A/N: On with chapter 8, folks! Review, review, review!
Chapter 8: I Got
Raegan's POV
The first day of school had gone by smoothly, overall, and Emily and I even made cupcakes in celebration of my new beginnings.
The next three weeks were pleasant as well, and it was hard to believe I had been staying with Aunt Emily and Sam for almost a month. Kim and I became really good friends, and we even acted like the girls I was always jealous of on TV, having sleepovers and doing our homework together, gossiping (mostly on her part) and giggling at the attractive guys in the latest magazines. Seth, Collin and Brady were like brothers to me, annoying, but overall awesome to be around. The rest of the guys and I got along really well, and I was slowly but surely making the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly. Aunt Emily, Sam and I acted like a real family, eating almost every meal together, and even playing Monopoly and watching movies together. I was really opening up around them; my original discomfort around Sam quickly ended as I saw how he treated my aunt, and I realized he was a very good man. Leah didn't really come around anymore, and I was honestly concerned, but no one made a show of missing her, so I kept my curiosity to myself.
I was doing great in school, and soccer and cheerleading tryout were nearing by the day. Kim and I planned to try out for both teams, constantly practicing moves and tricks and cheers in my backyard or my room. I was 1st chair in orchestra, which everyone was extremely proud of me for. I even joined media club and robotics like I said. My schedule was going to be hectic, I knew that, but it was worth it. My cutting was even decreasing, and I only felt the urge in the morning and before bed. I never imagined my life would be so perfect.
Then, there was Paul. Paul didn't feel like family to me. I always felt a strange pull to him, and that confused me because never in my life had I felt such a connection with anyone. He was always around me, which I didn't mind at all because I became much more comfortable with him. I was still timid around physical displays of affection, which I realized offended Paul at times, but I always tried to assure him it was me, not him. He would always look hurt when I would shy away from him, but it made the realization clear that despite the drastic changes to my life, I was always going to be damaged goods.
And that hurt me. A lot.
Hurting Paul's feelings was something I unconsciously did often, and I didn't know how to stop it. He told me I was his best friend, and although I reciprocated the feeling, it scared me. I knew nothing about maintaining a friendship, and what if he found out about what happened in South Dakota? Would he still want to be my friend? I knew it hurt him when I wouldn't hug him or let him put his arm around me, even though it was just friendly, and I knew it aggravated him to no end when he would ask about my mom or what it was like in SD, and I would quickly change the topic or ignore him. But I couldn't help it. I wanted to grasp onto what we had for as long as it could go.
Another thing that scared me was my feelings for Paul. I had no idea if he liked me more than a friend, but I knew that sometimes, I would get feelings about him. Noticing his handsome and god-like physique, or his kind, gentle ways when he was around me were not 'friend' thoughts. I was desperately trying to push them away, but it was becoming harder and harder as we spent more time with each other.
It was the night of Halloween. I had never celebrated any holidays before, since no one in my house would (except for this one time on Christmas, my mom gave me 10 dollars to order a pizza), and I was excited. Emily, Kim, and I had gone to a costume store and picked out what we were going to wear. Emily was going as a football player (much to my amusement), Kim had gone for a more risqué look and decided to be a slutty cop. I'm not even lying, that's what it said on the costume description. And I decided to dress up as Jane from Tarzan. Because guess who willingly volunteered to be the ape-like counterpart?
Paul!
I was practically shaking from anticipation as Paul drove me home from robotics club, an amused smile on his face as I jumped up and down in the passenger squeal. "Is someone a little excited?" he asked, and I let out a squeal as I clasped my hands together. "YES!" I exclaimed, laughing giddily as I thought of all the things that would be in store for the evening. Emily had planned a Halloween party, and then after (despite everyone's complaint of being too old), she said I could go trick-or-treating! He laughed as I stared out the window in a dreamy way, observing all the Halloween decorations on the small houses around the reservation. "I hope they give me candy when I go to the houses." I sighed happily. Paul's eyebrows furrowed together, something he only seemed to do when he was confused about something I said. "Why wouldn't they?"
"I'm a little old to celebrate Halloween."
Paul's hands clenched the steering wheel tightly. "They are going to give you candy whether they like it or not." He growled. Despite Paul's obvious tension about the subject (subject being it would make me sad, making Paul angry), I still smiled dreamily out the window.
When Paul pulled into the driveway, I practically hurtled myself out of his truck and ran into the house. "Hey, sweetie, you should start getting your costume on soon, the little kids will be coming around soon. It's almost 6." She said, sensing my excitement. With a squeal of absolute joy, I sprinted to my room and put on my costume.
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Paul's POV
I've never seen Raegan so happy. She was absolutely tickled at the idea of celebrating Halloween, and I couldn't help but join her excitement for the celebration, and be slightly envious of her innocence. I barely took the key out of the ignition before I saw my imprint bounce out of the car with unbelievable speed; her petite little body jumping up and down as she ran, her dark hair flowing behind her.
