A cloud of dust hovered in the room, turning the air into a look-alike layer of mist. In the background powerful whacks resounded, which drowned the insistent knocks at the front door. After rapping her knuckles on the surface of the rackety door for minutes, Lou dared to turn the knob and poked her head inside. "Teaspoon?"

The thumps stopped momentarily, and the marshal's gruff voice was heard. "Come on in, honey!"

Louise flapped her free hand as she walked inside when a cloud of dust welcomed her and made her cough. Her right hand balanced Ginnie secured against her grip while little Jed followed her with slow steps. Inside his rooms, Teaspoon held a carpet beater he repeatedly flog against the bare mattress of his double bed, which was causing all the dust particles to raise and fill the room. "Teaspoon, what's this? Spring cleaning?" Lou remarked in amusement.

"It was high time I gave this place a good ole scrubbin' and dustin'. I can't believe how much dirt can pile up if you tend to be on the careless side," he quipped, and after a pause, he added, "I'm surprised to see ya here."

"I've brought you some lunch," Lou said, placing the wicker basket dangling from her arm on a free chair. The little girl was getting restless and kept fidgeting in Lou's arms, which made the task of holding her twice as difficult. Louise finally released and placed her on the floor, and Ginnie instantly waddled away in her still inexperienced little legs to the other side of the room. "Jed, go and play with your sister. You're a big boy, and make sure she doesn't take a tumble, my love," Lou softly said, affectionately touching her son's nose.

"You shouldn't've bothered, Lou," Teaspoon said, which drew the woman's attention back to him. "But what surprises me is that you're already back on your feet," he added, looking Louise up and down. The disease in whose claws she had recently been had left her extremely thin and gaunt. Her cheeks that had filled after all her pregnancies were hollowed and pale; there were still rings under her eyes, and the dress she was wearing hung too loose on her almost emaciated body.

Lou scowled, unhappy to hear the words that everybody had repeatedly told her today after she had left the prison her own home had become in the last weeks. "I'm fine, Teaspoon, and Dr. Maxwell said I could go back to my usual routines."

"But you shouldn't overdo yourself, honey. I'm sure Kid…"

"Kid nothing!" Lou exclaimed, obviously irritated. "He's aware we have a family… four children who need us, both of us! And they're our priority, so he knows better than say a word."

Lou's reaction obviously revealed that she and Kid had already had a disagreement that morning. The years hadn't changed the couple too much in that sense. Kid still fussed over his wife as if they were still newlyweds, and Lou had not lost that independent streak of hers that she prided herself so much in. Anyone would wonder how these two had such a long marriage with such apparently opposing personalities, but somehow Kid and Lou had managed to compromise, and made concessions for each other.

"Lou, Kid's just worried about ya… we all are," Teaspoon said, bringing Lou's basket to a table and taking out the covered plate with his lunch. "You've been very sick, honey."

The marshal's words managed to disarm Lou, and defeated, she dropped on one of the chairs. "I know that, but I'm fine. I really am."

The marshal just nodded. "I'm just sayin' you need to take it easy, that's all," he said as he grabbed the fork, ready to attack the meat Lou had brought him. As his mouth tasted the first forkful, the marshal made an exaggerated sound of approval and added, "This is heaven, Lou. You spoil this old geezer rotten… what would I do without you?"

Louise smiled. Watching Teaspoon eat was a delight and a real compliment to her cooking, a real boost to her confidence. Her eyes seesawed between the marshal and the two children who were quietly playing in a corner. Jed had found a small rag ball in his pocket and tossed it to his sister, who kept dropping it to the floor among giggles.

"So what's this sudden urge to clean your nest now, Teaspoon?" Lou asked when the marshal had eaten half his lunch. "Is it Amanda's visit?"

"She's comin' in two days, and I don't want her to think I live in a pigsty," Teaspoon explained. "This ain't no palace, but I can't have her and Adrian think the worst."

Lou shook her head. The rooms where Teaspoon had lived for decades were decaying, and even though Lou, Kid, and Buck had often asked him to move out of his deteriorating lodgings and live with them on the ranch, Teaspoon had always refused.

"I think you're exaggerating. This ain't so bad, and we don't think the worst about you."

