wasn't holding you down, you'll be floating. When look at her, nothing else matters. But I can't be too sure so don't quote me." I said, waving off the idea that I wasn't sure.
"If you're so unsure, how do you know I look like that?" he challenged.
I looked at him a smile. "Because it's the same way people say Edward looks at me." I told him. His eyes slightly widened in understanding. I chuckled then I shrugged. "I've never seen 'the look' people are talking about, so that's why I don't know. It's just an assumption." I told him. People say Edward looks at me like I was the only thing in the world. I tried to see it for myself on the corner of my eye while I'm doing something. But he always caught me and turned away.
"In that case, I guess I understand. To be honest, I think I love her." he said seriously.
Even though I knew he was serious, but I couldn't help but ask something. "Why are you just now figuring that out?" I asked him with genuine curiosity.
He shook his head. "I realized it a while ago. That was just the first time I actually said out loud." He said.
I stopped him. "You haven't told her you love her yet?" I asked in shock. He shook his head. My eyebrows came together in confusion. That was crazy.
"Before you jump down my throat," he said seeing my face. "She hasn't said it either." He told me. I shook my head at that. That was really crazy. They've been together as long as Edward and I have and they haven't even said they loved each other yet? I couldn't believe that. Edward and I said it with in the first few months. But our relationship was a little rushed. I guess everyone wasn't us.
"Have you guys even…you know, yet?" I asked him in a low tone, not know what else to say or how to put it.
He chuckled. "Of course we have, Bella. We have lived together for almost four years so it would be kind of hard not to." He said as if the idea of them not sleeping together was stupid. Some people don't have sex with their mate until they're married that wasn't as stupid as he probably thought. What was stupid was that they fucked before saying they loved each other. I let him know how dumb it really was by hitting him in the back of the head. "What the hell was that for?" he said as he put his hand on the back of his head.
"How the hell did you guys fuck before saying you loved each other?" I yelled at him.
"Did you guys wait until one of you dropped the 'L' word before doing anything?" he asked in annoyance. I put a hole in that challenge real quick by nodding.
"Actually, yes. It was the same night, but still. The only reason we had sex was because we said the 'L' word." I put air quotes around L.
He rolled his eyes. "Well, not everyone is you two. Not everyone can wait like that." He said.
"What the hell are you waiting for?" I yelled again, tempted to hit him again. it was a statement that should just roll off the tongue by now. What were they waiting for? An invitation?
He sighed. "It's not me, its her." he said as he started walking again.
I sighed as well as I followed him. "What do you mean?" I said when I caught up with him.
"I'm kind of waiting for her to say it first." he admitted.
"I don't understand." I said shaking my head.
He sighed again. "I don't know how she would react if I say it first. If she says it, then I know I would be able to with ease. It seem like she's always trying to say something. She says my name, I look up, she starts to say something but she stops short and says never mind then gets up and leave the room. It's been going on like this for about two years now." He explained.
I shook my head. "That's stupid." I said.
"Not so much." He answered.
"How you do figure?"
"Bella, you know Sam cheated on her with her cousin?" he asked. I nodded. It was one of the reasons they started dating because he was there for Leah when she was crying and mad at the world. It was also why she was kissing him like she was marking territory when she first met me. I wonder if anyone told her that just because she does that doesn't mean the guy won't cheat anyways. "Well, she found out a few days after she told him she loved him and they had sex for the first time. When she found out, it kind of crushed her into a little girl so she has her walls up when it comes to me. I know she thinks if she never says the word to me, she can go on pretending that the only reason we're still together is because of the sex."
When he said that, my mouth dropped open then I closed it. I felt bad about calling her bitchy all those times when all the while she just didn't want hurt like anything. I never thought as Leah as valuable like that. she always seemed stronger than that. "Well, then you're the stupid one." I finally said.
"Why me?" he sighed hard. I could tell he didn't care for the answer.
I didn't care what he didn't want, he was going to hear. "Because you should know she is."
"I do; why do you think I'm not pressuring her by telling her I love her. I don't want her feel like she has to say it because I did. I want her to say because she feels it." He explained.
