Can you believe the fact that I haven't updated in a YEAR? Because I definitely can. I'm that lousy. I'm so sorry and I don't think this chapter is going to be any consolation. . .because it doesn't really GET anywhere. I think I'm having a writer's block. But here goes. AND SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO REVIEWED MY STORY LAST TIME! You have no idea how happy that made me!


Married?

by: xArcherx

Chapter Five

"Eriol. . ."

It was that voice again. He turned sharply, scrutinizing his reflection in the mirror. The dark hair was his, the eyes looking tired but wary were his and the hands clenched into fists were all definitely his. But where was that voice coming from?

His mind counselled him to turn away, to dismiss that voice as a figment of his imagination and concentrate on other tasks at hand. He had planned to meet Syaoran but that had to be postponed when he had that conversation with Kaho. He was perturbed after the incident and his usually-imperturbable disposition was tipping precariously at the edge, threatening to expose his inner turmoil. He had to analyse the situation, his state of mind and—

"Eriol. . ."

His body froze while his mind worked frantically to pull him back to reality (yes, his mind believed the voice to be a trick played by his brain) but then, his conscience grabbed the reins and gently probed him into turning around. His mind fought to protect him – it fed him lies to keep him safe but his conscience always, always went for the truth.

He faced the mirror with forced calmness, noting that he looked paler than usual. This was extraordinary. He never lost control over his actions and he had always been sangfroid, as long as he could remember. It was something he had been born with. Yet, this voice. . .

Preoccupied with his thoughts, he almost completely missed the movement in the mirror. His mind alert, he stared into the mirror with steady eyes and pursed lips, patiently waiting for it to occur again, berating himself for being so unobservant before. With his brain functioning normally again, he reached for the key that hung inconspicuously around his neck and with a muttered incantation, changed it into a staff. Gripping it with both hands, he sensed his own magical aura, and felt appeased, feeling more at home with his magic.

He waited as long as his patience assisted him but the mirror only showed him what he knew: his tense posture, the slight rising of his chest as he inhaled, and the white knuckles that were wrapped around the dazzling golden staff. He relaxed. There was nothing else to see. For now.

"Mirror." He muttered, his eyes still raking his reflection for any kind of abnormality. The familiar but mournful face appeared in front of him, her hair in slight disarray and the tell-tale marks of tears on her cheeks. She mutely awaited his orders, after bowing in respect. "I would like you to take my form."

She obeyed without question, dipping her head and with a flash of light, another Eriol stood staring at him, his face uncharacteristically despondent. "Take my place," he instructed, stepping away from his former position in front of the mirror to make room for his faux-twin. "Please stay here as still as you possibly can and observe your reflection in the mirror. Alert me if anything anomalous takes place." She wouldn't return his parting smile.

Outside, Spinel and Ruby were deeply involved in a game of chess. Eriol watched as Ruby's elegant fingers curled around the bishop and persuaded him to challenge the mighty but defenceless king, "Check." The smirk was prominent.

Spinel snorted and gave his opponent a look that was clearly condescending and stirred the queen. "Check mate," he said with a finality Ruby could not question. His eyes widened for a fraction in surprise but then acknowledgement took precedence, "Eriol-sama." He dipped his head.

Offering both of them an easy smile ("But-but. . .I don't understand! Is that even a—oh Eriol-sama. . ." Ruby Moon looked suitably embarrassed), he crossed to the kitchen, "What would you like for dinner? It's my turn to cook." He called out cheerfully, donning the pink apron Ruby Moon had picked out for him in the store.

"How about. . .okonomiyaki!" Ruby Moon cried out eagerly, earning another typical irritable look from Spinel Sun, which she seemed to either ignore or miss.

"Okonomiyaki, it is." Eriol said, chuckling. The quotidian course of life certainly improved his mood.


The pitter-patter of the rain against the window panes made it impossible for him to sleep. He tossed around in the bed as quietly as possible so not to attract the attention of the nurse outside. The last thing he needed was a doctor rushing into the room, accompanied by a nurse (who narrated what she had 'seen') and demanding to take his pulse with a tearful Sakura in the background struggling hard not to make a scene. Syaoran had had enough of those.

