Reyna Pov
I watched as Octavian whipped the Roman legion into a frenzy. The whole thing felt wrong to me, I didn't want war, I just wanted things back to normal. It all started with Jason disappearing and leaving me alone to deal with Octavian and his problems. Then Percy came and shook everything up, making me believe that perhaps I had found someone to share the burden with, of course he had to leave too.
I didn't want pity, but I wished someone cared for me the way Annabeth cared for Percy or even Jason and his new girlfriend Piper. It was hard not to get resentful when all the good things in your life got ruined and left you to pick up the pieces. I know now not to blame Percy for what happened at Circes' island, I had always known what she was doing was wrong but she offered protection. Then Jason, perhaps the most constant thing in my life and he was gone too, kidnapped for some dumb quest. After months Percy shows up and brings me a new sense of hope, that perhaps my long lonely journey would be finally filled with someone else.
The teenage girl in me always wondered why me? Wasn't I pretty enough? Smart enough? I couldn't help but feel there was something wrong with me, that perhaps I was made different from others and I was meant to be alone. On the low occasions I would accept that I would never have anyone and that perhaps I had somehow deserved it.
Now though, I was completely alone, normally I would have the rest of the legion to interact with and lead, but now they were only interested in blood. I could feel deep inside that this was wrong, but Octavian had made it impossible for the rest to listen to reason. I should have known this would happen sooner or later. Octavian was like lightning strikes, you keep testing your luck and one day it will hit home.
The wind whipped through my long black hair flinging it into my eyes. The smell of the bread from the bakery was brought out to me. I felt a small smile on my lips as I remembered a beautiful day like this with Jason.
"Reyna get me a piece would you?" Jason called from the table he had found.
I smirked, let the woman do all the work. I ordered two slices of cinnamon bread from the bakery in New Rome. They had the best food in the entire camp and only on special occasion did we eat here. The war with Saturn had just ended and we felt this was as good a time as any to get this delicacy. I thought it was a little too convenient that Saturn disappeared after we defeated Krios on Mount Othyrs but right now I didn't care.
The lady behind the counter handed me the bread and I thanked her as I walked away. The cool evening air blew through my hair chilling me slightly. The sun was low in the sky not quite setting but close to it. Everything was washed in an orange color, the moment seemed too perfect.
I arrived at the table Jason had occupied and handed him his bread. He smiled at me causing my heart to flutter just a little. His close cropped blonde hair was shining in the orange light almost illuminating him like a god. I smiled back, Jason fought like a god on Mount Othyrs when he defeated Krios. I shivered remembering the terrible things that had happened that day.
Jason saw me shudder, "What's wrong Reyna?" He said concern in his voice.
I sighed, he knew me too well, "Nothing Jason, just lost in my thoughts."
He smiled, causing his electric blue eyes to sparkle, "Hey, what happened on the mountain, we did all that we could, we can't save everyone."
I looked back at him grateful for his attempt to cheer me up. I wished Jason saw the way I felt about him, but through his actions he had made it clear he wasn't that interested in me. It hurt slightly but I could live with it, as long as he was with me.
"Hey Jason," I said snapping out of my thoughts.
"Yeah, what's up?" Jason replied setting his bread down.
"You'll always be there for me right?" I asked, normally I didn't like to show weakness but at this time, after everyone we lost, I needed to know I had him.
He smiled again with a look almost like disbelief on his face, "Reyna I can promise you that no matter what, when you need me, I'll be there."
I smiled back taking a bite of my bread.
I was brought back to reality by Octavian screaming about how the Greeks were no match for our military might. The small smile I had worn a moment before was gone. The memory only brought pain with it now. I had been so naive to believe that he would always be there for me, no one had ever been there for me for a long period of time. He was just like everyone else, filling my life with joy and allowing me to depend on them, then tearing themselves away to leave me alone to wallow in despair.
I couldn't allow myself these moments of weakness anymore. I didn't trust myself to open up to someone new and have the chance of them leaving me alone and broken. Perhaps someday, I told myself I could finally settle down with someone but for now, I have to live with being alone and fighting a two way war. One with the Greeks and then one with my own people.
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