Chapter 4 -
The taxi ride wasn't so bad but I couldn't stop myself from crying. I got a lot of weird looks from the driver but he didn't say anything. I was thankful; I didn't think I could handle a bunch of questions right now. I would probably break down and say that I wanted to go back. No, I had to be strong. All this would be for nothing if I decided to go back now.
As much as my heart begged me to go back I couldn't handle just being someone looking in. I couldn't handle not being someone special to Hiruma. I couldn't handle having to watch as Hiruma went through his life without me. Oh god how I wish I could. I wish I could be happy just being next to him, being his star running back, being his friend...well sort of.
I would wish for a lot of things if I had the chance.
The taxi driver was so sweet as he took my stuff to the post office and sent it off. I couldn't go in because I couldn't stop crying. I knew that I needed to get myself together but I just couldn't. In the next ten minutes I managed to stop the flowing tears so that when we pulled into the airport I could get out without feeling completely like crap. As I was getting out of the cab the taxi driver turned around to me and gave me a look that I couldn't quite understand
"Hey kid, I don't know what you're going through but just be true to yourself and know that everything's going to get better eventually"
He turned back around and tears spring to my eyes again. I had to fight the urge to not let them slide my cheeks as I watched the cab drive away. I trudged my way into the airport. I stood in the freaky long lines in a daze. It was like I was in a tunnel, everything was like white noise, and I couldn't hear a thing. I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to see anything because of blurry eyes if I didn't feel so numb. I had to wait a little before we were called to board. As we were waiting in line the reality of the situation hit me full force.
I would never see Hiruma again
I knew it was stupid to be thinking that now, I should be prepared for this and yet I'm not. God, I'm pathetic. I told myself I would deal with the consequences of my decision and yet it wasn't like I had to get on that plane. No, I didn't have to get on the plane, I didn't have to leave, and I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do. I could go back to my cozy life and pretend everything was okay. I would face the anger and disgust of my teammate but at least I could see hiruma. I wouldn't have to go without him. I could turn back and go home.
No, I couldn't do it. I made the right decision. No matter what happened or how much pain and agony that I had to go through it was just as the taxi driver said, even if I couldn't see Hiruma again, even if I cried my eyes out every day and it hurt so much that I felt like I couldn't go on anymore, I would be true to myself and everything would get better. I would forget eventually.
It was for the best.
With only one tear to slide down my face I handed the girl my ticket and boarded the plane
Please R and R
Sorry I'm so late in updating and that's this chapters so short (though it kind of had to be, to be dramatic)
As always thank you do those that are following this story and/or reviewing. It makes my day brighter to know someone likes my story. : D
