Willie was desperate. He had long ago abandoned any pretense of toughness or surety. He was simple a desperate man with a dangerously ill friend and he wanted to go home. He glanced down at Mike beside him who looked gray and shivered with cold. He pulled the coat around him again, careful of his wound.
"Hang in there, man." He said looking down, but Mike offered no response.
He glanced around again. Things had settled down into an uneasy tension since the argument had broken out. He knew if he looked behind him toward the back of the warehouse, he would see the bodies of the three men who had led the uprising against the leader. He didn't like to think about it too much. One of them had been the same age as him. It was times like this that made him doubt his decision to join the force. He always seemed more burdened down with the weight of the darkness that they faced. As angry as he was about being in this situation, as angry as he was about Mike being shot, he still felt sorrow over the men who had taken them.
"Jill?" Mike asked again.
Willie sighed. Mike's fever had risen and with it he had become somewhat delirious - calling out for Jill again and again. It shattered whatever toughness Willie had left.
"It's me man." He told him, leaning closer. "It's Willie."
"Goo . . ." He shivered violently. "Good. Too ugly to be Jill."
"That's the truth." Willie agreed. "Drink some water." He said handing him the small cup they'd given the two of them to share.
"If you get a cha . . .chance," Mike said through chattering teeth. "Go."
"Stop talking like that." Willie said. "We'll get out of here just wait."
"Look for chaos." Mike continued. "Tha . . . that's your chance."
"I'm not leaving you behind." Willie told him. "You are talking crazy, man. There's no way."
"Tell J. . .J . . .Jill . . ."
"Jill would have my hide if I left you behind. Forget it Mike. Quit talking. Save your strength."
"Stuff I wanna say."
"Great, tell her later yourself." Willie felt an unreasonable anger rising. "Forget it, Mike! I'm not a damn messenger boy! You tell your wife yourself." His raised voice drew the attention of their captors who whispered to each other, their angry eyes on the two of them.
"Shut up man." He whispered to Mike. "They're coming this way."
"Is he dead, yet?" The brown-haired one asked him.
"Nope. Alive and kicking." Willie said trying to sound nonchalant.
The man leaned closer, looking down at Mike. He kicked at Mike's foot with his boot. "He don't look so good. Won't be long now."
"Nah, he always looks like that." Willie said and he watched as their captor shook his head and walked away again.
"Don't like us much." Mike gasped out.
"Not much, no." Willie agreed. He sighed and looked around again. They had to get out here! Mike wouldn't last much longer.
***R***
Jill Danko had completely lost all track of time. She didn't know how long it had been since she had swung open her front door to find Lieutenant Ryker standing before her. She had no idea if it was night or day anymore. She simply spent every minute beside Terry - first waiting for him to awaken from his surgery, and then to help him as he struggled to recover. She knew some time must have passed for the surgery was behind him, and now he was fully conscious. He was now experiencing a fair amount of pain but he pretended that he was fine. She studied him now, seeing him wince with pain when he thought she wasn't looking.
"You need more pain medicine." She said to him.
"I'm fine." He muttered but his voice was strained with pain.
"No, you aren't. Don't be stubborn, Terry. I'm a nurse, you know. You shouldn't suffer if you don't need to. I'll get your nurse." She rose and came back with a young blond nurse who immediately gave him a shot.
"No, I don't . . ." He said, but they both ignored him. The blond nurse disappeared almost as quickly as she had arrived.
"Don't try and hide it." Jill smoothed the blankets around him. "Anyone with any sense can see right through it, okay?"
"I got no right to complain." Terry explained.
"You'll feel better soon and it isn't complaining." Jill said, standing beside his bed. "Tell me next time, okay?"
"How can I . . . when they . . .?" He asked her. "It isn't right. Mike's . . ." He stopped himself as at the sound of her husband's name, Jill drew in a sharp breath.
"I'm sorry." He said groggily. The medicine was already beginning to kick in. "Jill, he'll be . . ."
"You should sit back and rest." She said brusquely. "Stop talking and rest."
"You're one to tell me to stop hiding." He said softly. "Don't try and hide it." He threw her own words back at her. "Anyone with any sense can see right though it."
"Terry." She warned him. "I can't . . .not now."
"Then . . . stop . . . picking . . . on . . .me." His eyes drifted shut against his will.
Jill bit her lip and fought down another threatening wave of tears. She sank back into the chair, her eyes on Terry, but she wasn't thinking of him or even really seeing him. She was thinking of Mike's beautiful blue eyes, and how it felt when he smiled at her. She was trying to remember again what she had said to him just as he had walked out the door. It seemed years ago now, that they had all sat down for dinner; a lifetime. She was grateful that she hadn't been angry when they had all left. Sometimes she was and it would be horrible to be sitting where she was now waiting for him and remember the unkind way they'd said goodbye.