"But she might not say it first. Like you said, Jake; she still has walls up. You need break through them."
He sighed. "Yeah, she does have a hard ass exterior." He agreed.
I laughed at his complain. "Which is why I don't see what drew you to her. You're all soft and sweet."
"Excuse me, I am not soft." He said, almost offended.
I giggled. "If that's what you want to think." I said just to humor hm.
He stopped me and I turned to him. "Does this look like I'm soft?" he said pulling up his shirt. I couldn't stop myself from looking down. I forget how fit he good as his body is, I still prefer Edward. I pointed him in the side to mess with him. I giggled when he cringed away in reaction.
"Enough, Playboy." I teased as I started walking away from him. "You know what I mean." I said when he was next to me again. "You're like a brother to everyone." I clarified. He rolled his eyes. He could be in deny it all he wanted, but that's what he was and he knew. That's why we never work as well as boyfriend/girlfriend as we did as just friends. No matter how hard I tried to, I just never saw him as a boyfriend because he was a brother.
"Sure, sure. Okay, so what about you? How are things with you and your twice your age boyfriend?" he asked with a teasing voice.
I shook my head. "First, he's only six years older than me and we're both legal so let that joke go." I told him with a smug smile. He gave a small shrug. I think that was hint he wasn't going to. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't.
"Sorry, no can do. The jokes are just too funny." He chuckled. And again, not surprise.
"Things are good between us." I answered, ignoring his comment. "Besides that small break took from each other." I said.
"What do you mean you had to take a break?" he asked. when he said that, I remembered he didn't know. I wanted to hit myself for not remembering he didn't. reason being was that I didn't want to tell the story again.
"Uh… long story short, he found my pills, we said some things to each other. he said something I couldn't handle so I left. When I was back the next morning, we tried talking to each other, but just ended up in another fight. After about a week of acting like the other didn't existed, we thought it was probably best to spent sometime apart." I told him in one big breathe.
"When did you get back together, if that's even the word." He said.
I chuckled. He was actually the first person who was confused by what it was like I was. Everyone else just called it a break up. "About a week ago, I think. Maybe two or three, at most." I told him.
"How long was the break?" he asked probably to see how long we could stay apart before running back to each other.
"About four weeks; at least that's what Alice said." I told him, not really being completely sure of the length of time. It just seem like forever, being away from him.
"Well why didn't you call me?" he asked.
I chuckled. "What would that have done, Jacob?" I asked.
"I could've had a 'break' with Leah. I would've come up there and…" he grabbed me by my hips and pulled me to him. "We could have a great break together." He said in a whispered in my ear then kissed the side of my head. It was more of a friendly kiss if anything, which is that I knew he was just joking. And that was why I laughed at him as I pushed in away.
"Stop suggesting that. See, that's probably why she hasn't said she loves you yet. She probably thinks you're just like that no good Sam and out here banging every Cali girl you see." I teased.
"Ouch! That one hurt." He said as he playfully cringed in false pain. I laughed at him as I started walking again. "And plus, that is so not…" he trailed off. I look behind me to see him watching a girl who was in a short shirt with just a bikini bra on walking pass. She smiled and waved at him.
I rolled my eyes. "Keep walking." I told her. she looked at me before shrugging it off and walking away. I crooked an eyebrow at him.
"What?" he said with a shrug and an innocent smile. I wasn't buying it.
"What the hell just happen to you love her?" I snapped, annoyed that he just got lost is a pretty girl like that.
He rolled his eyes. "Oh please Bella. I have an Y chromosome. It is scienfictaly proven that it is natural for the male species to look at the opposite sex. It goes back to cavemen looking for the perfect mate to bare their children." He tried to sound smart and convincing, but I wasn't moved.
"Jake, I'm not some bimbo. I'm not easily persuaded." I told him.
"As if you don't look." He countered as he walked next to me. I didn't even humor him with answer. Truth be told, I think I was just as wrong as he was. How else would I come up with the idea that Jasper's body is just as good as his brother's. same thing with Jake. No matter how many times I've seen him shirtless, I help but to get a little shun. I said nothing as we kept walking. "Besides, after what happen with Sam, I would never do that to her. I only joke with you because I know you will always say no so it doesn't mean anything." He said.
