You have all been so kind to me. Seriously. I can't thank you enough... and that is why I decided to write a third chapter. This one took longer to write and I am not so sure about its existence but well... I wrote it for you guys, so I truly hope you enjoy it. It's actually rather scary to publish it. Oh, the fear of disappointment. Anyway, thank YOU for every single review and favorite and follow. You've made me smile!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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"I want to see you. All of you."
The words came out of Emma's mouth like a confession. The innocence of the half-whispered statement was overwhelming. This wasn't a child asking for a toy just for the sake of having one more, just for the sake of having a new and expensive one. No, this was a woman letting her desires take over her tongue.
Regina wasn't sure whether Emma had meant for her to hear what she had just said. The younger woman was resting her forehead against hers, her eyes closed, her lips still parted. Regina couldn't help but wonder what was crossing Emma's mind. It seemed like she had gone to one of her little places where no one else existed, where all the air available was just hers to take in and to let out.
Regina understood the need for silence, the need for loneliness, but from what she had seen of Emma's portfolio, the younger woman had never met anything else, had never truly seen what the opposite of loneliness, what the opposite of silence, felt like. How could she learn to truly appreciate them? If only she knew she had a choice...
Emma seemed to be the kind of person who was always there for everyone, who was always expected to be there and never to disappoint. Expectations. Now that was something Regina knew a lot about. They were the reason why Regina had met Emma in the first place. If she hadn't stayed at the university, teaching, just like her mother had said would make her happy, she would never had met this extraordinary human being that stood now in front of her, completely obvious of her magnificence.
Regina understood the fear of disappointment, the irrational fear of losing the people who had never been there for her in the first place. Making other people happy seemed to be much easier than finding your own path to happiness. After a while, you start confusing the smiles on other people's faces with your own. That is, until pain strikes. That's when you retreat so that you don't hurt the people that deep inside you know would turn their backs on you if you approached them with your own issues. Then you find yourself sitting there, crying your eyes out in the darkness that has long ago become your only friend. You are about to acknowledge the fact that you are completely alone when the phone rings. They need you. And you don't think twice, you get up, you wipe your tears away, and you go give a hand to those who walked over you when you most needed them.
That was surely one of the reasons behind the longing in Emma's drawings. It was so palpable... you could almost feel it reaching out and wrapping its cold hands around your neck, making it hard to breathe. Did it ever let go of yours? Regina wondered, one of her hands coming to find the soft skin of Emma's neck, starting to trace soothing circles there.
Regina started to second guess herself. Was she the right person to bring the young woman back to the world of the living? But how could she not? How could she abandon the young girl to live in the world of dreams? She deserved to feel wanted and needed and enough. That was it, the need to always be there, Emma didn't feel enough. Regina sighed deeply, closing her own eyes momentarily. Was she ready to deal with this woman? Was she ready to let her in? She had been the blonde a few years back, she had been the girl who walked to the last and abandoned drafting table by the window. Had she ever left, she wondered... had she ever taken a real step forward?
"You don't even know me." Regina murmured, letting out a breath she hadn't been aware she had been holding. She felt Emma's hand touch her own, their fingers instantly tangling themselves, as if that had always been their reality.
"Then why do I feel like I know you better than I know myself?" Emma opened her eyes again and found Regina's brown ones waiting, expectantly. She felt slightly taken aback as she explored the darkness of Regina's eyes. Going against all the rules of nature, the darkness in Regina felt warm instead of cold. There was understanding and concern instead of the ordinary disgust she had gotten so used to recognize.
Emma couldn't help but smile. Regina, a woman she had met less than 24 hours ago, understood her... cared for her. Little did she know that that impeccable smile had been what Regina had been waiting for to make a decision. The older woman stood up and offered Emma a hand.
Emma raised an eyebrow, taking in the sight of Regina. The older woman was wearing a cotton sleepshirt, white and grey stripes, that ended slightly above her knees. Her long and toned legs seemed to never end even though she was barefoot, her toe nails black as night. There was no make-up on her face and her hair was still falling perfectly over her shoulders. She noticed the tattoo on the inside of the wrist of the extended arm. She reached for it, pulling Regina slightly closer as she ran her fingertips over the feather that seemed to have kissed Regina's skin and fallen in love, deciding on never abandoning her. She looked up at Regina and she found in the older woman's eyes all the confidence she needed. She took her hand.
"You haven't been paying attention, dear." Regina started as she guided Emma to her bedroom. "You have to learn to love yourself first." She opened the door and walked into the dark room, not letting go of Emma's hand this time, not even to close the door behind them. "And don't go all I-love-myself-you-just-don't-see-it because I have seen your drawings." She led Emma to the right side of her bed.
"This is not pity." She said as she removed Emma's leather jacket. "What you see in my eyes, it's not pity." She continued as she got rid of the tank top Emma was wearing underneath. "You might confuse it to be such thing for that is what you feel for yourself." She undid Emma's jeans. "But that is not what I feel for you." Regina reassured her as she helped Emma to step out of her jeans after taking her shoes off. "I want you." She allowed her hands to touch the skin of Emma's back, making the younger woman flinch under her touch. "I crave you." She murmured against Emma's lips as she unclasped her bra. "I am going to teach you the meaning of pleasure, okay? I want you to keep your eyes on me all the way through. Don't close them. Fight the need for darkness. Let the world spin and just simply enjoy the ride, okay?" She said as she laid Emma on her bed, straddling her.
