"Forgive me for startling you, I meant no offense." After Natsuki nearly struck the mysterious doctor, Masato had returned from getting a cup of coffee and had calmed Natsuki down. "I assumed that your father would have told you about my coming." The doctor spoke in an eastern accent that Natsuki couldn't place, it made his words sound heavy.
"My father...?" Natsuki realized he was talking about Masato. "Oh, he's not my father, he's Shizuru's father."
"Are you two not sisters?"
"No, she's my girlfriend."
"I see, I apologize."
"It's nothing."
While he was talking, the doctor was examining Shizuru carefully, being extra concerned with the cracks in her skull that had healed well in the past weeks. He also checked her spinal cord near the base of her neck for any more severe damage. He seemed satisfied with his findings, he jotted them down in a little black notebook he carried. "I told Mr. Viola that I would look at his daughter and see if anything can be done, and it looks like I have some good news for you."
Both Masato and Natsuki perked up at his words, neither of them had heard any good news regarding Shizuru in a long while. "While her skull was fractured it absorbed a large part of the impact, most of the damage to the brain is frontal lobe, which is something I specialize in, and is not necessarily a death sentence." He turned to Masato, "With your permission I would like to begin operating soon. Now, I must warn you, while I feel the operation has a large chance of success, it is not one hundred percent. It will also be a lengthy process. I do not expect results within the first month or two. These things take time."
"Whatever it takes, Dr. Heinrich, I just want to see my daughter again." Masato smiled for the first time since the accident and shook the doctor's hand. "Thank you for coming out here today. It means the world to me."
"I have a daughter of my own, I understand completely." He turned then to Natsuki, who was a bit more skeptical than Masato, but still lighthearted. "And what about you, Ms...? I'm sorry I didn't get your name."
"It's Natsuki, Natsuki Kuga." She shook the doctor's hand and was surprised to find it strong, it gave her some comfort in the success rate of the operation.
"Well met, I'm Dr. Alfonse Heinrich. I've been a neurosurgeon for over twenty years now. In all that time I have only lost two patients." Natsuki's apprehension started to wear off, replaced with outright glee. "Have faith, child, I will do everything possible for your lover."
Natsuki threw her arms around the doctor and pulled him into a hug. He patted her on the back and Masato laughed aloud. Dr. Heinrich looked at him questioningly. "This is the most affection I've seen her show anyone other than Shizuru. It's good to see."
As soon as he said this Natsuki backed away from the doctor. "I'm just happy that we can do something for her." She faced Masato. "I've got to get some sleep, I have school in the moning."
"Really? What for, if I may ask?"
"I'm going to be a motorcycle mechanic."
The doctor nodded his head several times. "I see. It was nice to meet you Ms. Kuga, and I will begin the operations immediately."
-IPR-
Dr. Heinrich's first session took place one week after his conversation with Masato and Natsuki. It was a grueling ten hour procedure that produced no visible difference in Shizuru's condition. He remained unperturbed, however, and continued to treat her even as her body withered away. By the one month anniversary of the accident, Shizuru weighed less than half of what she had before and her skin had lost all color and warmth. Natsuki stayed strong, however, confident in the doctor's skills.
Dr. Heinrich would not give her much to hope for. After a month of operations he had managed to produce no visible change in Shizuru's condition but Natsuki never lost hope. Natsuki's health started to suffer as her classes, as well as the internship that she had resumed, left her little time for anything else. Between that and being at the hospital each night she found less and less time to sleep and eat. She still continued her therapy sessions, however, and these seemed to help her mood.
Natsuki was returning to the hospital from one of these sessions when she was met by one of the best signs she had seen in the five months since the accident. Shizuru's eyes were open.
Dr. Heinrich was crouching over her with a pen light, trying to get the eyes to move. They didn't respond, something seemed to be missing and Natsuki realized what when she looked closer into them. There was no consciousness behind them. The doctor looked up and smiled at her when he noticed her shadow fall over the bed. "We have a sign, Natsuki. It's working."
"It doesn't seem like she's out of it yet."
"No, but her eyes opening is a good sign. It means that the mind is healing itself. This is what I've been working to achieve, now all it takes is time." Shizuru blinked, an involuntary reaction she knew, but it was nevertheless reassuring. "You should try talking to her, Natsuki. It might help her recover faster, she needs to relearn how to respond to outside stimuli."
Natsuki took Shizuru's hand and clutched it to her chest, being very careful around the IV hooked up at the wrist. Dr. Heinrich took that as his cue to leave, he put his hand reassuringly on Natsuki's shoulder on the way out. "Shizuru, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can I want you to know that I love you and that I will wait for you as long as it takes."
It was awkward at first for her to converse with her unconscious girlfriend, but as time passed she grew more comfortable with it and eventually came to enjoy the release. She would tell Shizuru about her day, about how her classes were going, about how work was grueling and about her therapy sessions. It was cathartic.
Nearly a month after Shizuru's eyes opened, Natsuki was sitting in the chair beside the bed and telling Shizuru about her latest semester of classes when Shizuru jerked suddenly and the EKG started to beep wildly with her fluctuating heart rate.
She panicked as the door flew open and nearly every nurse on call that night rushed into the room. "What's happening!?"