He finally decided on a comfortable spot in the pillow and was just about to fall asleep again when the door swung open with immense force (he had to suppress the urge to yell, "What now?") and he found himself staring exasperatedly at a very furious Meiling and his tired-looking Mother. He wondered at his ignorance. He should have been expecting a visit but after meeting Sakura, he had completely forgotten. . .

Meiling opened her mouth to say something – something extremely reproachful, no doubt – when Yelan stepped in front of her, her brown eyes never straying away from his own. Meiling, Syaoran noticed, seemed to have come to a tacit agreement with his Mother and left the room quietly, uncharacteristically.

"Xiao Lang. . ." he was startled by the way she sounded. For the first time in his life, Syaoran saw his prudent Mother lose her facade. "Oh. . .I'm so glad you are out of danger. . ."

"Mother. . ." his tone was wondering. He was still stunned. Then, he came to his senses. "I owe you an explanation—"

She shook her head, promptly cutting him off, "Please. . .do not say anything. You don't have to explain or prove anything to me. . .I'm just happy you are all right." She took a seat next to him, her face still unnervingly gentle and caring. "Xiao Lang, there is something I have to tell you," she took a deep breath and took his hand in her own.

"I have always been a little harsh towards you even when you were just a child. You remind me so much of your Father that I just. . ." she shook her head, her eyes glistening. "I wanted your Father to be proud of you—I wanted him to know that I had raised you well. . .like he would have." Syaoran gazed at her, intent to hear her next words and wondering where this was going. "But what I overlooked was that he would have also wanted you to have had a happy childhood—"

"My childhood was happy one," He said firmly, cutting her off. "Mother, I don't blame you for anything that has happened."

"I know you do not. Listen to me, Xiao Lang." She looked so vulnerable that he remained quiet, letting her speak. "When I said a happy childhood, I meant a normal one. . .I did not treat you the way children are supposed to be treated. And I never treated you to an enjoyable day. . .I never took you to the park or the beach. . .I never took you anywhere you would have had a nice time." The tears were threatening to fall. "I always trained you too hard, because I wanted you to be perfect. . .because you were the son your Father never had the chance to see. He died in a car crash on his way to the hospital where I was having you. So I promised myself and him, that I would raise you to be a respectable man. . .but what I did not realise then was that perfection is not human and now I know, that all I want you to be is a good human. . .not perfect."

Syaoran was tongue-tied. He wanted to comfort her and tell her that he was happy, but that did not seemed to be what she was looking for. It was almost as if she was waiting for some sign from his Father, as though to tell her she had done the right thing. "Your Father was a cheerful man. . .he never took work too seriously and he was always looking forward to enjoying himself. He used to take your sisters everywhere he possibly could. . .and that is where I failed, Xiao Lang." The tears were flowing freely. "I brought you up to be serious and reserved – just like I am. You were brought up lacking everything a child should have. . .tenderness, care, attention and. . .fun." her voice cracked, as she buried her face in his hand and sobbed quietly. "I'm sorry. . .so, so sorry. . .Xiao Lang. . ."

Syaoran stared at her wrecked form, processing all that she had just told him. He still could not understand why she was telling him all of this although he had an inkling that the fire had something to do with it. But Yelan was a practical woman and did not waste time crying over nothing. In fact, this was the first time he had even seen her cry. He tugged at his hand caged in her own, "Mother. . .Mother. . ." he grew impatient and tugged harder, until finally she released it and looked up at him with tear-stained eyes. "I'm sorry. . .I'm being very sentimental here—"

"Stop apologising." He said firmly, fixing her with an intense gaze. She looked taken aback by his resolute demeanour. "You have to understand that there is nothing you should apologise for. I don't blame you for anything—yes, I know you know I don't," he said, when he saw her open her mouth. "And I'm sure that. . .that. . ." it was his turn to take a deep breath. "I'm certain that. . .Father, is pleased with how hard you have tried to be a good parent."

She was still looking at him like he was from a different planet and he was beginning to get uncomfortable with the exchange of such strong, emotional words. He looked away and waited impatiently for her to recover. She did, soon enough, and offered him a dazzling smile. "I'm so glad that you think so, Xiao Lang."