"She's stayin' at the hotel, anyway," Teaspoon remarked as he munched another bite of meat and soft vegetables.

Lou kept quiet for a bit and then said, "It's been a long time since I last saw her. It was when we went to her wedding… I was expecting my Jed then."

"Oh yeah," Teaspoon replied in a vague voice, shaking his head from side to side.

"But I better not mention that wedding to her, naturally," Lou muttered in a low voice. It was public knowledge that Amanda's dreamlike husband had abandoned her for another woman barely over a year after their wedding. Their baby had just been born when the man had walked out and never looked back. "How's she coping, Teaspoon?"

"Amanda is a strong woman. It's hard to raise a child on your own, but she has no other option. I know she was bitter and very unhappy for a while but she's doin' better now."

"But she hasn't heard from him at all in all these years?" Teaspoon shook his head ruefully, and Lou let out a deep sigh. "I can't understand how some men can act so despicably!" she exclaimed. "They have a child in common. How can he not care about his son?"

"I dunno, Lou. Some men are simply heartless."

"A child is something so huge, Teaspoon. They're such an overwhelming part of your soul that you can't even express it with words!" Lou enthused passionately.

"I've heard the same speech from all mothers."

"But I know Kid feels the same. His children are his whole life, and he'd die for every one of them. And I'm pretty sure Buck feels the same for his… even for Billy, who's not his flesh and blood."

"You and Ellen are lucky to have such good men by your side, and that's the way it should always be. But I'm afraid Amanda just got herself a bad piece… somebody who only cared for himself… a selfish, unscrupulous piranha. If you ask me, they're better off without him."

Lou nodded. "That's what my ma must've thought when she took us away from my father," she sighed.

Teaspoon ate the rest of his lunch in silence, and as he wiped his mouth with the napkin Lou had also brought him, he said, "Simply delicious. Thanks a lot, dear. And now back to work and this cleanin' business."

"Let me help you. If we do it together, we'll finish this in no time."

"Lou…"

"Please, Teaspoon, I'm fine. And I can't let you make a bad impression when Amanda comes here, can I?" Louise said with a crooked smile. Teaspoon did not move and looked uncertain, but Lou jumped to her feet, grabbed a rag, and started dusting the scarce furniture diligently. When she noticed the marshal was still unmoving at the table, she stopped and exclaimed teasingly, "Teaspoon, come on! Get a move on, lazy bones!"

The old marshal started tittering in amusement, and lifted his tired body from the chair. "You're impossible, did you know that?" he said as he followed her lead and resumed beating the mattress of the dust that it still contained.

Louise threw her head back as she laughed. "I've been called worse. And now stop the chit-chat, and let us make you proud of your little abode. When we finish, everything will shine so much that we might get blinded. And now down to work."

Both Lou and Teaspoon kept laughing and joking, and it was true that sooner than the man had anticipated the rooms were sparkling and without a speck of dust, just looking forward to the visit of lovely Amanda and her child.


Like usual, the stagecoach got to Rock Creek late, and Teaspoon had to wait almost an hour before he could spot a cloud of dust rising at the other end of the town, announcing its arrival. Amanda got off to the welcoming arms of the marshal. They joined in a warm hug. The little boy stood next to his ma, staring at Teaspoon warily. Many months had gone by since the marshal's last visit, and the boy remembered him vaguely. Yet, a few wisecracks from the man which made Adrian laugh managed to conquer the child's heart in a few moments.

Teaspoon helped Amanda settle in her hotel room, and after mother and child freshened up and rested some, the marshal treated them to a scrumptious meal at the restaurant. Amanda was all smiles as she listened to Teaspoon's peculiar stories as he updated her about life in Rock Creek and its people over lunch. It had been too long since she felt this relaxed, and apart from Adrian, nothing much made her smile, let alone laugh. Only when Teaspoon had visited her in recent years, her mood had perked up. Amanda admitted it was silly to feel wretched all the time. It was almost five years since Kyle had left her high and dry, and she should have got over it by now. Yet, that individual event had shaken her so hard that the feelings of bitterness and uncertainty had become ingrained in her very soul. Her usual confidence was gone, and she felt very insecure as a woman, distrusting all men and envying all ladies.

