A/N: Thank you guys so, so much for your reviews! You all make this worth it, and feedback is really helping me get this story going! Keep reviewing!
Chapter 5: Never Say Never
Raegan's POV
The ride home with Paul wasn't as awkward as it was going to the mall. I practically begged Emily to sit in the front so I could sit in the back, which confused her and made her a bit disappointed. When Paul saw me buckle myself in the backseat, an expression of hurt flashed across his features, and I immediately felt guilty. "Thank you so much, Aunt Emily. For everything. You have no idea how much this means to me." I said emotionally. She turned around and squeezed my knee, replying that it was no problem. Suddenly, I got the courage to thank Paul too, his hurt-puppy look too much for me to bear. "And, t-thank you Paul. It was fun." I said quietly. A smile danced across his face, and for a minute, the guilty weight was relieved.
For a split second, I felt happy that he was happy. What the hell? Why was I happy that he was happy? We…We weren't even really friends! "So, are you excited to go to school, Raegan?" Paul asked, a bit of nervousness in his tone. "Oh, yeah, um, I guess. It's just school, you know?" I replied, mentally slapping myself for sounding like such a stuttering idiot. "Well, you should definitely get involved in some extra curriculars. I know when you were younger you really liked gymnastics and stuff, always doing roundoffs or cartwheels. They have a cheerleading team, maybe you want to go out for that! Oh, and Kim, Jared's…girlfriend…she plays soccer. You could do that. They also have a book club, you love reading! And-"
Tuning out the sound of my aunt's voice, I thought about what she said. Cheerleading? I was constantly harassed by the cheerleaders at my old school. But, this was a new beginning, I was in a new atmosphere where people didn't know me, I had clothes that weren't from a clothing drive or the Salvation Army, and they didn't have to know about my horrible past. Maybe, even if I didn't do cheerleading, I could take Aunt Emily's advice, and really start participating. Plus, if I wanted to get any form of scholarship for college, I really needed to start getting involved. I had the grades, but it took more than that.
"You know, Aunt Emily, t-that's a really good idea. I'm going to do orchestra, but I should join a club and a sport, too. Paul, what do you suggest?" I asked, shocking myself that I asked for his opinion at all. He seemed somewhat shocked too. "W-Well, um, the La Push girl's soccer team is pretty good. Our cheerleading team, or squad, or whatever it's called, is okay too. And they have, like, um…they have student council, and book club, like Emily said, and they have the robotics club, and media club. I don't really know much else, I'm not a, you know, big club person or anything." Paul explained sheepishly. Emily laughed. "What Paul's saying is that he's not a school person in general." She said with a chuckle, making Paul glare at her from the corner of his eye. "I, um, would really like to get involved and stuff, for college. So maybe I'll do orchestra, robotics, media club, and I can try out for soccer and cheerleading." I replied. Emily raised an eyebrow at me. "Raegan, don't you think that's a bit, I don't know, much? You should set some time for yourself, sweetie." She said, sounding concerned.
I internally scoffed. Having to pay bills since middle school, work, go to school, and keep child protective services away from my mom taught me one thing: multitasking. Clubs, sports, and school would be nothing. "Well, I really want a nice, fresh start. I didn't really have the opportunity to do too much at my old school in South Dakota." I said quietly, but confidently. I saw Paul looked slightly taken back in the rearview mirror. "What do you mean? You…You didn't join clubs in your last school?" he asked. Emily tensed, and I blushed horrendously. "Um, I-I really didn't have the time."
"Why?"
Emily, luckily stepped in to save the day. "Raegan was working really hard on her studies, right kiddo?" she said. I nodded, still feeling embarrassed. Paul must have caught on, and he raked a nervous hand through his short, dark hair. "I'm, uh, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. That wasn't my intention." He stated seriously. I waved him off, wearing a fake smile to show him I wasn't bothered.
We finally got home, and Paul made some weird excuse about having to go to 'work'. Emily muffled a laugh, and I knew there was probably some inside joke about what he said that I wasn't getting. Taking my shopping bags and my new violin in to my room, I went back to the kitchen where Emily was starting to cook dinner. "Aunt Emily?"
"Yes?"
"Why do you want me to be friends with Paul so badly?"
She turned to look at me, struggling to find words to say. "Look, Raegan, Paul…Paul is really looking for a friend. And I figure you could use one as well. Why do you ask?"
"Just curious. Aunt Emily?"
"Mhhm?"
"Do you really think if I do that many extra-curriculars, it will be too much?"
