A/N Thank You for all of your reviews each one means so much! I would of updated sooner but I have been moving all week. Hope you like it!

Izzi

"Hey, Brooke, have you seen Hunter?"

"Hunter?" The infamous big-eyed beauty of Tree Hill High looks at me like I'm crazy and I realize that a straight answer from her is hopeless—she's already hammered. Her breath smells like cheap beer. "No, I haven't seen him. But guess what? I've only been here for an hour and I've made out with like, two or three guys. Actually it may have just been one guy—I'm not totally sure. But whatever. This party is awesome!"

"Mhm, that's great, Brooke," I answer absently, looking around desperately for Hunter. Dammit. I promised Nate and Lucas I would keep an eye on him and I've managed to lose him in the first ten minutes of being here. Where has that short bastard gone? "Well, I'll see you later," I say, but Brooke is already gone, chasing a better opportunity on the other side of the room. I roll my eyes and keep looking.

I pass an infinite number of couples making out—including Lucas and Peyton, who I make a point to get the hell away from—and feel a sharp pang of longing to have Skills here with me. I've seen him maybe three times this summer—his family goes on a lot of vacations, and as he left for one right after we got together, we haven't spent a lot of time as a couple. It figures that the first boyfriend I've had since the tenth grade would spend the whole summer out of town.

I am just beginning to head upstairs when a hand covers my eyes. "Hey, baby—hey, hey, stop hitting me! It's me, Skills."

I uncurl my hand from its fist and spin around. My ears aren't deceiving me—he really is here. "Skills! What are you doing here?" He kisses me and I realize how much I have missed the taste of him. "Sorry about the hitting. Automatic response."

"It's alright. I was going to tell you I was coming home today, but I found out about the party and wanted to surprise you. You're not mad, are you?"

"Of course not," I chuckle, winding our fingers together. "So, how have you been? I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too. You look beautiful tonight." His voice has gone all husky and low and I can feel the few sips of alcohol I've had burning in my veins. He puts a hand on my arm. "You want to get out of here? We can…uh….catch up somewhere where we can actually hear each other."

I giggle. "I'd love too, but…."

"But?"

I bite my lip. I did make a promise….but Hunter's a big boy. I'm sure he'll be fine on his own. It may be selfish, but I deserve this much."Nothing. Let's go, handsome." I walk backwards up the stairs, keeping him in sight the whole time. By the time we close the door behind us, I have forgotten all about my search.

I slip out of the bedroom a few hours later with a hurried apology to Skills and resume looking for Hunter, ashamed of myself. The party is subdued now; since they are finished dancing and playing drinking games to impress each other, couples are dancing, flirting, hooking up with each other while romantic music plays on some hidden radio. I keep my head down, using my peripheral vision to scan the room—I don't want anyone to notice me and try to start a conversation. I don't have time for anything but what I should have done hours ago.

In the end, he gives himself away. He's too used to snapping his head up when he hears his name—he can't stop himself, even when he's trying to hide. I close the back door behind me and sit down next to him. "Hey, little brother."

"Hey." He doesn't look at me, just lifts a telltale Solo cup to his mouth and takes a long drink. It is recognizable by smell as Peyton's famous mixture of whiskey, beer, and lemonade. I ease it out of his hands and throw it behind me. Two of those things are enough to make anyone hammered.

"Easy there. How many of these have you had?"

"Not nearly enough." He puts his head in his hands. "I screwed up, Izzi. I screwed up so badly."

I am horrified to see that he is shaking. I put a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. "What are you talking about? What's wrong?"

"She'll never forgive me. It's over. It's over," he sobs. "I feel like I'm falling apart. You have to help me."

"Look, it's gonna be okay. You're just drunk and emotional. Let me just say goodbye to Skills and I'll take you home…."

"No!" He pulls me back down by the wrist. "I'm the reason my parents died. I distracted my mom and caused the car accident that caused my father's suicide. I had a friend back home—Lailin—and I wanted to call her so bad, but I couldn't because I was too guilty. She was too good and I was too bad. And now she's told me how mad she is at me and I'll never get her back. The last person I had left, the only girl I've ever loved, she's gone. I've screwed everything up. Everything." He takes a big gulp of air and hugs himself around the middle like he's trying to hold himself together. "I've been sitting here for hours trying to decide if I'm going to throw myself in that lake over there, but I'd probably mess that up, too. I can't do anything right."

What the hell do you say to something like that? I sit speechless, letting him grip my hand for dear life and grasping for words like straws.

As usual if I get three reviews by the end of the day I will update late tonight or tomorrow!

-Kenya