M2: Remembering Mother

I open my eyes again. But what I wake up to is not the sunlight, nor is it the concerned blue eyes of my wife. I wake up to darkness. I sit up and look around. I'm in my room; but not on Earth. Wait...what was Earth again? My memory slips of all the past things I had done. Now my mind is only set on the task at hand. I swing my legs over my bed. I stand and I realize how small I am. Then everything comes back to me. The Purging.
The Purging is a Saiyan ritual in which Lord Frieza chooses a planet and it is sold to the highest bidder. But before he can do so, he must get rid of all the inhabitants. At the moment, I was five. You heard me correctly. I was only five when I had ridiculed a planet. I threw on my Saiyan gear. I placed my hand on the door handle to exit my room. The planet I was ordered to exterminate was the same planet my mother had fought on, the last mission she did, fighting for that freak of a lizard's enjoyment and self-satisfaction. I gripped the handle harder.
The news of her death had become old. Though the shock of the queen's death was never forgotten. It was a year ago. I needed to clear her name. She hadn't finished the job, leaving fifteen survivors. She was ashamed and humiliated with her act of foolishness. But those jeers were gone. To everyone else, anyways. To me, it just blackened and stained my heart more with the same dark hate for Frieza. I turned the handle, stepping into a brightly-lit corridor. I knew this Saiyan Palace well. It was my home. My sanctuary. The only place I can stand to be away from Frieza.
Frieza. The name coats my tongue like poison.
I continue at a purposeful stride, soon greeted by my buffoon for a body guard.
"Good morning, Prince Vegeta." Nappa says. He walks behind me, being my stalker. I'm used to it, but sometimes it gets on my nerves how he just follows me around like that.
"Shut up, Nappa." I feel no remorse for this command, wanting Nappa to actually feel hurt. I walk down this carpeted hallway, adorned with the royal Saiyan insignia on each wall and banister. The blue and cream hues of the walls reminded me of my mother, her silken blue cape always cascading around her creamy shoulders, her eyes full of love and warmth...
mother...
I only paused slightly at the thought of her. Lucky for me, Nappa was to busy rambling on about the Purging and his first one to notice. I turn a corner and we both run into the green man I've always despised. Zarbon stood in front of is, smirking down at me.
"So, Prince Vegeta, do you remember yesterday?" he asks. I make no reply. I would prefer not to be reminded of the horrible beating I had received from him for insulting his 'looks'. Instead I nod. "Well then, I guess you monkeys actually have brains. Anyway, Lord Frieza wishes to see you. I suggest you hurry, Vegeta."
I want to kill this thing. No one ever talks to me in such a familiar manner! I clench my fists, my power level spiking higher.
"Oh dear, did I cause the monkey to get upset? Please, Vegeta, we both know how this ends," Zarbon then hits a well-placed blow to my solar plexus. I'm sent flying backwards, hitting the wall behind me. Nappa rushes to my aid, not bothering to avenge me, the fool. I can feel the pain rise up my throat as I choke out the crimson that is my royal blood. Zarbon has the nerve to show fake sympathy.
"Oh my, Vegeta. I never intended to hit you so hard! I guess you have to freshen up, then," he lied, showing pure sarcasm on the word never. Now my blood is boiling. I stand up, wiping the blood from my mouth onto my glove. Then I just look at him, channeling all my hate and frustration through that look. Zarbon merely turns and starts walking away.
"Prince Vegeta! We must get you to a rejuvenation tank!" my unhelpful manservant says. He grabs my arm but I tug it from his grasp.
"I'm fine, Nappa. Just shut up and follow me." I am quite shocked that I'm able to move about with the injury I've suffered. Nonetheless, I ignore it and keep walking. I make my way out of the palace and to Frieza's ship. I step on the cold metal and continue past the guards and to Frieza's room.
As I walked in, I could smell the wine from his glass that he currently held in his left hand while he looked out his window. I had enough common sense to bow, which was pure agony after the injury I have just received, to the Lord of The Universe before speaking.
"Lord Frieza, it is I, Prince Vegeta. I have come to receive orders on the Purging that I am expected to complete." I await my instructions, keeping my expression void of emotion.
"Oh, Vegeta. I had not expected you so late, what has kept you?"
"I had to speak with Zarbon, your majesty." I can feel the hatred and pain I suffered as I said it. I try to hide my emotions from this pale, pink lizard.
"Oh? Well then you should have rushed here even faster in order to be punctual. After all, aren't princes supposed to punctual?" Frieza begins to advance upon me, slipping his free hand under my chin, gently forcing me to look at him in the eye. "Right, Prince Vegeta?"
