It was the winter of our sophomore year. I had turned sixteen at the beginning of the year, and Natsuki was turning seventeen the next day. Haruka was insistent that I had to get her something meaningful. "You two have been dating for almost a year, Shizuru. You need to get her something meaningful."

"I don't think she cares, Haruka." We were waiting for our history class to start and she was standing at my desk. I was pulling the textbook out of my backpack and setting in on the table. "She told me that she just wants to spend some time together outside of school. So I thought I'd cook her dinner at her apartment and we could eat and watch a movie. You know, spend the night together."

"Spend the night together? Have you two ..." I gave her a confused look. "You know ... done it."

I had heard the term before, mostly from others who had done it. I never had applied it to my relationship with Natsuki before, at least until Haruka brought it up. "No. Do you think she wants to?"

"I'll bet. Why else would she want to be alone with you on her birthday?"

"I don't know, maybe because I'm her girlfriend. You don't know what you're talking about." The second bell rang and the rest of the students filed in to take their seats.

"I still think you should get her something special. Like a ring."

She walked away to take her seat but her words stayed with me all the way to lunch time. I sat with Natsuki as we usually did back then. She was eating with her usual quickness when she noticed that I wasn't. "Hey, what's wrong? You're not hungry? Usually you're picking off my plate by now."

I exhaled. "It's nothing, Natsuki. I'm just nervous, that's all."

"About what?"

"It's nothing, forget about it."

"You know I won't forget about it. If you're nervous then I'm nervous, so just come out with it."

I remember those words touching me, not necessarily the words themselves, but the genuine concern behind them. This wasn't just a friendly pat on the back. Natsuki was genuinely concerned for me, and my heart turned at the thought.

"It's about your birthday. I was talking to Haruka earlier ..."

"See, there's your problem. You need to stop talking to that dunce. She's corrupting your brain."

I giggled, but stayed on subject. "Anyway, I was talking to her about your birthday and she was thinking that I had to get you something big. Then I told her about how we were just going to spend the night together and she started talking about ... it, and now it's been on my mind all day."

I remember Natsuki gulped when I brought it up. Apparently it had been on her mind as well. I wonder what she would have done if I hadn't brought it up. Either way, when I brought it up her face turned as red as a firetruck. She stammered, "Oh ... is that ... you've been ... thinking about."

I loved that expression on her face, and the way she stammered was adorable. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "If it's that big of a problem, maybe I won't come over on your birthday."

"No!" She shouted and half the school looked over at us. She cast a mean look in their direction and they returned to their conversations. "I mean, I want you to come over. It has nothing to do with ... that. I just like being around you, that's all. You make me happy."

A smile creased my face and I wondered if she always knew just what to say, or if she was just lucky. "That's so sweet." I grabbed her hand and held it close to me. "You make me happy, too." She spent the rest of the lunch hour glued to my side. I only let her go when it was time to get to our classes.

My next class was English and I remember drifting off during the lecture. I must have been pretty far gone because the teacher, Mr. Sakomizu, slapped my desk and brought me out of my reverie. "Ms. Viola, would you care to answer?"

I looked up into his eyes with a mixture of embarrassment and confusion. "What was the question again?"

"What do you call a doctor who operates on the brain?"

"A psychiatrist." I smiled knowing I had caught him in a power play. Now he would have to admit that he was wrong about me not paying attention. At least, that's how it went in my head.

"Wrong. A neurosurgeon operates on the brain."

He showed me in the textbook where it clearly said 'Neurosurgeon' and I blushed. "Oh, I get those words confused a lot."

"If you payed attention in my class, which your parents have paid good money for I might add, you might not get so mixed up, Ms. Viola."

Some of the other kids laughed, most because it was nice to be watching Mr. Sakomizu's lecture instead of receiving one. A few because I had been a model student up until that point and they were happy to see me in a moment of weakness. I just felt a slight twinge of anger at the mention of my father, who I still had a small grudge against for the problem he caused Natsuki and I. "I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again."

"It's not for my benefit, child, but yours that I want you to pay attention. Remember this school does not give failing grades and I want you all to succeed."

"Yes, sir, I understand." I paid attention in that class for the rest of the year.

-IPR-

After school I waited for Natsuki by her bike, as had become tradition between us. I beamed when I saw her blue hair walk out of the building and towards me. She kissed me and I felt a heat in my stomach that I hadn't noticed before. She pulled away, but was surprised when I wanted more. I pulled her to me and held her close. It was the first time either of us had used our tongue.

