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Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own the characters.
On The Road
Chapter Five: Fears, Tears and Holding hands
'No!' Rory yelled into the phone, it was 7am and she'd just woken up in a motel room a few miles from Vanderbilt and had called her mom who had just told her of her dad's plans for custody.
'He can't do that!' Rory shouted waking Jess who was on the floor since the room didn't have a couch this time, he looked up at her in concern and wondered what was wrong.
'Well that's what he's planning on doing but don't worry I'm not going to let him.' Lorelai said feeling far calmer now than she had when Chris had first announced his plans to her, she was currently sitting in Luke's apartment after coming to him in need of support.
'Mom please don't let him do this, I don't want to leave you.' Rory cried pacing the room.
'I know sweets.'
'Do I need to come home? Will that make things better.' Rory asked though she really didn't want to go back yet because she was having a really good time with Jess.
'No, honey listen I wasn't happy about you leaving without telling anyone and I'll admit if you'd asked I would have locked you in your bedroom however now you're gone and you've explained why I do understand it and if you think you really need to do this, for you or Jess or whatever then I trust that and you should do it, to be honest I think it's better if we get this sorted out before you come back, having you here may just heighten the situation even more, just trust that I won't let anyone take you away from me, even though technically Jess has done exactly that.' Lorelai replied.
'He has not.' Rory smiled.
'You're just saying that because he's in the room aren't you, or has he gone out because there was something I wanted to talk to you about so if he's there just say 'snicklefritz' then I'll know.' Lorelai said lightly.
'Mom I think he'd notice and yes he's in the room with me at the moment.' Rory replied smiling over at him as he gave a half smirk half smile back.
'Oh so you guys have that open honest thing so there is no need for a code, ok well I guess I'll just ask you then, do you have feelings for Jess?' Lorelai asked.
'What? Mom…' Rory didn't know what to say, her mom had been right in thinking that this wasn't a conversation she wanted to have in front of Jess.
'Ok, ok don't answer just say good morning to Jess for me and tell him I'll break his neck if anything happens to you, let him know that Luke could really do with a call and then tell him that…oh hi Liz.' Lorelai trailed off her sentence as Liz entered her brothers apartment.
'Liz? As in Jess' mom Liz?' Rory asked seeing Jess' eyes go wide.
'Uh-huh, listen sweets could you hang on a second?' Lorelai asked.
'Sure.' Rory placed her hand over the speaker on her phone and looked at Jess who was now pacing the room.
'Hey you ok?' Rory asked placing her free hand on his arm.
'My mother is a mess, just thinking about her being there and messing up my life again I just can't help but feel angry.' Jess replied.
'Uh Rory you still there?' Lorelai asked.
'Yeah, what is it?' Rory asked.
'Um well Liz she's in the apartment and I'm standing outside because I don't want her to hear but she wants to talk to Jess, but I felt I should warn you that she's a little out of it, drunk…I hope.' Lorelai said in a hushed tone.
'Jess, your mom wants to speak to you but my mom says she's a little out of it, she thinks she's drunk.' Rory said tentatively.
'Oh yeah I'm sure she's just drunk! I can't talk to her because all she'll do is try and make everything that happened in New York ok, and I won't listen to that again.' Jess refused.
'Mom I don't think that's a good idea.' Rory replied.
'Fair enough, I don't blame the kid.' Lorelai sighed realising that Jess had a lot to deal with and maybe a good reason why he acted out all the time. 'Is he ok?'
'He will be.' Rory answered.
'And you are you ok, I mean about your dad and all?' Lorelai asked.
'Yeah, well no but it's ok I think me and Jess are good for each other so even if we're not ok now we will be.' Rory said quietly. 'I'll call you later.'
'Ok sweets.' Lorelai replied hanging up the phone and then going in to face Liz.
'What was all that about your dad?' Jess asked trying to get his mind off his mother, Rory understood straight away and told him the whole story, by the end of it she was in tears as she realised her whole life would change if her father won custody, and that her relationship with her father would never be the same.
'I think you're the one who could do with a hug now huh?' Jess said a little awkwardly, Rory nodded her head and let Jess hold her in his arms and before long all the tears were forgotten and she felt safe.