"She's flatlining." The head nurse took immediate control of the situation. She turned to one of the others. "Bring the defibrillator, quickly." She turned to Natsuki. "Stand back, Natsuki, we'll handle this."
She did as she was told and stood away from the table while the nurse returned with the defibrillator. The older woman took the paddles and rubbed them together, the spark ignited and she placed the paddles just over Shizuru's chest. "Clear." She said in a loud voice as she pressed the paddles downward and Shizuru jumped from the bed. Tears fell down Natsuki's face and she sunk to the floor. "Breathe." Her voice is cracked. "Please breathe, Shizuru."
"Clear." The nurse pressed the paddles down again and Shizuru jumped again, only this time when she returned to the bed the EKG lit up again. Her chest moved up and down again with her steady breathing and Natsuki stood up from the ground. "It looks like she made it."
Masato ran in not long after, having received the call that his daughter had flatlined. The nurses all left except for the head nurse, who stayed behind to talk to Masato and Natsuki. "This is bad. Her body is deteriorating and I don't know how much longer she has. If she doesn't recover soon, she's not going to recover." The nurse lowered her head, "You might want to think about pulling the plug."
Natsuki visibly angered and the nurse rushed to explain. "We don't know what it's like in there, but if she's suffering then you have the power to end it, Natsuki."
"No, out of the question." Natsuki shook her head, Masato stayed silent.
"Aren't you being selfish? I understand you want her back, but even if she recovers there's no way of telling if she'll ever walk again, much less be able to feed and clothe herself, or even use the restroom by herself. Maybe you should let her go."
Natsuki clenched her fists. "I will not."
"I agree." Masato's deep voice punctuated Natsuki's claim. "She will come out of this, we just need to be patient."
The nurse raised her hands. "It's your decision, I'm just making sure it's what she and you want." She returned to her desk and Saeko's words ran through Natsuki's head. If she doesn't come back, you're going to have to live with it.
She fell into the chair beside the bed and let her mind drift, Masato looked worried but took his daughter's hand and started to converse with her. "We're falling apart without you, Shizuru. You're mother is a wreck and I can barely work anymore. I just...want to hear your voice again." His head suddenly jerked upward, his eyes widened in shock. Natsuki noticed and cocked her head to the side in the silent question. What happened? "She just squeezed my hand."
"What?"
"She did, I swear it." He brushed her hair back with his free hand. "Come on, Shizuru. Do it again." He received not response and started to wonder if he had imagined it. "Squeeze my hand if you can hear me." Still nothing and he somberly stood from the bed. "Maybe I did imagine it."
Masato left the room to clear his head and Natsuki could swear she saw he fingers of her hand move ever so slightly. Or maybe it was her imagination.
-IPR-
Over the next two weeks Natsuki stayed at the hospital more often than not, her bed in the house she and Shizuru had shared went unused. Her complexion started to suffer, deep bags under her eyes from lack of sleep and knots in her hair from lack of care. She would talk to Shizuru when she was 'awake' and merely hold her hand while she slept. It was a calming exercise for her.
Her schedule hadn't changed pace, she still went to school most mornings, left the grounds and headed for her internship, where she worked long shifts then left and headed for the hospital. She did this for a while, until one day when she left her morning classes and headed to work already exhausted from running herself ragged.
After working an eight hour shift that never seemed to end she got on her bike again, really feeling the pain in her legs, and headed for the hospital. Her stomach grumbled at her over the sound of the engine so she decided to stop at a burger joint along the way. She ordered a hamburger, extra mayo, and a soda. She drank the soda before she left the lot, the burger sat in her backpack until she got to Shizuru's room.
She entered to find her eyes open, as they usually were at this time of night, she set her bag down on a nearby table, leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Hi, bella." She opens the bag she set down and pulls out the hamburger, the smell intoxicating to her after a few days of missing meals to keep her schedules. She sits on the bed next to Shizuru and opens the burger, tearing into it with a fervor. "Work was terrible today." Her mouth is full while she talks, but she doesn't care right now. "I swear they're going to put me in a bed like this."
The hamburger is gone before she can really enjoy it, she balls up the wrapper and tosses it into the nearby trash can. She pulls the only chair in the room towards the bed and sits down, taking Shizuru's nearly skeletal and deathly cold hand in hers. She takes a good look at the woman she loves, her face shrunken and disheveled, her body just skin and bones, her skin pale and pallid like the dead and, the worst blow, her lifeless eyes seeing nothing. "I miss you so much."
She feels the tears coming and doesn't try to stop them. In this room she has come to feel safe, her feelings open to what remained of her love. "You're wasting away and I can't do anything about it. You're dying." She can no longer keep her head up, it falls to the bed and lies on the white blanket. "Maybe they're right. Maybe I need to let you go."
Her mother's words keep echoing through her head. If she doesn't come back, you're going to have to live with it. She thought back on her childhood and realized that her mother had been right about a lot of things, and this was just another one of those things. She lifted her head and looked into Shizuru's dead eyes and, for the first time in a long time, saw in them the woman she loved. She felt a hand touch her cheek and her heart stopped.
It was Shizuru's hand.
