Journal from a fractured MInd
Chapter 3: Here Comes Forever
Austin
November 3rd, 2017
Ally and I have been dating for over a month now and I couldn't be happier. I love being around her anyway, but adding on the dates and that I can hold her and kiss her anytime I want has been amazing. I love her so much. Our parents are pretty happy that we are finally dating. All of them claim that they knew this would happen one day, that it was clear Ally and I are meant to be together. I don't mind that at all because I agree with them. When we told Dez we were a couple I thought the guy was going to die of happiness. He's been rooting for us since high school. Trish has been really supportive too, but she pulled me aside and warned me that if I ever break Ally's heart she will break me. I take that seriously because I've seen Trish in a bad mood, but it's not going to happen. Nothing short of death will take me out of Ally's life now.
I have a few projects going. First off, I have now determined which of my dreams were memories and which were fantasies. Anything that went further than a simple kiss between Ally and I was definitely fantasy, but I'm still pretty fond of them so I'm not going to forget them anytime soon. And no, I'm not writing the others down in here either. Hopefully I'll make them reality soon. But that's a project for another day.
Second, is the physical therapy. I am almost back to the same weight and muscle mass I had before the accident which is awesome. My energy is up, my leg is almost completely normal, and I am starting to dance again.
Third, I've been working with Jimmy Star again, finishing up the record we were working on before the accident. I'm not ready for any live shows yet, so that is still on hold, but I am working on music which is great. And I have a little troop of paparazzi following me around just like before. Some of them were there for the accident back in March and released some pretty graphic photos of the crash. I try to avoid seeing that stuff if I can. I don't want to live in the past. I'm all about Ally and the future. Ally is supposed to be writing herself some new songs but that's been slow going. She's been focused on helping me, even though I've told her to write herself some new stuff but she says she's not inspired right now and only wants to write for me. I'll have to keep working on that.
Fourth, I've been looking at houses to buy. My parents are great and the house I grew up in has been a good place to crash between tours and things, but it's not my house. I turned 20 two weeks ago and it's time for me to be on my own. The crazy part? I found the house yesterday. And I mean, the house. When I walked into the kitchen there was something familiar about it. Then I saw the master bedroom and the way the light came in the windows and I knew. It's the house from the dream I wrote down. The one where I was married to Ally. I'm taking Ally to see it tonight and if she likes it I'm going to make an offer on it.
. . .
November 20th, 2017
I bought the house. I closed on it this morning and I'm going to move in this weekend. My mom loves the house and wants to decorate it for me. I might let her do a little, like help me hang some pictures and stuff, but there's another woman's touch that I want there. Ally's. She fell in love with the house that first time I took her to see it and it just felt so right to watch her walk around that space. I can see us living here. It has several bedrooms and when I watched Ally there I could almost picture a few kids running around it with her. I know I'm whipped, but I also know that she is it for me and sharing my life with her is going to be the most amazing thing I will ever do.
I've been doing a carpe diem kind of thing. I don't want to waste time or miss out on anything. Life if precious. So last week I went skydiving because I've always wanted to do that. It was awesome! Dez jumped with me. Next time I'll get Ally to come too. Don't know how, but I will.
Then on the weekend I took Ally swimming with Dolphins because it's been a dream of hers. It was pretty cool. And seeing her in the skin tight wetsuit wasn't too bad either! Afterward when we were back on the beach I unzipped my wetsuit and pulled down the top, leaving it hanging down around my waist so my chest was bare and I could soak up some sun. I wasn't even thinking. At first when I caught Ally staring I felt good, happy that she was checking me out too, but then I saw tears forming in her eyes. And I remembered that she hadn't seen my scar yet: the one that runs down the entire left side of my torso from the bottom of my shoulder blade and curves down to my hip. It has healed and faded a little, but it's still clearly there. I grabbed her hand and pulled her closer so I could get her to look in my eyes again. That was tough too because of the pain in them but I had to fix it, to make her feel better. Then she surprised me. She kissed my lips softly and admitted that sometimes she forgets what happened to me because I'm so full of life just like I used to be before the accident. Then she stepped back again and looked at my body calculatingly. She bit her lower lip and ran her fingers lightly down my scar which gave me chills and made me shiver. We laughed together at that and she ran her hands along my chest before slipping her arms around my waist and hugging me tight like she was afraid I would disappear. Eventually we changed back into our regular clothes and I took her home where she turned on a movie and we just held each other and cuddled the rest of the day.
Ally's dad is kind of freaking out that I bought a house and am going to be living alone. With no parental supervision. And his daughter is dating me and will be going there with me. Alone. I shouldn't think it's funny but I do. Mostly because I know about a trip I made to a jewelry store recently and he doesn't. And seriously, doesn't he know Ally at all? She's all about traditional stuff and waiting for marriage and I'm okay with that because I hope to fulfill that requirement as quickly as possible. Like I said: there's no reason to waste time when life can be taken from you so easily. I love Ally. I want to be with her, share everything with her, spend my life with her no matter how long or short it might be.