"This is about you." Regina stopped Emma's hand from reaching for her sleepshirt, bringing them to rest on her hips instead.
"I want you to feel the blood rushing through veins." Regina said as she placed a soft kiss upon the place where Emma's neck met her shoulder. "I want you to feel your heart starting to beat faster and faster." She continued before putting her tongue out to taste the white skin, biting and gentle sucking it before kissing it and licking her way up to Emma's ear. "I want you to feel your own pupils dilating." She whispered, pulling on her ear slightly and smiling victoriously as she felt Emma's hips buckling against hers. "Now I want you to say hello to lust."
Regina kissed Emma's lips and smirked at the look on the blonde's face. "This is how it feels. It's better than from a distance, don't you think?" She sat up slightly and allowed one of her fingers to learn the path that went from Emma's jaw to her bellybutton. "But far more complicated for from a distance there's a reason for you not being able to touch, but now you are so close and yet you can't seem to be able to reach it, right? You are so close you can feel my breath on your lips and you just want to do something about it, don't you?" Emma started to raise her hand but Regina stopped her again. "But I am not going to let you. Because I want you to feel this. Feel it deeply. In your core. Wanting and not having. Wanting but not being able to have it. I want you to memorize this feeling and make it travel to your fingertips so that next time you paint a portrait of someone's breasts, I want you to draw their nipples erect from your wanting, the longing of the painter, not of their owner." Regina smiled wickedly and Emma registered this new shade of the woman. "I want you to be the one smirking on the other end for feeling what the other wants you to make them feel."
"Just like you are at the moment?" Emma asked, fighting to make words come out of her mouth coherently. It was not just what Regina was doing to her, the way she was touching her as if getting to know her body like the back of her hand was Regina's last mission on Earth. No, it wasn't just that, it was also the voice... she could feel Regina's words caressing her skin, going down her torso, her abdomen.
"Yes. Exactly like that." Regina's lips travelled from Emma's lips to the vale between the blonde's breasts. "See how good it feels? See how good you can make someone feel? See how good you can make yourself feel?"
Emma was about to say something, or so she thought, but her words were stolen away by Regina's mouth on her nipples. Emma had to bite hard on her lower lip to fight the desire to just close her eyes and ignore the world outside to simply focus on that feeling. Instead, pleasure met pain and their embrace took Emma's breath away. She found herself letting out a breathless moan that had been tickling her throat. She could feel the blush on her face. She had never felt this alive in her whole life. The adrenalin was making her senses feel with such intensity. She couldn't put it into words...
Touch me
like you have been blind
since the moment you were born
and I am your guiding light
after a dream of
a new world oh so dark.
She could feel Regina's lips on the inside of her thighs. Emma's hands were now resting upon Regina's shoulders, her nails digging holes into the older woman's flesh. Regina moaned. Suddenly Emma started feeling very aware of her body, of her existence. She felt so small but she felt like she could reach so high, if only she wanted to.
Hold me
like you have been
lost in the sea for days
and I am your shore
after a collision
against an iceberg oh so cold.
"You don't need anyone to make you feel great. You are beautiful. You are more than enough just being yourself. Learn that, feel that, and you will become so big of a star that the floor will stop keeping you company. Instead, you will have the moon and the sun." Whispered Regina as she placed a soft kiss against Emma's core.
Kiss me
like you have had
nothing to drink for days
and I am your water
after a walk through
the desert oh so dry.
"Aren't you afraid I will get better than you?"
"We can't compare talents, Emma. It would be like saying you feel better than me. And that doesn't make sense." Regina found herself smiling at the question and decided on letting her fingertips tantalize the other woman's core while studying Emma's face. "Words are conventions. People know their meaning and yet writers seem to put so much feeling into the words that we feel it ourselves. But painting and drawing... god, sometimes we don't even show them familiar traces... sometimes all we do is put clouds of paint together. And yet, somehow, that unique arrangement reaches out and touches our humanity in such a way..." Regina increased the pace of her fingertips, feeling Emma was close as her hips started moving with her and Emma's breathing went completely hectic.
"You might feel like you are worth nothing, but if you ever find someone staring at your paintings, at your drawings, so unaware that the world is moving on while hers stops to acknowledge that someone else, someone out there, understands what her blood screams from the inside of her veins... that's when you feel like you were born... to do this."
Take me
like you have been longing for me
since your very first breath
and I am the air that fills your lungs
after a run through
the city oh so quiet.
Emma's arches her back as her heart skips a beat, a wave of pleasure crushing against her naked and now sweaty self. She feels the eternity and sees the infinity. If given the opportunity, she could paint the portrait of the universe without missing a dying star. And that feeling is beyond glorious.
"How..."
"Shhhh." Regina leaned over to place a kiss upon Emma's swollen lips. "Now close your eyes." She said as she let a hand caress Emma's sides, making the young woman sigh softly.
Love me
like you haven't been anything
before we were something
and I am the sun
after the long storm
oh so lonely.
"You are beautiful. Don't you dare to ever forget that." Regina whispered as she felt the breath of the young woman fall into a rhythm.
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Hope you had a good time reading this :) xx