He nodded somewhat awkwardly, now acutely aware that his Mother was acting very unusual. The smile gradually disappeared but the tenderness in her eyes did not. She took his hand again and he braced himself for another outburst of sentiments. But she remained composed, "There is something I have to ask you. . .Xiao Lang, are you happy?"

The question threw him off-guard. He stared at her with a stunned expression on his face while simultaneously trying to phrase an answer. Was he happy? Was he satisfied with how his life was going? Well, that directly pointed towards Sakura. "I'm-I'm happier than I have been in months."

He knew from the look on her face that that did not answer her question entirely but she did not ask him to elaborate and he was extremely relieved. She stood up, her former demeanour of authority restored and she made for the door. Before she opened it however, she looked at him and said tenderly, "Xiao Lang, whatever happens, do not let go of love. . .it is the only thing that can truly make you happy." Then the door opened and she was gone.

He was left haunted by her last words.


Tomoyo stirred the cup of coffee while trying to stifle a yawn. The hotel room her Mother was staying in had a very uncomfortable bed. She had slept fitfully the whole of last night. She took a sip of the coffee and immediately restrained herself from choking. Hospital coffee was not a wise option. Sighing, she stared down at the murky liquid, vacillating between throwing the cup into the nearest bin and gulping it down. She needed the energy to pull her through another day.

As she turned around in her seat, she spotted Meiling sitting a few seats away from her, seemingly in deep thought. Tomoyo had known her since elementary school, when she had accompanied Syaoran to Japan and knew that the Chinese girl was boisterous and used to be amusingly possessive of her cousin. Meiling had not cared to make friends then but Sakura had tried anyway and through her, Tomoyo had made another acquaintance.

It was unnatural to see Meiling so quiet and unobtrusive. Perhaps she was more than a little shaken after hearing about Syaoran's encounter with the fire. Nevertheless, Tomoyo had imagined her to have caused quite a scene. She had rushed to Syaoran's room as soon as the nurse told her where he was being kept, followed closely by Yelan Li, but she had retreated very soon and had failed to show any kind of sentiment after that. Tomoyo had almost thought she had left the hospital. She wondered if she would be intruding if she were to make her presence known. . .but still, it was rude not to acknowledge someone once you have spotted them.

As if she had heard her musings, Meiling broke free from her thoughts and stared across the hallway to where Tomoyo was sitting. The latter immediately gave her a gentle smile, "How are you, Meiling-san?"

"Daidouji." Meiling nodded in acknowledgement. For an energetic girl, she had always kept her relationships with her fellow classmates distant. "I'm fine, thank you."

Her tone was grave. Tomoyo sensed she was distracted and stood up, "Li-kun will be fine, Meiling-san, don't worry." She smiled reassuringly and passed her to the cafeteria, hoping the coffee was the cafeteria's only drawback.

"Daidouji. . ." Behind her, Meiling called out hesitantly. She stopped in her tracks and turned around, waiting for her to continue. "Did. . .did Sakura—" Tomoyo allowed herself a small smile at the intimate use of Sakura's name. Only Sakura would be able to break through to anyone. "—mention anything ab-about. . ." Meiling let out a small curse. "about her and. . .Syaoran to you?"

Finally, she had some sort of an idea about what was running through Meiling's mind. "I'm afraid not," she shook her head apologetically. "Sakura-chan has been very busy and preoccupied since the. . .fire."

"She was living with you before the fire, wasn't she?" She said sharply and – Tomoyo thought – suspiciously. That was more like the Meiling she knew. "She didn't say anything then?"

"No, nothing." Tomoyo said politely. She wasn't about to divulge anything about how Sakura had been acting in the past months to anyone. Tomoyo didn't think publicising Sakura's misery was going to help anyone.