When I finally stopped our eyes met and I knew that she felt the same way that I did. Her breathing was heavy, like she had just come from running a mile. My heart raced. "That was fun." I couldn't think of anything else to say.

She pulled me to her chest and stroked my hair. "So, are you still nervous about coming over?" I shook my head. "Then I'll see you tonight." She kissed me again, then got on her bike. The black car that had followed Natsuki during our entire first year at Fuuka was notably absent our sophomore year. Perhaps she worked things out with her mom, or maybe her mom saw me as a good influence and so was willing to trust Natsuki to me. I asked her once, but Natsuki never answered me.

I made my way to the curb to wait for my mom. When she pulled up I got in and she asked me about my day. When I told her about my date with Natsuki she frowned. "What are you going to be doing over there?"

"I just want to cook something for her birthday, mom. That's all." She dropped the subject there, but my mind kept going. "Mom, what's it like?"

"What is what like, dear?"

"You know ... when you're with someone you love."

"Oh." She grew tense and gripped the steering wheel so hard she nearly broke it. "Well first you have to be sure it is love. Sometimes things seem like love, but really it's something else. Sex ... it changes things."

"What kind of things?"

Her grip stayed tight. "Well, you really get to know each other. I mean you know each other now, but it's a really intimate experience. You let him into you and he lets you into him and you get a better feel for the other person. Their wants, their needs, their desires." She grew thoughtful. "At least that's how it was for me. I wonder if it's different with two girls."

"So it could be nothing like that."

"Love is love, darling, and I'm sure it's just the same, whether it's a man and a woman or two women. Either way, you'll grow even closer to the other person, like a link has been made between your hearts. Even when you're apart, you'll be able to feel each other."

I smiled, "I like that."

My mother breathed a sigh of relief. "Good, because if this conversation kept going, we might have ended up in a ditch."

-IPR-

That evening I bathed for an extra long time and put on my favorite dress. It was made of silk and it was dark blue, the same color as Natsuki's hair. I took an extra long time combing my hair out and I even put on some lipstick. When I went down to the living room my mom was waiting for me. "You look beautiful, Shizuru. Are you ready to go?"

"I just need to grab the food and my change of clothes then I'll be ready." I had spent a good bit of the previous evening in a grocery store trying to find exactly what I wanted to cook for Natsuki. I decided to make chicken Alfredo, my mom showed my how to make it when I was younger and I used to love eating it. I grabbed the bag of food and my backpack with my school uniform in it and we headed for the car.

I spent the whole car ride there thinking about the coming evening and our relationship up until that point. When we pulled up to Natsuki's apartment, my mom put a hand on my shoulder. "Listen, I don't know what you have planned, Shizuru, but just be careful. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing."

I looked her in the eyes. "It's okay, mom, Natsuki won't hurt me. I trust her." It was the truth, I trusted Natsuki with all my heart.

Her eyes watered and she pulled me into a hug. "When did you grow up? It still feels like yesterday you were playing with dolls and getting scraped knees from playing with the other kids. When did you get so big?"

I hugged her for a full minute before she let me go and I grabbed the food from the back seat. "I'm going to ride with Natsuki to school tomorrow. So I don't need you to pick me up tonight."

"Okay, but if you need anything just call, okay. I love you."

"I love you too, mom. Bye."

I walked up the stairs, butterflies in my stomach. Each step sent a chill up my legs and down my spine. When I got there the door was unlocked so I entered and Natsuki was bent over her TV. She turned around quickly when she heard the door and we spent a full minute staring at each other. "Hi."

"Hi." This was the first time we had ever really been alone together. The silence was deafening. "I brought the food."

The mention of food seemed to kick Natsuki into head. "I'll show you where everything is."

We went to the kitchen and she started pulling out the pots, pans and other utensils I would need to cook for us. While I was cooking, Natsuki was cursing from behind her TV set. "Is something wrong?"

"This VCR won't plug in right and it's making me mad." After wrestling with it for a while she finally stood up, "There, got it." She turned on the TV and put in a tape. The static cleared and the movie started. She paused it. "Ha, no TV is smarter than me."

I smiled as the cheese sauce cooked and the water for the noodles boiled. The chicken sizzled on the pan and I turned it when I felt arms around me. I melted into her embrace, for a moment forgetting about the food cooking on the stove in front of me. She smelled the air, "That smells delicious, Shizuru. I'm jealous, I can't cook at all."