After lunch, Teaspoon drove Amanda and the boy to the ranch that Kid, Lou, and Buck co-owned. The visit to Buck's place was quite brief since the family was surprised by some other unexpected visitors, so Teaspoon and Amanda bid their goodbyes and headed for Lou's place. Kid and Louise received the newcomers with warmth and smiles. Adrian soon scurried away to play with the McCloud children who he instantly befriended. The three boys acted as if they had known each other all their young lives instead of having been strangers until a few minutes before. The adults settled in the living room where Lou served some coffee and cookies she had baked that morning. Amanda politely asked Louise after her health after Teaspoon had mentioned about Lou being recently inflicted by scarlet fever, and of course Lou repeated what she told everybody. She was fine and felt better, which was the truth. Then the four adults delved into casual conversation, about work on the ranch, the children, and even the weather. Kid and Lou expressed their interest about Amanda, naturally avoiding touching the topic of her failed marriage.

After an hour or so, it was time to go back, and even though Lou invited Amanda to stay for dinner, she declined, pointing that what she needed was a good rest after the long journey in the stagecoach. Logically, Adrian protested after learning he had to say goodbye to his new friends.

The door closed behind the visitors, and as Lou returned to the living room where she had left her husband, she commented, "I couldn't imagine Amanda being a mother, but I'm surprised she sounds so motherly. She has clearly matured, and her boy is lovely."

Kid nodded in agreement. "It's a shame that child has to grow up without a father."

"Well, it's that idiot's loss, ain't it?" Lou remarked with a bitter expression.

Kid bobbed his head up and down. "Hopefully, one day she might find a good man who'll be ready to accept Adrian as his own."

Louise shrugged her shoulders. "Yes, but after her disastrous marriage I'd be more than reluctant to let a man in my life." She sighed, and as her eyes shifted, there was a beautiful, flowery shawl on the chair Amanda had been sitting on. "Oh she forgot that," she exclaimed, picking up the piece of material. "They can't have left yet. I'll take it back."

Before Kid could react, Louise rushed out of the house, ran across the yard, and as she reached the stables, she heard Teaspoon's voice. Relieved they hadn't left yet, Louise was about to step in the stables when her name being uttered in the conversation Amanda and the marshal were having stopped her. Lou was not one to eavesdrop, but her curiosity got the best of her, and as she inched closer to the door, she could hear what they were saying more clearly.

"What about Lou?" Teaspoon asked as he fastened one of the buckles around the horse's body.

"She looks like death warmed over. For a moment I thought she was going to fall dead in the middle of her living room."

"I told ya. She's been sick for weeks, but she's better now," Teaspoon explained. "All she needs now is to get back her strength and flesh."

"Mind you, you have to admit she was never a beauty, but now… she's beyond hideous."

Teaspoon sighed, and looked up. "Please Amanda, don't be cruel."

The woman turned a deaf ear to the marshal's comment and continued her harangue regardless. "It's rather surprising that Kid's still with her. To be perfectly honest, I never understood how he married her in the first place. Not only does she lack the looks a fine woman must have, but she was never very feminine or graceful."

Here we go again, Teaspoon thought. Since the fiasco in her marriage, Amanda had turned all haughty and looked down on any woman who was lucky enough to have a good husband by their side. When he had last visited her, he had stoically heard her disparage about all the women she came across, and that had not changed. After their visit to Buck, as they had crossed the yard to Lou's house, Amanda had been going on and on about how Buck had married a woman like Ellen who had so much baggage and a son by another man. Now it seemed the turn fell on Lou. Teaspoon could understand Amanda's bitterness and even jealousy of other women who had successful marriages, so that was why he never said much about her harsh words because deep down they did not mean anything.

"Amanda, nobody can deny that Kid was totally in love with her when they got married. There was nobody for him but Lou."

"Maybe you're right, but that naturally wilts with time. I imagine they're still together out of habit, or for the children, and not because they share some all-consuming passion. One look at her now, and the truth is plainly written there. Kid's still quite an attractive man, and if no other woman has caught his eye, it must be because with the passel of children she's burdened him with, the poor man can't have time for anything else, let alone find himself a new woman."

"Amanda, you totally shock me!" Teaspoon exclaimed. "You can't talk about things you know nothin' about!"