As soon as I stepped into the house, I heard Raegan squeal again, and my emotions swam with my undying love for her. Emily approached me as she put up decorations for the Halloween party, a bright smile on her face. "It must be nice seeing her so happy, isn't it?" she asked with a content sigh. I nodded hurriedly. "Emily, you have no idea how great I feel. She's so…"
"Elated?"
"Yes, that's it exactly. And it's just even though we've been getting closer, I've been trying to ask her more questions about her home life in South Dakota, and she won't answer. It's frustrated me to no end."
With that, Emily frowned, and ran a hand through her hair. I was practically begging her for answers, even though I wasn't actually begging. "Please, Emily, help me."
"I can't tell you things Raegan doesn't want you to know!"
"Please, just give me something. My mind has been eating away at this for days now and I'm lost!"
Emily finally gave in, but not happily. "Paul, please, all I can tell you to do is be patient. Raegan didn't have as many liberties as we did when we were little. She didn't get to be a kid like we did, and that's all I'm going to tell you. Now stop persisting and let her tell you in her own time, she's already opened up to you more than we thought she would."
What? What did that mean? "Is it because she's from South Dakota?"
"What?! What does that even mean, Paul?"
"I don't know, like maybe people in South Dakota have a different way of life or something…listen, I'm trying okay!"
"Paul, it has nothing to do with being from South Dakota! She had a difficult home life, okay?! Jesus!"
Emily, rolling her eyes, obviously annoyed with me, and walked away. "Difficult home life?" I thought to myself. "Now I'm even more confused!"
Suddenly, I heard Raegan's voice and Emily take in a deep breath. Practically running to the kitchen, I almost fell on my face from stopping so abruptly.
She looked absolutely breathtaking. In a yellow, 1800's style dress with a white collar, purple kerchief tied around her neck, elbow length white gloves, and brown flats, she looked like something that came right out of a time machine. Her hair was done up in a bun, but a few wavy strands of hair hung in her face. She was wearing the smallest amount of makeup, but it was barely noticeable. She wore an excited, yet shy smile, as she twirled around so we could get a better view. "S-So, whaddya think?" she asked timidly. Emily smirked and said something I didn't hear, when suddenly I realized my name was being said repeatedly as I gawked at her. "So, what do you think, Paul?" Emily asked teasingly. Wiping my mouth in effort to make sure no drool was coming out, I dumbly nodded my head. "Y-You look…you look absolutely stunning." I whispered truthfully. Raegan's face turned a bright shade of red, but a small smile tugged at her lips. She continued to stare into my eyes as I melted into her blue-green orbs, before I heard a cough. "Can I trust you two to pass out candy to the kids?" Emily asked, a sneaky smile still on her face. We both nodded, and I headed to the bathroom to change into my costume.
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Raegan's POV
I couldn't believe how good Paul looked in his costume. It wasn't really much of a costume, all it consisted of was a pair of brown, ripped up looking Bermuda shorts. He didn't wear a shirt, so his strong abs and muscles were open to the public eye. I must have been gaping, because Paul cleared his throat at me, a playful smirk on his face. "Like what you see?" he asked, flexing his muscle. Gulping, I rolled my eyes in effort to play it cool when in reality, I was freaking out. Why the heck was he so hot! Finally, after what seemed like forever, the doorbell rang.
"Trick or treat!" yelled a group of kids in different costumes, probably around 7 years old. Excited, I swiveled around and fell right into Paul's abs, much to my embarrassment. His large, strong arms wrapped around mine as he steadied me. I gulped down a lump in my throat, and moved around him to get the bucket of candy. The kids yelled and tried to get in front of each other as I threw candy into their plastic pumpkins, and after a few minutes, they left the front porch.
Still recovering my awkward Paul-confrontation (yes, that's what I was calling it), I proceeded to hand out candy to several groups of kids, before I realized it was 8 o'clock, and the party was going to start any minute.
Almost in one big group, everyone showed up within seconds of each other, including Leah. I was actually happy to see she was still alive since I was having my doubts, and welcomed her in. With a glare, she muttered something under her breath that made Paul seethe in anger, before I assured him I was not bothered by whatever she said. The party was really starting to go, and everyone started to eat and talk. Kim and I spoke for a few minutes before Jared asked to steal her away, and they started making out on the couch, he obviously liked the idea of his girlfriend being a slutty cop.
Leaning on the counter as I watched Collin, Brady, and Seth argue about what movie was better, Fast and the Furious or Terminator, I felt a colossal hand on my shoulder. Somewhat startled, I spun around to see Paul with a happy expression on his face. "Ready to go trick-or-treating?" he asked. I quickly grabbed my pillow case and nodded excitedly. The moment I've been waiting for all night had finally arrived! We started to make our way out the door, when Paul yelled. "See you guys later, Raegan and I are going candy hunting!" he shouted, making everyone turn their attention away from what they were doing.