"Good thing, because if she saw that, I think you can pretty much bid your nuts a good bye." I said with a teasing wave. He laughed. I think a little harder than he should. "I didn't know it was that funny." I said with a light chuckle.
"It's not the poor joke, it was the fact you said it." he said as he continued to laugh. I gave him a confused look. "Bella, I don't know if you notice, but she's only that way with you." He explained.
I lifted my eyebrows. "Why me?" I asked as I point to myself in shock. I knew she didn't like me, but I thought it was because she didn't like anyone. I never knew she was like that just because of me.
"She sees how comfortable you and I are around each other." he said.
What? That didn't make sense that she didn't like me because Jacob and I were comfortable around each other. He wasn't telling everything. There had to be more. "But, you're the same way with Alice. She doesn't have a problem with her. I don't understand." I pointed out. I realized it along time ago that she actually laughs and jokes when Alice is there. When I'm there she tried to talk, I can't help but think it was kind of forced. But then again, everyone love Alice a little more than they like me. she was a very likeable person.
"Yeah, but I never dated Alice." He reminded me.
"So she doesn't like me because we dated?" I asked. he nodded. I sighed. "Didn't you tell her it wasn't that serious, that we broke up almost every other week, that we didn't fall in love or didn't even have sex with each other, that we're nothing now but just friends?" I asked ranted out. That's why Edward isn't really fond of Jacob so I had a feeling that would be Leah's problem as well.
He chuckled. "Yes Bella, I told her all of that."
"And?" I urged him to continue.
"She said there's no way we could be just friends without something still there." He explained.
I sighed in annoyance. "That's exactly what Edward says too." I told him.
He chuckled. "I always knew Edward wasn't 100% okay with us being as close as we are." he said. "Bur I always thought he knew I was better than him." he teased with a smirk. I punched him in the arm.
"I guess you can sat he's not really comfortable with our friendship ever." I said with a sigh.
He chuckled again. "You and I know there's nothing; in their minds, they can't help but think otherwise. It's kinda funny when you think about it." He said.
I shook my head. It still didn't make too much sense. "It isn't. they shouldn't think anything going on between us because there's not." I said. he agreed with a nod.
Then my phone rang in my pocket. "Speak of the devil." Jacob mumbled, probably thinking it was Edward calling. I took my phone out to see there was a text message. "What's he saying, that he misses you so much and begging you to come home." He joked.
I shook my head. "It not even him, you jerk. He's in an interview, remember. It's Alice. She said she and Leah are home and they will be waiting for us to come back. And apparently she brought some amazing shoes." I said the last part of the text with a bored expression.
"I'm still a little surprise that Masen even knows how to text. Did they even have cell phone when he was our age? Wasn't it like in the Stone Age or something?" he joked.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "He's only six years older than me." I repeated with annoyance. I was getting tired of him talking about him like that.
"Yeah that's what he told you, but how do you know that for sure?" he teased.
I groaned. "Shut up, Jake." I said pushing him. "You don't hear me still talking about Leah." I pointed out.
He laughed. "That's because she was there when you needed us. And don't push me." He said, shoving me back.
"I never asked her to, plus the only she did was because of you. And it's rude to hit girls." I told him pushing him again, harder this time.
"She still did it. and you're not a girl, you're Bella." He said before putting me in a headlock. I swear, this was his and Emmett's favorite move to use on me because they know I struggle to get out it.
"Let me go, you jackass" I urged and trying to push him off. He chuckled as he did. He wasn't like Emmett. He let me go when I asked. But I still wasn't going to let him get away with that.
I elbowed him hard in the gut before running away. It was a good thing the sand near the shore was more flat so I could actually get away. But that also meant he could catch me with ease, which he did. I laughed loudly as he grabbed me around my waist and lifted me in the air. Sometimes I hated that they could all pick me up easily. Now that I think of it, all of the guys bully me. So unfair.
My eyes widened when he started moving farther in the water. "Jacob, stop playing." I said, knowing what he was about to do.
"Why, do you want to go for a swim?" I heard him say with a smile.