. . .
December 5th, 2017
We're engaged. I popped the question last night and Ally said yes. She didn't even say anything about her only being 19 like I thought she might. I worried that she would mention her dad, who has gotten really protective lately, or argue or have some excuse that it's too soon. She just threw her arms around me and kissed me and said yes over and over. It is now my favorite word.
She invited me over for Thanksgiving dinner with her parents last month. Ally's mom was in town and her aunt wanted to get everyone together which was interesting. At least no fights broke out or anything, although that might have been fun. Because of that I get Ally on Christmas Eve. We are having dinner with my parents and doing some traditional holiday stuff.
Both of our families have been pretty clingy the last while and they are always trying to do family things way more than they used to. It's different, but not bad. The problem is that I just feel pulled every which way and my time seems more planned out so I can't be as spontaneous as I like. Oh well. At least I know we're loved.
Honestly though, I can't wait to have Ally all to myself. I love our families and Trish and Dez but, ever since I got my memories back and Ally came home, all I want is time with her. Sure, we've been friends for years, but for so long we were unsure of our relationship and how far we could take things without it all falling apart that now that we are together it's all I want. I don't want to lose any more time I could have with her. I hate taking her home after our dates and having to walk away and go home alone. I want to have her next to me every day, to fall asleep wrapped in her arms and watch her wake up in the morning. I want to be the one she comes home to, to know her favorite everything, learn all her quirks and secrets because I'll be with her.
I just want Ally.
. . .
January 20th, 2018
I am a married man and my wife is sexy. I love saying that. No more dreaming necessary because it's reality.
Ally is amazing and we had one of the shortest engagements ever, but she just rolled with it. I don't think she wanted to waste any more time apart either. I love this woman!
We were married on January 15th in a nice simple ceremony on the beach. We didn't make a big deal of it so we just had family and friends there: the people we care about most. Dez was my best man and Trish was the maid of honor. It was perfect having them stand up with us as we made our promises to each other. Word hasn't gotten out to the press yet and maybe it's weird but I love that's it's still like our secret. That won't last but I'll enjoy it while I can. Then I'll flaunt my wife all around the place because Ally Dawson Moon is mine.
We've spent the last 5 days pretty much locked in our house. Yeah. I am a happy man. We both waited for each other, for this moment, and it was worth it. Oh, and I don't know if Ally touched my book or my mom tipped her off, but she has the cutest little black lace nighty. . . you know what I mean. I never told her about those dreams I had about us back in the hospital last year. And now I'm wondering if I saw a glimpse of the future, you know, something to keep me going. I used to think those fantasies were just my imagination or wishful thinking but maybe they were something else. I don't know. That's crazy though, right, seeing the future? But maybe getting that close to death and almost losing everything. . . ?
This afternoon we are catching a flight to Paris for our official honeymoon. I couldn't care less where we go to be honest, but Ally has a thing for France so that's where we're going. She's planned out all this stuff for us to do, all the things she wants to see and whatever. That's cool. I'll go with it because it makes her happy and I'll be with her the whole time which makes me happy. Win win.
. . .
February 1st, 2018
Austin Moon is back! I started all the interviews and publicity stuff for my new record today. It drops next week so I am being interviewed on tv, radio and online stuff almost every day for the next two weeks. After that I have a short tour, just 30 days on the road. If it goes well Jimmy wants to do another short tour at the end of the year. Ally is coming with me of course and will sing a few songs with me during the shows. It should be good. I can't dance quite like I used to, but close enough that no one should notice.
During the morning show I did today they asked about the accident and my recovery and I tried not to make a big deal of it. By now my fans know how I feel about life and taking every moment you have and living to the fullest. I was also asked about my marriage and I got to tell them how amazing my wife is. I've gotten some criticism in the media for marrying so young and there are idiots out there saying that it won't last. They don't know Ally and I, how well we work together, and how much I need her. And I don't care. People can think what they want about us, we know the truth, we know what matters. Twenty, thirty, age doesn't matter when you are with the person who makes you whole.
. . .
July 27th, 2018
I woke up from my coma one year ago today. The year anniversary of my accident happened on tour. Then this morning Ally told me she is pregnant! I can't think of a better way to celebrate being alive.
. . .
July 28th, 2023
K, I suck at this journal thing. I guess I'm just more concerned with living life than documenting it. Ally's written everything down and keeps adding to her small stack of journals. She's the pro at this kind of thing.
It's been six years since the accident. I won't say that it changed my life exactly because it didn't affect my career for long or leave me maimed or whatever. It did help me accelerate my love life though and the last five years being married to Ally have been great. I wouldn't change that for anything. We have a four year old son named Cooper, a two year old daughter named Isabel, and Emma is three months old.
