I'm not going to lie…I started crying during the third vision. For real and honest, I did.
For the "conscious" parts, I listened to "Into Eternity" from the Thor2 soundtrack, then "Gandalf Falls Extended."
Enjoy.
VVVVV
CHAPTER THREE
Loki sat on a broad, sunlit lawn, wearing loose trousers and a white tunic, and no shoes. White flowers dotted the emerald grass, and blooming trees bordered the expanse. Loki was busily braiding long pieces of thick, flowering vine to lay across the mantel in their bedroom. And a little toddling girl, no higher than his knee, garbed in nothing but a diaper, spun to face him—and nearly fell over. She had curly raven hair that danced around her face, teased by the summer breeze. She met his eyes—she had one brown one and one green one. Large and brilliant, with long, dark eyelashes.
"Da," she declared, holding out a grubby fistful of clover to him.
"No, you're not to eat those," Loki told her, glancing briefly up at her and raising his eyebrows.
"Guh-da…bum…bum—gggnnah!" she answered, her delicate brow frowning as she shook her fistful.
"I don't care what Volstaag told you," Loki said frankly. "They're not for eating. They're fairy-kind. If you do your nose will turn purple. Then what would we do with you?"
She rammed the weeds up against her nose, then sneezed hard. It knocked her onto her bottom.
"Look, see what you've done?" Loki told her, in flat, subdued exasperation. She sneezed again.
"Come, give me those." Loki held out his hand. She looked at them—and rammed them into her mouth.
Loki burst out laughing.
"You naughty—!" he declared. "Give those to me, you little—" He pounced on her. She shrieked. He pulled the clovers out of her grip and tossed them, and before she knew it he had whirled her through the air. He landed on his back, put his foot on her stomach and straightened his leg, lifting her all the way up. He flopped his arms out to his sides, looking up at her.
"Well? Now what are you going to do?"
"Pppppttthht," she spat defiantly, wriggling.
"You're going to fall," he warned.
"Gggnnnn," she protested, making a stubborn face.
Loki moved his foot.
She tumbled.
He sat up, and easily caught her little frame with both hands.
Her look of fear instantly transformed into one of delight. She beamed toothlessly at him—and let out a peal of giggling laughter.
Loki grinned, and rubbed his nose against hers.
"I'll always catch you, Little Bean," he promised, settling her against him and briskly kissing her forehead.
The sunlit meadow faded away...
Shifted, shadowed…
And transformed into a riding green, littered with obstacles.
Loki, wearing his leather equestrian clothes and coat, stood with arms folded off to the side of it.
Watching a girl atop a black stallion.
The girl was quite young yet—lanky, without womanly curves or appeal, and her long, tangled raven hair bannered out behind her. Her pale face was set, her black eyebrows drawn together in concentration as her sure hands guided the horse at a canter around the green. She wore emerald and black, with trousers instead of a riding skirt.
"Keep your heels down, Auri," Loki called to her.
"I am," she shot back as she and the horse leaped over a gate.
"No, you are not," Loki replied. "Why would I say something if you were?"
"Because you're not looking," she shot him a glare, both her dark and vivid eyes blazing.
"Watch your tongue," Loki advised. "I've been riding quite a while longer than you have."
"You said I was—" she leaped again. "—already better than you were at my age!"
"I'll stop giving you compliments if you throw them back at me," Loki said. "Now do as I say."
She scowled, kicking her horse harder than necessary and urging him into a run to take the next gate.
Something darted out—
A rabbit!
It jetted out in front of the horse, zig-zagging right in front of its hooves.
The horse reared back, eyes wide, letting out a tearing scream.
Its back hooves slipped in the mud.
Loki's heart stopped.
The girl tumbled backward, out of the saddle and struck the ground—
The horse tipped, poised to fall back on top of her and crush her.
Loki moved.
He hurled magic out before him as he leaped—
Dove into the mud, caught her up in his arms, rolled with her—
The horse fell to the earth, scrambled, and got back up, its saddle sideways.
Loki and the girl rolled to a halt.
Let out a huff, his head falling back onto the wet grass as he gripped the girl against his chest. Her messy hair brushed his face. He opened his eyes.
She stared, wide-eyed, down at him. Dirt smeared her white skin.
"Are you okay, Dad?" she asked breathlessly, borrowing her mother's words.
"Mhm," Loki nodded, feeling shaky all over. "Mhm, yes. Fine."
She stared at him a moment longer, then started to giggle.
"What?" Loki demanded, emphasizing the "t".
"We're covered with mud," she muttered.
"Oh, yes?" Loki said, lifting his head and raising his eyebrows. "Whose fault is that, may I ask?"
"Yours," she answered frankly.
"Oh, really."
"Yes."
"Well, then I might as well take the blame for this, too." He flipped her over onto the mud and tickled her.
