ANOTHER year to update. I can not believe myself! I'm so sorry! I will try to be more regular but I've been so busy with school lately. . .well, that's no excuse. Again, I'm deeply sorry. Thanks to all those who reviewed my story last time! Here's chapter six.
Married?
by xArcherx
Chapter Six
Sonomi watched as Sakura adjusted yet another pillow in Syaoran's room. She sighed inaudibly and walked away from the door; it was not right to interfere in a couple's private moment although Sonomi desperately wished to find out and understand what was going on. She did not take well to being kept in the dark and Sakura's unhappiness was rather obvious.
But deep down, she knew there was nothing she could do to help alleviate the situation, whatever it was. Sakura and Syaoran were facing problems in their marriage—this, in itself, was not startling because all married couples bicker. But the fact that the problem was huge enough for them to take time apart from each other and that too, just months after their wedding, seemed like something to worry about obsessively.
Sonomi's shoulders stiffened the way they always did whenever he was near. She hated him, she still held that belief firmly, and the hatred was intense enough for her body to sense his presence and react accordingly.
If Fujitaka noticed the change in Sonomi's demeanour, he did not show it. Instead he smiled pleasantly and took a seat beside her. "Sonomi-san seems worn out."
"It'd be strange not to be." She replied brusquely. "The situation calls for it."
The smile dimmed and she heard him sigh uncharacteristically. "But it is of no use, is it, to sit here in regret? But still the feeling lingers and I can't entirely will it away. . ." Fujitaka massaged his temples while Sonomi watched him discreetly. "This a difficult time. Especially for Sakura-chan."
She grunted in response, fighting the urge to ask him if he had any idea what was going on with his daughter's life. He seemed to understand her state of mind, for he said quietly, "I fervently hope Sakura-chan finds the solution to her problem."
"She is a child." Sonomi snapped. "You can't expect her to figure this out on her own."
His reply was late in coming. "Sonomi-san fails to remember that experience is truly the best teacher."
She turned to him fully, her face contorted in rage, "So you're going to sit and watch what happens without helping her? She needs to be guided for god's sake! What kind of a person—"
"But tell me Sonomi-san," he cut her off gently, looking straight into her eyes. "will my interfering change anything at all? If anything, I have a feeling it would only make it worse."
She was annoyed at being cut off but she sensed the truth in his words. The helplessness that she had felt earlier returned. "She is but a child," she repeated obstinately.
"I trust Sakura-chan." He said simply. "She not only has Nadeshiko's innocence but she also her honesty. And I believe that she would not lie where it concerns her feelings."
'For Syaoran.' Sonomi added mentally. She stood up abruptly, the mention of her cousin's name-that too, from him-proving to be too much for her. She cast him a sidelong glance and then walked away stubbornly but deep inside she knew he had won. And he was aware of it.
"Just this once Fujitaka," she murmured to herself. "Just this once, I'll let you win."
And as Sonomi rounded the corner and headed to the hospital's entrance-she really did need to get back to the hotel and take a nap-she stilled. There was no doubting the hair colour or the pale face.
Eriol Hiiragizawa swept past her without a glance.
"I'm still in love with Syaoran."
For a second, Tomoyo could only stare at the girl.
Her head bent, her hands intertwined and her form withdrawn, Meiling looked uncharacteristically vulnerable. Tomoyo's heart went out to the girl and despite other worries – Did Syaoran know? Has she told him already? Does she have anything to do with their separation? – she embraced her wordlessly.
That seemed like enough invitation for Meiling, who stiffening momentarily at the contact, threw her arms around Tomoyo and promptly began to cry. Tomoyo made soothing noises and patted her back while distantly wondering how she always found herself in this position.
Tomoyo had not been blind to Meiling's feelings. Even when they had been in elementary school, the Chinese girl had been possessive about her cousin, calling herself his 'fiancée' and casting daggers at any girl who dared to acquaint herself with Syaoran. Meiling's aggressive personality combined with Syaoran's own grumpy countenance had been enough to scare away any girl.