"No, stop." I urged as I try to get out of his now tight grip. "Let me go." He wasn't listening. I thought of something to make him stop. "I'm wearing your jacket." I reminded him.
He stopped. "You're so lucky that thing is dry clean only." He said, sounding disappointed. I gave a breath of relief. He started walking away from the water again. He put me down when we was no longer knee deep in the water. I waited a few moments as he walked away. When he was far enough, I ran and jumped on his back. He stumbled forward a bit before grabbing my legs on instincts and retaining his balance. "Do not do that." He snapped.
I giggled. "You caught me." I pointed out.
"When have I not?" he asked. I saw he had a smile on his face again as he started walking again.
He was right, literally and figuratively. Him and Alice was always there for that. That's why I loved them. "Never. Thanks for that." I told him then I kissed him on the cheek.
He sighed. "Anytime; it's why I'm here." He stopped and his grin changed. "My Cinderbella." He called me by the pet name he used to call me while we dated. I smiled. Two can play it that game.
"I know. Thanks, my Jakie Bear." I gave a teasing cooed in his ear. I was calling the pet name I called him when we dating. We really didn't use them that much because they were both pretty stupid and embarrassing. Only time we uses them is when we were teasing each other or thinking of the old times.
He made a disgusted sound. "I've always hated that damn name." he said.
I giggled because I knew this; which was way I called him that. I kissed him on the cheek again. "Jakie Bear." I said it again to mess with him. he shook his head as he kept
He carried me until he got tired, which was about a few feet. He dropped me on the sand and sat next to me. We sat next to each other and watched the sun go down. Something else we loved to share with each other, watch the sun set (or rise, depending on the time of year) on the beach. I rested my head on his shoulder.
"Have I told you Edward got a tattoo?" I said, wanting to break the silence. The silence wasn't awkward like how it would be will someone else, I just liked it when we talked.
He looked at me. "No he didn't. You're lying." He said in disbelief.
I chuckled. At least I wasn't the only one who found that a little weird. I shook my head. "I'm not. He did. I think I have a picture of him in my phone." I said as I pulled it out of my back pocket. I tend to keep a lot of things there because I'm scare something might fall out in my front ones. I went to the gallery and started going through the pictures until I found one of Edward and I. he had his arm wrapped around me in a way where his arm was across my body and perfectly showing the lettering on his shoulder. It was taken a few weeks after he was home.
I turned the phone screen to Jacob to see it. He looked at it for a second before speaking. "Okay, is there a reason you two are shirtless?" he asked in confusion.
I looked at it to see what he was talking about. He was right. There were covers coving our legs, but from the waist up, he didn't have a shirt on and I only had a bra on. no one could be sure because his arm was coving my chest, but you could still see the straps and my bare stomach. Not only that, but both of our hairs were a mess. His looked like he ran his hand through it repeatedly and mine was a very loose and messy bun. I smiled. There was a reason for that. "Yeah; there is." I told him.
"Which is?" he asked.
I turned the phone to him again. "What else do you noticed about this picture?" I asked.
He looked closely. "You guys' hair is messes up so is the bed it looks like. It looks like you just…" he stopped and turned to me to see me smiling. I was smiling because I knew he just got it. "Oh my god, Bella; thanks for the mental image." He complained. I giggled as he started hitting his hand against his ear as if he was trying to get water out. "Who the hell takes pictures after doing that?" he asked.
I shrugged. "I didn't have school or any work to do and we were bored." I told him as I took the phone back to continue to look at the other ones. "This is a better on of the tattoo through." I said as I showed him another one. This was a single picture of Edward and he was flexing his muscle the tattoo was on. I actually told him to do that. I thought it would be smug yet sexy pose. And I totally right. Especially the way he sold it.
He looked again. "Is that Chinese?" he asked as he looked at the picture confuse on which language it was. it was hard. If Edward didn't tell me, I would be confused too and would have to look it up on the internet. They were just too similar at a quick, first glance. But there were something different between the two.
"It's Japanese. Don't worry, I didn't know either." I told him.
"What does it say?" he asked as I took the phone back.
I shrugged. "I don't remember what he said it said but he said it meant strength."