She closed her eyes, and wore a cautious smile. "Raegan, I know that you have had to carry a lot of responsibilities, since Sandra wasn't able to. You didn't have the opportunity to be a kid, and I want to make sure you get that here. Don't feel like you have to carry the world on your shoulders. You don't have to join every club in the school to get into college, and you don't need to join any in order to win my praise. Because I'm already so proud of you, Rae. I want to make sure you are able to be a regular teenager." She explained, care dripping on every word.
I was so touched, and overall knocked off of my feet, I wrapped her in a hug. She quickly embraced me back. Suddenly, the front door opened, and Sam walked to the kitchen. "Whoa, what happened here?" he said, a smile on his usually stern face.
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Sam, Emily's husband, kind of scared me.
I don't really know why, he seemed really nice, and Aunt Emily loved him to bits, and he showed that he loved her too, possibly even more.
But he kind of looked like Jesse.
He had a really stern, scary looking face, and he was really huge. You could tell he was a serious guy, and that he didn't take crap from anyone. Jesse didn't take crap from anyone, either.
Sam smiled warmly at me. "I'm happy to see that you've finally come around, Raegan. Your Aunt was really worried you wouldn't." he said happily. I blushed, shrinking away from Emily's hug. "Y-Yeah, well, I guess it was about time." I laughed nervously, probably sounding like a complete idiot. "Well, I don't know if you are interested, but there's a bonfire tonight, and like always, we are all invited. Would you like to come, Raegan?" he asked gently. I nodded my head, not wanting to refuse.
I got dressed in one of my new outfits, which was dark wash skinny jeans, a purple Aeropostale hoodie, and a pair of grey Converse sneakers. I left my hair down, my natural dark waves reaching the middle of my back.
Emily, Sam and I headed out, both of them complimenting my new outfit (despite it being casual) and we arrived at a place called First Beach. Since it was evening, the sun was starting to set, and a beautiful swirl of colors cast over the sky, looking like a painting. I jumped out of the car and helped Emily carry the several aluminum pans of food, and we walked towards a tent looking structure.
The closer we got, the more I realized it consisted of everyone I saw more than a week ago, the first day I arrived here. Seth ran over to me, taking two pans off my hands. "Hey! Nice to see you could make it, cuz! I was hoping you would!" he exclaimed happily. I couldn't keep the smile off my face, his childlike attitude was so entertaining. "Hey, Seth. Who else is here? Not that I really know anyone, but whatever…" I trailed off. He let out a booming laugh, and started making hand gestures to point out who everyone was, pointing out all the couples, a cousin I apparently had named Claire, the Elders, and the people to avoid, which was basically Leah and a girl named Bella. "Is…Is Paul here?" I asked shyly. He looked up at me with a smirk. "Yup. Why are you asking? Does someone have a crush?" he asked sneakily, dragging out 'crush'. I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help the blush on my cheeks.
Seth led me to the group, introducing me although I had seen them before. "She lives!" a guy Seth told me was Embry, said dramatically. I blushed, he must have been talking about me locking myself in my room the last week. "Knock it off, Embry. I'm Kim. I heard from Emily you are gonna try out for the school soccer team!" she exclaimed. I nodded, still a bit uncomfortable. "Well, good, we could totally use a better offense. Our last girl quit." She said with a laugh.
Soon, Kim and I were talking like the girls I would see in movies, giggling at the antics of the guys and talking about school. I really hoped we would be friends. We were both juniors, along with Seth, and two boys named Collin and Brady. She even invited me to sit with her. Soon, a man named Billy told us to gather around the fire to hear the legends.
I sat down next to Jared and Kim, as they held hands and kissed like the couples I would read about in all my books, and I couldn't help but feel slightly envious. Jared looked at Kim like she was his only reason for living, like she was the most beautiful girl in existence. I kind of wished someone looked at me like that.
Suddenly, the log I was sitting on grew heavier, and I noticed a huge shadow. Looking up, I saw that Paul had sat down next to me. "Hey," he whispered, a smirk on his face. I smiled back in spite of myself. "Are you hungry?" he asked, and I nodded. Grabbing my hand, he took me underneath the tents, where there were pans and pans filled with hot dogs and burgers, chips, and other foods. I went for the salad and a hamburger. Looking at Paul's plate, I kind of wondered if he was starved at home, since he took huge amounts of everything, having to carry it on two separate plates and towered to the max. We both headed back over to the bonfire, and taking a seat, I started to pick at my salad. Meanwhile, Paul ate like t"What?" he asked with his mouth full, making me laugh. He smiled at me, and continued to chow down on his…meal. Suddenly, I heard a sarcastic, mean laugh. "Aw, Raegan! How nice of you to join us. I see you ditched your anorexic tendencies for actual big girl food. How inspiring!" said the nasty, mean voice I realized was Leah. I blushed, turning my attention away from her, trying to ignore her hurtful words. Paul…growled…next to me, his frame shaking. What the hell? "Get the hell out of here, Leah, God! Stop being such a colossal bitch!" he yelled in his deep, rough voice, making me tremble in the fear of his anger. She laughed with a roll of her eyes. "Aw, what, someone's a little offended because I insulted their little girlfriend? Aw, Paul, that's too cute. Why don't you tell her, Paul? Tell her the truth?" she said with a mean chuckle. Paul's frame shook even more if that was possible, and I started to grow more afraid. Deciding to test something, I placed my small hand on his arm, holding it there until he stopped shaking. Leah looked absolutely livid, but I continued to keep my hand there. "It's okay, Paul. It's okay." I whispered. He turned to look at me, his eyes wide, and Leah huffed. "L-Leah, I think it's time for you to go." I said quietly. Much to my surprise, she turned around and left.