In middle school, Syaoran's feelings for Sakura had changed drastically – from one-sided hatred, it went to a silly crush – and Tomoyo had noted the change with amusement. He would blush every time Sakura was near or whenever she threw her arms around him in delight. He smiled more often but remained as shy as ever.
Meiling, at that time, had disappeared to Hong Kong and when she had returned to Japan, to pay a short visit, she had not been oblivious to Syaoran's feelings. Tomoyo distinctly remembered finding a tearful Meiling at her doorstep one evening and inviting her inside understandingly. Being perceptive even at the age of thirteen, she had told Meiling that she would always be there to comfort the girl if need be, knowing full well that Meiling would confront Syaoran about his feelings for Sakura.
She had not been mistaken. Meiling had spent the night at her house.
In high school, everyone could see Syaoran was in love with Sakura – everyone except Sakura who remained blissfully ignorant of her best friend's growing feelings. Meiling had done the rest of her schooling in Hong Kong, preferring to stay away from her cousin in order to master her own feelings.
Their wedding had taken place right after high school graduation. Meiling did not attend the ceremony.
Tomoyo chided herself for not expecting this. Meiling's absence at the wedding had certainly told her that the girl still had not moved on from Syaoran but temporarily sympathising her, she had completely forgotten about the issue – especially when Syaoran and Sakura's separation had loomed over with a more pressing urgency.
"I'd always known. . ." She presently began, her head now cradled in Tomoyo's lap. "He-he had never returned my feelings. But I learnt to live with that be-because he didn't fall for anyone else either. . ." Here the tears started afresh. "And as long as there was no one else in the picture, I could pretend he was mine and always would be."
Tomoyo stroked her dark hair gently, listening intently and letting her go on uninterrupted. "Then everything changed." Hiccups. One. Two. "He started to fall in love with Sakura. . .the very girl he had sworn he could not stand and—and although I wanted to hate her very much for what's happened. . ." Another hiccup. "Although she is the reason he is in pain, I can't hate her." Her words were a mere whisper. "I can't hate Sakura. Do you know why?" She lifted her head and looked up at Tomoyo who stopped stroking her hair and waited. "Because she is the sweetest, kindest person I know. It's impossible for me to hate her even though I want to so much."
Her head went back to Tomoyo's lap. "Even in middle school, when I first found out about Syaoran's crush, I held her in contempt for not seeing what was right in front of her. But I didn't hate her because none of this is her fault." Tomoyo was touched by her practicality.
"Meiling-chan is very strong to have handled this on her own for so long."
She let out a bitter laugh. "What good did it do to be strong? I'm still where I was ten years ago, still hoping that he'd see me the way I see him even though he's married." She shuddered in disgust. "He's married but I still want him!"
"Meiling-chan. . ." Tomoyo sighed. "You're being too hard on yourself. You can't help how you feel."
"But tell me, Tomoyo, tell me what kind of a person would stick to the same man for ten years and watch him fall in love with another girl, watch him laugh and smile in her company, watch him watch her like she was his everything?" Tomoyo remained silent. "Watch him even in her dreams, see him even when he wasn't with her and yearn for him so desperately?"
"But you never, ever tried to take him away from Sakura. You never stooped that low, Meiling-chan, and that makes you a good person."
She was silent. Then, "He was happy. With her, he was happy and no matter how much I wanted to be in her place, I could not see him unhappy. Seeing him unhappy with me is ten times worse than watching him with her. . .because then, I would truly see how much he doesn't want me." She took a deep breath. "It's not because I'm a good person that I didn't steal him away, Tomoyo. It's because I was too afraid to see the unhappiness in his eyes if I did."
It was Tomoyo's turn to remain silent. "When I came to visit Auntie in Hong Kong, I was shocked to see Syaoran there." Meiling began again quietly. The tears had stopped. "Auntie had not informed me of his presence and when I saw that he was there without Sakura, I was confused." Tomoyo listened much more intently now. "I asked Auntie about it but she only gave me a vague reply and I took it as my cue to drop the subject. Auntie was very intent on making me. . .reacquaint myself with Syaoran. I did not like the way she ordered me to inform him when dinner was ready or when she needed to speak with him. That was Wei's business, not mine. But I never refused. Do you know why?" The tears were threatening to fall again. "Because a part of me-a huge part of me- still wanted to see him and be in his presence. Sakura's absence worked in my favour because I could continue watching him without being caught. Then again, Sakura's as blind as a bat when it comes to these things." Here, Meiling snorted but Tomoyo was aware of the pain in her eyes.