"What made him get that?" he asked.
"I don't know. He said he feels he always have to be strong for everyone." I told him.
"No, I mean what made him get a tattoo period." He simplified.
I shrugged again. "He said he wanted something different."
"When did he get it?" he asked.
I gave mental sigh. I didn't like when he got it only for the simple fact that he lied to me when he first got it. "He had it when he came home." I said drily as I flipped through the pictures again.
"You mean he got in while he was in?" he asked. I nodded. "That is so badass." He exclaimed. "That makes me want to get one." He said with a wide smile.
I looked at him and gave my head a light shake with a chuckled. Then I shrugged. "Sure." I said.
"You don't like it?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I love it. It's actually one of my favorite things about him now. It's just when he got it, he didn't tell me about it and I hate that he lied."
"Maybe he didn't know how you would react to it."
I nodded. "That's what he said." I chuckled. "Once again, you two think more alike than you think." I repeated what I said at the house when I was talking to both him and Edward. I still going through the pictures we took in our room. I didn't realize we took so many until now. I came across another single picture of him. He was leaning on the wall next to the closet. He was more wearing his infamous crooked smiled in that one. It was a shot of his shoulders, up. Since he still wasn't wearing a shirt, his shoulders were bare. "There's another one." I said with a smiled, showing Jake the phone again.
"That's kinda of a good pose for him." he said. I looked at him. he looked at me to see I was smiling to keep from laughing because of the way that sounded. "Be quiet. And stop showing me these pictures. I'm starting to question things and I don't like it." He said as he pushed the phone away from him. I laughed as I looked at them again. I looked at a few more before putting my phone back in my pocket. "So why am I just now finding out about everything that's going on?" he changed the subject as he looked to the sun again.
I turned to look too. "Because you decided to move three states down to go to school. Things aren't the same over the phone." I told him the truth. You can talk over the phone all you want, but it will always feel like something is missing when you tell the other person what's going on. It's nothing like telling them in person.
"I get it, I guess." He replied with a shrug.
"You should come back home. Everyone misses you; especially the guys down at La Push." I told him seriously. A lot of people did miss him. Some were in my classes asked how was he doing. I tell them he's fine, from where I'm stand anyways.
"I think will one of these days." he said.
"You sure Leah would let you?" I half joked. It didn't seem like she was in rush getting back to Washington. And there was no way she would let him come alone.
"Unlike how Edward is with you, she doesn't control me." he countered.
I shook my head. "Edward doesn't control me." I told him.
He snorted. "Oh please. I bet when he hesitated about you coming, you didn't think twice about staying with him." he said.
Okay, that was kind of true. More than kind of actually. But I didn't want to say that to him because would probably see something that wasn't there just like Alice. I shrugged. "I didn't want to leave him along. I knew it would upset him and I hated when he's upset."
"Ah, that sounds controlling to me." he said.
"No, it sounds like a caring girlfriend." I counter.
"And that's how it always starts." He countered back.
"So you're saying you don't care about her?" I challenged.
He shrugged. "To a point yes. like if she gets hurt physically or something. But not if it's something like missing me during a trip. she knows I don't care about that because it's something that happens and she doesn't waste breath and energy trying to convince me to stay. She also knows that I will try to be back in few days." we turned our heads to each other. "You can't spend your whole life thinking about how it affects others." He said seriously.
I couldn't do anything but nod. "That's the same thing Alice said." I told him.
He chuckled and turned away. "And I doubt you even heard her." He said.
I turned too. "I did. I'm here, aren't I?" I said.
"Yeah, but how long would you hold on to that?" he challenged.
"You know what…" I stopped to think about that. "I'm not really sure." I said out loud. I didn't realize I was speaking until after I said it. After I did, I realized something else. It made me give a very light chuckle. One might think it was a cough, but Jacob knew better.
"What's on your mind?" he asked.
"Have you notice that we're been comparing relationships this whole time?" I said, giving another chuckle.
He chuckled back. "Majority of the time, but you're right. how the hell did that happen?" he asked. I shrugged. I wasn't really sure. It was like we would say something than the other would tease about the other's mate and the other would tease back. "What is wrong with us?" he chuckled again as he shook his head.