She shrieked with laughter, kicking wildly.
"No, no, no, no!" she wiggled, trying to fight him off. She flipped mud up at his face.
"How dare you—"
"Hahaha!" she crowed, smearing mud across his forehead and cheek. "Get off, get off!"
"You have to make me, Bean," he challenged.
And in answer, she fairly covered his whole face in mud. And he almost buried her with tickling.
This, too, finally faded into darkness…
And lightened again, into a long, golden hallway.
Loki strode down it, passing pillars, his boots tapping the stone.
A young woman stood at the far end, her back to him. She was pleasingly-formed, with long, smooth, raven hair. Her purple dress touched the floor. She did not move, and her arms wrapped around her middle.
"Well?" Loki smiled, holding his arms out to the sides. "What did he say?"
Slowly, she turned to face him…
And heavy tears trailed from her stunning eyes and ran down her pale, utterly beautiful face.
She met his glance.
Loki's heart turned to stone.
"He said he did not love me after all," she whispered.
"Oh…" Loki gasped, stopping where he stood. "Oh, Bean…"
"Oh, Daddy!" she wailed, and threw herself into his arms.
Loki's heart shattered to a thousand pieces as he wrapped her up, staring out in front of him in bafflement.
"I…I don't understand it," he confessed. "What…What a fool! I…I have no idea…" He stopped, pulled back, and took her face earnestly in his hands. He looked straight into her tear-filled eyes. "I don't understand…" he said, with passion. "How anyone could not love such a lovely and wonderful young lady like you."
She burst into sobbing again, and he crushed her to his chest, closing his eyes and leaning his chin down against her head.
"I know it doesn't seem like much right now," Loki murmured, a tear of his own running down. "But I love you. I love you very, very much."
"Loki."
Loki's eyes jerked open.
For a moment, he could only see a bright blur…
Which finally focused into the crisp flames of the fire in the hearth.
He sucked in his breath, feeling the furs and the solid chair beneath him—the dream faded back into shadow.
His throat closed.
"Loki." A heavy hand landed on his shoulder. He jerked, and twitched around to his left to see Thor standing over him…
And worry glimmered in his eyes.
"What is it?" Loki asked, hushed.
"Eir wishes to speak to all of us."
Loki went still.
Then, his breathing picked up to an alarming rate.
"Thor…" he choked.
"Now, it may be nothing," Thor said pointedly, keeping hold of his arm. "She just wishes to have us all together to tell us what progress has been made, rather than have misinformation travel through the palace."
Loki couldn't speak.
"Come," Thor said, reaching under Loki's arm and tugging on him gently.
Loki's muscles would not work for a long moment.
But finally, he forced himself to his feet. Loki glanced around the empty room. He felt light-headed.
"Where are the others?"
"They are already waiting outside the healing rooms," Thor answered.
Loki said nothing. Did not move.
Turned a slow, terrified stare to his older brother. Thor met his eyes.
"Come on," Thor whispered—reached down, and took Loki by the hand. Warmth enclosed Loki's icy fingers. Thor tugged on him again, and together—hand in hand like little boys—they trailed out of the feasting hall and into the corridor.
All Loki could do was put one foot in front of the other, his jaw clenched, barely able to see, pulled along by Thor's firm, warm grasp.
An eternity later, they came to the bend in the corridor right beside the healing rooms. Thor let go of Loki's hand, but his shoulder brushed his as they turned the corner and went on.
Everyone turned to face them—Father, Mother, Steven and Sif. All dressed and somewhat presentable. The women's eyes flashed with concern as soon as they saw the brothers. Odin's weary face had become haggard. Steve met Loki's eyes, and gave him a small smile.
"Hello, alskling," Frigga gave him a better smile, and came up to him. She took both his hands in hers. "You're freezing to death."
"Yes, I know," Loki rasped.
"Come," Frigga urged, pulling him toward the door. "Let us hear what Eir has to say."
Just then, one of the doors of the healing rooms opened, and Eir slipped out. She shut the door quietly behind her, then faced the group. Loki's hand clenched on his mother's. She returned the pressure.
"Your Majesties," she inclined her head. "The Lady Jane is not doing well. Though her body is now Aesir, her frame is from Midgard. It is clear now that even if she had married a blood-Aesir, the resulting child would be too much for her to bear."
Loki's heart staggered.
"In addition," Eir went on, with infuriating calm. "Since this child is half Jotun, the distress of labor has caused her to reflexively protect herself."
"What do you mean?" Thor demanded.
"She is hiding in ice," Odin murmured.
They all turned to stare at the All Father. He glanced at his family, but said no more.
Eir nodded.
"She is. She has turned Lady Jane's womb into a little chamber of ice. As it is, Jane cannot give birth in a natural fashion."
"What is the alternative? Surely there is one!" Frigga cried.
"What about a C-section?" Steven spoke up.