"Meiling-chan knew then." Tomoyo said quietly. "That there was something wrong."
"Of course I did." Now that Meiling had admitted the truth to someone else, she was determined to reveal everything. "I could see that Syaoran was in pain. It was so obvious. . .only one person could hurt him like that." Her voice came down to a whisper. "What's even worse is that while I was genuinely concerned about Syaoran, there was also a part of me that thrilled at the thought of Syaoran and Sakura breaking up." The tears started to fall. "Am I still a good person? Am I still human?"
"Yes." Tomoyo said firmly. "Meiling-chan, putting yourself down won't change anything. I admire you for being able to face your feelings and admit to them. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to admit to yourself that you still love Li-kun. . .but to admit it to someone else. . ." Tomoyo shook her head. "That must be a million times more difficult. Just the fact that you can be so honest with yourself shows that you're a good person, Meiling-chan."
The Chinese girl smiled through her tears and looked away, "I don't know what I should do. . .how do I forget Syaoran?"
Tomoyo could only sit there wordlessly.
Kaho was on the verge of exiting the hospital when she heard her name being called and heavy footfalls behind her. Sonomi was breathless by the time she caught up with her colleague and beckoned her inside one of the hospital rooms, not trusting herself to speak.
"He's here." Sonomi whispered the moment Kaho was inside, who, dryly noting the similarity of the situation, waited for Sonomi to elaborate. "That man that I was talking to you about; he's here, in the hospital." She looked strangely distressed as she looked at Kaho helplessly. "What do we do?"
Kaho feigned confusion and ignorance. "Sonomi, I have not slightest idea as to why this man is of consequence at all."
"His name is Eriol Hiiragizawa." She replied, sidestepping the underlying question - what did Sonomi have to do with said man? - in Kaho's words. "He is half-British, half-Japanese; lived the first ten years of his life in London and finished the rest of his schooling in Japan, making short trips to London now and then."
"Sonomi. . ." Kaho began knowingly. "I didn't need to know any of that."
The older woman stared at her pensively for a moment and then sighed, resigned. "He was present at Syaoran and Sakura's wedding."
He had been; Kaho had avoided him the entire wedding. It had not been difficult; he had left pretty early, despite Sakura's protests. She now pretended to be less confused when she spoke, "I see. Now I understand why he'd looked slightly familiar when you showed me his picture. But what of it, Sonomi?"
"Sakura seemed to know him well. . ." Sonomi replied, with a sidelong glance. "Syaoran, I observed, seemed to tolerate him for Sakura's sake." Kaho could see where this was going but she nevertheless waited for Sonomi to confirm her suspicion. "Do you think, perhaps. . .his acquaintance with Sakura has anything to do with-with the problems in their marriage?"
The idea, of course, was preposterous. But Kaho, being careful not to sound too sure of herself while simultaneously ridding Sonomi of the thought, only said, "Do you really believe that Sakura-chan is the kind of person to betray the people she loves?"
Sonomi looked embarrassed, "Well, no, not really, but-"
"Then let go of the thought, Sonomi."
Another sigh. "I'm sorry, you're right. Sakura isn't the kind of person to cheat on her husband. I just. . .wish I knew what is going on."
"It's on all of our minds." Kaho said empathetically. "We'll just have to wait and see where it takes us."
And although Sonomi nodded understandingly and looked a lot more relieved, Kaho couldn't help thinking that this was not her only reason for pursuing Eriol. When Sonomi opened her mouth again, she was proved right.
Syaoran shifted uncomfortably in his bed. The burns hurt him more than he let on. Recently, they'd begun to itch and he had been strongly advised against scratching his wounds, so he was pretty much in hell.