"Yes, Lord Frieza," I manage to choke out. I could smell the wine in his breath, intoxicating to my sensitive Saiyan smell. The fiend lets go of me, and returns to his chair. He takes a sip from his wine while I patiently wait out instructions. I could feel Nappa getting impatient, his hands balling into fists. I send him a hard stare, telling him silently to quit. He unclenches his hands reluctantly, still having the facial expression of impatience. Finally, Frieza chooses to speak again.
"There is a planet named Ygouzini. Are you familiar with the name, Vegeta?"
"Yes, Lord Frieza." I was right. That was where my mother's last mission took place before...I couldn't bring myself to think about what happened to my mother. I banish the images from my mind. Five I only may be, but I have seen and remembered things no child of my age should have to witness. My thoughts are ruptured by that insufferable lizard opening his black lips once more.
"You do know what you are required to complete, right Vegeta?"
"Yes, Lord Frieza. I must purge the planet of all of its inhabitants and leave no survivors."
"Yes, good job, Vegeta. Do not fail me like your mother did."
Ouch. Now I wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and crush him to bits. I just about did, but luckily I had the common sense not to. The mention of her failure, the one she was punished for, caused tears to sting my eyes. Don't get me wrong, as I am only a child. I still need to control my emotions, as being a child, I still need to learn not to incur my emotions as such. Oh, what a fool I am.
"Yes, Lord Frieza," I reply, my small voice threatening to crack. I swallow hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. I blink back the tears now forming.
"Be back in two hours. Do I need someone to fetch you after your little nap, or can you do that yourself?"
"That will not be necessary, my Lord." Now the cheeky little lizard decides to put my age against me. Lovely.
"Oh ho! My little Saiyan Prince can do things himself now? What a charming surprise. Well, you may leave."
"Thank you, Lord Frieza." Thankfully, I turn to leave.
"Oh, and Vegeta?" I hear the thing say.
"Yes, Lord Frieza?" I turn to meet his gaze. He gives me a fake sympathetic look.
"Do not begin to cry in front of me. It makes you look weaker than you already are." He turns to his chair and is once again sipping his wine and looking out his large domed window at his leisure. Meanwhile, I am plotting out his death.
Nappa and I exited the throne room and turned the same corner we had before. I was speed walking, wanting to get as far away as possible.
"Prince Vegeta!" Nappa called. I didn't turn to look at him. I couldn't afford to. Deadly, venomous tears were already rolling down my cheeks. "Stop!"
"Do not follow me! That's an order!" I shouted. I flew put the doors and raced back to the palace. I landed on the courtyard stone, deciding to walk the rest of the way. I brushed tears away from my cheek, but more followed. As I walked, I thought of where to go. After several seconds of thought, I made a beeline for my sanctuary. My true sanctuary. I exited the courtyard under an arch and went into a secluded copse of trees. I brushed my bangs aside, the wind blowing them into my eyes. I finally found what I was looking for.
In front of me lay a pond outlined with the same decorative tile of the palace courtyard. This was an old pond, which was quickly forgotten as trees covered its existence. Only my mother knew, which she had then shown me. No one else knew. Not even my father or Nappa.
I brushed some dew off of the tile and sat down. Tears still cascading, I looked into the pond. It began to ripple. Then I saw something unbelievable. The reflection of my mother, right behind me. The same dark hair, creamy skin, rosy cheeks. She was not clothed in saiyan armor, but of an elegant dress. It was the same blue as her cape, but instead the skirt of it was sheer. She was adorned with beautiful jewelry, bracelets on either arm. A necklace crafted with a gem, a lilac-colored one, shone on her collarbone. She smiled. But the most intriguing that told me it was my mother, told me she was still alive, was the warm, consoling look in her eyes. She seemed to whisper something...I swear I could hear it.
"Vegeta..."
I immediately turned around. But what I saw was not my mother, beautiful and graceful, behind me. What I saw was my father. Oh crap. I'm in trouble. I'm positive he could see my tears. I tried to will my hand to brush them off. But I couldn't. But my father did that for me. He raised a gloved hand and brushed my cheek. Then he put his arms around me. The king. Showing such...such...kindness. Not thinking, I put my small hands around his thick neck. As I cried into his armored chest, rain began to pour mercilessly. He pulled his cape around me, shielding me from the rain. We stayed like that for several minutes. And the whole time I cried like a fool, in front of my father, my pride not mattering to me. I just wanted my mother back.