Meiling seemed to sense that she had touched a nerve and she lowered her eyes somewhat apologetically, "I'm-I'm not doubting you. . .or anything like that. It's just. . ." she trailed off, staring at her feet. Tomoyo knew the conversation was not over and took a seat next to the other girl. That seemed to have been the encouragement Meiling had been waiting for. "Syao-Syaoran has been acting very strange lately. . .I mean, I was surprised to see him in Hong Kong when I came to visit Auntie. . .I wasn't really expecting him to be there." Here she looked sheepish – almost as if she had only decided to visit her aunt because she knew he wouldn't be there. "And that too, alone! I was so surprised to see that Sakura wasn't visiting too. . ." Tomoyo nodded, empathising with her. It certainly seemed like she was recovering from her previous dejected mood.

"Do you. . .do you think they had some sort of an argument?" Meiling asked suddenly, her eyes wide.

"It is possible," Tomoyo said quietly, not wanting to lie to her.

"Oh. . .but that's terrible!" Meiling spoke almost as if to herself. "Poor Syaoran. . ."

"Well whatever has happened between them, they seemed to have mutually put it aside now that there are more pressing matters to deal with. . .such as Li-kun's health," Tomoyo patted the other girl's shoulder. "There is nothing to worry about, Meiling-san. . .at least for now,"

"I'm not worried," The Chinese girl mumbled somewhat defensively but Tomoyo couldn't help but think that perhaps she was telling the truth. "I'm just. . ." she gave Tomoyo a side-long glance and shook her head.

It was her turn to eye her thoughtfully. Then, comprehension dawned inside of her. But Tomoyo had mastered the art of keeping her feelings hidden, which was not quite a feat when you have Sakura for a friend and she squeezed Meiling's hand and said in a gentle voice, "Meiling-san, it's OK to feel a little confused right now. . .we are all baffled – what with the fire and everything. . .it's been hard on all of us. . .so don't be too hard on yourself, OK?"

Meiling returned the squeeze and nodded, her crimson eyes brighter than before and a small smile lightening her features. "Thank you, Daidouji."

"Please call me Tomoyo," She smiled. "We are a little closer now, aren't we? And Meiling-san knows, right? That if she's feeling a little bad, she can always talk to me?"

The bright eyes looked surprised, "That's. . .that's very nice of you."

"It's the least I can do." Tomoyo stood up; she really needed breakfast. "I'm always there for you, Meiling-san, if you need anything."

She smiled politely again before turning away but the Chinese girl wasn't looking at her. It looked like she had gone back to her previous mood. Trying not to dwell on this, Tomoyo took a few steps towards the cafeteria, when—

"I'm still in love with Syaoran."


"Kaho-chan. . .here. You look a little tired." Kaho stared at the proffered cup of hot chocolate and then stared up at the face looking down at her worriedly. Kaho smiled. Leave it to Sakura to always think of others.

"Thank you, Sakura." The warm fluid did help to relieve some of the stress she was feeling. Next to her, Sakura took a seat and watched her with a small smile. "It's unusual to see Kaho-chan worried."

Kaho laughed away the comment and took another sip of the steaming hot chocolate, "The fire really has tired us all out. Speaking of which. . ." She raised her eyebrows at the younger girl. "it's a surprise to see you here. From the determined look on your face the last time I saw you, I assumed you had decided to stay in Li-san's room forever."

Sakura blushed. "Xiao Lang threatened to throw me out himself when I refused to have breakfast." She looked at her shoes guiltily.

"I can see what he means. Sakura-chan has been tiring herself out ever since Li-san was admitted. You should take care of yourself too." Kaho said gently as she watched a sad look pass through Sakura's face.

"I just hate leaving him alone for even a minute, Kaho-chan." She said in a tiny voice. "If it weren't for me, he wouldn't be here. . .it's only fair that I take proper care of him."

"Sakura shouldn't think such things. Don't blame yourself for what has happened. Everything happens for a reason, Sakura-chan." She smiled encouragingly. "There is no question of what's fair and what isn't."

"I-I suppose. . .Oh Kaho-chan. . .things have been so horrible between us!" Sakura buried her face in her hands at memory of what had happened a few months ago. Kaho watched her impassively as she waited for her to recover. "I couldn't eat or sleep for days just thinking about it! And Tomoyo. . .Oh Kami-sama. . .I have been so unfair to Tomoyo-chan. . .I've kept her in the dark about everything that's happened despite the fact that she was so willing to help me. . .I know how bad she must have felt to have to watch me so quiet and dull every day. . ."