"Not that I was having the time of my life before this shit." He muttered to himself and sighed. He was exhausted; very exhausted. Putting up a tough facade in front of Sakura had not been easy. He'd had to act like nothing hurt; like it was no big deal because if he didn't, he was certain she would start crying and go on and on about how it was all her fault.
And if Syaoran was being completely honest with himself, he was tired of it. He was starting to wish she'd leave him alone more often because – and he was vexed at himself for feeling this way – she was starting to get. . .annoying.
The revelation startled Syaoran. 'No. Wait. I did not just think that.' He frowned. 'Where did it come from? I didn't mean annoying; I meant that it was cute that she was so worried. Yeah. Cute.'
Another sigh escaped him. A few days ago, he had been so sure of what he felt. Now, he did not understand anything that he was feeling. What was wrong with him? How could a few days change the way he felt? If that's all it took for a heart to change, why had he been nursing a broken heart for two full months? He tried to clear his head. It was getting too confusing. He should just sleep it off.
He had been trying to accomplish that very feat when a deep, cheery voice said, "Looks like you're in a lot more pain that you'd like to admit, Syaoran-kun."
It would be an understatement to say that he was startled out of his wits. Eriol Hiiragizawa had that effect on him. Always catching him unawares; always having impeccable timing; always so suspicious. Syaoran didn't bother to be polite, "I'm trying to sleep, Hiiragizawa."
"I'm glad to see that you're all right." Eriol smiled sincerely but Syaoran thought he detected a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"Now that you've seen me, lea—"
"How is Sakura-chan?"
Syaoran bristled at the endearment. He had never been comfortable with Eriol and Sakura's friendship, always having had a sneaking suspicion that the former has feelings for Sakura. The insecurity had somewhat dwindled when the wedding had taken place but he still had an uneasy feeling about the bespectacled man. "She's fine." He breathed in deeply. "Leave, Hiiragizawa." And with that, Syaoran closed his eyes.
But Eriol took that as an invitation to sit down in one of the chairs next to the bed. He laced his fingers together and leaned forward, his posture, business-like. The smile faded. "I came here to talk about Sakura-chan."
The words had the intended effect. His eyes snapped open and he looked at the Eriol menacingly, "What about her?"
In any other situation, Eriol would have smiled away the rudeness with a teasing remark. But he looked straight into Syaoran's eyes with a graveness that unsettled him more than usual. The voice dropped. "It's her powers, Syaoran."
He could not help the confusion that clouded his face. Or the annoyance. He wished he would get on with the problem already. "Well, what about them?"
"I can't keep the Cards under my control for long. I'm not their rightful Master."
Eriol watched Syaoran stare at him uncomprehendingly. He nodded knowingly, "I thought so." He scrutinized Syaoran's face. "You had no idea, did you? You really did not notice?"
"No idea about what?" Syaoran almost growled. "What the hell are you talking about? What about the Cards? I swear, Hiiragizawa, if this is some sort of stupid jo—"
"The Cards," Eriol interrupted, "are not under Sakura's control. I am their current owner."
A long pause. Then, "What shit is this?" Syaoran was incredulous. "Sakura is their Mistress. They're called Sakura Cards for a reason."
"I am well aware of the reason. However, the Cards came under my control. . ." Eriol studied Syaoran's face as he spoke the next words. ". . .a little over two months ago."
"Two months—" Syaoran was abruptly cut off as realisation dawned upon him. Two months ago. It had been two months ago that they had separated. He looked up at Eriol dazedly and for once forgot to be rude, "What exactly happened?"
Eriol took a deep breath and chose his words carefully, "I am not entirely sure. I came home one evening to find the Sakura Cards, bound in their Book, at my doorstep. Literally." He adjusted his glasses. "I understood that something had gone wrong but I took them under my control immediately. I summoned them to see if they had any piece of information to provide. But all they could do was look at me in distress." He sighed, recollecting the look on their faces. Syaoran listened in disbelief. How could he have not known this? "I met up with Sakura-chan one day for lunch, to understand more about the situation."
"What did she say? When was this?" Syaoran's tone was urgent.