I gave another small chuckle. "A little thing called love, that's what happened." I told him.
"Love is such a drag." He teased lightly.
I nodded with a smile. "Tell me about it."
"Well…" he sighed as he put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me close. "At lease we have each other to help us through it. We'll always have our bikes and the beach." He said with a smile.
I looked at him and smile. "We have our bikes and beaches." I agreed.
XXX
It was about two days after I talked with Jacob. And I was happy to say, it was time for Alice and I to go home. I was basely happy dancing as I repacked my bag. I loved Alice and Jacob; but I was ready to go home and sleep in my own bed because that damn pull out bed was making my back all kinds of stiff. And no offense to Alice, but I much rather have Edward's arm hugging me rather than Alice's smacking me in the face. I don't blame her. It's not her fault she's a wild ass sleeper and I'm more of a calm one. But it was annoying as hell.
We said good bye to Jacob and Leah and thanked them for letting us stay with them. after than, we got on the plane and went home. I didn't think it was going fast enough so I slept to pass the time. Alice woke me when we landed.
We got our things and did everything we had to before we made it in the lobby. Alice was checking her phone for any missed calls or anything when it was off. I was too busy looking for my ride to do any of that.
I looked all over the lobby and couldn't find him anywhere. I sighed hard. I pulled out my phone to call him to see why he wasn't here yet and what was taking him so long. I was about to put the phone to my ear when I heard someone in it.
"Looking for someone, beautiful?" I heard a male voice said. A smile crept along my lips without me thinking about it.
I turned to see a guy with sunglasses on. It must be some kind of sunny outside. "Uh…yeah, my boyfriend." I said, still not being able to stop my smile.
He looked around. "What does he look like; maybe I can help." He suggested.
I started to think. "He's more than a few inches taller than me, bronze hair that always look mess but gorgeous at the same time. Amazing brown eyes, a dazzling smile, black markings coming from under the sleeve of his shirt on his right arm" I described Edward.
His eyebrows lifted as if he was thinking about details I was giving him. "Interesting." he nodded.
"And he not only cute, but sweet and smart too." I continued.
"Sounds like quite the catch." He said.
"Maybe." I shrug. I reached up and took the glasses off his eyes. My smile got wider. "But I much rather settle for you." I reached to press my lips to his. he closed the space without problems. As our lips move together, I felt his arms wrap around my waist and making a small space between the floor and my feet. "I missed you, Edward." I said pulling back.
"I missed you too, babe." he said. He was about to put his lips to mine again when we heard a voice.
"What about me, Edward?" Alice said.
He chuckled as he put me down. he looked at her. "I missed you too, Alice." He said as he reached for a hug.
"No you didn't." She said as she knocked his hands aside. "And I don't take pity hugs. Thank you." she commented. I looked at her, reminded her of the talk we had. She smiled at Edward after seeing me. "But I'll take yours." She said as she hugged him. he hugged her back. She pulled away from him and looked at me as if to say "happy?" I nodded. "I'll see you guys later." She said as she grabbed her things and walk out of the lobby.
He turned to me. "Told you she didn't hate you." I told him with a smile.
He chuckled. "Okay. Ready to go home?" he said.
I nodded. "Of course I am." When I said that, he took my bag in one hand before taking my hand in the other.
When we got home, we went straight to the room. It seems to be the running thing when we were away from each other for amount of time. I didn't even unpack. I couldn't because I needed to move and my lips were attached to my person and they were being attacked by Edward's. Not that I was complaining about it; quite the opposite.
But I couldn't enjoy this. The only reason was because that thing he was texting me about two days before was bugging me. And I wouldn't have seen the tie he was wearing in the picture hanging on the closet door. I didn't notice it when we walked in, but now since I was on my back and looking that way, I saw it. so I had to bring it up.
"Edward." I said. he hummed against my neck. I hate myself for not being able to enjoy this as much as I wanted to. "Stop, I want to talk to you." I told him. He pulled away and looked at me. "Did you get it?" I asked hopeful when he was looking at me.