'So you feel like talking or do you want to head out to Vanderbilt?' Rory asked pulling away from Jess' warm arms, he held her gaze for a moment before speaking.
'You really want to know?' Jess asked, 'It's not a nice story.'
'If it'll help you to tell me then yeah I want to know.' Rory said taking his hand and leading him to the small wooden table that was in the room, he took one chair and she pulled hers up next to his.
'Ok,' Jess took a deep breath. 'Liz's boyfriend that she has now was one of her old boyfriends from when I lived there, I hadn't seen him since I was thirteen years old, but then when I got sent back there after what happened with you and your arm and everything, he was there back in her life and back in mine. See when I was thirteen I went to juvenile hall for a while, Liz's boyfriend used to hit me all the time, sometimes until I couldn't even move, I'd be bruised all over and cut and bleeding and he'd just keep going because he was too wasted to notice that I was half dead on the floor.' Jess paused as Rory flinched, but she smiled sadly at him taking his hand and lacing her fingers with his to encourage him to go on.
'I told my mom what he was doing but she said she loved him and that I probably deserved it, and despite all the evidence of the cuts and bruises nobody at school or the police cared because I had a history of messing up in school, mainly other kids would start fights and I wasn't the type to back down, so when my mom told them that I'd just been fighting with other kids they believed her. It kept on like this until one night my mom was out and he came in completely wasted, I tried to get out down the fire escape like I often did but he found me and started attacking me, until I had broken ribs and could barely breath, and then he took out his pen knife and said he was really going to teach me a lesson, he stabbed it into my leg and then he held it to my throat, but somehow I managed to get some strength and I didn't mean for it to happen but I got the knife and stabbed him in the stomach to get him away from me, I was able to get out of the apartment then but a few hours later I was picked up by the police, he was fine just a flesh wound really and had told them I'd attacked him, my mom backed up the story and so I got sent to Juvi.' Jess said looking over at Rory and seeing the tears in her eyes, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him.
'Oh Jess, I wish I'd known how hard a life you had in New York, I never would have let Luke send you back, I…I'm sorry.' Rory hugged him tighter and he held her close.
'It's not your fault and I don't talk about that time because nobody believes me, and it had all started to get better, Liz's boyfriend had gone off somewhere when I got out and though my mom was wasted all the time and never around at least I didn't get beaten anymore, her other guys just ignored me and I retreated into books, but I started causing trouble at school, acting out because I wanted someone to look into why and see how unstable Liz was and get her help, but nobody would listen to me they just thought I was a messed up kid and so that's what I became, and then I came to Stars Hollow and I thought I'd go mad but then I met you and I started to have a life again but then when I went back and I saw him there, he started threatening me again and gave me a few punches to show he meant it, I was thrilled when you came to New York because I knew I had something to go back to stars hollow for, I knew you didn't blame me and so I came back…I came back for you.' Jess said quietly.
'And then Liz and that guy come to stars hollow.' Rory shook her head. 'I understand now why you left but Jess you could have told Luke, he cares about you and I know he would have believed you.'
'Maybe, but I couldn't take that chance.' Jess shrugged. 'So do you think any less of me?'
'No! Why would I, Jess none of this is your fault, you were so young and nobody would listen to you. I just wish I could make you feel better.' Rory said earnestly.
'You do make me feel better, just by being here and talking to me about books and being the one person who completely gets me.' Jess said honestly, his shields coming down now he was around the one person who he trusted one hundred percent.
'Good, because strange as it may be because I have…Dean….well I feel bad today because of what my dad's doing but just holding your hand makes me feel better.' Rory said quietly. 'Shall we go out, see Vanderbilt?'
'Sure.' Jess replied feeling relieved that he'd spoken about his past and that Rory wasn't judging him for it, or making the whole trip turn into something depressing, he knew that they could move past this awful morning and get back to their normal banter that they'd had in stars hollow.
As they reached the campus Jess gently brushed his hand against hers and she smiled slightly and she entwined their fingers, walking round the campus hand in hand.