"Have fun!"
"Stay safe!"
"Make sure they give you the good candy!"
"Bring me back some almond joys!"
And then, we heard the voice that hadn't spoken all night. A snarky laugh, Leah smirked menacingly. "Trick-or-treating? How old are you, five?" she asked, a nasty, sarcastic tone to her words. Suddenly feeling embarrassed, I blushed terribly. Everyone was silent, gaping at Leah's rudeness. "Wait, so you're seriously going? Oh my God! Paul, are you aware that your little girlfriend is a child?" she said with another cold laugh. Paul's trembling was worsening by the second, when Emily stepped in. "Leah, you and I have spoken about this, that type of behavior is not tolerated here. You are welcome to leave." Emily said sharply. Leah just laughed, waving her off as if she wasn't even there. "Oh please, Emily, why don't you take your little rules and regulations and shove them up your ass." She growled.
Now, I don't show my anger very much, and I never, ever confront anyone. Growing up in an abusive household does that to you, but suddenly, something snapped in me as my aunt's face contorted into one of hurt. "You know what Leah, I'm not sure what I did to you that made you act like this towards me, but whatever it is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you spend all your time hating life and everyone else; hating people who you barely know. I feel very, very bad for you." I barked. A gasp went around the room, obviously not expecting what I said, even though I didn't either. Leah was trembling just like Paul, but she still wore that cunning smile on her face. "Oh, really? You feel bad for me? Trust me, you are the only one around here that deserves any pity. Why don't you go tell them about South Dakota, Raegan?"
I froze at her words, my face paling drastically. There was no way she could have known. Had someone told her? Was she only saying that because she wanted to get to me? Either way, I had stormed out of the house, hitching up my dress so I wouldn't have to fall. From a distance, I heard light running after me. "Raegan, wait! Wait up!" said the voice I knew was Paul. I stalled, and he caught up with me at lightning speed. "Raegan, Raegan, I'm so sorry. I don't know why she said that. It was a terrible and mean thing for her to do." He whispered, anger lacing his words, but he was trying. "It's okay. I don't care." I whispered. He grabbed my hand gently, caressing it with his own abnormally warm one. "I'm serious. I really don't know what her possessed her to do the things she did, but I will assure you one thing. I'm not going to ask you about what she said."
My eyes widened, I was sure that he was going to! He had been for weeks! "W-What?" I stammered. His eyes, looking slightly pained, bore into mine. "When you are ready, you will tell me, if you choose to do so. But I'm not going to pressure you into telling me anymore." He explained.
And at that moment, I didn't care about what Leah said about me, I didn't care about the possibility that someone had told her of my past, I didn't care about anything. Except for Paul.
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Trick or treating was great. Paul held my hand lightly and my treat sack as I went to different houses all over the neighborhood. Some people gave me weird looks, but after one glance at Paul, they would usually submit and give me their candy. One lady, who had made a snarky comment about my age, threw all the candy she had in the pillow case after Paul growled at her. But overall, it was a great night. I had tons of fun, and I was exhausted. "Paul?" I asked tiredly.
"Yeah?"
"Why are you so hot in temperature? You always feel like a furnace when I'm around you."
Paul looked at me with an expression of fear, but quickly covered it up. "It's hereditary." He said briefly. My eyes narrowed. "And why do you always shake when you're angry?"
"Hereditary."
I nodded, is this how it felt when I wouldn't answer Paul's questions about SD? "Well, you should probably go to a doctor about that, shouldn't you? I mean, it can't be healthy."
"I'll take that into consideration."
"Well, have you ever gone to see someone about it before? I mean, it could be-"
"Jesus, just drop it, will you?! Here we are, having a good time, and you come at me with all your stupid little questions. Take a hint."
Hurt beyond words, my eyes welled up with tears. Paul yanked his hand out of our light hold and shoved it into the pocket of his shorts. "I'm sorry-"
"Just don't, okay? Please. Save it, I don't care. Just know that I will only tell you my secrets when you tell me yours. That's the way its going to work."
A tear slid down my cheek. He just said he would wait until I was ready to tell him! He glanced over at me, and his stone hard face softened. "Aw, Raegan, shit. I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry." He said softly, wiping the tear from my face with the pad of his thumb. I simply nodded, forgiving him completely. "You're right, I shouldn't have persisted, I'm sorry."
"Don't be, you were curious. I'm sorry for acting like a douschebag."
At that, I smiled at him. And he smiled back. Suddenly, a bolt of electricity ran up my hand as he held it again, this time, more caressingly. Taking a step closer to me, he licked his lips, and continued forward until there were only a few centimeters of space.
Oh my God, Paul Lahote was going to kiss me.
Anticipating his lips on mine, I closed my eyes and braced myself for it.
But it never came.
Because when I opened my eyes, he was gone.
A/N: Oooooh?! Where did Paul go? Was he going to kiss her? Review and I will have a chapter up immediately!
