A/N: Here is chapter 9 y'all! Yay! Keep reviewing, it churns the chapters out faster!
Chapter 9: I Swear This Time I Mean It
Raegan's POV
I was absolutely miserable.
Never in my short 16 years had I felt more alone.
It had been a week since Halloween.
It had been a week since the almost kiss thing.
It had been a week since Paul last spoke to me.
I didn't understand. What did I do wrong? I mean, it's not like he had kissed me and I didn't kiss back or anything. If anything, I allowed him to make the first move. I stood there like an idiot with my eyes closed.
The other part of me that wasn't sad was kind of angry. Had it been a prank? Did he do it out of spite or did he do it just because at the time, he thought it would be funny? Had he just been fooling me the whole entire time?
Were we ever friends?
He had come by Aunt Emily's every day, although I'm not sure why, since my aunt and Sam were both completely furious when I came home, shivering, by myself. He didn't look the well-off either, huge dark circles were under his eyes, and his normally glowing tan skin had paled to an almost unhealthy state. I tried to speak to him the first few days, but he wouldn't even look at me, so I gave up. If he didn't want to speak to me, I wouldn't speak to him either.
And to make things worse, my cutting had increased in the last week. I was now cutting about 5 or 6 times a day. I guess not being around Paul was more damaging then I thought.
It was a regular school day of being ignored by Paul, having my ear talked off by Kim, and hearing the playful fights among Collin, Brady, and Seth. I was in psychology, when I felt someone tap my shoulder. Looking over, I saw that it was the endlessly annoying Tyler Cross, who had been sending me countless amounts of notes in this class. I never read them, but out of pity I would throw them out when I got home so he wouldn't find them in the school garbage. "Yes?" I whispered, trying not to sound agitated. He smiled kind of oddly, and I couldn't help but be creeped out. "Hey, what are you doing tonight?" he asked. I tried not to scoff at him. "Um, nothing."
"Do you want to see that new horror movie that came out in Port Angeles? I hear its really good."
I smiled, I kind of felt bad for him. I mean, sure he was annoying, but his persistence was kind of sad. "Look, Tyler…"
"Please? Just one date? And if you want to leave early, I won't hold it against you."
I was right about to say something when he grinned. "Good! So I will pick you up at 7. See you then!"
Utterly confused, I just nodded. Did I just get my first date ever?
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The rest of the school had gone by pretty quickly. I had lunch with the group as I always did, with the exception of Paul, who hadn't sat with us since the Halloween incident. However, when I told them about my date, it didn't exactly go as planned.
Flashback:
Kim smiled at me as I announced I had some news. Clearing my throat, I was hoping that even though I didn't like Tyler Cross in that way at all, they would be happy I was asked out. "T-Tyler Cross asked me out today."
The smiles around the table quickly faded, and disappointed frowns surrounded me. What the hell? "…Oh…"
"Well, um, congrats…."
"…Um…"
Confused and frustrated, I pouted. Weren't friends supposed to be supportive of things like this? "Why aren't you guys happy about this?" I asked quietly. Kim gave me a sad smile, and patted my hand. "Nothing's wrong with Tyler…"
"It's just that, you know…"
"He's just…."
"What?" I kind of snapped. I mean, I know I didn't like Tyler, but it was still kind of a nice thing, to be asked out. Seth sent me a semi-glare. "You aren't honestly thinking of going, are you?" he said in a disbelieving tone. I was starting to really get mad now, who did they think they were? "Y-Yes, I think I will." I said defiantly. My friends merely just stared at me, and whispers that I couldn't comprehend were distributed amongst the table. Kim sent me a pitiful glance, and my face flushed. "I thought you would at least be happy for me. Whatever, I have class." I sighed, leaving the table, my friends staring after me.
*End Flashback
I was now sitting on the living room sofa, waiting patiently for Tyler to come pick me up. I decided to go casual, since I planned to tell him he was a 'good guy' at the end of the night. I wore a white collared button up, and a coral pink cardigan on top, wearing dark was skinny jeans and pink ballet flats, and the lightest bit of lip gloss. Finally, I saw a crappy looking car pull into the driveway. Emily walked in, wearing the sad smile she had been displaying since I told her I was going on a date. "Your date is here," she said with a sigh. I could tell she was trying to be happy for me, but she, like everyone else, seemed disappointed. With a nod, I walked outside, since he didn't bother going to the door.