"I was hoping you forgot our talk. I kinda didn't want to talk about it. What reminded you?" he said. I nodded to the tie on the closet. He turned to see what I was talking about. He gave a soft and short laugh as he turned back to me. "I should've put that damn thing up better." He noted.
"So…" I said, hoping he would finish.
He sighed and rolled off of me but didn't move away from me. He wrapped his arm around my waist. I snuggled to his chest. "No. I didn't." he said.
I looked at him with a sad face. "I'm sorry."He shrugged in response. "Well, what did they say?" I said. There had to be a reason not to hire him; besides the obvious.
He sighed again. "They said everything looked great and I was perfect for the job"
"But…" I said for him.
"But there was that small fault on it."
"Your record." I finished for him with a disappointed look. He nodded. It was my turn to sigh. That sucks. Everything about him was perfect. But you can see the mistakes even on the most beautiful painting if you look close enough. "I'm sorry." I said again. I really didn't know what else to say. What else could I say? I felt like everything else would just sound like I was patronizing him.
"It's okay; I guess."
"Are you sure?" I asked. It seem like he would more disappointed than me. I couldn't be the only one who thought this sucked for him.
He sighed hard. "How else can it be? I can't fucking change what happened and pouting about it sure as hell won't help me. I'll just have to hope for the next one." He said blandly.
I nodded. "That's one way to think about it." I told him. I moved so close to him "You'll get something." I told him.
"Right." He said before pulling me on top of him. "If you don't mind, I really don't want to think about it right now."
XXX
About two weeks after Alice and I came home from visiting Jacob and Leah and I was officially on spring break now. But I can't enjoy my break fully because of my evil physiology professor. Instead of a normal exam like everyone else, I have to write a 50 page research paper. Kinda like a final project thing. I was doing mine on how colors affect the mood of a person. Well, I was trying to. I was having a hard time getting started.
I was sitting at the table with my laptop, trying to think of a starting paragraph. I could write when I have an idea. When I don't have anything to start with, I might as well be shooting blanks. I had just started writing when my phone rang. I picked it up and put it to my ear. "Hey Alice." I greeted, already knowing who it was.
"Hey, what are you doing?" she said.
"Trying to work on this paper. You?" I asked her.
"Same, but I'm stuck. Can I come over for a while to free my mind?" she asked.
I was hesitant. "I don't know. Edward will be coming home soon."
"And we can't have him seeing you with your friends." She said in a dark tease. I rolled my eyes at that.
"Stop that." I snapped. "You know that's not what it is. It's just he'll coming home from an interview and he's always a little antsy when he comes from one." I said.
"Another one? Isn't that like the third one this month?" she asked. He's sending him résumé out left and right. He's been doing it for while but he's seems more anal about it lately. I know there's nothing for me to say to him, so I don't say anything.
I sighed. "He really wants to work again."
"I will never understand that." She said. I'm pretty sure she was shaking her head. I felt the same way. I didn't get why working was just so important to him. but I rather him drive himself crazy looking for work than driving himself crazy by sitting in the house all day.
"I won't either. Anyways, I don't know what kind of mood he will be in when he gets here. And I know he would beat himself up if he snaps at you or at me in front of you. So it might be best to leave us alone for a while."
I heard sigh hard into the phone. "What am I supposes to do then?"
"Go hang out with Jasper. It's not like you really need me anymore to do that. and plus, maybe you guys will finally get somewhere." When I said that, I heard the door open. I looked to the door to see him walking in. "He's home; I'll call you later." I told her.
"Alright. See ya." She said in a bored voice before hanging up. I was hanging up and setting my phone on the table when he walked into the kitchen.
"Who were you talking to?" he asked as he walked in.
"Just Alice." I told him as I looked back to my laptop screen.
"You didn't have to hang up." He said.
I shook my head. "She didn't want anything. She's stuck on the paper."
"Oh." He walked over to me and kissed me on the top of the head. "How are you doing with it?" he asked. I shrugged. I saw him walk over to the refrigerator. I was silently relieved when I saw him pull out a water bottle. I didn't let him see it because I knew he would say something about me saying something about him drinking. We kept beer in the house and it was like four bottles in the frig. I didn't have a problem with him drinking. What I had a problem with was that he did it when he was depressed
"So how was your day?" I asked him. it was his turn to shrug. He opened the bottle and sat across from me to drink from it. "How was the interview?" I asked. I eased that question out.
