Because every Exorcixst needs at least one facade. And he was the very best.

Frivolous

Frivolous~ The state of being self-indulgently carefree; unconcerned or lacking any serious purpose; given to trifling or undue levity.

This word describes you perfectly, Master.

To one who does not know you as I, or for as long as I have, this one adjective seems perfectly synonymous with your attitude and nature. With your very being.

But no one, not Claud, Froi, Anita, or even Allen know you well enough to understand anything beyond the frivolity. There is a reason you indulge in all the pleasures of the world. The indulgences serve a purpose.

Once upon a time you were told that you could help save the world. They thought that the role of a hero would be enough for you, as it has been for so many others. And it was enough. At first.

After years of thankless service you decided that things had to change. After years of staring the despairing ugliness of humanity in the face you wanted to see the loveliness. You needed beauty. You deserved beauty. In exchange for your service as a soldier the world would be your oyster.

Every Exorcist needs an outlet in order to cope with the war; some cry, some talk, become masochists or sadists, and a rare few are truly content with being 'heroes.' You became the epitome of frivolity, a modern day Marie Antoinette. It is a well deserved state of being, after all. What is money or a few nights with someone's wife in comparison to the public service you provide as a hero of the world? It is only fair, really.

You are frivolous because that luxury is your right. You are frivolous because their favors are such an insignificant price. You are frivolous because only in that lifestyle will you ever see or experience beauty. You are frivolous because if you are not you might break.

The only problem is that no one else sees it this way.

Don't they know that this is how you keep from breaking beyond repair? Don't they know that this is the only way that you can feel human and loved- if only for a night?

Humans are a naturally tactile species, needing touch almost as much as anything else. And working in a world where everyone is to be regarded as a potential Akuma and there is always a distance between comrades because they so frequently die… don't they understand that your frivolous behavior is the only way you can satisfy your needs as such an exceptionally tactile creature? Don't they understand that your frivolity is the only thing keeping you sane?

If you consume enough expensive liqueur and perfectly distilled wine you can forget the blissfully ignorant life you had before you learned of Akuma, and Innocence, and Noah. If you lie, cheat, con, and take enough from those ignorant, happy, normal, human fools then you might be able to ignore that you are actually nothing more than their slave.

You'll forever take advantage of the Church, both its wealth and its prestige, as much as you can because, after everything is said and done, haven't you earned it? And haven't they earned every ounce of trouble you cause them in the process and more? Hasn't your servitude given you the right to such excesses? After all, you are not frivolous because you wish to be, per se, but because you must be. You are frivolous because it is the only way you know how to survive.

Let them think you an immoral, thoughtless, selfish bastard. Let them think whatever they will. Let them think you nothing more than frivolous because, at least then, they will not know that you are silently falling apart beside them.