A/N: Thank you for all your reviews, keep them coming. So sorry it's taken me so long, I've been swamped with essays.
Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own the characters.
On The Road
Chapter Six: Day and Night
Rory and Jess got back to the motel after looking around Vanderbilt and meeting some more students and getting their contact details. It was 1pm and they were both feeling exhausted because of their late night driving and their walking around the campus in the heat. Now they were both ready for a rest so they were sat in their room watching the small flickering tv.
'Do you love him?' Jess asked suddenly, Rory choked on the soda she'd just drank and coughed a couple of times.
'Who?' Rory feigned innocence, keeping her gaze on the tv in front of her, she was lying on her stomach on the bed, with her head at the foot of the bed whilst Jess was sitting upright with his back against the headboard, so he couldn't see the look on her face which would have given him his answer right away.
'Bono, who do you think?' Jess said a little irritated by her mock innocence.
'Well I don't know you could have been talking about Bono, we've had stranger conversations.' Rory said trying to come up with a response to his original question.
'Fine I'll make it a little clearer.' Jess said firmly not willing to let her talk herself out of answering his question. 'Are you in love with Dean?'
'I don't know, are you in love with Shane?' Rory snapped back wishing she hadn't the minute it was out because it sounded jealous and bitter.
'No, but I never claimed to be. My question is still unanswered, do you love Dean?'
'I don't know! No, I probably don't love him.' Rory said rolling off the bed and switching off the tv which had become more of an annoyance than anything else.
'Then why are you still with him?'
'Because he's safe and kind and he loves me.' Rory replied leaning against the wall, she was facing him now and wondered what his next words would be.
'So that's what you've reconciled yourself to, being with someone you don't love and never will just because he's safe! You deserve more.' Jess said getting off the bed and opening the window to let in some air.
'Oh sure you can talk about people settling for the easy option! You say I deserve more than Dean, what about you? You're dating Shane, you're failing out of school because you don't even bother trying to get into college even though you'd walk into any top college in the country, so don't talk to me about deserving more!' Rory shouted back.
'Stop it, stop turning everything back on me, we're not talking about what I'm doing wrong or what I deserve right now, this ones about you because honestly you want to be an overseas correspondent and yet your settling for the safe option in Dean! Explain that one to me.' Jess shouted.
'I can study hard at school and college and get the qualifications, I can work hard in a job and get good at it, learn from others in the business and improve my skills, but there's no text book about love, there's no course I can take to make it work and so when I have a relationship with a guy who loves me and is kind then I should keep it, because yes it's the safe option but what else can I do? I don't want to take the risk of ruining it to get my heart broken.'
'And you'll spend the rest of your life bored out of your mind because you settled, I mean jeez Rory do you ever fight like this with him? Or is it what I've seen, the one sided him yelling and you not having a chance to fight back because your worried how he'll react or what it'll do to your precious relationship, why is it you can yell at me and tell me what you really think and feel but you can't with him!' Jess yelled loudly, the force of his words hit her and all anger floated away.
'Because,' She said quietly meeting his eyes. 'Because you don't judge me, you know me better than anyone else and you let me shout and yell and I know you'll always forgive me and I'll always forgive you, I can just be me around you but with Dean I feel I have to be this perfect version of myself that doesn't exist.'
'Then why are you still with him?' Jess asked quietly this time.
'I don't know.' Rory shrugged her shoulders letting out a sigh, 'I really just…don't know.' She said with tears in her eyes, Jess felt bad that he'd pushed her so far so he walked over to her and took her hand.
'Come on, I'll buy you a pizza.' He smiled leading her out the door, their fight left behind them they walked through the town to get some food before heading off on the next stint of their journey.
Rory sat in a motel room in St. Louis, they'd left at around four in the afternoon from Vanderbilt and headed towards Washington College, it had taken them seven hours to drive the five and a half hour journey in the end, after many coffee stops and Rory insisting on stopping every time she saw something she wanted a photo of, so now as the clock ticked over to 11 in the evening she laid back on her bed and dialled her mom's number.
'Hey hun how's the oh so secret trip going?' Lorelai asked.