He sighed at that. "Same thing as the last few. My resume is excellent, I'm a great chose, everything about me is just right; until they get to the motherfucking part of me being in fucking prison for five damn years. Then of course they ask why did I go."
"What do you tell them?" I asked.
He rolled his eyes like I was asking a dumb question I should already know the answer. "What the hell do you think I tell them? I tell them the fucking the truth. That I took a relationship with one of my damn students a step too fucking far. Then they said they will call me."
I got a little hopeful at that. no other place told him that. "This one maybe different than the others." I said.
He gave a weak chuckle. "Yeah fucking right. I will be turned down just like the others." He responded before taking another gulp of his water.
"Negative thoughts doesn't help, Edward." I reminded him.
"Too bad that's not just a damn thought but a fucking fact, Bella." He responded. He placed the bottle on the table so he could have his hands free to cover his face. He tiled his head back and groan loudly in frustration. "This shouldn't be this fucking hard. I mean there are jackasses with a way worst damn record than mine and yet they get jobs." He said.
"Yeah, but not their first year out. Just give it time."
He sighed hard as if what I was saying was just annoying him. "I feel like I'm giving a lot more than motherfucking time, Bella."
I sighed back. "You're upset. I und…"
"If you value my goddamn sanity, please don't say you fucking understand. Because to be a little honest Bella, I don't think you have damn clue how I feel." He said with his face still covered.
I gave a sad sigh, though I doubt he notice it. "What do you want me to say, Edward?" I asked softly. I was doing nothing but trying to be helpful and understanding. Maybe the harder I try, the more he just get very annoyed. And to be quite honest, it wasn't fair that he snap at me like it was my fault when all I was trying to show him I was there for him. but I don't bring it up because I know watching what he said to or around me wasn't something he needed to stress about right now.
"Say…" he started, then he shook his head. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess." He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. He ran his hand through his hair. "My head is starting to hurt. I'm going to go get something then take a shower and maybe a short nap." He told me before getting up.
"Okay. Feel better." I called after him.
He sighed hard as if the hope was a stressful request he had to fulfill. "Easier said than done, babe." He called back.
After about a half a hour, I figure he decided to take that nap. I was glad he did. If anyone asked me, enough was enough. He was too stress and he needed to relax. I knew the exact way to make him.
I looked to the stairs to make sure he wasn't coming down or I didn't hear him walking around. I needed to make a call and I didn't want to chance him over hearing it. The reason I was trying to be sneaky because he would be more than pissed if he found out what I was doing before I told him.
I grabbed my phone and went to the call log. I went to the name and press on it. it rang about three times before I heard a female voice. "Forks Hospital." She greeted.
"Hi, May I speak to Dr. Carlisle Cullen, please?" I asked politely.
"May I ask whose calling?" she said.
"Isabella Swan. I'm his…" I hesitated on what to say next. What I wanted to say wasn't really true. Hey, desperate times calls for desperate measures. So I went for it. "I'm his daughter-in-law." I told the girl on the other end
"Okay; one second please." I waited a minute before I heard a click and then a male voice.
"Hi 'daughter-in-law'." He teased when he picked up the line. He kind of sounded like Edward and Jasper. If I didn't know any better, I would think it was one of them.
I gave a slight smile. "Hi Carlisle. Are you busy?" I asked.
"No, I was doing paperwork." He informed me.
"I can call back."
"Bella, it's fine. I need to take a break anyways because I think I'm getting headache." He joked. I gave a very small giggle at his poor joke. "Anyways, what I do for you dear?" he asked.
"I kinda need to talk to you."
"Is Edward okay?" he asked. His voice went from teasing to concern.
"Yeah, everything's fine. More or less. I have to ask you a favor and I don't want Edward to hear about it because he would kill me if he knew I went behind his back, but I feel he needs this."
"What is it, Bella?" he asked. I took a deep breath before asking him what I needed to.
R&R. or not, i dnt care.
Luv & Rockets