"Sakura-chan. . ." Kaho sighed. She turned to Sakura as she looked up with grieving eyes. "Sometimes, in life, it is difficult to open up to anyone about how you're feeling. . .the pain might be too deep or it might be too soon for you to be able to step up and talk about your feelings. I'm certain that Tomoyo understood that. Why else would she be so patient? She's willing to wait for you to tell her what's wrong. . .she doesn't want to force you to express yourself. That's what friends are for. . .for you to be able talk to them when you're ready." She stroked her light brown hair. "When you know you're ready, Sakura, tell Tomoyo what you're feeling. I'm sure she'll be able to help you."

"You don't think that-that Tomoyo-chan is. . .mad at me?" Sakura whispered doubtfully.

Kaho shook her head gently, "Of course not. She's worried about you, Sakura, that's all. She's not angry at you. I'm sure she's willing to wait."

"Kaho-chan. . ." Sakura began again, rubbing her forehead and not quite meeting her eyes. ". . .about Xiao Lang and me. . .I think we're—that we're. . ." Her eyes filled with tears and she sobbed. Kaho pulled her towards her and hugged her, stroking her hair understandingly.

"Love and life are different, Sakura. . ." she said soothingly. "It is up to each one of us to learn to love and live our life to the fullest at the same time. . .love is beautiful but life. . ." she lifted Sakura's chin and gazed into her green eyes. ". . .is reality."

"Life is so hurtful. . .I never thought I would be hurting the people I care about." The tears would not stop. Kaho looked down at her thoughtfully and then offered her a smile. "Pain is a part of life, Sakura-chan. We all go through it. Pain is experience in its most profound form. Life cannot go on without it and love without pain does not exist."

Sakura wiped her eyes with her wrists. She returned Kaho's smile. "Thank you, Kaho-chan. I feel much better now." She gave the older woman a quick, grateful hug and stood up apologetically, "I should get back to Xiao Lang. . ."

"Of course." Kaho smiled. She watched the girl's retreating back, lost in thought. 'So much for all that advice. . .where do I stand when it comes to love?' A picture of Eriol's grave face flashed in her mind's eye. Her hands tightened around the now-empty cup of hot chocolate.

"Kaho. . .perhaps it is time we parted ways," His face was grave but open. He was looking straight at her and she could tell he meant what he said. She clutched the purse on her lap. "I realised that it is not fair to you if I kept you from pursuing what you want to. . ."

She looked up at this, confusion clouding her mind but her face was impassive as always. Pursuing what she wanted? "Could you perhaps. . .be more specific?"

He turned towards her sharply and she thought she saw annoyance flash across his eyes. Kaho sensed something was wrong. . .Eriol was being uncharacteristic. He rarely got irritated and it was even rarer for him to show the irritation. This was the first time she had seen him so irked. Lowering her gaze once more, she composed herself, aware that he was not looking at her. When she was certain she looked normal, she looked up at him and smiled, "I understand, Eriol."

Next it was relief that consumed his lovely blue eyes. He smiled hugely, "I knew you would, Kaho." He looked at his watch and then said, "There is something I have to attend to immediately. . .I will be back in three hours' time. If you could. . ." He looked at her meaningfully. She nodded and he left, satisfied.

Two hours later, her belongings were all neatly packed and she surveyed the house thoughtfully. Somehow she had not fancied the idea of employing magic to do the packing. She wanted to do it on her own so that it would be prove to be a distraction.

When Eriol staggered into the house an hour later, there was a note from Kaho thanking him for everything. He crumpled to the floor, for the first time unsure of what he had done.


Yes, it's a short chapter and I'm fairly certain that this is how long my chapters are going to be. Is it too much to ask for reviews though? After what I've done? But please do review if you can and if you have any comments. Thank you for reading.

Notes on some terms:

Okonomiyaki: Okonomiyaki is a sort of Japanese style pancake filled with various kinds of meat and vegetables.