"Son." His sharp voice scared me. I didn't expect him to speak. I sniffed and pulled back, rain soaking me, causing my bangs to plaster against my face. Father reached out into the pond and took a piece of watercress and looked at it, just lying in his fingers, as if he expected his long lost wife to come back if he wished it to be so.
"Yes, Father?" I ask, my voice still shaky and hoarse from crying for so long.
"What is this place?" he gestured around at the peaceful copse, peaceful if you omit the rain. I decided how to tell him. This secluded place, the one me and mother shared, we had kept from him for years. The first time I had come here was when I was three. I have only known it for two years. Exactly two years. I was shown to it by mother when I was turning three. Today was my birthday.
"Mother and I used to go here, seeking peace from all the fighting. You already know that Mother never liked fighting. But this is where she would always tell me reasons and express her complaints about Lord Frieza's rule." The mention of Frieza's name brought a flash of anger to dawn on my father's face. He still never forgave Frieza for her death. Her brutal death. There were still stains in the courtyard...the dark stains...
"Go on," the king ordered, surprisingly soft. I hesitated but was not ushered by my father. About a minute went by before I continued, rain soaking us to the bone.
"Mother would always bring warm milk here, at night. Whenever I couldn't sleep, I always asked Mother to comfort me. So she would hold my hand and take me here. We would gaze at stars and talk, for hours on end." A smile lit my face. As I gazed into the pond, avoiding my Father's gaze, the memories of her laughter and happiness came to mind. "Once, she brought Tarble here with us and we would run around and play tag."
"Your banished brother?" My father asked. My brother had been sent to another planet because he was much too good-natured. I nod.
"Father?"
"Yes, son?" I gather my courage and look him in the eyes.
"Why did you never banish Mother, if she hated fighting?" I prepare for a lecture. I've only asked this question once, and I got hit across the Saiyan throne room for it. But I didn't get hit. Instead, he gave me an answer.
"Because I loved her. She was my world. My one and only. My Tashi," he said, gazing into the red sky.
Has your father ever expressed his love for your mother? Doesn't it feel as if your invading some unknown privacy? Like your overhearing something you shouldn't? Eavesdropping on a secluded space of mind? Well that's how I felt. Except this was the king. My strong, unbreakable father. He didn't show kindness often, though he did show a fatherly shine on me. But the problem with this conversation, this confession of his love to his betrothed, was that the Queen was dead. It caused a jagged crack between the two of us. Also, as I'm the one who witnessed her death...
Mother's death...no, murder...
I swallow hard, the grotesque images flooding my mind's eye once more. It was also weird how he explained why he didn't banish mother, but instead my brother. They both hated fighting. But instead he decided to send my brother away to some unknown galaxy and keep my mother. For a chance at another, more warrior-like child? Just because of this 'love' concept? To this day I don't understand why. And it still haunts my mind today, this confession of love.
"Your mother was mesmerizing. She may have hated fighting, but she still learned and killed. She did it to serve Lord Frieza. But nonetheless Frieza ordered her death. Isn't that correct, my son?" he turned to look at me. I nod slowly. He pauses before continuing. "Son, the reason I chose your mother over your brother was for you. I knew you and her had a bondage. You had nothing built for your brother. If I had sent her away, then you would be devastated and not want to fight. I had to keep her. Also because I loved her. Tarble was a mistake. Remember that Vegeta. You are be the better child, for you are a warrior."
Those words stain my memory. You are the better child, for you are a warrior. Never have I forgotten these words. But this conversation is not over. More words I still have yet to hear that I need to remember.
"Son, I need you to know this. Your mother, I love her. I still do, even after death. That is because of the love that I have for her. Remember that love is strong. Remember that love can give you courage and strength. Never abandon it. When you find her, never let her go. You must protect her and whatever children you wish to have with her.
"Son, I know I sound like a fool and a weakling. But my words speak truth. Love can benefit a persons' soul. I want you to be a warrior, but never do I wish for you to turn twisted. Never stray from the path of the Saiyans. I don't want you to turn soft, never! But the only thing your never allowed to kill is your family. Do you understand?" I nod. He nods back. He lays a hand on my shoulder and gives me a sincere look. "This conversation of love and whatnot never happened, okay?"
"Yes, father."
"Good. Now we should be getting inside. The time for your purging begins soon. Come on, I'll escort you instead of Nappa this time." He stands and holds out a hand. I grasp it and am instantly hoisted up by my father's strong arm. I smile, warmly. That was the last time I ever smiled...

Mother...

You can beat me,
You can blame me,
You can shut off all light in the world,
You can leave my soul wicked and curled,
But one thing that cannot do,
Is prevent your horrible, wicked death I plan for you
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