Opening the rusty door to the Volkswagen, I gave him a light smile. "Hey, you look hot." He stated bluntly. I blushed, and wiped some of the hair away from my face. "Um, t-thanks." I muttered. He swung his arm over my seat, and grinned at me. "So, I was thinking, this new monster movie just came out…."
And that's when he lost me. I stared at the window, nodding along to whatever he was saying. I didn't mean to be so rude, but I honestly couldn't care less about what he was talking about. He moved his arm slightly so it now rested around my shoulders, sending waves of discomfort through my body.
When we finally arrived, he practically skipped to the ticket booth, leaving me to attempt to catch up with him. When we got to the snack counter, he hurriedly ushered me along, leaving a 'helpful' suggestion to not get anything. We made our way to our seats, which, much to my dismay, were all the way in the back of the theater.
I literally spent the entirety of the movie warding off Tyler's advances. At first, I thought it was almost cute, but then it just became way too much and I wound up sitting as far away from him as my seat would let me. When we finally left, I marched off to the car and demanded that he take me home. He merely frowned at me, obviously angry. "So, did you like the movie?" he asked as he once again, draped his arm over my shoulders. I laughed. I barely got to watch the stupid thing since I was so preoccupied trying to release myself from his grip. "I'll take that as a yes. We should do this again." He said with a smile. It was then that I noticed that Tyler wasn't taking us on the right road, he was leading us towards the forest that surrounded most of Forks and La Push. I gulped nervously, what was he doing? "Um, w-where are we going?" I asked quietly. He merely chuckled in response.
We soon approached the heavily wooded area, and he drove down a path that brought us deeper into the forest. I began to freak out a little bit, why didn't he just take me home? He kept sending me strange glances. We pulled up overlooking a small creek. "This place is called Baiser Creek. I head up here with my friends a lot." He said with a grin. I smiled anxiously. Baiser sounded French, and I used to take French back in my old school. I thought maybe thinking of the translation of the word would make distract me a little, settle my discomfort.
And once I realized what it was in English, I almost hyperventilated.
Baiser meant 'kiss'.
I laughed nervously, and Tyler wrapped his arm closer around me. "Um, T-Tyler, look, you're a really nice guy…"
The doors locked.
His nodded his head, letting me continue. My heart was beating a mile a minute, oh my God, what was going on? "…But I t-think I like you better as a f-friend." I said hopefully. His smile diminished, and an expression of rage took its place. He chuckled coldly. "You know, Raegan, when I first saw you, I thought you were the prettiest girl in the school. I admired you, sent you notes that asked you questions that you never responded to. I take you on a nice date, and here I am now, getting turned down."
Instinctively, I felt bad for him. "L-Look, I'm really sorry-"
"-And a part of me isn't surprised. I'm tired of being called the 'nice' guy. Nice guys finish last. I've been turned down, stood up, and rejected more times than you can count. What if I don't want to be the nice guy anymore? What if I never was the nice guy?" he asked, venom dripping off of every word. I was trembling now, what did he mean? "T-Tyler, I'm sorry I wasted your ti-"
"Shut up. Just shut up. You're wrong, Raegan. So, very, very wrong! See, this isn't going to be a waste of time. I refuse to let this date go to waste. I'm going to get what I came for. I'm not the nice guy anymore." He growled. Just as I was about to apologize again, and tell him to take me down, I was cut off by a pair of blubbering, wet lips.
Shock filled my body immediately. I couldn't respond. I finally came to my senses, and pushed effortlessly against his broad chest. "Oh my God! Get off of me!" I shouted. He unbuckled his seat belt, and climbed clumsily towards me, shoving his tongue down my throat. I couldn't breathe! I yanked my neck backwards, and he merely just laughed and pressed himself closer to me. He practically attacked my neck with kisses, and I felt something poking me in the stomach. "HELP!" I screamed, a strangled sob erupting from my throat. He covered my mouth with his again, shoving his tongue back in so I couldn't yell again. Not that anyone heard me, anyway.
Tears cascaded down my cheeks faster than they could be stopped, and he wrenched me closer by my hair, making me yelp in pain. His hands then left my face and my brown locks, and I heard him fiddling with the buttons on my collared shirt.