"Thank you, Raegan. For calming me down." He said quietly. "No big thing. She knows just how to get under people's skin, doesn't she?" I replied, a small reassuring smile on my face. He smiled brightly, and just as he was about to say something, Billy began to tell the stories.
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The stories were actually really interesting. I really liked history, so as Billy skillfully passed down these oral heirlooms, I couldn't help but wonder how people came up with such ideas. Perhaps wolves were very common in La Push, and the ancestors decided to try to spin it into a story.
"So, did you like them?" Paul asked, his eyes hopeful. I nodded. "They were really cool. Your ancestors must have had big imaginations." I said honestly. He laughed, and I had a feeling it was one of the infamous inside jokes so many of these people down in La Push had. "Well, it's getting late, I should probably try and find Aunt Emily and Sam." I said nervously, but he kept staring at me. Growing wary, I snapped my fingers in front of his face, and I caught his attention. "Um…Paul? I-I said I need to go." I said quietly. He nodded, and just as I was about to turn away, he grabbed my hand. "Raegan?" he asked. I nodded. "Can I…Can I give you a hug?"
Unsure, I nodded slowly with questioning eyes, I stepped closer to him, and he wrapped his huge, muscular arms around me, having to bend down to reach since he was so much taller than I. After a few minutes, I started to grow tense, and pulled away. "W-Well, I had a good time. Bye!" I said hurriedly, scurrying off to find my guardians.
Not really paying attention to where I was going, I bumped right into a hard body. "Ugh," I groaned. The figure helped me up, and I realized it was Sam. "You alright there?" he asked seriously. I nodded, still kind of cautious since he intimidated me a lot. He grinned, and we headed back to the car. "Where's Aunt Emily?" I asked quietly. "She's talking to Billy. But I actually want to talk to you about something." He stated. Climbing in the back seat, and he in the driver's seat, he turned towards me. "I don't want you to tell your aunt I told you." He said seriously. Trusting and fearful, I nodded, gulping nervously. He took a deep breath. "Emily…Emily told me about your mom and Jesse."
I froze, but then quickly shook it off. I had a feeling she would tell him, and even though I felt a little hurt she didn't exactly keep our promise. "…Oh…"
"Yeah…don't be mad, she was just really upset, and I caught her on the internet and researching on how to handle…the situation."
I took a breath and ran a shaky hand through my hair, nodding. "Well, I can't really be mad."
"What?"
"I mean, you're her husband. It would have come out sooner or later." I said quietly. He smiled slightly, but then grew back to being serious. "Raegan, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry you had to go through all that. But know that that will never happen again, and you don't need to be afraid. Especially not of me."
I looked at him, slightly bewildered. "Huh?"
"I realize that I'm a male…and I can look intimidating, but I would never do anything like that. My dad…my dad used to beat on my mom a lot before he ran off. I wouldn't ever hurt anyone like that. On purpose." He explained. I nodded, kind of thankful that he shared something that personal with me, now that he knew my whole life story. "And…you know…anything that we can do to make you more comfortable here…I'd be happy to do….I mean, I know I'm a guy, but you are Emily's niece and now in our care, so whatever makes you happy….I mean, I even buy Emily tampons, when it's that time of month…" he stammered, making me giggle at his words. "Don't worry Sam, I won't ask you to do anything like that." I said with a smile. Letting out a deep breath, he laughed. "Good."
When we got home, I collapsed in my bed, absolutely exhausted from the day. Shopping, spending time with Paul and Emily, going to the bonfire, the brief altercation with Leah, Seth teasing me about a crush I don't think I have, Sam sharing a really important piece of information with me, and Paul giving me the most loving hug I ever had invaded my thoughts the rest of the night.
A/N: That's it for Chapter 5! Review, review, review!
