Cas made his way out of the cozy little room to find Dean. He could walk, but his head was killing him, he felt like he was being ripped in half.
A woman's voice in the back of his head kept telling him to leave, and that he wasn't safe. Maybe it was a conscience, Cas frowned, he didn't like the idea that he was growing a conscience, it would just get in the way.
He heard the low voices of Dean and Sam talking in the next room. He followed the voices, trying to piece together what was going on.
When he entered the room, it looked like a sort of dining area, the Winchesters fell silent. Sam found his voice first. "Cas, you're awake! Please, come here and sit."
Sam gestured to a chair across from him. Cas walked stiffly to the table and sat down. "What is this place? It doesn't appear to be a seedy motel."
"This is our…headquarters, of sorts." Sam answered with a shrug. Cas looked over at Dean, wondering why he wasn't saying anything.
His pained expression spoke volumes, he didn't trust Cas. This saddened, but did not surprise the angel.
"Dean, I…" Cas stopped, his first instinct was to tell Dean that it was okay that he didn't trust Cas, because at the moment, Cas didn't even trust Cas. He just didn't know how to say that. "I need your help. Friends help friends…right?"
Dean sighed and wiped his face, one of his tells. A tell that was telling Cas that Dean was tired and stressed. "You're not working with Crowley again, are you? Not going to go all…God on us right?" Cas shook his head, at least he didn't think he was.
Dean nodded, satisfied. "So tell me, where have you been for the past few months, Cas? After we rescued Alfie…you disappeared again."
Cas frowned, months? No, that wasn't right. "Dean, what do you mean? The…incident with Samandriel was only a few days ago. You two sped out of there so quickly, it alarmed me. I only popped up to heaven to bring Samandriel's body to them, and then I came right back."
The brothers looked at each other, concern clouding their features. "Cas…Dean was right, it's been months. After you killed Samandriel and your eye started bleeding, we got really worried, where have you been?"
The amount of time he'd been gone was one thing, time moves differently in heaven sometimes, but Sam had crossed a line. "Kill Samandriel? I didn't kill him. Samandriel killed himself. Just because I have killed my brothers in the past does not mean that I would do it just because. Samandriel was broken, but he was…good. I wouldn't kill him." Cas shook his head sadly. "Unfortunately Crowley pushed too hard, and Samandriel killed himself."
Sam shook his head, "No, Cas, I'm sorry, but that's not what you told us. You said that Samandriel attacked you and you had to kill him."
"They're lying to you Castiel. They're trying to make you the bad guy. They don't trust you. Now find out what they know. Do as I tell you."
"Cas? Cas are you even listening to us? What is going on with you, man?" Dean was trying really well to hide it, but Cas knew better. Dean was freaking out inside, and it all seemed to be Cas's fault.
"Dean…Sam…I… There's something wrong, and I need you to fix it." Cas watched with slight relief how quickly those words affected the boys. Proposing that they fix a problem gave them a purpose, something to focus on, their whole demeanor changed immediately.
"What is the problem? What exactly is going on here, Cas?"
"I really don't know. Samandriel's…death…is the last thing I remember. And since then I've had…aches. Aches that angels don't normally have."
Dean snorted, of course, using innuendo as a coping mechanism. Cas stifled a smile, Dean was regaining the attitude that Cas loved. The one he relied on. But this was serious; Cas had no time for references he didn't quite understand.
"Angels don't get headaches, Dean. And I've had a constant one for…a few months, I guess."
"What does that mean, Cas/?"
The angel shook his head. "I don't know…But I think it has something to do with Samandriel…Please tell me what…what happened."
As the boys recounted that night, Cas slowly filled with a mixture of dread and confusion. "Wait. Samandriel…he…I remember. He told me something before…" Cas shook his head. "Before I killed him."
"Castiel, stop talking. You are not doing as I say. Go sit in that chair and we will fix this insubordination."
Cas stared at Naomi, wide-eyed. "You…you're the one causing the pain. Causing the confusion. You're stealing my memories. You…you made me kill Samandriel. What else have I done for you, Naomi?"
"Castiel, sit down. Now." Cas shook his head, and backed away.
His eyes were closed. Someone was shaking him and calling his name. It wasn't Naomi…unless Naomi had turned into a man…Cas opened his eyes. e He was on the floor, with the Winchesters leaning over him.
"Cas, what the hell, man? It looked like you were having a seizure. What happened to you?"
"Naomi happened."