This wasn't happening. Not after what happened in South Dakota. Not again.
I kicked and struggled with all my might, hitting any part of him that I could find. My legs were confined under his, so although I would have kicked him in the testicles, but I couldn't move all that well. Furious, he grabbed my hair again, and threw my head against the window. In pain, but not nearly enough to stop fighting, I screamed for help once again. I heard him unbuckling his pants, and then a miracle happened.
It all happened in a matter of seconds. Out of nowhere, the car door was literally ripped off the handle, and with a blink of an eye, Tyler was off of me, lying on top of the crunchy, fall leaves on the forest floor. Startled, I sat up from my compromising position, and saw Sam, Seth, and Paul surrounding him menacingly. Paul was practically foaming of the mouth, before I saw Sam usher him towards me. I was curled up in the passenger seat, shaking. "P-Paul?" I asked quietly.
The look Paul gave me was enough to make me cry. In about 10 seconds, he went from seething in anger, bearing his teeth like an angry animal, and literally vibrating from shaking so badly, to a soft faced, sympathetic, sorrowful friend. He picked me up bridal style as I sobbed into his chest. He said something to Sam and Seth that I didn't catch, and he started carrying me out of the woods. "I'm so sorry, shhhhh, I'm sorry." He cooed repeatedly. What was he sorry for? He wasn't the one who forced himself on me.
We finally reached a major road and Paul carried me to his truck. Lying me down in the passenger seat, he quickly made his way to the driver's seat, and after shutting the door, scanned me for injuries. "He didn't hurt you, did he? I swear to God, if he did…." He said worriedly, clenching his fists tightly. "I-I'm fine, he just scared me is all. Trust me, his state of sanity is probably in much worse condition." I said, trying to laugh it off. He merely frowned, and reached out to push some hair out of my face lovingly with his huge hand. "I'm…I…I can't even tell you how horrible I feel. A simple apology doesn't even grasp what I want to say to you." He said in a pained voice. "Why are you sorry?"
"Raegan…do you remember the questions you asked me on Halloween?"
"Of course…how does that have-"
"I couldn't tell you the answers. I want to, so, so badly. But I can't yet, and it's an order I can't go against. I….I was going to kiss you on Halloween, I really was. But I want you to know what you are…getting into…before I do anything. That's why I left so fast that night. I had no choice, and I thought my only option was to run away from you, to not talk to you. I didn't want you to get sucked into this mess, but I was wrong. I was so wrong, Raegan. Please forgive me. I don't want to lose this because I made stupid decisions. I don't want to lose you." He pleaded, his own eyes welling up with tears. Making a bold move, I took my small and slid it into his, squeezing it reassuringly. I was very perplexed by everything he said, and I wanted to point out desperately that I didn't know what he was talking about, but I shook my head. "Paul, it's okay…I understand, really. You know how you told me that I could tell you my secrets when I'm ready? Well, the same goes for you. You can tell me anything. As long as you are ready." I coaxed. He nodded, using his thumb and index finger to remove all traces of tears. Looking into my eyes, he scanned my body over again. "Are you sure he didn't do anything else?"
"Yes, Paul."
"You sure?"
"Paul, you guys got to him before he could do anything else. I swear, I'm fine. He just scared me."
Paul smiled a little, and that made me let out a deep breath I wasn't aware I was holding.
XXXXXXXXXX
Paul drove me home, and I couldn't wait to get into bed. "Well, thank you for taken me home." I said. I mean, I know he's driven me home before, but for some reason, this felt different. "Yeah, no problem. It's always a pleasure." He replied in a breathy voice. Running around the other side to open the door for me, he helped me out and he walked me to the front porch. "Can…Can I see you tomorrow?" Paul asked nervously. I grinned, happy he finally wanted to see me. "Of course."
Just as I was about to say goodbye, he pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. He was tense at first, obviously expecting me to react negatively, but for the first time, I let him embrace me, and even hugged him back. He finally released me with a small kiss on my forehead, and headed back to his car.
My head was spinning uncontrollably. Today was one of the strangest days I've ever had. And it was mostly terrible.
But it ended on the best note I could have asked for.
A/N: Onto Chapter 10! Review folks!