Before Terry and Willie had come over, they'd had a whole day off together. They'd spent the first half in bed - some of it even sleeping, and the other half shopping together - looking for a mirror for the hallway. She was happy that he was willing to come along. Shopping wasn't high on Mike's list of the perfect day off, but then on the way back he'd driven them out to the beach, and they'd spent an hour or two walking along the waves together. She thought of it almost constantly now - that whole day. She remembered the feeling of his hand in hers and the soft sand beneath their feet - the sound of his voice, low and mellow as they talked - the sound of his laughter. She was fortunate - usually their days consisted of brief minutes in passing - a kiss on the way out the door with a wave and a "I'll see you tonight!" At least, if nothing else, she would have the memory of a good day spent together. She glanced around the room again, feeling restless.
She wandered down the hall without any real destination, but when a few of the nurses - her friends - looked like they might walk to her to offer concerns and comfort - she quickened her pace as though she had a destination in mind. She found herself outside the chapel then. She hadn't been back since she and Ryker and come here. She had clung tightly to his hand like a small, frightened child as they had prayed for Willy, Terry and Mike.
She wished that all of this were some terrible nightmare and she would open her eyes and find him sleeping beside her - snoring. God! She would give anything if her biggest problem right now was trying to fall asleep to the sound of his snores.
She sat down on the last pew in the little chapel, staring at the cross at the front. She couldn't think of a single word to pray. Part of her was able to see that she was coming undone - certainly the nurse side of her recognized that she was a young woman in a high stress situation who hadn't slept or really eaten in days - she was a woman on the verge of collapse. She could feel it - her resolve to stay strong faltering.
She studied the cross again thinking, "Why, God, why? He's such a good man. He's the best man I know. Why would you let him be shot? Why would you let evil take him? Please, please bring him home to me! Please!"
She rose quickly, recognizing that if she spent too much more time here, she would most definitely fall apart completely. She turned intending to go back to Terry's room and wait, but instead she saw Lt. Ryker walking down the hall toward her.
***R***
"Listen, man." Mike whispered. "Too long now."
"Shh. Be quiet."
"No. Gonna end soon. They can't hold out." He gave a half-hearted attempt at a chuckle. "Me either."
"Stop saying that!" Willie's voice rose in frustration.
"Kid. Sorry." Mike reached out and rested on Willy's arm. "You're the only way to talk to Jill."
Willie sighed feeling the intense burden of facing her; Mike's wife; Mike's widow. He thought of Jill's big brown eyes and the way they always rested on Mike. When he'd first met her, he'd been so intimidated. She was so beautiful that he found talking to her difficult. She was unbelievably sweet, but there was an underlying toughness, and he knew without her ever saying one word that if he ever let anything happen to Mike - he'd have to answer to her; which was exactly what he was facing.
He and Terry both teased Mike mercilessly - an old married man always running home to his wife. But in truth, they were both jealous. It wasn't just that Jill was an absolute knockout - those big brown eyes, and vast ocean of beautiful, brown hair, but it was so much more than that. She was completely devoted to her husband. Just one look at the two of them together, and anyone could see they were solidly connected; united. Willie couldn't imagine what that would feel like - to have someone so devoted at your side every day. He couldn't imagine one without the other - which was just what Mike was imaging right now. Willie tried to imagine how desperate Mike must feel - afraid that he was leaving her behind; leaving her alone.
"Okay, man." Willie relented. "Lay it on me."
"Tell her . . .I'm sorry." Mike's voice was so faint now, and yet in passing this message along, it seemed to gain a small sliver of strength. "I can't . . .I can't explain how much I love her - not if I had hundreds of years. I love her smile and her laugh, and the way she brushes her teeth."
Willie looked at Mike with eyebrows raised.
"No, man. She scrunches up her nose - it's . . .never mind. Leave that out. Just make sure and tell her how much I . . ." He looked up into Willie's face. "You are so young. Ryker was right. You are just a baby."
"Hey, Mike." Willie said beginning to feel a rising tide of panic. "Don't quit, man. C'mon. You can't just leave Jill like this. She'll be . . .hang in there."
"You are gonna be a good cop William." Mike's blue eyes were filled with tears. "Keep an eye on Jill. You and Terry both. Promise me you'll make sure my girl is happy. That's all I want. God! Her smile! You tell her I only want her happy." His eyes locked on Willie's in desperation. "Don't ever get married, Willie. You'll just break that girl's heart as she watches you rush out into danger. She's spent so much time worrying. I . . .this is just what she feared, and I won't be there to . . . I'm sorry." Mike's eyes closed. "I'm sorry. Baby, you can't know how sorry I am."
Willie fought down tears as he listened to Mike repeat over and over, "I'm sorry." He knew that they were out of time now. Mike would be dead by morning. He thought again of Jill, remembering walking with her into the station house last year when Mike had been taken hostage on that Sunday afternoon. She had leaned heavily against him and Terry, and yet had remained composed. He had been stunned by her strength.
He couldn't face her and tell her the things Mike had said. He couldn't face her and tell her that all her world had been destroyed by an idiotic band of gangsters who couldn't manage to keep from fighting one another. He couldn't let Mike and Jill be torn apart. He had to do something!
He looked up sharply at the sound of a comotion. He couldn't tell if there was activity coming from outside, but he could hear the sounds of another argument. What had Mike told him? Wait for chaos? Well, chaos was here. Now, was there chance.
