If you had to answer honestly, you'd assume your self doubt began shortly after you were burned. You stared at your reflection in the mirror of your bedroom, half of your face bound tightly in bandages. You were confused as to why your father would do such a thing to his only son. You felt cowardly as well, but, you would not fight your father.
As he cleaned the burn around your eye, Iroh tried to talk to you about it, not that you remember what he had said or anything. You picked a point on your wall, a picture of your mother, and stared at it, letting your mind walk away from you. You didn't want to be here anymore. The entire Fire Nation now knew of your cowardly action. If you could, you would curl up in a ball and disappear.
Your wish would soon be granted, however, not in the way you thought it would be.
You had been banished, sent on a goose chase for the Avatar. Once he was found, your honor would be restored. At this moment, finding the Avatar became your main concern.
That was around the time your self loathing complex began.
Maybe it was because the rest of your crew treated you as a child or maybe it had to do with how no one understood just how important this mission was to you. You found yourself brooding in your room when you had the time; training when you weren't.
It's because of this, that your crew began losing respect for you. Not that they should respect the banished prince.
You realize now that you think about it, you realize you never gave them anything to respect.
To them, you were a hot headed teenager who was doing his best to be an adult.
They weren't entirely wrong either.
However, you were hot headed for a good reason. Your honor was at stake here.
For whatever reason, you no longer cared for their respect, even after they began to show it.
As you and Iroh set out on your own, you became more aware of your inner turmoil. You began starting battles, fighting mostly with yourself. You were reduced to nothing but a pathetic robber. Then you met the Freedom Fighters and your lack of thinking came in to light.
Jet was the first to see this. It was the first time anyone had ever tired to question you about it until now. He saw right through your disguise as Li and looked straight to who you really were.
And now begins your paranoia.
You didn't know why, but you always felt that people were talking about you. That more than likely is what lead you to this point.
All you'd hear about was how the banished prince dropped off the face of the planet. Some would wonder out loud what had happened to you, other thought it was a God sent.
Many people thought is was better that way.
With you gone, everyone was saved from your crazy behavior and Avatar hunt. No one had to deal with the seemingly pointless mission of a teenager.
No one had to face you.
And that's why you were here. If you had to wake up another morning, world against you, you wouldn't be able to take it. Uncle Iroh tried his best to understand.
"They all hate me..." You started, looking up at your uncle. He had just finished making his tea and was seated on the floor across from you.
"And who is 'they', Prince Zuko?" He asks, setting his cup beside him.
"Well, everyone."
"That did not answer my question."
"Fine, every one in all four nations hate me."
"Now, that can't be. I don't remember hating you. Perhaps it is just my age getting the better of my memory." Iroh jokes, taking a sip from his tea.
"Uncle, I'm known as a coward back home, I have no honor," You mumble, "I have nothing for anyone to respect."
"That is back home, Prince Zuko, things are different here." He offers you a smile that you shoot down.
"People here hate me too."
"Zuko, people here do not know you as Fire Nation. Here, they think you are Li, and if I had to guess, I would say they like you very much."
"But, I'm not Li-"
"In a way, you are, you have a role to play, and you do it quite naturally." He shifts, "Now, aside from the hate...what else would make you think that this was the better option?" He sets his tea on the floor.
"I...I don't know...It just...it seemed so much easier...than living..."
Iroh takes a moment to think about what you said before coming up with a response, "Zuko, the easiest way is not always the right way. Life is hard, this I know. But, it does get better and it does have its rewards."
"How? How can life get better? I was lucky to be born-"
"If you keep loathing yourself, how can you possible expect anything to get better?"
You stop to think about his question
"It can't get better." You finally answer.
"Exactly, you must change to make yourself happy. The rest of your life with follow with it." He picks your letter up and hands it to you, "Now, Zuko, I never want to see this sort of thing from you again."
You nodded slowly, letting a slow flow of energy flow to your hand, heating the paper until it burned.
As the paper burned away, your old self went with it.
A/N: Yes, it kinda sucky ending. I actually messed up the whole part of them being in Ba Sing Se and my twin (Purpledragon6), my bud, and I were in Algebra trying to figure that out. So yeah. I might try my hand at a little more Zuko fics, just cause he's so fun to write for. THANKS FOR READING!