Now everyone looked at him. He glanced around at them.
"It's um…Well, it's not pleasant to explain, but sometimes, on Earth, when the baby's too big, they perform a C-section, which is…They cut the mother open. And take the baby out."
Loki thrilled with horror. Thor stepped in behind him—Loki rested his shoulder against him.
"Yes," Eir nodded. "This is the alternative. Which is why I requested that all of you come."
Loki swallowed. It felt like he was ingesting glass.
"We will have to use a great deal of heat, and many untried methods of surgery," Eir went on. "The child is gifted in magic—and very frightened—which can be a dangerous combination."
"What…" Loki cut in.
Eir looked at him, and waited.
He felt his whole body going cold as stone.
"What are the chances…" he whispered. "That they will die?"
Everyone went pale. Odin aged a thousand years—and closed his eyes. Sif did not look at anyone. Eir took a breath—and for the first time, it shivered.
"Considering how weary Lady Jane is, and how fortified the child is," she said. "Half of life, half of death. There is even a chance that Jane may die, but the child will live." She set her mouth. "But if we do nothing, they both will surely die."
Loki's vision blinked in and out.
He sat down hard on the floor.
"Loki," his mother said hurriedly, kneeling down in front of him, scrambling to take hold of his hands. He couldn't see her.
"Loki, listen," Frigga urged. "Jane is very strong. She will—"
"I've killed her," Loki gasped, blinded by tears. "I have done this—"
"No, Loki—"
"If I'd left her alone on Midgard!" he roared, pulling away from Frigga, watching her eyes widen. "If I'd left her when I healed from my fall, never come near her again, never pulled her into all this nonsense, never let her marry a monster like me—"
"And never let her love you?" Frigga said quietly. She shook her head. "No, Loki."
Loki gasped and fiercely swiped at his face, halfway seeing his hand take on an eerie blue tinge.
"Your Majesties, we are running out of time…" Eir reminded them.
"You say if this is not done, they both will die?" Thor asked.
"Yes, your Majesty."
"Then do it," Thor commanded. Eir bowed her head.
"Pray for us," she urged, turned, and re-entered the healing room.
VVVVV
Loki stood alone in the corridor outside the healing room. Shadows had long ago fallen across him, since he had not moved and the torches had gone to sleep. He rested his forehead against the golden wood of the door and breathed in, out. In. Out. In. Out…
His family had stood with him for a long time—Thor to one side, Steven on the other, both with their arms about Loki's shoulders. Then, at last, Frigga had suggested that they do as Eir said. So—though Loki would not accompany them—the rest of the royal family had trailed down to the ancient church to pray.
That had been at least two hours ago.
Now, the night had deepened to very early morning. The storm outside had settled, no longer thundering, but pouring sheets of melancholy rain. Loki simply rested his head against the door, and breathed. In. Out. In. Out…
Light flickered against his eyelids. Torches guttered.
He felt someone ease into his awareness.
Soft, careful footsteps.
It was a she.
She crept up to his right side—a hesitant shadow.
Very unlike her.
Loki, keeping his forehead against the door, tilted his face toward her.
"Your Majesty," he whispered in acknowledgement.
Sif, in a dark velvet dress, her black hair only half up, stood just there, her hands clasped in front of her. She watched his face, her obsidian eyes aglitter in the torchlight, her usually stern features softened.
"Loki," she murmured—in a gentle tone he had never heard from her before. She gripped her hands together harder.
He swallowed, and halfway turned toward her, listening. She kept her eyes fixed on him.
"Loki, I simply…" She drew in a shuddering breath. Her eyebrows drew together. "I simply wanted to tell you how…how sorry I am that this has happened."
He nodded hastily, glancing at the ground.
"But even so, I…" she went on shakily. "I just know that…both of them will be all right."
Loki's brow twisted—he nodded again.
"They…both of them," she gasped, her voice watery. "I just—"And she suddenly stepped into him and wrapped her arms tight around his neck. "I know they will both be all right!"
Loki melted against her, giving way and folding her up in his arms. She stroked the back of his head, and he squeezed his eyes shut.
"They will be all right," he breathed in his ear. "They will. I am certain they will."
For another moment, she held him fiercely, then backed up and kissed him on the forehead. When he opened his eyes, he saw her face was wet with tears. She gave him a brave, tear-stained smile.
"Well, my queen," Loki managed through his own tears. "If you say it, it shall be so."
"It shall be," she nodded, reaching out and touching his face briefly.
He nodded too, then took up her hand and kissed it.
"I will go get Thor," she said, squeezing his fingers. "We shall keep vigil together."
"Thank you, Sif," he murmured—utterly sincere. She smiled at him again, let go, and hurried away down the corridor.
To be continued!
Review!
And don't forget to go read "Bauldr's Tears: A Retelling of Loki's Fate" on Amazon!