"This was a couple weeks after the transfer. Sakura-chan was. . .dazed." Eriol struggled to find the right word to describe her. "She was hardly like her usual self. I asked her, as gently as I could, if anything was bothering her. She had no answer." Here, he looked at Syaoran piercingly but the latter looked away. "I informed her of the situation. She seemed. . .surprised. She had not realised that her powers were no longer with her." He leaned back in his chair, his voice, a mere murmur. "And then, she had a request; she wanted me to take care of the Cards for a while. I readily agreed."
Syaoran stared at his hands. "I didn't know. . .I never noticed."
"Syaoran." Eriol's voice was gentle. "I understand there's been some sort of a misund—"
"We're just taking some time apart." Syaoran cut in sharply. There was no misunderstanding. One thing Sakura couldn't do was lie about her feelings.
Another piercing stare. But this time Syaoran looked right back at him, his stare defiant. Eriol gave in, "I see."
"So what's the deal now? Are you giving back the Cards to her?"
"That's precisely what I wanted to tell you: I can't keep the Cards much longer. My hold on them is weakening. Soon, they'd slip out of my control and disappear completely."
Syaoran looked at him in alarm, "Give them back to Sakura then!"
Eriol looked at him dryly and Syaoran was left contemplating the idiocy of his suggestion. "I want to," Eriol explained, with exaggerated patience. "But Sakura-chan seems incapable of shouldering the responsibility at present. And I think, Syaoran, that you know why."
When he refused to respond, Eriol stood up, "I'd rather Sakura-chan didn't know about our little chat. It would only make things worse. " He stared out the window as the vehicles zoomed past, "She isn't happy. I can see it in her eyes."
He looked back at Syaoran as if to say, 'Do something, Syaoran, before it's too late.'
'What?' Syaoran wanted to yell in frustration. 'What do you want me to do? I'm giving her what she wants!'
But Sakura chose that precise moment to enter the room. Syaoran watched as she stopped short in surprise. He watched her eyes turn brighter as a genuine smile lit up her face, "Eriol-kun!"
"It's been a while, eh, Sakura-chan?" Eriol smiled at her pleasantly as they hugged each other affectionately.
"Yes. It's been so long since I saw you!" Syaoran felt the old resentment rise but, for once, he paid no heed to it. Instead, he observed Sakura as she pulled away from the embrace and giggled. When was the last time he had heard her giggle like that? Then her eyes landed on him and Syaoran watched, as the brightness faded away, and her lips turned down. There was something inherently wrong in the way she looked at him. It was tinged with sadness. How could he have not noticed the difference? And when she spoke, her voice was gentle and low, quite unlike the chirpy one he'd just heard, "How are you today, Xiao Lang?"
Syaoran was in no state to answer her and Eriol deftly stepped in, smiling good-naturedly and distracting her with a teasing comment about him while he played over and over again the way she said his name; like she was afraid to hurt it; tentative and scared.
When had she become like this?
The Sakura he had known was full of life. Always cheerful, never losing hope and determined to give her best to everything. The woman standing before him was completely different. She looked exhausted and dejected; almost lifeless. He detected, with no small amount of surprise, dark circles under her eyes. Her skin was pasty, her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and her eyes—her eyes—
They were red.
Syaoran sucked in a breath in shock. What had happened to her? What had happened to him? He had been so damned self-absorbed that he had completely missed out on the change. What sort of messed up husband—no, best friend, he reminded himself – was he? How could have Sakura turned into this?
His shock was so intense that even Eriol's powers of distraction were unable to keep Sakura engaged. She presently looked at him worriedly, "Xiao Lang, is something wrong?"
Eriol made his exit then, but not before shooting Syaoran a knowing look. When Sakura continued to look at him in concern, he held out his hand, "Come here."
She did so, albeit in bewilderment, and took his hand in hers. He squeezed it gently and looked at her with a tender expression on his face. Only minutes ago, he had thought of her as annoying. He shook his head. He was ashamed of himself for thinking of her that way. How dare he, when he was the reason that she looked at him so?
"Xiao Lang?" she prompted.
He forced a smile. "I'm fine, Sakura. I'm fine."
Eriol was right. He had to do something. Soon.
A short chapter, right? I know. I'm working on it. Please do review! Thank you for reading!