Lou never heard Teaspoon's last sentences or the firm rebuke that followed as he stated that there was no way he would allow her to disrespect Lou or Kid in that way. He had kept quiet on other occasions because he had imagined that her putting-down words were a way of venting her frustration, but the marshal just could not bite his tongue, hearing Amanda judge those he loved so unfairly. After his reproof, Amanda had looked visibly ashamed and had apologized. "It wasn't my intention to bad-mouth Louise. It was just a comment. Forgive me if I've offended you, Teaspoon. I often let my tongue loose without thinking."

"You haven't offended me, Amanda, but Lou and Kid are my family, and …"

"You love them to bits, I see," the woman finished the thought for him. "Haven't seen you defend somebody so fiercely… and I deserved it."

"I'd do the same for you… you know what I always say, nothing's more sacred than family."

While Teaspoon and Amanda had been sorting out their disagreement over the woman's words, Louise had marched away, grunting under her breath. Amanda's shawl was still in her hold, and she squeezed it strongly as if she had the woman's neck between her hands. Lou was seething with fury after she had heard Amanda. Outside the stables, Lou spied a pail of tar which the men had used to protect the wagon wheels, and without any qualms, she shoved the shawl into the dark, thick liquid. A stick poked out of the pail, and she used it to sink the material deeper into the tar and as she stir the sticky material, she played the words she had heard, and fury soared.

It was not only the woman she was absolutely livid with, but she was hurt and bitterly disappointed in Teaspoon. Not a single syllable had come out from his mouth in her defense… the man who she considered a father had just listened impassively to all that hogwash about her and had not said anything… nothing at all. Lou did not understand how he seemed to almost agree with what Amanda had said. Was he so blind when that woman was around that everything else became invisible and unimportant? Was that what he and everybody else thought about her? Did everyone think her marriage was a farce and that Kid would be much better off with somebody else? Louise swore that she would not let those malicious comments doubt herself and her marriage. She and Kid were happy and still in love, and nobody knew anything. However, a little tempting voice was already whispering wickedly in her head, and as she stared at the beautiful shawl buried in the pitch black liquid, she could hear that voice more clearly as it asked, "Would there possibly be some truth in those words after all?"


That night Lou sat before her dresser in her nightgown as she unbraided her hair and untangled the knots in her tresses. With powerful strokes she brushed her mane as her eyes stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her mind could not mute Amanda's scorning words which kept playing over and over again. Lou was unable to forget what she had happened to overhear, and her mood seesawed between sheer fury, disappointment, and bitterness. That woman had the nerve to scorn and mock her when she had opened her home to her with smiles and warm candor. How dare she pass judgment on her and her husband?

Louise sighed and put the brush down as she studied her face in the mirror. It was true that she was way too thin and still looked sick. Her cheekbones were too pronounced, and the pallor of her skin was evident, she mused as her hand brushed against her face. This was the image everybody now saw, and Lou admitted Amanda might have a point there. She was a totally ghastly sight, and no man would look at her twice… maybe not even her own husband. Amanda had not changed much over the years; she still bore that brilliant radiance over her, filling those beautiful dresses she favored and flaunting a beautiful mane of dark hair. In comparison Lou felt and looked like a starved pauper.

Soft steps resounded in the silence of the house, and Lou picked up the brush again as Kid stepped in the bedroom they had shared for seventeen years. As she continued brushing her hair, she studied her husband in the mirror. He walked straight to the bed where his nightshirt lay, and started to undo his shirt buttons. "Gosh, I'm so tired," he muttered as his eyes followed his fingers working on his buttons. "I could sleep for a week."

Lou's hand had stopped her motions as she gazed at the figure of Kid in the mirror. To her chagrin he had not turned his eyes to look at her since he had stepped into the bedroom. An audible sigh escaped her lips, which drew Kid's attention at once. He turned around, and noticed the strange expression of her face reflected on the shining surface of the mirror. Kid mused that Lou had been acting oddly at dinnertime as well; she had hardly said a word, and when she had spoken, she had sounded and looked too subdued.

Kid took a few steps closer to her, and asked, "Lou, is there something wrong?"

Louise kept quiet for a few seconds, and her body swirled on the stool she was sitting on so that she could look into his eyes directly. "Yes," she whispered.

Kid frowned in concern. Pulling another chair closer to her, he sat down and took her hand in his. "Tell me about it, Lou."