I turned my head and kissed her on the lips. "That's why you have me."

I wished time had stopped in that moment. Before the accident, before we moved in together, before graduation, I wish we could have stayed there. Just two girls in love, but fate wouldn't be that kind to me.

She left me to cook, disappearing into her room. I busied myself with cooking, so much so that I didn't notice when she came back out of her room wearing nothing but a sheer slip. "Shizuru?" I looked up and dropped a spoon into the Alfredo sauce. "I bought it last week. Do you like it?"

My jaw dropped, the slip stopped just below her waist exposing her long, pale legs to me. I stammered, "Yes." then burned my hand getting the spoon out.

She smiled at me, a smile I loved and swore would do everything I could to see everyday of my life. I finished with the food and we sat at her table and ate. "I haven't eaten like this in a while."

"Your mom doesn't cook for you?"

"My mom is never here." Natsuki's eyes drooped. "She works in Washington D.C. so I never get to see her. She only comes over every so often to make sure I'm still okay, and to pay the rent on the apartment. Other than that it's just me here, and I can't cook so I mostly eat microwave meals and noodles. It's nice to eat something homemade for once." She leaned over the table and kissed me, "Especially if it's made by you."

She always had this way of making me feel special, whether it was with a touch, or a kiss, or her words. When she held me I felt like I could fly, when she kissed me I felt like the world didn't exist. Just the world she and I created.

After we ate I went to clear the dishes but she did, tossing them in the sink and swearing she would do them in the morning. I laid down on her couch and she slid in behind me, putting her arm around me and resting her head on the arm of the couch. She hit play on the movie and we lay together and watch it.

To this day I can't recall what movie we watched. I asked Natsuki just before the accident, but she didn't remember either. Maybe she was feeling how I felt then, our bodies pressed together, her hand on my thigh, her heartbeat so close to mine.

After the movie I excused myself to go to the restroom and stood looking at myself in the mirror. I didn't know what was going to happen that night, but I was ready. I found Natsuki in her bedroom. She turned and looked at me and we both knew what was going to happen. We stood three paces apart, neither of us wanting to close the distance. "You look beautiful, Natsuki."

"You do too, Shizuru." We took a step towards each other. I pulled at my shirt, for some reason I felt like I was wearing far too much clothing. Natsuki took another step towards me. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

I closed the distance between us and answered her with a kiss. "No, this is what I want." We kissed deeply and Natsuki slid the dress from my shoulders, exposing my chest. I slid the slip off of her smooth skin and just looked at her for a while. Her emerald eyes caught mine, asked everything of me and I wanted to give it all to her.

The temperature in the room rose at least ten degrees as we moved to the bed. Our bodies moved together with a passion that I had never known before, and afterwards we laid together in bliss.

"I didn't make plans to go home tonight. Can I sleep here?"

"Of course." She ran her hand through my hair. "I won't kick you out of my bed." Wait, is that right? That sounds familiar.

Anyway, we laid there together in silence until she said three words that defined my life with her. "I love you."

"You do?"

"Yes, I love you."

"Then promise me you'll tell me every day."

Natsuki kissed me, "I promise."

"I love you too, Natsuki." I rolled over and Natsuki put her arms around me. My kind started to wander and I started suddenly laughing. "Natsuki, would you still love me if I dyed my hair?"

"Yes."

"What if I was bald?"

"Nope."

"What?!"

Natsuki shrugged, "I'm sorry, but if you're bald then we're through."

I pouted, "I'd still love you if you cut your hair."

"Really? What if I cut it to my shoulders and dyed it red, then changed my name to Nao..."

-IPR-

Shizuru doubles over as an intense pain rips through her skull. The back of her head burns like it was cracked open and she feels a pulsing in the back of her head as if someone was cutting it. She screams as it becomes nearly unbearable. She looks up to see the doctor has not reacted, has not moved, has not even blinked.

"What is...?" She tries to recall the girl she had sex with the night before, but she can't picture her face, she can't remember the act, she can't even remember meeting her.

The pain subsides and she sits back in the chair, breathing hard. Al looks at her as if nothing has happened. "Would you care to continue?"

She calmed her breathing, but her memories of the previous night don't return. "I suppose we can go on to my junior year, when I ran for student council president."

Eight chapters in, time for a twist. I'm anxious to see how this goes over.