The last song at every one of my concerts is "Do It Without You" and I often bring my family out on stage while I sing it. I don't go anywhere without them and I'm proud of it. Ally still writes my music and sings with me sometimes but she loves being a mom. She's so organized and smart and she's an incredible wife and mother. I don't know how I got so lucky.
Last night I asked Ally if she misses having her own music career and she just kissed me. She told me life is about more than careers and she is happy with where we are and what we are doing. Whenever I travel I take my family with me. Cooper loves the band and is getting into drums, which isn't surprising for a four year old. My biggest fans are at every concert even though they go way past bedtime and sometimes I come back stage to find the four of them asleep in my dressing room. It's cute when Ally is slumped back on the couch with Emma in her arms and Cooper and Isabel tucked into her sides all fast asleep. Just having them there makes everything right.
Now, I'm not trying to be annoying and say that my life is perfect. The house gets messy, pancakes burn when someone is crying, I lose my temper on occasion and Ally worries about how she looks after having three kids. (She's still sexy by the way. That will never change because she's Ally and she's mine.) But that's life. It's the good and the bad and the all the moments in between that make up everything. All that matters is my attitude, and to me, just being alive is a miracle.
. . .
Jan 16th, 2033
We've been cleaning out some things and I rediscovered this journal in a box of books we packed up years ago when we needed to convert our 'office' into another kids room. Wow.
I read through this journal and that was a trip.
Yesterday Ally and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary. It's the one night every year when we have the kids stay with grandparents and we go out and stay somewhere for the night, just the two of us. Last night was nice and really needed since Ally's schedule has gotten busy the last 6 months.
We've traded places now. My career has run its course and while I'm still involved in music I am not a teen heart throb anymore. I really don't mind. I had a great time that I wouldn't trade for anything, but life evolves and changes over time. Now I hang out with the kids while Ally gets a second chance at her career and it's going great for her. I am so proud of her. This may sound weird, but I'm enjoying being on the sidelines and cheering her on for once. She's always been there for me, the least I can do is return the favor. Plus, she's incredible and her voice is better than ever. Her songs are deeper, more meaningful now, with all of our experiences and time spent living.
And we have lived. We have 5 children: Cooper, Isabel, Emma, Drew and Luke. Cooper is 14 now and little Luke is just 5 years old. We've traveled all over the country together and been to Mexico and the Caribbean. It's been a blast so far and there is only more fun to come. We are heading to Australia next month. I've always wanted to go there on vacation, not tour, so I could explore and relax and really enjoy myself.
Watching the kids grow up and figure out who they are and what they want to do is incredible. Of course, in our house they are all exposed to music early because it's what Ally and I do, but they aren't expected to follow in our footsteps. It's fun to watch them do other things. Cooper (14) has discovered soccer and girls and seems to love them equally at the moment. He's on the school team and that keeps him busy and out of trouble most of the time. Isabel (12) loves clothes and often begs to go shopping with Aunt Trish and her daughters. Emma (10) is into school and makes me think of a mini Ally who loves science. Drew (7) is in first grade and is obsessed with trucks and playing outside in the sand pit and digging up our garden. It's impossible to keep the kid clean. Luke (5) is still little but he's smart and wants to keep up with his big brother Drew. He tries to count and repeat the letters and words that Drew is learning at school. There's a little competition there, but they get along pretty well most of the time.
Trish is married now and has two daughters. They live nearby and we get together a lot. Her husband is pretty cool, but he's no Dez. I don't think I'll ever have a best friend like that again.
Dez is busy making blockbuster movies so he travels a lot. Technically he still has a house in Miami but he's only here part of the year. The rest of the time he and his supermodel wife are off on location somewhere. They have one little boy named Ethan. He, Drew and Luke are quite the trio when we get together which isn't often enough. But I'm happy for him. He's doing what he loves and is good at it. Can't ask for more than that.
Looking back on my life, thinking about things in this book and everything not in here, it's been good. I wouldn't change anything, not even the accident that almost took me out at 19 years old. It's part of my experience, it shaped a time in my life and affected my opinions and attitudes. I could even say my life would be different today if it hadn't happened. So, even though it sucked to go through, I wouldn't change it or anything else that followed, both good and bad. It's all part of my life and got me to this place with Ally and my kids and I don't want anything else.
Life is an incredible adventure.
. . .
The End (of this story)
So, there you have it friends - that's it for this little journey. I truly hope you liked it. I've appreciated all the great reviews you've sent my way - every single one makes me smile and all the support keeps me writing. Now I'm off to finish my multi-chap Blindsided. Check it out too. I know, I'm shameless ;)
The more you review, the better I get and the more stories I write. Please let me know what you think, even if you discover this years after I first posted it, I want to hear what you think! love you guys!
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