Louise drew a deep breath, but did not rush to talk. Despite the torturous thoughts she had been tormented by, she felt daft to question the truths she believed in, which a silly woman's words had made waver. It sounded so feeble and ridiculous, but she needed to get it off her chest. The idea that Teaspoon had hardly defended her against that woman also weighed in her mind, and she wondered what that implied.

Lou sighed once again. "Kid," she started hesitatingly. "Uh… imagine we got to meet now instead of all these years ago. What would happen then?"

"Happen?" Kid echoed in confusion.

"Between you and me," Lou elaborated, and when Kid did not speak up, she grew irritated, and snapped, "Just say it. You wouldn't look at me twice, would you? I've become so homely that all I can inspire from you is nothing but pity. I…"

"Will you stop talking nonsense, Lou? What the heck is wrong with you?" Kid cut her off, hating to see her doubting herself or the strong bond that had been forged between them over the years.

"I just want to know if my husband still likes me as a woman."

Kid stared at her dumbfounded. "Do you really want me to answer that?" he asked, and her silence and deep glance responded his question meaningfully. Kid sighed, and kept thoughtful for a few seconds. "Lou, when I fell for you, it was for more reasons than your pretty face. You were so beautiful to me even dressed like a boy, and you captivated me completely because I could see a lot more in you than most people."

"And what about now?" Lou insisted stubbornly.

"You're my everything, Lou… I can't think of my life without you in it."

"But I look hideous," she whispered.

"No, you don't."

"Oh come on, Kid! I have eyes, and the mirror doesn't fool me!" she exclaimed annoyed. "All men like pretty women, and you're a man. Surely you'll feast your eyes with all the beautiful women when you go to town, and think what a hag you have at home!"

Kid was totally flabbergasted and shocked by the way Lou was speaking. It was not the first time his wife had looked down on herself, but this was too much even for herself. "Will you stop that?" he said in a categorical tone. "First, you're precious to me, and you're beautiful… for me there's nobody as precious as you. Lou, you've been sick and lost weight, but that's all, and when you gain some pounds, you'll look the same you did before falling ill." Kid paused, let out his breath, and added, "And secondly, I want to know what this is about... Why all of a sudden are you rambling about all this hogwash?"

"I… I overheard Amanda tell Teaspoon something," she stuttered, feeling silly and totally childish for overreacting and pouring her stupid questions to Kid.

"What thing?"

"She… she was saying it was odd you're still married to me when I don't have the charms expected in a woman."

"And what the hell does she know about us, Lou?" Kid exclaimed roughly. "Who is she to pass judgment on what we do or don't do? How many times have we seen her over the years? Five or six? And even in those times I've hardly talked to her much, and now she thinks she knows what I feel for my wife?"

Lou lowered her eyes, feeling worse and worse by the minute. "You're right."

"What annoys me, Lou, is that you let the words of a mere acquaintance get to you and fill your head with doubts. We've been married for seventeen years, and that means something, at least for me."

"For me too," Lou replied, putting as much conviction in her words as possible.

"I never ask myself if you love me, because I know you do. You've shown me plenty of times over the years."

Louise sighed morosely. "I know you love me too."

"Do you? I'm starting to doubt that," Kid said in a low voice, keeping his eyes downcast.

"Please Kid. I was stupid to bring it up. Can we forget about this?"

"I'm afraid I can't do that," he said, and when he lifted his eyes back to her, she noticed the mischief and longing that she knew too well. Walking closer to her, he took her hand and gently pulled her to her feet. "Now we need to prove how very wrong or right Amanda is… Let me show you how unattractive and unappealing I find you." His lips came to kiss hers hotly and passionately while his fingers sneaked between both their bodies and started to undo the belt of her robe.

Lou let herself follow his lead, and as they kissed, Kid's feet started to move towards their bed, steering his wife along. Among kisses, Louise managed to say, "I thought you were too tired and longed for a good night sleep."

Kid stopped and looked into her eyes. "And I plan to get even more tired… how better can I fall asleep but with the nice feeling of having loved my pretty wife?" Lou chuckled but the laughter died on her lips as Kid resumed his attack on her as he led her to a realm that she was already familiar with but she adored and felt like a queen in.