A/N This chapter is here finally, I'm extremly sorry about the lenght but I've never done Snape's POV before. This chapter wouldn't of been this good if it wasn't for my amazing beta Severus' Malfoy Maiden. For Beautiful-Liar 13 this chapter is for you.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot sadly.
Chapter Six - A Slither of Snape
A story of Severus Snape
'Journal'
I wish for death, but it is just outside my grasp.
Lily has been murdered; He killed her.
Of course He is fully capable of murder and needed no other reason than and she was a Muggle-born, but I am unable to grapple with the fact that he killed her when I asked for her to be spared. I am a selfish man, but I loved her so much.
The trouble with loving is that the ones you love die all too soon. Since Lily there has been but one: Michelle Warrens, a beautiful half blood. She had the kindest heart. Bellatrix killed Michelle in a fit of rage. It was reminiscent of the Muggle fairy tale Cinderella, when her step-sisters tore apart her dress for the ball, only this was more vicious and fatal. Michelle warmed even the coldest hearts; people who were incapable of love. It was her special way. She was one of a kind.
I should have learnt not to get too close to a woman, but there is a desire that cannot be filled by solidarity
Professor Aurora Sinistra. She is much like a gnat that will not leave. I have to contently remind myself not to get grow any emotional attachment towards her. Though, I suspect she would like nothing more..
I am confused by her persistence. I make a conscience effort to repel her in order to preserve her life – to help her avoid the pain that inevitably comes from knowing me, but she ignores me. Alas, it is because of her wilful indignation and stubborn presentation that I find myself missing her. It will be another year before we meet again. I have reluctantly promised to owl, but she didn't realize how easily I wanted to agree. I will count the months and look forward to seeing her again. I must also practice patience in light of my companion. As Aurora has attempted to bring the humanity out in me, this insufferable swot will surely stomp it into the ground and resurrect what Aurora worked so hard to dissolve.
