To Watch Trees Smoulder and Burn
You sigh as you hang up the phone to her telling her you're working late. You hate yourself for what you're doing because despite the resentment and the anger you feel for her you 'do' lover her. She is your True Love, the only one that's ever made you think your heart will beat out of your chest.
That hardly means a thing though when you think back to what she's done, what she's cost you. You know the truth, you know she's the evil queen and you've come to accept that but there are times when that knowledge threatens to tear you apart. Its how this whole sordid thing started; you wanting to forget what you knew and you wanting to hurt her.
Standing you grab your jacket and head out of the station. You head for the only bar in town, Kings Corner, the one place you know your secret will be safe. What happens in Kings usually stays in Kings and for that you're most grateful. You don't even want to imagine what would happen if words of your indiscretions were to get back to Regina but you know it'd be bad.
There are a multitude of things you can imagine happening, the least of which is Regina burying you under her beloved apple tree. Thinking about it though, you realise her apple tree is too precious and she'd more than likely just dump your body in the middle of the woods where no one could find it.
You shake your head as you signal for a drink, trying to dispel the suddenly morbid thoughts you seem to be having. It's something you know you've picked up from Regina, her own thoughts and humour anything but light hearted and nice. She's managed to change you and not in ways you're entirely happy with.
You down your drink quickly wincing as it burns your throat on the way down. You signal for another and sip at it slowly as you look around the bar. There are not many people in the bar but then you have to remind yourself, it is the middle of the week. It takes you a second to see her but eventually you notice the redhead at the end of the bar.
Downing your drink you stand from the bar and make your way towards her. You picked her tonight because she is so physically different to Regina and you want to prove you don't have a type. You sit beside her for a while and are mildly surprised when she is receptive of your advances. You flirt and drink for another half an hour before suggesting not so subtlety that you both get of here.
She pauses for a moment asking, "Aren't you the Mayor's girlfriend?"
"So?" You say, gently rubbing her hand, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her," you tell her and she thinks it over for a second before accepting your answer.
You lead her discreetly out of the bar and push her against the back of the bar, pressing her into the rough brick of the building. You kiss her roughly, hands travelling her curves and trying desperately not to compare her to Regina. She kisses back and you can taste the rum on her tongue and it intoxicates you how different she tastes to Regina and makes you press her harder against the wall. Her hand moves down your body towards your jeans and before you know it you're fucking each other hard, not caring that anyone could come out and see you.
The redhead climaxes with a stifled moan and you follow not long after. The two of you still for a moment, catching your breath before you pull away from her, wiping your sticky fingers on her thighs that are concealed just under her short dress. She licks her own fingers dry watching you saucily as she does and you can't help but smirk at her before pecking her on the lips lightly and walking out of the alleyway.
You head for your car and as the euphoria of your orgasm dissipates the guilt spreads through you with a burning viciousness. You slump into the driver's seat as tears well in your eyes and your hands clench into fists. You've done it again, you've cheated on Regina once more and it kills you that you do it because you do love her, more than you've ever loved anyone.
Yet you have this destructive need to hurt her at the same time and you don't know how to deal with it. She's the Evil Queen, she cursed you're family to be forever apart and yet you love her so deeply it's frightening. You haven't forgiven her exactly but she's told you everything and you think you'd probably do the exact same thing now if Regina was taken from you like Daniel was taken from her.
Your heart aches and tears when you think of Daniel, Regina's long lost beloved, the man who'd always have Regina's heart. They were true loves and that alone makes you want to hurt Regina because while you love her with every fibre of your being she'll never love you back the way you want her to. You hit at the steering wheel a few times; anger, frustration and guilt building up in you making you want to tear something apart.
A few deep breaths later and you start the engine and start on your way home. All you can think about is the right mess you've made of your life and wonder how you can fix it. Running seems like a good idea at this moment but you know you couldn't live without Henry or Regina now. They've become so entrenched in your life it's hard to imagine anything else anymore and that thought alone makes you even angrier.
You used to be so independent, never relying on anyone and now, you're whole life revolves around two people, one you hate almost as much as you love. You arrive at the Mayor's house, your house faster than you expected so you sit in your car for a few moments, trying to compose yourself. When you finally feel like you are calm again, like you aren't going to explode with an excess of emotions you get out of the car and silently make your way in to the house.
You check on Henry first, something that's become quite a routine and then head for your shared bedroom with Regina. You open the door and stop for a moment, just looking as Regina sleeps peacefully on her back, hand curled around the simple gold band that hangs from her neck from a chain. Even in sleep it's important to her and your heart squeezes painfully at the sight before you shake it off and move further into the room, stripping off your clothes. A shower seems like a good idea but you're ridiculously tired at the moment so instead you quickly change into your pyjamas and slip in to bed beside her.
You don't even think about the fact that you still smell of the redhead and liquor and to be honest, you couldn't care less at the moment. You lean across the bed and got to press a kiss to your girlfriend's cheek but even in sleep she's resistant to such affection and turns on her side, stopping you before your lips make contact. You sigh as you fall back onto your back, willing yourself to go to sleep before the tears in your eyes can fall.
AN: So this chapter is significantly longer than the last, so I hope you like it. Also, in case you didn't realise, this was from Emma's point of view.
Hope you enjoyed and please review! :) LT.