'It's going really well, me and Jess had a fight this morning.' Rory said switching on the desk fan that was alongside her.
'Oh no, what happened? are you ok? Do I need to kick his butt? Do you want to come home? Are you still fighting? Is he there at the moment? Are you driving?' Lorelai rambled.
'Whoa! Let me see, we got into a fight over well…Dean and me and just my ability to block things out in aid of going for a safe choice, it's a long story. Yes I'm fine, no you don't need to kick his butt, no I don't want to come home yet, we're not still fighting and actually I think having a fight was a good thing, he's out at the moment renting a movie because I had to make him get it while we're here, and no we're not driving at the moment, we've stopped for the night.' Rory replied to all of her mom's questions.
'Oh well good, but how can having a fight be a good thing?' Lorelai questioned.
'Because it just showed me a lot about me and him and Dean and how we all have these different dynamics, and who I can be completely comfortable around you know.' Rory shrugged.
'Oh I see, well what did it show you?' Lorelai braced herself.
'That I need to end things with Dean because I can't fight with him, at least not how I do with Jess and I can't be myself around him, or just hang out and have easy banter, I always have to put in so much effort.' Rory replied sighing heavily. 'I know that relationships involve a lot of effort but I should be happy to make it, I mean I should be happy in the relationship shouldn't I?'
'Yeah you should, but hun this is a big decision are you sure about it?' Lorelai asked.
'I'm one hundred per cent sure.'
'But…I mean are you planning on breaking up on the phone? That's a bit…cold.' Lorelai replied.
'I know it is so I won't.' Rory said giving Jess a little smile as he walked in carrying the movie, along with a big bag of take-out.
'Well as long as you're sure, what does Jess think about all this?' Lorelai asked.
'Not sure.' Rory said evasively as Jess started setting up the movie and laying the food out in front of her on the bed.
'He's right there isn't he?' Lorelai said knowingly.
'Something like that, but listen I'll call you tomorrow because we're going to watch this movie now and eat an un-human amount of food.' Rory said catching Jess' eye.
'Sounds like fun, make sure you do call tomorrow I need to know more details about this proposed break-up.' Lorelai said. 'Love you sweets.'
'Love you too mom.' Rory replied hanging up the phone.
'You were talking about me weren't you?' Jess said sitting on the bed next to her.
'That's awfully big headed of you.' Rory said leaning forward and grabbing some fries.
'And that's extremely evasive of you.' Jess pointed out.
'I learnt from the best.'
'So does that mean you were talking about me?' Jess pried.
'What makes you think I would waste valuable phone time with my mom talking about you, I've been spending more or less 90% of my time with you, I'm starting to get sick of you.' Rory joked.
'Ah yes but you stopped talking in full sentences when I walked in, and you started blushing not to mention the deer in the headlights look you had going on.'
'I did not!' Rory swatted his arm but started blushing.
'You so did, so what were you talking about?'
'Cheese.' Rory said defiantly.
'Interesting, was it one of those which is you favourite conversations or was it something more along the lines of which cheese goes best with which meal?' Jess asked with a smirk.
'Fine we were talking about you, I just told her about the fight.' Rory said looking down at her hands, Jess sighed and groaned.
'Oh wonderful now she has even more reason to hate me, as if kidnapping her daughter wasn't enough she now knows that I provoked a fight.' Jess replied.
'She doesn't hate you, well at least not for the fight and she doesn't think you kidnapped me because hello I'm 18 and had a choice in the matter and she knows that.' Rory said grabbing the remote.
'I still think she hates me.' Jess replied taking the remote back and pressing the pause button.
'What now?' Rory sighed but smiled over at him.
'I wanted to ask you something.' Jess said fiddling with the remote in his hands.
'Go ahead.'
'Why did you decide to come with me? I mean all this time and how far we've travelled already and you could have gone home at any point, why are you staying?' Jess asked uncomfortably.
'Because I think you need me right now.' Rory said simply taking the remote back and resting her head on his shoulder. 'And I'm fairly certain I need you.' She whispered as Meet me in St. Louis started playing on the screen.
